CUSHION FOR THE PUSHIN'

[Lex Diamonds]

My girlfriend has been away all this week, and what with the lack of sex and abundance of free time, I've just spent all my time drinking beer and eating too much. Now she's gonna come back tomorrow and be like "OMG FATTY!"

So my question is: all you fat people, how do you make yourself attractive to the opposite sex?

[icy manipulator]

do her from behind, then she wont have to see your fat ass

[Lex Diamonds]

Pfft, that goes without saying. I just wanna know how all the fatties of the board get their game on.

[Otis Driftwood]

Pfft,
Lay off the grease, man. You're already breathing heavy and puffin...

[na§tee]

i think fat people have sex just like normal people.

i don't see my boyfriend for months at a time, but normally it's him who puts on weight and me who loses it - we're going in two different directions. i don't mind. he is cuddly.

[Lex Diamonds]

Lay off the grease, man. You're already breathing heavy and puffin...
I've actually got a throat infection too. I've decided I'm just not gonna tell her about it and let her have it too. (y)

[Lex Diamonds]

This thread seems to have less comic potential than I had wished. I wanted stories of obese guys taping their huge bellies between their legs and shit.

[icy manipulator]

Pfft, that goes without saying. I just wanna know how all the fatties of the board get their game on.
switch from the puff puff give to ciggies, that way you wont get the munchies and the nicotine will suppress your hunger (y)

[Otis Driftwood]

Get a mine, I mean Cat-a-mean, know whudimsain?

[Lex Diamonds]

switch from the puff puff give to ciggies, that way you wont get the munchies and the nicotine will suppress your hunger (y)
I quit blazing about 2 months ago and I've been smoking for around 3 years.

[Planetary]

quit
quitttttttttt

[zorra_chiflada]

you're fat, sucked in

[amelie hart]

I quit blazing about 2 months ago and I've been smoking for around 3 years.

People put on weight when they stop smoking so either eat healthy or go back to the cigarettes.
Maybe your girlfriend has put on weight so speak to her about your weight.

[Lex Diamonds]

People put on weight when they stop smoking so either eat healthy or go back to the cigarettes.
Maybe your girlfriend has put on weight so speak to her about your weight.
Woah woah woah... let's get this straight.

I still smoke cigarettes, around 20 a day so that aint the problem. And it's not like I've become a real lard-ass, I've just built a lil beer belly thing over this week.

I'm not looking for serious weight loss tips, I just wanted to hear funny stories about fat people. :(

[na§tee]

WELL MAYBE BEING FAT ISN'T FUNNY, TUBSTER! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, JACK BLACK?

[Lex Diamonds]

:(

[na§tee]

:cool:

[icy manipulator]

Woah woah woah... let's get this straight.

I still smoke cigarettes, around 20 a day so that aint the problem. And it's not like I've become a real lard-ass, I've just built a lil beer belly thing over this week.

I'm not looking for serious weight loss tips, I just wanted to hear funny stories about fat people. :(
ask toucan

[Lex Diamonds]

Being fat IS funny! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKkWMX9zVeI)

[na§tee]

Being fat IS funny! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKkWMX9zVeI)
naw son, this is where it's at (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sgQYDJ3tQo).

[Otis Driftwood]

So this fat guy walks in a bar....
Hope you find this funny:
http://www.comics101.com/guestlecturer//news/Guest%20Lecturer/35/5flash.jpg
http://www.dialbforblog.com/archives/72/supes221swanderson.gif
http://www.dialbforblog.com/archives/72/jo59.gif
http://www.dialbforblog.com/archives/72/lois5swan_kaye.gif

[Lex Diamonds]

naw son, this is where it's at (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sgQYDJ3tQo).
HAHA what a fat bastard!

[amelie hart]

Woah woah woah... let's get this straight.

I still smoke cigarettes, around 20 a day so that aint the problem. And it's not like I've become a real lard-ass, I've just built a lil beer belly thing over this week.

I'm not looking for serious weight loss tips, I just wanted to hear funny stories about fat people. :(

Why don't you like fat people?, the way that your going you're going to end up fat and lonely.
Are your parents fat ?.:p

[Lex Diamonds]

So this fat guy walks in a bar....
Hope you find this funny:
http://www.comics101.com/guestlecturer//news/Guest%20Lecturer/35/5flash.jpg
http://www.dialbforblog.com/archives/72/supes221swanderson.gif
http://www.dialbforblog.com/archives/72/jo59.gif
http://www.dialbforblog.com/archives/72/lois5swan_kaye.gif
Haha those are all quality. (y)

[The Notorious LOL]

I knew this kid who was pretty fat but he always had a girl. Not like chubby fat, like actual "shop at the big and tall store" fat. He just was very confident. Wasnt pushy or over the line but stood his ground on stuff and was outspoken. Women appreciated it, I think.

[Nivvie]

I have a 'mummy tummy' and so like darkness and nighties.
If I were a fat bloke, I'd bonk in a t-shirt, or some kind of costume.

Plus, it's getting cold, so unless Marks and Spencers come up with crotchless PJ's, I see no reason or sense in nakedness.

[Randetica]

im fat and i never had sex


fuck it all makes sense now!

[kaiser soze]

I heard fat people drug the people they are about to have sex with

but making fun of fat people is mean, so fuck on fat people!

[zorra_chiflada]

to answer the question - with the light off. and make sure you don't capture a glimpse of yourself in the mirror or you'll end up crying.

[Otis Driftwood]

im fat and i never had sex


fuck it all makes sense now!
(y) I think this post will make me laugh for the rest of the day.
Actually I had the impression that most porn features FAT women. Sucks for fat men...