Christmas Joke!

[Tone Capone]

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "you may pass through the pearly gates."

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" The man replied, "They're Carols." :D

[Yeti]

Why does Santa have such big balls?

Because he only comes once a year.....badabing

[kleptomaniac]

ho ho ho! good ones :rolleyes:

[Yeti]

Why did the snowman get a boner?

He heard the snowblower coming up the street.

[kleptomaniac]

one day a husband and wife came to a street corner where Officer Ed was directing traffic. 'good morning, officer ed,' said the husband. 'shut up!' said officer ed. 'i suppose you want me to stop traffic now, just so you and your ugly wife can cross the street.'
'my, it's a beautiful day,' said the wife. 'it's going to rain, stupid!' said officer ed. 'i've never met such stupid people in all my life.'
'but there's not a cloud in the sky,' said the woman. 'read my lips, lady,' said officer ed. 'it's going to rain.'
sure enough, before they even made it across the street, the clouds blew in and the rain poured down. the man and woman had to run under a doorway for cover.
'my goodness,' said the woman. 'officer ed is extremely rude.'
'yes dear,' said her husband. 'but he knows rain.'
well it just so happened that the man and woman were songwriters, and that's what gave them the idea for that famous song.....
you know.... 'rude officer ed knows rain, dear.' say it quickly
rudolph the red-nosed reindeer! duh

from dogs don't tell jokes. that used to be my favorite book! :eek: