Child rearing the scally way

[Freebasser]

So I saw two teenage girls today with baby in tow, and they were rocking the baby's pram and saying "Taylor, Taylor" trying to get it to answer, when some asian guy comes walking up with a little girl in a pram and says "Excuse me? Did you say her name was Layla?" and one of the girls says "nor, 'is nehme's Tayluh"! to which the guy says, "Oh, i see. My little girl's called Layla. Bye"

The guy walks off and I hear the girls saying "Stoopid black prick, can't 'e, evun tell 'es a boyh?" Then the baby says, "Daddy, Daddy" and the baby's mum says, "nor, luv. It's Paki, Paki!"

Suffice to say that I spat my proverbial coffee all over my copy of "Shocked Witness Monthly". That's a child with a future! (y)

[na§tee]

i'm surprised they weren't feeding it coca-cola in a bottle and naming it beyonce, myself.

[Freebasser]

Taylor is still a pretty shit name though.

[na§tee]

shut up! taylor is a nice name. taylor hanson, man; do you have no respect?

here lots of girl neds are named senga. well, collectively girl neds are called senga. know why? in the 50s and 60s when cool kids were inheriting naff names from the war era still like agnes and deirdre and what not, some flipped-reversed (as blazin' squad would say) agnes and made it senga (and hence 'cooler') instead. and since only a 'certain group' of people did this, it sorta stuck.

female glasgow neds: sengas. that's your listen for today kids.

[Freebasser]

Haha, I can see it now... Senga Megadrythe

[Nivvie]

There was a baby called Metallica at a hospital I was working in once.
The nurse in charge of my ward said 'Ooh, that's unusal, but quite.'
Needless to say she was unaware of the band.

Right now I'm getting angry about parents giving kids those awful chemical mini bottles of drink that have twist off lids and a tiny hole at the top.

[Junker]

My mom had a student called Ericlapton. This way. Ericlapton.

I lol everytime i read his name.

[Yeti]

So I saw two teenage girls today with baby in tow, and they were rocking the baby's pram and saying "Taylor, Taylor" trying to get it to answer, when some asian guy comes walking up with a little girl in a pram and says "Excuse me? Did you say her name was Layla?" and one of the girls says "nor, 'is nehme's Tayluh"! to which the guy says, "Oh, i see. My little girl's called Layla. Bye"

The guy walks off and I hear the girls saying "Stoopid black prick, can't 'e, evun tell 'es a boyh?" Then the baby says, "Daddy, Daddy" and the baby's mum says, "nor, luv. It's Paki, Paki!"

Suffice to say that I spat my proverbial coffee all over my copy of "Shocked Witness Monthly". That's a child with a future! (y)

You Brits and your pig latin.

[QueenAdrock]

Didn't a board member here name their kid Adrock? I couldn't tell if it was a joke or not, but it was in the Awesome Parenting Skillz thread.

Upon further inspection, it's not a joke. (http://www.beastieboys.com/bbs/showpost.php?p=1391849&postcount=163) :(

[Echewta]

Yea seriously. I know this thread is in English but I dont get it.

[paul jones]

So I saw two teenage girls today with baby in tow, and they were rocking the baby's pram and saying "Taylor, Taylor" trying to get it to answer, when some asian guy comes walking up with a little girl in a pram and says "Excuse me? Did you say her name was Layla?" and one of the girls says "nor, 'is nehme's Tayluh"! to which the guy says, "Oh, i see. My little girl's called Layla. Bye"

The guy walks off and I hear the girls saying "Stoopid black prick, can't 'e, evun tell 'es a boyh?" Then the baby says, "Daddy, Daddy" and the baby's mum says, "nor, luv. It's Paki, Paki!"

Suffice to say that I spat my proverbial coffee all over my copy of "Shocked Witness Monthly". That's a child with a future! (y)
The End of the world is upon us all(y)

[Freebasser]

Yea seriously. I know this thread is in English but I dont get it.

I have to put what they said in their rough as fuck accents or they won't sound as stupid as they actually were. Would ju like me to type it out again in American English for ju? Ok, here goes...

NFL HARDCORE EXTREME AWESOME TO THE MAX PRO-GAIN MOTHERFUCKER ASSHOLE SNAKES ON A PLANE BASEBALL COORS BAGEL WRESTLING BUTTFUCKING DUDE WISCONSIN!

That's the gist of it.

[Yeti]

NFL and bagel are the only 2 words that need capital letters for emphasis.

[Yorkshire~Rose]

I have to put what they said in their rough as fuck accents or they won't sound as stupid as they actually were. Would ju like me to type it out again in American English for ju? Ok, here goes...

NFL HARDCORE EXTREME AWESOME TO THE MAX PRO-GAIN MOTHERFUCKER ASSHOLE SNAKES ON A PLANE BASEBALL COORS BAGEL WRESTLING BUTTFUCKING DUDE WISCONSIN!

That's the gist of it.

Congrats. You just made me cry with laughter.