i have a massive nosebleed

[TurdBerglar]

i have tissues stuffed up my nose and im spitting up the most disgusting bloodclots larger than pingpong balls into dixie cups

[Drederick Tatum]

that'll be 'cause of the excessive masturbation.

[TurdBerglar]

how could that ever be excessive

[b i o n i c]

print this post three or four times, cut it up and stick up there.. try changing the fonts to white first

[mikizee]

tip your head right back so u can feel the blood dripping into your lungs, then very carefully tip some salt into your nostril. followed by some vinegar.

that should fix it right up.

[Lex Diamonds]

Snort a huge line of ground parmesan cheese. You'll be right as rain. (y)

Either that of you'll be sneezing out huge pieces of orange lumpy shit, haha.

[camo]

One tampon per nostril should sort it out.

Bloodclot

[monkey]

i had a random nosebleed last week or two weeks ago or some shit like that. squeeze the soft part of your nose (with tissues to catch the blood) and tilt your head forward, keeping your head above your heart (dont lay down, do this sitting.) you dont want the blood to travel back into your throat or lungs. tilting the head back is conducive to that.

[Otis Driftwood]

Two consecutive, simultaneous karate chops to your forehead and the back of the neck should stop the bloodflow.

[skra75]

Stop doing so much coke brah :(

[TurdBerglar]

well it stopped then i went to bed but i woke up with my pillow crusted to my face and blood everywhere. dried up blood kinda looks like dried of diahrea

[abcdefz]

Do you get all moody at these times, too?

[mp-seventythree]

One might ask why you were on the internet if you had such a bad nosebleed.

I don't really care, I guess nosebleeds could be quite boring and you could use the distraction.

[abcdefz]

It's funny sometimes what people will hop online to report.

"A small propane explosion blew off all my fingers ouch LOL!!!"

[mp-seventythree]

:D
I seem to remember doing that after I crashed my mountain bike

[abcdefz]

The post-coital ones are funny, too. Makes me want to scream at the screen to get the fuck off the internet and go have some quality spoon time.

[Lex Diamonds]

The post-coital ones are funny, too. Makes me want to scream at the screen to get the fuck off the internet and go have some quality spoon time.
My girlfriend usually leaves straight after sex unless it's a weekend, cuz her parents think she's been at college. ;)

[abcdefz]

My girlfriend usually leaves straight after sex unless it's a weekend, cuz her parents think she's been at college. ;)



That's what she tells you.

The cold truth is, she's gotten what she wanted and your breath smells funny.

[Schmeltz]

The cold truth is, she's gotten what she wanted


What makes you think that?

[abcdefz]

I was just busting his chops.

[Lyman Zerga]

well it stopped then i went to bed but i woke up with my pillow crusted to my face and blood everywhere. dried up blood kinda looks like dried of diahrea

lol


i never had nosebleeding

[QueenAdrock]

The post-coital ones are funny, too. Makes me want to scream at the screen to get the fuck off the internet and go have some quality spoon time.

Or quality sammich time.

[TurdBerglar]

One might ask why you were on the internet if you had such a bad nosebleed.

I don't really care, I guess nosebleeds could be quite boring and you could use the distraction.


what should i have done? watch tv instead?

[ericlee]

so did you fold the tissue before putting it up your nose or crumple it?

[ggirlballa]

i never had nosebleeding

same here


"vagina bleed" lol

[abcdefz]

Or quality sammich time.



Or lay back and smoke a cigarette time.