At what point do you stop asking?

[QueenAdrock]

I'm sick of calling girlfriends and hearing "I'm hanging out with *enter boyfriend's name here*. Like, on a consistent basis. Unless boyfriend is out of town or busy, which is when they start calling.

So I stopped calling them for a while and then they complain that the reason why they hang out with the boyfriend all the time is because no one calls them, which is just not true. I've just stopped calling because I hate hearing "I'M BUSY LOL" all the time.

Bleh. I miss my friends.

[Tzar]

i have to admit, it shits me when i hear "oh i'm doing this or that with *girlfriend*". you can see her every night of the week - come out with the boys just ONE night, atleast. or the girlfriend will come out with us and feel sick an hour into the night, thus resulting in them two going home early *cough like last night cough*.

i'm venting here over something stupid because i bet these guys are gettin' major sex - which is what i certainly ain't getting of late.

/end vent

[QueenAdrock]

Yeah! BROS BEFORE HOS, MANG!

I just think it's dumb. When Brett visits, I divide time between "our" time and friend time evenly. Private time together every damn minute isn't healthy.

[ScarySquirrel]

I stop pretty early on, man. I don't have time for suckers that don't have time for me. I've seen just as many people be able to balance the whole significant other/friend thing as those that can't... so you know it can be done.

[HEIRESS]

pffffffffft, its always the boys who pass out first

boys dont know how to ride the booze train far into the night, they drink all their stash within the first two hours and then are useless by midnight

fuck that, if im going out to party hearty, I go out with chicks only if I can

[Schmeltz]

Yeah that sucks, but what's even worse is friends who bring their boy/girlfriends over to the party or out to the bar when nobody else in the group likes them. Sometimes you'd rather see neither of them than both of them out together.

[ToucanSpam]

One thing I absolutely hate is when a guy or girl comes to a party and not even halfway through the fun part of the night their significant other decides OOPS I DRANK TOO MUCH IM SICK LOL and both have to leave the party immediately for what they make to be severe medical attention.

Here's a piece of advice: don't bring your fuckin man/woman to a party if you're gonna puss out.

[TurdBerglar]

they're not pussing out their going home to fuck

[afronaut]

Yeah! BROS BEFORE HOS, MANG!

I just think it's dumb. When Brett visits, I divide time between "our" time and friend time evenly. Private time together every damn minute isn't healthy.
I understand what you're getting at with this thread, and agree. However, don't you think it should be different in your situation? I mean, he lives in Canada, and you surely don't get to see him all the time. That leaves plenty of friend time in the huge gap when he is not visiting you. In that short little fraction of your week/month/s when he is in your town, you could probably spend every minute with him, right? Cuz, I mean, you two don't get to see each other very much. And he is taking that time out just for you, visiting you and all.

I'm just saying regular close distance relationships where you have the opportunity to see that person whenever the hell you want, and long distance relationships where you only have certain opportunities to see each other are different like that. Yknow?

[QueenAdrock]

I mean, he lives in Canada, and you surely don't get to see him all the time. That leaves plenty of friend time in the huge gap when he is not visiting you.
No, no, by "friend time" in my statement I mean bringing Brett along. We have "our" time, and then our time with friends. I just don't want a relationship where it's JUST US the whole time. We have plenty of alone time together when we see each other, but we also plan stuff WITH friends when he's here so he can get to know them. I want my friends to get to know him because it's not going to be long-distance forever, and when we eventually get to be together, I want to be friends with his friends and vice versa. We have enough "us" time when he's here; if we didn't feel that way, we'd change it. :)

Which is also why I find it amazing that my girlfriends know and like Brett better than another one of our friend's boyfriends who lives here and has dated my friend for the past 4 months. They're ALWAYS together and not around us; of the few times he has been around, they've had their own private bubble around them and not really talked to anyone.

[paul jones]

I'm sick of calling girlfriends and hearing "I'm hanging out with *enter boyfriend's name here*. Like, on a consistent basis. Unless boyfriend is out of town or busy, which is when they start calling.

So I stopped calling them for a while and then they complain that the reason why they hang out with the boyfriend all the time is because no one calls them, which is just not true. I've just stopped calling because I hate hearing "I'M BUSY LOL" all the time.

Bleh. I miss my friends.

correct...........fuck the lazy shits!. Let THEM come crawling for a change

[tracky]

pffffffffft, its always the boys who pass out first

boys dont know how to ride the booze train far into the night, they drink all their stash within the first two hours and then are useless by midnight

fuck that, if im going out to party hearty, I go out with chicks only if I can


uhum

it's now 6:02pm on sunday afternoon and i started at about 9:00 last night, no sleep no break

...don't know how to ride the booze train smh

[DandyFop]

I totally became "that girl" when I was with my dude...and I hated it but at the same time, I wanted to be with him so bad that I did it anyway. I don't know...it's hard to say, because I've never really dealt with a girlfriend who did that and then I totally turned into her. Blah I miss him. Fucker.

[Deep_Sea_Rain]

I don't really have a set rule as to when I stop calling someone to hang, more just like a feeling. Like an "alright, I'm done" feeling.

A year back or so a friend of mine flaked on me constantly to hang out with his new girl. They broke up eventually, and we were cool again. I only recently told him it bugged me, and he apologized.

Respek'

[hitmonlee]

why don't you make plans in advance?

like ring your friends up and ask what night they are free and you will catch up that night?

if they can't spare a night for you, then they aren't friends.

when i was with my bf if someone would ring me out of the blue and say "hey whatcha doin? wanna go out" i would say no, because i was already doing whatever with my bf. i wouldn't just drop my bf to hang out with my friends when they call. need to know in advance.

[Documad]

It depends on the friend. If it's a long term friend in a fairly new relationship, I give him/her the benefit of the doubt for a long time. We all get wrapped up in a new relationship --especially if it's been a long time since the last good one.

If it's someone who's shown him/herself to be self-centered in other ways, I cut him/her off really fast.

[beastieangel01]

yeah that's pretty obnoxious.

just because one has a significant other doesn't mean you don't hang bother with your friends. At least, it shouldn't. When attached, I end up having nights with just the man, nights with just the friends, and nights where the are combined.

people are silly.

[abcdefz]

What I've done before is -- when it gets to this point -- kind of insist on "hey, we never hang out any more, so let's set a date" sort of thing. And if that turns out to be a no-go or the friend flakes, then I'm done.

[beastiegirrl101]

One of my closest friends just sent out a mass email to all of us saying that she only has time for her boyfriend and school and that if we want to see her it has to be in one hour incriments or on her lunch breaks at work because that's all the time she can give right now.

What the hell is that?

[beastiegirrl101]

and again I say...what kinda crap is that?

I understand she has to do what she has to do with school but what kind of friend dictates to when, what and how long they can spend time with you. I just think it's crap. Friendships are give and take.

[Echewta]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlDVLQYKzMU

[QueenAdrock]

I seriously think that if your boyfriend lived in the same city as you, you'd occasionally pass up a night out with your girlfriends for indian takeout, some playstation games and hot shower sex afterwards. Trust me, you would :p

I had a boyfriend live in the same city as me for nearly 4 years. I passed up the occasional night out, which isn't the same. That's to be expected. It's when it's every goddamn waking moment that they're glued at the hip and can't detach from each other that it gets really obnoxious.

Friends were there first, and if you ditch them or are busy, you should at VERY least say "Hey, sorry...let's figure out another time we can hang out, are you free Tuesday night?" One of my friends does that and it gives me the feeling of "Hey, I'm busy but I *do* care about you and want to make an effort to see you, just like you've been making an effort to see me." It's just two friends who do the whole "Nah, I'm busy. Sorry. Bye!" thing. That gets real irritating real fast.

In other news, I sat down one of my girlfriends and told her what's up and she said she's going to make an effort to hang with her friends more, so we'll see how that goes. (y)

[Documad]

One of my closest friends just sent out a mass email to all of us saying that she only has time for her boyfriend and school and that if we want to see her it has to be in one hour incriments or on her lunch breaks at work because that's all the time she can give right now.

What the hell is that?
There's no good way to spin that. I would have to do a reply all saying "it's been nice knowing you and best of luck in your future endeavors." Or maybe just a ":rolleyes:"

[adam_f]

A couple weeks ago was the first time in quite awhile I was going to hang out with this girl who I don't see much anymore. Might sound corny, but I was kind of excited.

It was like 5:30 and I was getting take out from this restaraunt. I had to wait a bit so i texted her to find out what exactly we were doing.

Her response was "Eh, is it okay if we don't hang out tonight? I'm kind of in a slump"

A fucking slump. You know who can get you out of a slump? The motherfucking _f, goddammit. Honest to God, she didn't have to lie to me. I know she was hanging out with her boyfriend because after I had gotten home from the plans I had to make on super short notice, I texted her again to see how she was. She said she was going to stay home and watch a movie. When I asked her what she watched, she said "I didn't watch anything. I just did this and that" which I took as "I took it in the ass and the mouth"

Pissed me off. Her boyfriend is there all the fucking time and all i wanted was one night to hang out. That's it.

[kll]

when my b/f and i have friends that we mutually like to hang out with, then there's never excuses of "i'm busy"... but, when it comes to friends that my b/f doesn't care for or i don't care to hang with, then the "i'm busy" comes up a lot more often.

[Echewta]

my girlfriend is my mate :confused:

[Lex Diamonds]

they're not pussing out their going home to fuck
At least someone gets it.

My friends are always bitching and moaning like "hey dickwad, your woman is always all 'ooh I feel sick!' and you pussy out and go home!" But then I'm like "bitch please, I'd rather go home and have great sex than hang around with a load of smelly drunken singletons long into the night" and they shut up. (y)

[M.C. Guevera]

Everytime I call my friend, he's with his girlfriend. And that's it. Which means that we can never see each other because of the girlfriend. It seems like he's with her every waking moment of every single day. It pisses me off, because until just recently, we were seeing each other and talking to each other regulary again. And now we're back to this again. Last time he was in a relationship, we ended up not seeing each other for over a year. I don't want that to happen again.

[Lex Diamonds]

Everytime I call my friend, he's with his girlfriend. And that's it. Which means that we can never see each other because of the girlfriend. It seems like he's with her every waking moment of every single day. It pisses me off, because until just recently, we were seeing each other and talking to each other regulary again. And now we're back to this again. Last time he was in a relationship, we ended up not seeing each other for over a year. I don't want that to happen again.
Get a girlfriend then. You should have no problem being the Illest Jew-O-Rican and all. (y)

[beastiegirrl101]

I'm always Natalie before I am Natalie and so-n-so. I never loose my identity in a relationship but unfortunately a lot of the females I know, forget who they are. Why do so many females need a man to define who they are? UGH.

[QueenAdrock]

Why do so many females need a man to define who they are? UGH.
I hear that. One of my good friends wore her varsity swimming jacket 24/7 when she was dating a jock, and wore UFO's when she was dating a raver. She won "Marches to the Beat of her Own Drum" in the senior yearbook because she was just so unique with her blue hair and dog collars, but in reality she was just a spitting image of her boyfriend at the time. You can tell who she's dating by what she wears and how she acts.

<tangent>Which leads me to another thing, why do people think they're being "unique" when they get a piercing or put colors in their hair? My friend got her tongue pierced and I teased her "Oh, it's only because I did it" and she got seriously offended and said "NO! I'm doing this because *I* want it, I'm not copying anybody!" And I was just like "Dude. You obviously saw the piercing on SOMEONE and liked it, because the idea to shove a metal rod through your tongue and then put in a piece of jewelry didn't pop up out of nowhere, ya know."</tangent>

[beastiegirrl101]

it does go both ways but I don’t believe it’s all attributed to love per say. If I had to spend every waking minute of my day with the same person, please shoot me. That's what I'm talking about here...men and women that shut out all of their friends...ALL of them, just to be with eachother, don't you think that's weird? You need a life outside of your relationship, isn't that what attracted them to you in the first place?

not you skye, the universal 'you'.

[Echewta]

The mate thing is confussing to me.

I have friends.

[QueenAdrock]

If I had to spend every waking minute of my day with the same person, please shoot me. That's what I'm talking about here...men and women that shut out all of their friends...ALL of them, just to be with eachother, don't you think that's weird?

Exactly! I'd never want to be with any single person every waking moment of my life. My friends add variety to my life; I have one I can be completely myself around and be completely inappropriate with, one who makes me laugh so hard I cry, one who's a good listener and offers great advice, etc. They all add to my enjoyment, and I love 'em to death. I think a lot of girls think that once they get guys, they no longer need the friends anymore because the guy encompasses all these qualities. I tend to think my friends were there before him, they're great people, and they're still an integral part to my well-being, so I still make an effort to see them whenever I can.

[Echewta]

oh brother.