i cant stop crying, and im at work

[monkey]

the situation: my 2 year old laptop's hard drive died 2 weeks ago. i took it to the apple store about 20 minutes before it died forever, so they were able to save a little bit of my shit on a disk. the laptop got fixed, everything is peachy. yesterday, i get that disk fedex'd to me and i just started looking through it.

in the disk, i found a 'letter' that my exbf wrote to me, or about me, around june of last year. it is just about the most heartbreaking thing to read. i mean, the file is called "i love paulina". i had never seen it before, it was saved in a random junk folder i had set up for junky shit i downloaded. so basically, i just read a love letter written to me in june by the boyfriend who later broke my heart into a million little pieces.

i dont know what to do. i dont know how to react really. i cant stop crying and i dont even know why.

[na§tee]

:(, babes.

don't be embarassed. i've cried at work/school/uni/on public transport a good few times. i'm good at the crying silently shit. i do it over far lamer things though.

hey, you had that time together, he loved you a lot, then he fucked it up. his loss. you're crying because all this junk is rushing back when you seem to have been finding your happy lately. don't let it set you back, p. big hugs.

[hpdrifter]

It opened an old wound. Can you go into the bathroom for a few minutes? At my work there are a couple of private places you can go. I think trying to make it stop will only make it worse. Go somewhere private, cry it out, and go back to work when your eyes have resumed their normal color.

[QueenAdrock]

I cried in front of my entire speech class when I was 20, because I had a major panic attack. That was bad. They just stared. So yeah, it could be worse.

Take a break, sweetie. Go to the bathroom and get a drink of water or something, regain composure, and come back.

Sometimes you can think you're over someone and you're convinced of it and have moved on, but then something comes out of nowhere and you can have a bad reaction. It happens. Breakups are hard, long ordeals, and sometimes you have to deal with setbacks. It doesn't mean you've relapsed, it just means that you still have some crap lingering that you have to take care of. Breakups to me remind me of a cut, it hurts to begin with, but it heals overtime. And sometimes, you can accidentally catch it on something and it'll open up and start bleeding again. It'll heal over and scar eventually, never forgotten, but not a problem anymore.

Gross, but true. Stay strong. :)

[cookiepuss]

*buys Pauli a chocolate doughnut*

:( *hugs*

[beastiegirrl101]

I cried in front of my entire speech class when I was 20, because I had a major panic attack. That was bad. They just stared. So yeah, it could be worse.

I hated speech class! Which is rather interesting because I am the opposite of shy and I am at my best in a room full of people, but speech classes, always a panic attack.

Pauli...I'm sorry, I run across old "boyfriend boxs" all the time tucked away in my closet and I try not to go through them, and always do and end up balling.

[g-mile7]

Just know that dude lost a good one. From the bit of info I gathered, he should be tha one cryin'...4 there are guys who'd kill 2 be with U for even if for a month. Shoot I would but course thats me talkin' ;)

[monkey]

thankyou for the lovely words. as it happened, i was alone at that moment. but about 5 minutes later, one of my coworkers came in and saw me bawling, and she just basically hugged the crap out of me and pep talked me into not feeling so sad. it didnt really work, ive spend the greater part of the day wishing for him to be part of my life again.

it's so stupid. i know. my friend says that even though it's been 5 months since we broke up, it's only been a month and a half since we actually stopped seeing each other and being intricately involved so everything is still really painful and all of that.

god, i hate feeling like this. thanks for letting me vent.

[Drederick Tatum]

well, just be thankful you're not in a WWI trench.

[skra75]

I can punch you in the arm really hard and offer you a shot of cheap booze, would that help?

(lb)