i've taken up lying as a hobby

[Bob]

truth is my real past isn't very interesting

so i've decided to invent one

so far i'm an ex-smoker and i have occasional acid flashbacks

nobody doubts me yet

where should i go next?

[Dorothy Wood]

ex-navy pilot

[Bob]

but then i gotta come up with war stories

i'm trying to think of lies that don't require me to think of sub-lies

the ex-smoking thing was close enough. i had to invent a brand and the length of my habit on the fly

i'm trying to think of lies like "yeah, i'm colorblind"

[Dorothy Wood]

herpes

[Bob]

no, sexy lies

[Dorothy Wood]

THAT IS A SEXY LIE!

okay. umm, you worked on a boat.

[mikizee]

which one of these statements is false?

ive been convicted for production of cannibis

ive had a heart attack

ive met drew barrymore in a toilet

i beat eddie vedder in a go kart race

[Pres Zount]

Nobody beats eddie in go karts except for mikizee

[mikizee]

bzzzzzt wrong

[tracky]

i'm taking cannibis

[trailerprincess]

The Drew B one is false

[Kid Presentable]

Tell them you used to manage a resort.

[Loppfessor]

Trick question...they're all false!

[Lex Diamonds]

Tell people you're an ex-president who was removed by the FBI in a conspiracy and they changed your appearance and deleted all mention of you from the international media and wiped you from everyone's brains using a special radiation bomb. (y)

[b i o n i c]

i went to school with a guy who swore up and down to everyone that he was buddies with bruce springstein... for years... and always referred to it in class/conversation/etc. i dont understand why none of the teachers intervened. some people just nodded their heads, the rest just laughed outloud while he uncomfortably tried to ignore them.

tell people you co-wrote we are the world with michael jackson

[Waus]

Throw in something about working with the Peace Corps.


Always a hit - but totally unverifiable.

[Kid Presentable]

Streetfighter 3 was the bomb lie in 1994.

[beastiegirrl101]

when some creepy guy wants to buy me a drink at a bar I tell them I'm a recovering alkie.

[The Notorious LOL]

tell them your grandpa invented Bacos or your cousin was the guitarist in Harvey Danger

[Bob]

Throw in something about working with the Peace Corps.


Always a hit - but totally unverifiable.

nah, everybody knows i came to law school straight out of college, i whine about it all the time

the bacos thing, i like that

i'm thinking i'm going to tell people i'm celibate. which is sort of true, when you think about it in a certain way. of course i'm not going to go out of my way to tell people that, but if i get into a situation where i have to, i'll just say that. i almost did the other day. someone was asking me "you know that part in me myself and irene, where you can't aim your pee after you have sex, is that true?" and i said "uhhhhhhh i wouldn't know" but i don't think anyone was listening.

i did manage to convince some people that girls wear safety goggles when they take money shots in porno. i was pretty proud of myself for that one

[abcdefz]

tell people you co-wrote we are the world with michael jackson



...you think Bob will be able to convince people he's actually Lionel Ritchie?

[Bob]

...you think Bob will be able to convince people he's actually Lionel Ritchie?

safety goggles, dude

[b i o n i c]

like my old high school mate he could insist that he's uncredited for legal reasons and that he was paid in trust, which is what's now paying for his law school.... yeah! and that he decided to go to law school so that he'd never again be duped by asian women

[abcdefz]

safety goggles, dude



You got some gravy on your 'stache, there, bro.

[Waus]

Tell them you have OCD and then just use that as an excuse to do whatever your impulses tell you.

[QueenAdrock]

How about you were the runner-up in a state-wide spelling bee when you were younger? Or your ex-girlfriend's cousin is a B-list celebrity, like say Rebecca Gayheart?

Those are dumb but entertaining. To you, at least.

[mikizee]

just for those who care (none of you) the false statement was the first one!

[Dorothy Wood]

if you tell everyone you're celibate, all the girls will try to boink you like in an 80's movie. YEAH BABY!

[Bob]

if you tell everyone you're celibate, all the girls will try to boink you like in an 80's movie. YEAH BABY!

that's the plan

i've done more ironic things though. i once made a pact with a co-worker to not date co-workers, but only because i was trying to get in her pants. didn't work

[befsquire]

she was blonde, right? reverse psychology doesn't work on them.

[Bob]

she was blonde, right? reverse psychology doesn't work on them.

nah, foreign

she missed the subtlety of the joke