how to hypnotize a chicken

[TurdBerglar]

A chicken can be hypnotized, or put into a trance, by holding its head down against the ground, and continuously drawing a line along the ground with a stick or a finger, starting at its beak and extending straight outward in front of the chicken. If the chicken is hypnotized in this manner, it will remain immobile for somewhere between 15 seconds and 30 minutes, continuing to stare at the line.

This technique is useful for farmers who need to slaughter a chicken and do not have help immediately available. It is also useful in feeding large pet reptiles who are too slow to catch a moving chicken.

The first known written reference for this method came in 1646, in Mirabile Experimentum de Imaginatione Gallinae by Athanasius Kircher.

Another technique of hypnosis is to hold the chicken face up with his/her back on the ground, and then run your finger vertically downwards from the chicken's wattles to just above its vent. The chicken's feet are exposed, which allows easy application of medication for foot mites, etc. To wake up the chicken, clap your hands or give the chicken a gentle shove.

One can also hypnotize a chicken by mimicking how it sleeps - with its head under its wing. In this method, you hold the bird firmly, placing its head under its wing, then, gently rock the chicken back and forth and set it very carefully on the ground. It should stay in the same position for about 30 seconds.

[b i o n i c]

where the hell did you learn to do this and have you done it? (i always wanted to know how and if it was real)


how do you hypnotize chicken head bitches?

[TurdBerglar]

with a cock? HAR HAR

[Lyman Zerga]

or just slaughter it

[Yeti]

This technique is useful for farmers who need to slaughter a chicken and do not have help immediately available.

A little known fact about my life. My father is a retired corporate veterinarian for a poultry company. I used to go on his rounds to chicken and turkey farms when I was a kid. His job was strange because he would make sure the poultry was healthy enough to kill. We would go in a chicken house with thousands of birds and when you walked in the house they would move out of your way then all the chickens would follow you as you walk. It was very strange. Thousands of chickens walking behind you and if you stopped they stopped. They would also get scared during thunderstorms and huddle in a corner of the house. Some would get smothered. I saw some bad things. My Pops would have to find out why birds were dying. He would have to kill a live bird to see if it had symptoms of a dead bird. He never had a problem grabbing a chicken by the neck and in one motion he would swing it in circles until it's neck was broken. It would flop around and sometimes the head would just snap off in his hand. I used to work at a processing plant hanging turkeys by their feet on the conveyor on their way to a beheading. I have a very hard time eating chicken or turkey to this day.
I have seen someone hypnotize a chicken and I am not proud of it. I have never seen a farmer hypnotize a chicken to catch it. I would work on the poultry farms. I would picks eggs and shovel the shit out of the houses.The worst was when we would have to gather thousands of chickens and turkeys and put them in the trucks for a trip to the processing plant. I could grab five turkeys in each hand. I would sweep their legs and put them between each finger. Talk about a nasty job and a workout. Slinging turkeys for 8 hours was crazy. I do not talk much about my turkey and chicken farm days in High School because it was a filthy nasty job.

[Schmeltz]

Do the chickens have large talons?

[ericlee]

Just choke the damn things