I desperatley need your advice

[RaZoRbLaDe KiSs]

Im sure many of you know that recentley my cousin Dean passed away. Me and him were close when we were little, but in recent years we've gone our own ways, Infact, I saw him a while ago and we got into a fight, I called him immature. I regreat it, but I've been thinking since im 17, Im considering getting a tattoo in his memory.
Now, about this tattoo, I've talked to my family about this (some of them) my grandma says that she doesnt think it's a good idea (she says it's stupid -A few of his really close friends got tattoo's for him and she says it's stupid because they're going to go thier own way and forget all about this)
(Im also afraid she'll disown me for this - and that my cousins who were closer to him then I were are gonna get pissed that I got it)

But If I get it, im getting a 33 in a heart, or his intials (DAF) on my right wrist, right at the pulse point. Because he's my blood, and my heart, and that's where my veins are, and that's where, my blood - OUR blood, runs through. Also I think it'll serve a reminder that life is short, I should live it to the fullest and never take anything, or anyone for granted. I want his memory to live on, I want to remember to smile, sing like no one's listening, and dance like no one's watching... I want to remember Dean and the impact he had on my life forever.

Also im afraid that I might at one point regreat it just like my grandma says I will... but I dont see how I could.
So what's your opinion? get it? or not?

[b i o n i c]

if it means something to you and will help you remember something valuable or a good lesson (and if its not gonna be ridiculous and conspicuous) go for it...

[ToucanSpam]

If you're going to get it, don't put it in a place where it can been seen in every day activity. It'll be a painful reminder and you'll never be able to fully move on because you'll constantly see it and wonder what could have or should have happened.

[RaZoRbLaDe KiSs]

I dont think it's going to be painful. I accept the fact that he's gone. I have plans for the rest of my body, and I really like the meaning behind the pulse point.

[RaZoRbLaDe KiSs]

Im not using it to get anyone's attention. I could give less of a shit about anyone else. I fucking love my cousin to death, regaurdless of us growing apart or not. Im just about on the edge of a breakdown. I love that kid with all my heart, he's my family for christ's sake.

If your gonna be a heartless bastard just dont post anything at all.

[jlees_mcsd]

The only things you should keep in mind are:
A) The wrist is VERY tender
B) Homage is cool
C) Do you have enough body space for ALL the ppl that you love who will go before you do?

Tat's are forever, but so are memories. Good luck in your choice.

[RaZoRbLaDe KiSs]

I know the wrist is tender.
I've thought about the fact that I cant put down everyone, and how It might not be fair that I put one person down and not the others.. But his death has significant meaning to me - it's not just "thats my cousin, he died." This has really opened up my eyes about my life.

[monkey]

wait a year. if you still want it in a year, then go for it.

[jlees_mcsd]

I know the wrist is tender.
I've thought about the fact that I cant put down everyone, and how It might not be fair that I put one person down and not the others.. But his death has significant meaning to me - it's not just "thats my cousin, he died." This has really opened up my eyes about my life.


I was just giving you what you asked for, my advice. I have to agree with monkey, I think that waiting isn't a bad idea. I got my tattoo for my 30th birthday. I don't regret it. It hurt like a mother f***er though. Now after 5 years I want another one. I want to have one where I can see it.

[Documad]

wait a year. if you still want it in a year, then go for it.
This is excellent advice.

Don't make any permanent decisions out of guilt, extreme emotions, or when you're "on the edge of a breakdown."

[hitmonlee]

C) Do you have enough body space for ALL the ppl that you love who will go before you do?

this is what i was going to say.

i'd say no, but that's because i'd never get a tatt myself. you're 17. i can tell you the tattoo i wanted at age 17, and even age 19, is something i would absolutely regret today.

[befsquire]

i gotta be honest, it sounds like you want one because all of his friends did it. i'm sorry for your loss, but it seems like you're trying to prove something to someone that doesn't need to be proven.

wait a year like pauli said.

[RaZoRbLaDe KiSs]

I dont think it's a bad idea for a tattoo, I mean it's not like im getting something stupid, It's in memory of my cousin. The way I look at it is it's a good idea, It's something that'll help me get along without him, and if I do regreat it in 15 years so be it. It's another lesson in a big book of lessons. How can I learn if I dont make mistakes? I want tattoo's, but how will I ever know if thier a mistake or not If I never get one?

[RaZoRbLaDe KiSs]

i gotta be honest, it sounds like you want one because all of his friends did it. i'm sorry for your loss, but it seems like you're trying to prove something to someone that doesn't need to be proven.

wait a year like pauli said.

I never said I was doing it because of his friends, Im not even close to his friends so I have no reason to impress them. This is the first real, significant death I've faced in my life. Dean meant something to me, im not trying to prove anything, I just want to remember my cousin, and I know your gonna say "you have your memories" but if this is how I choose to express it, then why not?

[Knuckles]

I'm sorry to hear about your cousin kiddo. :(

I think that waiting a year is good advice. Clear your head, get some perspective, then make the decision. Hang in there.

[hitmonlee]

I dont think it's a bad idea for a tattoo, I mean it's not like im getting something stupid, It's in memory of my cousin. The way I look at it is it's a good idea, It's something that'll help me get along without him, and if I do regreat it in 15 years so be it. It's another lesson in a big book of lessons. How can I learn if I dont make mistakes? I want tattoo's, but how will I ever know if thier a mistake or not If I never get one?

so you've already made up your mind and just wanted us to say yes, get the tattoo.

ok then. get the tattoo.

[The Notorious LOL]

wait a year like everyone else said.

[Dorothy Wood]

this is kind of like the time at a party a few years ago when someone happened to ask me about my step-father killing himself and I was telling the story discretely to a few of my friends and this chick was like, "ONE TIME IN HIGH SCHOOL, THIS KID I KNEW SHOT HIMSELF AND I HAD JUST TALKED TO HIM THE DAY BEFORE AND IT WAS SO AWFUL, I COULD'VE DONE SOMETHING!" and then started sobbing.

and I was like, "uhh, this isn't a competition".

don't be that chick.

people die. it sucks, but don't try to make more out of it than it is. especially if your grandma's going to "disown" you. :rolleyes:

[Tone Capone]

wait a year. if you still want it in a year, then go for it.

That's the best advice in this thread.

It kinda sounds like you already have your mind made up to get it and want everyone to back you up right now though...

Wait a year and see how you feel. Go through your mourning and be there for you family right now, worry about body art later.

[kaiser soze]

I think it's sweet that you are considering this, but wait...you are in mourning and a tattoo won't bring him back.

For now, focus on the positive not the negative...this tattoo idea seems to be a bit out of guilt, think about him first and then think of you later.

My brother passed away in 85 and just last year I considered getting a tattoo of a piece of his artwork, I have yet to decide if I really should do it and won't feel guilty if I don't....so neither should you.

hang in there!

[Tone Capone]

So what happened? Did you get the tat?

[Kid Presentable]

Don't be an idiot. Don't do it.

[ms.peachy]

Although your reasons for wanting to get one maybe considered by some to be laudable, I heartily caution against rushing into it. Especially if it is going to be in a conspicuous spot that you cannot easily cover up. You may be in a position professionally someday wherein it will not suit you to have it on display to all and sundry. Of course, right now in your life, you are thinking "Fuck anybody who doesn't like it, it's my body and my right and blah blah blah", and well you should think that at this age. However, in time, you might come to realise that you do not want to be judged by the external elements of your appearance, but by your character and accomplishments. It is all well and good to say "people shouldn't judge me by my looks" but remember that in getting a tattoo that is always visible, you are choosing to be judged that way, because that is the way the world works.

A real life example: when I met mr.p, he had quite spiky hair and an earring. One day at work, he realised that clients at the firm (he is an architect) were referring to him as "that punky kid with the earring" and it got him thinking. At 27, with several project experiences under his belt, he didn't want to be thought of as 'the kid with the earring'; he wanted to be remembered as the guy who suggested the innovative design changes, the guy who brought the project in at budget, or the fellow who caught the errors in the detail drawings before they went out to the contractor. In other words, he wanted to be taken seriously as a professional who worked to a high standard.

So right now, you might think a tattoo on your wrist is a brilliant idea. Well, maybe it is and maybe it isn't. Choose well.

[DandyFop]

I can speak here as someone going through a similar kind of choice to make. I designed a small tatoo of a little thing I had drawn of a friend of mine who committed suicide this past summer. I want to get it in the middle of my arm between the wrist and elbow (because years ago when I drew this picture the first time, that's where it was).

He died back in July and I have been considering it this whole time. Pauli gave good advice, saying to wait a year, - that's what I am also doing. Though now I want it more than ever, but I don't know..it's also hard to have it in that spot because you want to be able to see it all the time, but I wouldn't want people constantly asking me what it means (which is kind of stupid because that's half of what tatoos are, maybe? I don't know).

Anyway, sorry mostly what I had to say was wait, but I wanted to share that I was thinking about doing something like that as well.

[bigblu89]

My personal stand is that I'd never get a tattoo involving another person, unless it's my kid.

And even then, I doubt it.

[abcdefz]

Wino forever!

[beastiegirrl101]

..it's also hard to have it in that spot because you want to be able to see it all the time, but I wouldn't want people constantly asking me what it means (which is kind of stupid because that's half of what tatoos are, maybe? I don't know).

all of my tattoo's are in spots that I can show them when I want them to be seen, I believe there is a time and a place for everything and I didnt want to be a bride walking down the asile with all these visable tats=tacky. I got them hidden because I didnt want people asking what they meant all the time, I got them for me...not everyone else.

[b-grrrlie]

Here you gotta be 18 to get a tattoo anyway so you better wait, Kristen!
I would never tattoo somebody's name.
All my tattoo's are in places people can't see them unless I show them. Tattoo's a very addictive as well, when you've gotten one you always want more! I've been planning a new one for ages, but a little bigger one than those I've got, and a sort of collage of stuff that are important to me. Haven't quite figured out what stuff tho...