My first boy thread

[beastiegirrl101]

And hopefully my only...I'm usually not this dumb about boys.

Bare with me.

Got out of a semi serious relationship in July which dragged on till late November until I finally cut things off. I should mention this was a long distance relationship and that wasn't the reason for the break up, just didn't see eye to eye on some things.

Fast forward to January, an olf BF and I get in touch (we ended on great terms he's prob the only bf I still keep in touch with) we've been chatting and hanging out a lot, all very casual but really really nice.

So I go to the Bahamas and all I can think about is this old bf...like all the time and how we both have changed so much and how I really think I'm at a point in my life where I'm ready to maybe go for round two with him. I had it set in my head that when I got home, I would tell him how I felt and we would go from there.

So the last night of the trip (Saturday) I meet someone really amazing. He walked me back to my hotel after the bars closed was a perfect gentleman, told me he wanted to see me before I left tomorrow he gave me his room number / hotel info and told me to call him in the morning because my girls had an early flight but I had some time to kill because my plane wasn't till later. So I wake up, say ciao to the ladies and I'm sitting in the room hemming and hawing about if I should call this guy, will he think I'm a stalker? will he even remember me? So I decided on no because I wanted to leave it where it was, just an awesome end to my trip....so I continue to pack when there is a knock on the door...thinking its the cleaning ladies I rush to the door to yell, " I have an hour till check out!" and it's him. I must have told him my room number and didn't remember but he came back, found out later he SET HIS ALARM to be up in time to see me before I left.

We spent the afternoon together, walked around, had drinks/ lunch....he saw me off to the airport, we exchanged info and said we'd keep in touch. I get to the air port and all flights into Chicago have been canceled due to the weather here and the earliest they can get me out is Tuesday. Since it was an 'act of god' they won't put me up in a hotel and I can't sleep at the air port, my girls are already gone and cell phones don't work in the Bahamas. (don't ever fly American) So here's lil ole me freaking out because I seriously don't know what to do, then light bulb goes on....call the boy. Call him...he's like come stay with us.

To make a long story short...spent the next 2 days with him which was nothing short of amazing. So here's my dilemma...I've been home for over 2 weeks now and cannot stop thinking about him. I feel really bad about my ex because here I was thinking about him the whole time up until I meet this other dude. I guess its not so much the other guy but that I am able to feel a certain way about someone else when I was so hell bent on working things out with him when I got home. Maybe that's a sign?

We said a lot of things to each other during those four days, granted we were in the middle of paradise and that could have been it, but it all made a lot of sense to me. Do people say things to each other when they know they are never going to see them again? Do I need to be realistic about this situation and just see it for what it was an awesome weekend with and awesome dude? His job just moved him to Hawaii two months ago and after my last long distance relationship I said never again. Not to mention Hawaii is a lot further than NJ. I have seen the ex since I have been home and it's all been nice and good, just can't get this other guy out of my head.

Why is it I couldn't move to NJ but if this guy were to call me and be like...move to Hawaii...in a heartbeat I'd go. I'm so confused about all these feelings...and trying to separate if it was just some whirlwind weekend or the real deal. Is it possible?

...got into work today, and there was an email from him.

PS
and NO...he got no sex.

[Waus]

Sounds exciting!

[avignon]

You should see him again where you live, then you'll know whether it was the atmosphere or not. Plus, you should definitely have sex with him. I mean, if you had and it was not great, would you be pining away after him now?

[Dorothy Wood]

I'd take Hawaii over jersey any day!

is the ex you're talking about the one I met?


vacation romances are tricky. I don't really have much advice about that. but I do know some people who moved to hawaii and lived there for a couple of years and liked it, but came back to the mainland. if you're up for a change, there are worse places to live.

[beastiegirrl101]

Yes it is the ex you met.

Well he's not asking me to move, we've exchanged some friendly emails but I think he thinks we both have this understanding that it was just a really insane time. I want to tell him, "hey I know this sounds crazy but. . . ."

I just dont know if it's a hey whenever I'm in Chicago I'll see you and if you're ever in Hawaii look me up sorta thing, or if I should be like dude, is there anything here?

ew, I'm being that girl and I hate that girl!

where's kll? She always slaps me around.

[cookiepuss]

well this might be stupid but heh...I say move to hawaii! Shit if it don't work out with the guy then well at least you're in fucking hawaii! it's not like the guy lives in bumfuck idaho and you'd be stuck living somewhere crappy.

[abcdefz]

He... told me he wanted to see me before I left tomorrow he gave me his room number / hotel info and told me to call him in the morning.... So I wake up, say ciao to the ladies and I'm sitting in the room hemming and hawing about if I should call this guy, will he think I'm a stalker? will he even remember me?



Sorry, but that sort of behavior is maddening.

[kll]

haha. i'm here!

i would say that you were thinking about the ex because there wasn't anyone else to think about and you'd been hanging out with him up until the trip. obviously he wasn't "it", otherwise you'd not be feeling this way about the new guy. ex was the "because there's no one else" guy.

hawaii is a long-ass LDR. i'd see how the next few weeks go with this guy - via phone, email, whatever and wait and see...

[beastiegirrl101]

Sorry, but that sort of behavior is maddening.

like steve?

[kll]

well this might be stupid but heh...I say move to hawaii! Shit if it don't work out with the guy then well at least you're in fucking hawaii! it's not like the guy lives in bumfuck idaho and you'd be stuck living somewhere crappy.


i would think moving to hawaii this quickly would be kinda creepy

[beastiegirrl101]

hawaii is a long-ass LDR. i'd see how the next few weeks go with this guy - via phone, email, whatever and wait and see...

couples like avignon and synch give me hope!

[kll]

couples like avignon and synch give me hope!


absolutely.

the communication factor will be key. if you have hours and weeks worth of shit to talk about, which is the only thing you can do being so far away, then it'll work itself out...

if he's not the communicator-type, then it's gonna die out anyways...

[abcdefz]

like steve?


I don't know who Steve is.

I'm talking about this:

"I want to see you" somehow gets translated as "He doesn't want to see me and he'll think I'm stalking him."

It drives me nuts when women project their shit onto men.

[beastiegirrl101]

I don't know who Steve is.

I'm talking about this:

"I want to see you" somehow gets translated as "He doesn't want to see me and he'll think I'm stalking him."

It drives me nuts when women project their shit onto men.

well, there was a lot of booze involved...that's why I said that.

[abcdefz]

All right, I'll drop it.

[cookiepuss]

I just dont know if it's a hey whenever I'm in Chicago I'll see you and if you're ever in Hawaii look me up sorta thing, or if I should be like dude, is there anything here?



see that's tricky. I had a four year relatinship with a Canadian guy that was sort of like that. he met me on one of his business trips out here, and he'd be out here every few months. we write these amazing emails to eachother, it was so hot and when we did get together it was perfect. like a fucking movie. But then again when you only get to spend 48 hours with a person, well it's pretty hard to get annoyed or sick of someone, esp if there's good sex involved.

at anyrate, I knew he'd never move here, he loved Canada too much. And he never said hey babe why don't you come to the great white North. So I didn't think he could be all that serious about me. and I adorded him, still do, but I continued to date others because he wasn't around.

When I met my current BF and things started to get more serious with him I realized I had to let my Canadian know that our romance needed to end. and much to my surprise he was devistated. Somehow he never saw it coming. I was a little dissapointed and unsympathic...I really felt he'd had plenty of time to make something real out of our relationship and that now that he couldn't have me he was realizing how important I really was to him. It got to the point where he couldn't even maintain friendship with me because talking to me was too hard. and that has been very sad for me. he's awesome and funny and I really valued his friendship above the sex.

I'm actually really happy with my BF and that I choose him over some long distance pipe dream....however that is not to say I don't have regrets or wonder if I had had the balls to say hey I'm coming to canada what are you gonna do now...what would have happened. would we have burned out like some couples do or would things have been as harmonious as the adventures we had. I'll never know for sure, and I'm sure that's something I'll wonder about for the rest of my life no matter who I love from here on out.

****so that's some food for thought. not advice really, but something to think about.

[beastiegirrl101]

All right, I'll drop it.

It's cool. I totally respect your opinion, you always have sound advice.

[Dorothy Wood]

when we met your ex, cort said, "it seems like he still likes her".

so, yeah, I don't mean to be confusing or anything. I think maybe just listen to kll :o

I take it my doofus friend hasn't asked you on a date then?

[kll]

I just dont know if it's a hey whenever I'm in Chicago I'll see you and if you're ever in Hawaii look me up sorta thing, or if I should be like dude, is there anything here?


I'm sure he doesn't know this either. Yet.

[cookiepuss]

i would think moving to hawaii this quickly would be kinda creepy


yeah at this point it does, I didn't really mean right away or anything. but if you read my super long ass post about a situation I was in it might make more sense....I was thinking along the lines of taking chaces and not having regrets ..but then again that's not always the best advice.

[beastiegirrl101]

I had to let my Canadian know that our romance needed to end. and much to my surprise he was devistated. Somehow he never saw it coming.

in my experience men usually have no clue what's up until you tell them. So maybe my hottie just has no clue. Damn that kll...she always hits the spot, yea I'll see where it goes and take it from there.

Sarks...yea a lot of people that night kept asking if he was my bf. We had a really close relationship when we dated so we really don't know how to be around each other as just "friends"

Your friend is a sweetie but he continues to send me these lengthy emails about absolutly nothing...and there has been no digit exchange.

PS
I was able to open the tricky door at your work!

[kll]

yeah at this point it does, I didn't really mean right away or anything. but if you read my super long ass post about a situation I was in it might make more sense....I was thinking along the lines of taking chaces and not having regrets ..but then again that's not always the best advice.

i read your post and i fully agree. as everyone knows, my 2-year long distance relationship turned into a live-in situation. the visits before the live-in situation were always great - the honeymoon phase and it's really hard to gauge how "real life" will be... since nata is at a transitional part in her life as it is, with quitting her job, etc., it's worth exploring...

[Dorothy Wood]

Your friend is a sweetie but he continues to send me these lengthy emails about absolutly nothing...and there has been no digit exchange.

PS
I was able to open the tricky door at your work!


oh, what a dillweed! I told him to ask you on a date. oh well, forget him then. that's ridiculous. ha. I think he thinks you don't like him or something. blah. boys.

good work on the door!

[g-mile7]

I don't know who Steve is.

I'm talking about this:

"I want to see you" somehow gets translated as "He doesn't want to see me and he'll think I'm stalking him."

It drives me nuts when women project their shit onto men.
I agree. Nat you should just see what can be with Prince Charming who swept you off your feet. After all, you tried out your ex once and its obvious it didnt work given his title as "ex". Not a hard decision in my view.

[abcdefz]

Yeah. You can be trusting but not willfully naive.

[mikizee]

Sounds like a movie I've seen!

[Echewta]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGKQhumRvlI

[Jitters]

well, there was a lot of booze involved...that's why I said that.

I wouldn't be making any decisions about something like this if the Devil's Mouthwash was involved.

[GreenEarthAl]

Invite the ex to move with you to Hawaii.

[Justin]

And hopefully my only...I'm usually not this dumb about boys.

Bare with me.

Got out of a semi serious relationship in July which dragged on till late November until I finally cut things off. I should mention this was a long distance relationship and that wasn't the reason for the break up, just didn't see eye to eye on some things.

Fast forward to January, an olf BF and I get in touch (we ended on great terms he's prob the only bf I still keep in touch with) we've been chatting and hanging out a lot, all very casual but really really nice.

So I go to the Bahamas and all I can think about is this old bf...like all the time and how we both have changed so much and how I really think I'm at a point in my life where I'm ready to maybe go for round two with him. I had it set in my head that when I got home, I would tell him how I felt and we would go from there.

So the last night of the trip (Saturday) I meet someone really amazing. He walked me back to my hotel after the bars closed was a perfect gentleman, told me he wanted to see me before I left tomorrow he gave me his room number / hotel info and told me to call him in the morning because my girls had an early flight but I had some time to kill because my plane wasn't till later. So I wake up, say ciao to the ladies and I'm sitting in the room hemming and hawing about if I should call this guy, will he think I'm a stalker? will he even remember me? So I decided on no because I wanted to leave it where it was, just an awesome end to my trip....so I continue to pack when there is a knock on the door...thinking its the cleaning ladies I rush to the door to yell, " I have an hour till check out!" and it's him. I must have told him my room number and didn't remember but he came back, found out later he SET HIS ALARM to be up in time to see me before I left.

We spent the afternoon together, walked around, had drinks/ lunch....he saw me off to the airport, we exchanged info and said we'd keep in touch. I get to the air port and all flights into Chicago have been canceled due to the weather here and the earliest they can get me out is Tuesday. Since it was an 'act of god' they won't put me up in a hotel and I can't sleep at the air port, my girls are already gone and cell phones don't work in the Bahamas. (don't ever fly American) So here's lil ole me freaking out because I seriously don't know what to do, then light bulb goes on....call the boy. Call him...he's like come stay with us.

To make a long story short...spent the next 2 days with him which was nothing short of amazing. So here's my dilemma...I've been home for over 2 weeks now and cannot stop thinking about him. I feel really bad about my ex because here I was thinking about him the whole time up until I meet this other dude. I guess its not so much the other guy but that I am able to feel a certain way about someone else when I was so hell bent on working things out with him when I got home. Maybe that's a sign?

We said a lot of things to each other during those four days, granted we were in the middle of paradise and that could have been it, but it all made a lot of sense to me. Do people say things to each other when they know they are never going to see them again? Do I need to be realistic about this situation and just see it for what it was an awesome weekend with and awesome dude? His job just moved him to Hawaii two months ago and after my last long distance relationship I said never again. Not to mention Hawaii is a lot further than NJ. I have seen the ex since I have been home and it's all been nice and good, just can't get this other guy out of my head.

Why is it I couldn't move to NJ but if this guy were to call me and be like...move to Hawaii...in a heartbeat I'd go. I'm so confused about all these feelings...and trying to separate if it was just some whirlwind weekend or the real deal. Is it possible?

...got into work today, and there was an email from him.

PS
and NO...he got no sex.


That could be a movie script.

[bigblu89]

All vacation hookups should remain vacation hookups.

I always thought that's why single people go on vacation, to have no-strings-attached hookups?

[hpdrifter]

Ahh, what a problem to have, you slammin' hot mami.

I actually had a similar problem once too. I had a hookup in Lake Tahoe and the guy wanted to stay in touch. So when we went back to our respective towns (he was in Texas). We kept in touch via email and phone for several months. We were talking about coming out to see each other. Then I met the man who I eventually got engaged to and I had to tell him it wasn't going to go any further. Its a different situation, but I thought I'd share anyway.

I'd say if your attention could be so completely deterred from the ex by the new guy so quickly, you're more into the new guy.

[beastiegirrl101]

All vacation hookups should remain vacation hookups.

I always thought that's why single people go on vacation, to have no-strings-attached hookups?

that's not why I go on vaca. I just wanted to be on a beach in February!