so i gotta take a drug test, problem is....

[drizl]

i smoke weed everyday. well, i quit about a week ago knowing i have to take a drug test. i think i will have to take it within the next two weeks. i ahve been drinking lots of water and also taking a few shots a day of braggs raw apple cider vinegar. for some reason, i htink that will work. anyone else have any suggestions??? i dont want to buy that expensive detox shit. and i dont want to have someone else piss for me unless i relapse the night before. please help. thank you.

[Junker]

You junkie!! :D
Don't worry.....you'll pass the test.

























PS: Actually dont believe me ok??

[The Notorious LOL]

just get stoned before the test and empty your bladder all over the toilet seat and explain that you were too stoned to hit the cup. They'll appreciate the honesty and pass you.

[QueenAdrock]

You know, the government can read this website.

Just sayin'.

[Junker]

^^ He's screwed then (n)

[Rock]

My friend would smoke heavily on the weekends and pass his weekly piss test by drinking lots of water and doing a lot of cardio. I think it has something to do with THC being stored in your fat cells and the cardio sort of releasing them so you can sweat and piss them out. It worked like a charm for him for about 6 months. He was kind of chunky too so its not like he was super skinny so it went through him quicker. But I'm no doctor. They have tons of shit at health stores. Just tell them whats up, they can sort of help you.

[Genocide Tulips]

Detox it. Just go and buy one of the kits.

[Rock]

sometimes those things come back inconclusive so you have to take the test again.....it happened to me once.

[drizl]

ok ok now we're getting somewhere...

[Lex Diamonds]

You know, the government can read this website.

Just sayin'.
OMG HE SMOKES WEED! CALL THE FBI! CIA! ORDER AN AIR STRIKE!

[roosta]

I gotta take a whiz test to my P-O
I know I failed cos I done smoked major weed bro,

[Yeti]

I have one word for you-------

Whizinator

[abcdefz]

In The Wire they just buy urine from preschools.

[drizl]

lol

[QueenAdrock]

OMG HE SMOKES WEED! CALL THE FBI! CIA! ORDER AN AIR STRIKE!

OR JUST KEEP AN EYE ON HIS IP ADDRESS AND ITS ACTIVITIES LOLOLOLOL

Big brovah's watchin, yo.

[paul jones]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbHHnj9M9Ag

(y)

[kll]

health food stores and GNC-type stores don't provide the "best" cleanser... it's best to get directly from your friendly neighborhood head shop...

[cookiepuss]

FYI: you can get a "home" drug testing kit at your local drug store. So you can test yourself, before you wreck yourself.;)

[Yeti]

Pot smokers should not have normal jobs. People that smoke weed everyday should do arts and crafts.

[TurdBerglar]

or dogwalking

[Big Gus]

They still do piss tests in the US?

It's all about the hair test these days, and if someone at a party smoked a joint a week ago near you thats you busted.

Piss tests are weaker than "DUI stop tests".

[Bob]

Pot smokers should not have normal jobs. People that smoke weed everyday should do arts and crafts.

or day care...caretakers. i know what you're thinking "I DONT WANT NO JUNKIE ROUND MY KID" but think about it! who on earth could possibly be more qualified to watch over your bratty fucking children than somebody who for the moment has infinite patience and knows nothing but love? not sister fucking elizabeth, that's who

dogwalkers is probably better though

edit: not "your" bratty fucking children....other people's children!

[Big Gus]

Stoners would suck at dogwalking.

Too much exercise...

[Bob]

they could wear rollerskates

[Big Gus]

Fair point... Tree's and "urban foliage" like lamp posts could prove problematic when being towed by 5 dogs on rollerskates though. Especially stoned off your trolley.

[Bob]

it'd be fun to watch though

[Big Gus]

Especially if it was large dogs say, 2 red setters, a great dane, a rottweiller and an especially fat labrador.

It's get 5 stars on youtube for sure.

[TurdBerglar]

Stoners would suck at dogwalking.

Too much exercise...


nah man

they just blow that shit in the dogs' face while sitting on the couch eating a bin of twizzlers. so long hyperactive pooch

[Whatitis]

Pot smokers should not have normal jobs. People that smoke weed everyday should do arts and crafts.


Equal opportunity, man.

[drizl]

i thought about maybe being a dogwalker, and i do arts and crafts...oh no im a pothead!

[monkey]

hahaha. dude... just drink water. lotsa water. talk sobriety to it if you want.

when you start figuring out life plans and goals to include your smoking schedule, you know youre a pothead. i know cause ive done it. :p

[drizl]

i will talk "pass the piss test so i can get this fucking job" to it!

[drizl]

OR JUST KEEP AN EYE ON HIS IP ADDRESS AND ITS ACTIVITIES LOLOLOLOL

Big brovah's watchin, yo.


FUCK "big brovah". and fuck anyone who spends time tracing other peoples web activities.

[Schmeltz]

I would never take a job that required drug testing. Fuck that shit. My employer's rights stop once I'm off the clock; after that my time is my own. I don't owe anybody shit if I'm not getting paid. Once you start letting your job dictate your behaviour after quitting time, you're not much better than a slave.

[QueenAdrock]

I quit smoking back in 2003, and don't plan to again because govt jobs require pee tests/lie detector tests/etc. I don't mind, I didn't do it a lot to begin with. And it's more worth it (to me at least) to have awesome pay and benefits and be assured job security and pension and all of that than to have a little fun on the weekends.

Plus, there's always alcohol!

[Otis Driftwood]

Plus, there's always alcohol!
Yup, I wonder when governments will understand the term "double standard"...

[Yeti]

I would never take a job that required drug testing. Fuck that shit. My employer's rights stop once I'm off the clock; after that my time is my own. I don't owe anybody shit if I'm not getting paid. Once you start letting your job dictate your behaviour after quitting time, you're not much better than a slave.

Do you have political aspirations? VOTE Schmeltz!

[QueenAdrock]

Well, you gotta answer truthfully whether you've ever had a "problem" with alcohol. So though alcohol's okay, you gotta keep yo'self in check still.

But yeah, it can be a double standard...especially since weed has never caused a direct death of an individual from over-consumption. But that's a whole 'nother thing.

[Yeti]

Well, you gotta answer truthfully whether you've ever had a "problem" with alcohol. So though alcohol's okay, you gotta keep yo'self in check still.

But yeah, it can be a double standard...especially since weed has never caused a direct death of an individual from over-consumption. But that's a whole 'nother thing.


This might be true but I know a friend that has smoked his mind. He is a great Frankenstein at Halloween.

[QueenAdrock]

Yeah, another reason why I quit smoking. My brain felt foggy and I just felt DUMB for a few days afterwards. I hated feeling that way mang.

[Dorothy Wood]

you done smoked yo'self retarded.


cordo is getting a special delivery today at work. people in creative fields don't really give too much of a shit about that kind of stuff I guess. although at my work, a girl got fired for going into the store after hours to get high with some other people. actually, if my bosses liked her, they wouldn't have cared...they were just looking for a reason to give her the boot because she was lazy and annoying.

[Yeti]

I used to work with a photographer that would go get high at lunch. You have to love people that feed their addiction during work hours. He was a good photographer but a little slow on the uptake.

[koolBASD]

yoghurt helps
i heard that the orange juice helps 2

[Otis Driftwood]

yoghurt helps

If you put some in your undies... :D

[monkey]

cranberry juice and other shit that cleans out your kidneys. would cosmo know this? cosmo, do you know how to cleanse a kidney? hehe

im think ima go enjoy myself a bit right now. today, im free to be meeee. :D

[Lex Diamonds]

OR JUST KEEP AN EYE ON HIS IP ADDRESS AND ITS ACTIVITIES LOLOLOLOL

Big brovah's watchin, yo.
Wow, Bush got you guys more whipped than Hitler ever did Germany.

[jo-nathan]

just get stoned before the test and empty your bladder all over the toilet seat and explain that you were too stoned to hit the cup. They'll appreciate the honesty and pass you.


LOL

[jo-nathan]

Caveat: You must do the following at least two days BEFORE a test:

1) Stop smoking
2) Take AZO standard or any other otc bladder infection remedy that causes orange discoloration of the urine. These products strip the fatty lining of your bladder (thc binds to fat cells). Take the product as direct one day
3) Drink shit tons of water
4) Supplement with Daily vitamin so your urine doesn't look "washed out"

YOU MUST MAKE SURE UR URINE IS BACK TO NORMAL COLOR BEFORE THE TEST (in case this isn't obvious)

I've taken and passed several tests this way. Even back in the day when I was an all day every day toker

[Genocide Tulips]

100% Cranberry juice is a good way to clean your kidneys. Make sure it isn't cranberry juice cocktail though. That only contains 20+% cranberry juice.

But the best is just spend the money on the detox stuff.

[QueenAdrock]

Wow, Bush got you guys more whipped than Hitler ever did Germany.

Tell me about it. I mean, first potentially monitoring people who talk about illegal drug activity online, the next thing will be sending them off in cattle cars. :(

[Lex Diamonds]

The point I'm making is that they clearly don't monitor people who talk about smoking weed, yet they've got you all so afraid that you don't wanna do it.

[QueenAdrock]

They do monitor what people say, whether or not they'll do something about it is a different story. My point is, I just think it's dumb to talk on a message board about what illegal activities you do, because all of it is catalogued and recorded.

I've known of people who have had their rooms broken into and had their computers searched for child pornography due to an anonymous tip, and then send to jail. If he's ever busted on drug charges and had his computer rifled through, they could definitely use something like this against him.

I just wouldn't do it, but that's me.

[Lex Diamonds]

Yeah, well I've pillaged and raped several villages full of 12 year old boys. I'm also responsible for the murder of JFK and 9/11. And I'm a Muslim.

*flips bird to US government people reading this*

[jo-nathan]

100% Cranberry juice is a good way to clean your kidneys. Make sure it isn't cranberry juice cocktail though. That only contains 20+% cranberry juice.

But the best is just spend the money on the detox stuff.

"Cleaning your kidneys" is not the object. Urine in your bladder has passed the kidneys. It's the fat cells in your bladder that harbor the thc that most tests pick up. Strip the fat...pass the test...leave your kidneys out of it

[drizl]

thanks jo.

i quit smoking about a week ago. i always swore id never go for a job that invades my privacy, and demands that i take a drug test. what i do in my free time is my own business, and so long as i dont get high on the job, what the fuck should they care?

however, this job would be perfect for me at the moment. its part time, flexible and pays decent so i can work on other things and work a second job if necessary in order to get my shit in order. i hope it all works out.

so like i said, i quit smoking a week ago, and i probably wont have to take the test for another 3 weeks. i should be okay without having to strip my bladder of fat right? that sounds dangerous to me. i have a feeling my bladder likes that fat there, and i wouldnt want to do it unless necessary. should i be alright??

i have been drinking lots of water, and shots of raw apple cider vinegar- which i do anyways, regardless of drug test- i just have a glass of wine if i feel the urge to smoke herb.

[Schmeltz]

Good on ya, mang. I haven't smoked since New Year's - it was starting to get too routine, like I spent four months smoking up right after work and being useless for the rest of the night, and it struck me that I could maybe do something more productive. I kind of miss it, but I've surprised myself with reading two novels in less than two weeks (and starting a third this weekend!), plus making huge progress on my Honours paper (1500 words today!), and I kind of like getting reacquainted with my sober mind. So it's all good.

If you've got three more weeks you'll probably be good as long as you keep your system flushed with water and exercise. And if you fail - well shit mang, there's lots of part-time work out there.