"IM GOING TO GET SOOOOO DRUNK....that im not even looking forward to it"

[HEIRESS]

this is basically my quote of the year by a coworker talking about our upcoming staff xmas party this Friday night
TOO GOOD!

its at a fancy hotel

everyone has rooms

I work with quite a few cute young boys

and there will be a few random selections of cute young rawrrr rawrrr manly miner boys from some companies there too

YUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

and I took the song "winter wonderland" and jimmied up the lyrics so that they are about mining and geochemistry and Im making a few coworkers sing it with me infront of the entire room of 150 people

[cookiepuss]

someone will touch your vajina before the night is through I predict.

[paul jones]

I wish I was rich with a helicopetr and laser guns

[HEIRESS]

totally paul!

vajinder touching would be nice, just not in front of my boss KTHNX!

[b i o n i c]

if yer gonna go for the miner boys make sure you look under their fingernails!

[SobaViolence]

or the best idea ever.

[HEIRESS]

I dont want to sleep with him, just makeout and touch privates and stuff

BUT THATS PROBABLY NOT GONNA HAPPEN BECAUSE HE ADMITTED THAT I "SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF HIM"

ah well, if sleeping with coworkers is bad then sleeping with clients is even worse

Ive licked one of them multiple times, but just for photo opts....
I lick alot of people for the sake of making a good photo

[Otis Driftwood]

Title pretty much describes the rest of 2006 for me, except for the 24th and 25th. Vacation / holiday = gogogo! (y)

[HEIRESS]

I should get a shirt with the phrase on it, I mean really

[Otis Driftwood]

Yeah, I understand. It was fun while you were still bragging. Now, people think you're making fun but you're complaining or lamenting...

[skra75]

miner boys lolz that is like a 70's porno. heiress is gonna get some menage a troi akshun. :eek:

[beastieangel01]

get some (!)

[Big Gus]

Sleeping with co workers is always bad in my rule book...

The book says nothing about random miners though. I say touch one/be touched innapropriately. It'll be fun, trust me.

[HEIRESS]

you can pan for gold in my stream annyyyyytime (http://www.bustedtees.com/bt/images/BT-miner-featured-745.jpg)

[Big Gus]

Heh. That tee rocks.

[HEIRESS]

I am so hyped up right now, Ive just been running around singing christmas carols to people in opera voices all day

someone told me to go away because "you are making me feel like im drunk with your excessive giddyness. and I cant feel drunk right now because im doing important science stuff!"

[QueenAdrock]

holy shit dairess i'm so drunk right now i just got bak from my party! i had 2 ucups of jack daniles with coke and other stuff and we tried playing beer drinking games but um that didnt work cuz i had so much to drink

MY SECRET SANTA GOT ME SEASON 1 OF WONDER SHOWZEN HOLY SHIT I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NMOW

i need to wake up at 9 :(

hahahhahaah (n)

[beastieangel01]

ahaha I had too much jack too! what a coincicenceeeeeeeee

I am so not ready for bed but I should be since i hvave to go to the bank.
I have typos but I'm too lazy to backspace so eat my ass

[monkey]

i wish i worked with heiress :o

[ET]

I wish I worked on Heiress. I'd be putting in double overtime. HEYOOOOOOO!

[HEIRESS]

holy shit

holy shit

holy shit

The clients must think we are fucking insane, but really thats why they love us and do business with us!

our lab got banned from the hotel/Inn, we are never allowed to hold a function there again

it was so fucking rowdy, I cant even begin

there were cops involved, someone called someone's wife a "whore" and punching to the head occured, the punchers was then fire on the spot and then the cops showed up and arrested him, and there was a frenzy as they went around trying to get witness statements becuase everyone was drunk and trying to be a comedian

my buddy fucking stole FOUR 40 pounders of liquor from the hotel bar, and was caught while taking the last one and was barred from that portion of the hotel

at the dinner buffet I went up to the carving table with a buddy and said to the dude carving the roast beef "my friend wanted me to ask you if you had a 10 inch cut of meat you could offer him??" and the dude cracked the fuck up and my buddy was all "OMG I HATCHU"

at one point I took someones's cowboy boots off of them and put them on and two other buddies decided it would be fun to flip me over backwards right in front of the bar while i was wearing them much to the glee of those around us

ummm what else

two of my good friends at work who have worked together and been buddies for 10+ years had the HUGEST fight and then took off leaving me bawling in the middle of the lounge
I reacted badly because they both are kinda like foster big brothers to me

I snuck up to my room multiple times to make out with the 20 year old (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v88/HEIRESS/poopoo/youngster.jpg)for the first portion of the night, then he got ridiculously drunk and turned mean and said horrendous things to me and pushed me and told me to "Fuck off"

I freaked out and started crying, my other two coworkers found me and were all WE LOVES US SOME AWESSE and cheered me up but a stupid miner buddy of mine locked us out of the room we were gonna stay in and I was freaking out and there was excessive ice throwing and then my drunk boss came down the hall on her way to her room and was all "are you guys going to be able to handle yourselves" and I yelled at here "WHEN HAVENT I BEEN ABLE TO HANDLE ANY GIVEN SITUATION, THATS WHY YOU KEEP ME AROUND ISNT IT" and she was all "OMG LOLS IM DRUNK BYEEEEEEE"

so then the 20 year old came roaring down the hallway and continued his "you are too intense and I cant do this and why dont you fuck off and not mess with me because Im not ready to be with someone like you and it just makes me angsty knowing im not capable of being with someone like you FUCK YOU" rant in my general direction, so I ripped his sweet sweater off and threatened to burn it out on the balcony and he LOLed and then was like "NO I CANT DO THIS DONT MAKE ME LAUGH FUCK YOU" and then took off again

so at this point it was sooo late and my friends were like OK COME IN OUR ROOOM, and I was going to sleep but I coudl hear them fooling around and making out so I took off through the sliding door on the the balcany that wraps around the hotel WITH NO SHOES because Id lost me shoes at some point around 9 pm, and i was walking on ice for a good 5 minutes before I found a hotel room with people in it i Knew so I could be let back into the building

then I remembered how sad I was and starting off on another bawling jag, my other work buddy found me crying in a stairwell at 4 am after numerous phone calls to my cell and I wouldnt tell him where i was so he just wandered around until he heard my voice

so he was like "I dont know how anyone could make you this sad, I wont make you sad!!!!" and then dragged my sniffling ass back to his room, so I ended off the evening in swanky hotel robes making out in an excessively hot hotel room

atleast this dude was 21 years old (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v88/HEIRESS/poopoo/bradypants.jpg)w00000t

and then in the moring, we were all drinking from my raspberry sour puss stash at the breakfast table and told my boss it was "cranberry juice"

and the catchphrase of the night which Id coined during pre-dinner cocktail hour was "jump on it jump on it" from the song apache
so that was my reply to everything and it caught on quickly and spread like wildfire til it became the moto of the night

and yeah, thats like not even half of my stories but Im too hungover to type anymore right now

[monkey]

i love this story

[beastieangel01]

atleast this dude was 21 years old (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v88/HEIRESS/poopoo/bradypants.jpg)w00000t



that guy is hot. good work. sorry about the other loser.

[QueenAdrock]

(y) Yeah man. Go for the 21 year old. Rawr.

[ET]

THAT COULD ONLY END IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP

[HEIRESS]

If THIS (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v88/HEIRESS/poopoo/bradypants2.jpg) and THISSA (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v88/HEIRESS/poopoo/moarningafter2.jpg) arent the definition of a long term relationship, then papa I dont wanna be right

whatever, it was a hookup, we are good buddies, we expect nothing else unless excessive amounts of booze are involved again or post crying soothing sessions are needed, atleast he calls me randomly during the day just to tell me Im beautiful.

life could be worse, right?

I JUST GOT DRUNK WITH THE 20 YEAR AGAIN TONIGHT
OMG I NEED TO FIND OLDER PEOPLE TO HANG WITH BUT ITS JUST TOO MUCH FUN WITH ZE YOUNGSTERS

[befsquire]

ok, so i'm about to admit something bobby doesn't even know.

SHHHHHHHHH! (*note: he does not stalk my posts, so he'd have to happen upon this, which i don't think he will. just in case -- sorry baby!)

youngsters are DELICIOUS. bobby is a youngster, compared to me, for thos who don't know. anyway, when i was first getting divorced and before i started seeing sk8r boi, there was this youngin who i made out with like 5 or 6 times. by youngin, i mean that he was 23 and i was 34. the age gap was so huge though that there was no way i could go any further; i felt like a child molester. he now exclusively dates older women because of me, from what he said months after i dumped him. :cool:

unless it bothers you, don't worry about his age. if you're having a good time, and so is he, and neither of you want something the other isn't willing to give, dowhatchulike.

and what is that dude drinking in that photo?

[HEIRESS]

yeah, Im not worried, its been a long time since Ive had a smile on my face and these youngens are doing a pretty good job at keepiing it there, so whatever right?

He happens to be drinking my stolen SOUR PUSS (http://www.happyhour.ca/Jo/Liqueurs/Liqueur5/images/SourPussRaspberryLiqueur.jpg)

smoothest, bestest, drinking it warm liquor EVER

This (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v88/HEIRESS/poopoo/nickinsanitynow.jpg) one (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v88/HEIRESS/poopoo/nickonthewoofer.jpg) is 23. might be worth a go too eh?
though he worked with my brother and the similiarties between us are so freakish to the boy that he is like "I couldnt make out with you because it would be like making out with your brother.....except Id have a huuuuge boner"

[befsquire]

i don't really see the resemblance with your brother, so i think you're safe. it's a tough call, but since you don't have to choose yet, have both!

you came off a long term relationship, where he sorta tried to get himself back in your head by popping up at various locations where you were. so, you're just now truly moving past him (yes, i know there was a boy recently, but he was more transition guy, you know?).

so, enjoy these 2, and worry about relationships later on.

edit: i'm drunk so i just realized he was saying you and your brother have similarities. i thought you meant the 23 year old reminded you of your brother.

[beastieangel01]

so, enjoy these 2, and worry about relationships later on.


indeed! just have fun miss. enjoy yourself. They are hot too. Get someeeee

[HEIRESS]

true true, A good friend told me that he thinks the best thing I could do is to make an early new years resolution to become a "makeout whore" because basically its silly to be like "NO KISSING UNLESS I WANT TO DATE YOU FOR ATLEAST 1+ YEARS"


let the auld lang syne of no making out end now!

[HEIRESS]

oh mannnnn

the dude that got arrested totally showed up during the one guys graveyard shift last night and more craziness occurred

we just called our boss and shes all "Im at the ski resort, I cant be bothered"


WILL THIS SAGA NEVER END!

[skra75]

Holy F that story is freaking banananananas

[HEIRESS]

I wish you could see the bruises!

and last night I was like "wow my head STILL hurts" then I remembered I totally got kicked in the back of the ear during some hotel bed jumping around rough housing that night, YAY FLASHBACKS

[Dorothy Wood]

I wanna go to a hotel scientist party. :(

[HEIRESS]

ohohs, the big boss has showed up

there are closed door meetings occuring

fuuuuuuuuuuuckkkk....

[King PSYZ]

I must know what happens next!

[HEIRESS]

SEVERANCE PAY WAS PASSED THE FUCK OUT WHOO WHOOO
crazy punching dude totally deserved to be fired, but instead he got layed off but with a month of pay first because "my boss felt bad firing someone at xmas"

more reasons she is awesomely ridiculous at times, I got pulled into the meeting for the last half because I have lots and lots of opinions that demand to be shared

and she's all "so airesse, how would you have reacted to being called a "Whore" hmmmm?"

and my reply was "ripped him a new one without resorting to violence of course"

FTW!

oh man, I love my job , I love my coworkers, and I love my freaking insane german boss

!!

[King PSYZ]

INS4N3 G3RM4N5 4TW!

[HEIRESS]

ohhh mans, I just saw the bill for the party, with all the extras such as "shit your employees stole/trashed/threw off balconies" included

22 grand WHUTWHUT

ps. Ive done no work today except take camera phone pictures of the outside of the building to email to a sign making company because we are re-doing our signage

YAY!