BBMB Knightmare Adventure

[Big Gus]

http://www.ukgameshows.com/page/images/thumb/3/37/Knightmare_treguardpickle.jpg/300px-Knightmare_treguardpickle.jpg

"Welcome team! I am Tregard, and this is Pickle. I don't know what he does, but you have been brought here for a more specific purpose...you must aid me in my quest."

"Having waited several years for a new series of Knightmare to be commissioned without result, I have finally exhausted my coffers of gold that children unwittingly sat upon, whilst their friends ventured for bread in the dungeons of Lord Fear. Ha ha ha, those piteous fools!"

"Now you must find me new gold, for if you do not, my rage shall be more furious than even my intimidating beard might suggest! Go forth, and find for me the ultimate treasure!"

"Your most powerful weapon in this quest shall be the Power of Google, with which you must summon the next location in your journey. Once one location has been found, the dicoverer must describe its landscape, giving suggestions as to the next adventurer's course of action. You may not use the Power of Google twice in a row; it will only work if somebody else has progressed past your landscape!"


http://users.pandora.be/vertaling/entrance.jpg

You are standing in the entrance to a stone corridor. The far end, just in sight, spills over with a compelling light from an unknown westerly source. Several archways on the right side of the corridor are filled with sunlight, cooled by the aged stone walls. Set in the floor ahead of you is a black panel of unknown purpose.

Do you:

a) Follow the mysterious light into the corridor?
b) Exit into sunlight through an archway?
c) Investigate the black panel?

[synch]

c)

[Big Gus]

"Your most powerful weapon in this quest shall be the Power of Google, with which you must summon the next location in your journey. Once one location has been found, the dicoverer must describe its landscape, giving suggestions as to the next adventurer's course of action. You may not use the Power of Google twice in a row; it will only work if somebody else has progressed past your landscape!"


That means you put the picture up

[synch]

That means you put the picture up
Ah :D

I thought you'd give me some sort of quest next that I had to solve with google.

Should have read properly :o

[roosta]

aha! Knightmare \o/

used to love it...all day Friday at school you'd be thinking bout getting home to watch it. Legend.

[synch]

You push the panel and the light turns on behind you. You turn around and notice a trap door.

http://www.darrian.dds.nl/bb/trapdoor.jpg

What do you do?

a) Turn around and follow the mysterious light into the corridor?
b) Exit into sunlight through the archway?
c) Go down the stairs through the trap door?

[Big Gus]

B - I exit into sunlight through the archway.

http://www.jamesmdeem.com/chinonbath.jpg

You emerge through the light of the archway. You squint your eyes at the sunlight. You walk out onto a long parapet. There is a keep at the end, and a small child is standing around, it is crying and looks scared. You are not sure of the childs gender at present.

Do you:

1) Talk to the child

2) Walk along the parapet into the keep

3) Go back through the archway. Into the dark.

[Beckalina]

1) Talk to the child
http://www.worldrevolution.org/projects/webguide/images/CatPics/ChildSoldierThailand.jpg

The child begins to shout at you in a language you don't understand.

1) run like a motherbitch back into the archway and into the dark.

2) try to talk to child and risk losing your face.

3) blap the child up.

[Teh]

3) Blap the child up

The child, having consulted urbandictionary.com and now terrified at the thought of being blapped up (specifically in the face), gets his dad on you:

http://www.myspacecomedy.com/images/funny/scary-dude.jpg

Do you:

a) squeeze those fucking lemons into his eyes and kick him in the junk,

b) run back to the arch like you should've done, you fudd,

c) start packin' heat and kick this guys fat ass sukka!

[Knuckles]

a) squeeze those fucking lemons into his eyes and kick him in the junk

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v482/chickencow/dungeon.jpg

Unfortunately the kick to the junk only results in getting your foot stuck in his manly camel toe.

He grabs your ankle and drags you down through the trap door where you find yourself in a dungeon. It looks as though he's got some plans for kinky lovin'. What do you do?


a) bend over and hope for the best

b) throw that greasy cheesburger you have in your napsack at him and run for it

c) pm Minton and TPK to ban him

[Lyman Zerga]

hahahahhahhaaa



sorry go on
.
.
.

[beastieangel01]

ahahaha

I really used to be obsessed with the make your own adventure books. :o

[Freebasser]

Knightmare was alright until the walls turned into faces and started talking and creeping me out.

http://www.knightmare.com/series/2/10.jpg

No child needs that in their life (n)

[Dorothy Wood]

KNIGHTMARE.COM DOTH NOT ALLOW YE TO HOTLINK!!!!!!

[Dorothy Wood]

a) squeeze those fucking lemons into his eyes and kick him in the junk

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v482/chickencow/dungeon.jpg

Unfortunately the kick to the junk only results in getting your foot stuck in his manly camel toe.

He grabs your ankle and drags you down through the trap door where you find yourself in a dungeon. It looks as though he's got some plans for kinky lovin'. What do you do?


a) bend over and hope for the best

b) throw that greasy cheesburger you have in your napsack at him and run for it

c) pm Minton and TPK to ban him



b)run for it

http://www.caverun.org/images/cave_run_lake_pic6.jpg

you reach a clearing and come to a lake.

do you

A] head into the forest

B] cross the lake

C] kill yourself

[Big Gus]

You try to b) - Cross the lake

It's a big lake, you realise you'll have to make some sort of impromptu raft for the journey. On looking in a nearby area of tree's, you find this partially made canoe.

http://www.anthroarcheart.org/grfx/b9f.JPG

There is also a large axe lying nearby - it's probably been used to make this lake going craft. There's a smell of cat urine in the air. And a nearby area of bush and scrub is being rustled by a large human or creature.

Do you:

a. get in canoe and paddle over lake

b. Pick up large axe

c. Go back to clearing and head into forest

[synch]

a. get in canoe and paddle over lake

You push the canoe into the water and get into it. As you start to drift you realise you don't have a paddle.

As you start to slightly panic the stench of cat urine becomes more pungent and a cat graciously jumps into the canoe. It starts to say "Hi! My name is..." when you grab it and start using it as a paddle.

You paddle towards the centre of the lake.

http://www.outbackonline.net/Advent%20Calendar/Advent_WetCat.jpg

You

a) continue to paddle towards a nearby island
b) stop paddling to talk to the pissed off wet cat
c) paddle back towards the shore

[b i o n i c]

c) you paddle to shore

http://harlequinpines.tripod.com/grillphoto.jpg
get hungry and eat the cat.


after you fill your belly you decide to take a look around the place. you walk through some woods and come across a clearing. you follow a path towards this dark house.

the door is open...
http://images.vrbo.com/vrbo/images/e89d

do you
a) go right in and make yourself at home?
b) ring the bell and threaten to kill whomever is there if they don't cough up some gold
c) piss in the mailbox and keep walking

[Drederick Tatum]

c) piss in the mailbox and keep walking

after relieving yourself in the mailbox, you stroll off, wondering whether or not you believe in karma. Suddenly, a hand grabs you from behind, spins you round and now you're face to face with an enraged, knife wielding hillbilly, furious that you filled his mailbox with your urine.

http://thoughtplot.multiultramedia.com/im/knife%20man5%20copy.jpg

you

a) break down in tears, throwing yourself at his mercy, all the while hoping to get a chance to run away
b) fight this scumbag off, even though you are only armed with the bones of a wet cat
c) point behind your attacker, shout, "look! your sister in a bikini!" and then stab him in the neck with the femur of your former feline companion.

[Beckalina]

c)

You are shocked to see that his sister really is over there in her bikini and she is angry at you for killing her lover/brother.

http://funnypics.free.fr/explorer/public/img/b/bikini%20for%20men.jpg

a) try to calm her down with some sweet loving.

b) knock her out with your shoe and run

c) give her the change in your pocket and see what happens.

[camo]

b) knock her out with your shoe and run

http://www.bennettsshoeservice.co.nz/images/old%20boot.jpg

You run but decide that it would be better to face her.

You take off you're shoe. The faint whiff of foot cheese hangs around you. It is a pungent smell not a lot unlike a freshly sliced piece of taleggio.

The shoe is old and heavy and you knock her to the ground with one fell swoop. She lies motionless on the floor. Before the guilt creeps in you decide to finish the job. You're face is like a blank canvas, you show no emotion. The picture has yet to be painted.

For the next five minutes you pummel her with the shoe until the adrenalin jars the muscles in your arms. You then collapse in a limp pile next to her motionless body. You're vision has been impeeded by the beads of sweat trickling down you're brow.

You smile.

In the distance you hear sirens, the beat from your heart quickens..

Do you..

a) Run. You Run like the wind in the opposite direction of the sirens.

b) Hand yourself into the cops

c) Masturbate wildly over the corpse and hope that the sirens are for a bank robbery, in the town down the road

[Big Gus]

c) Masturbate wildly over corpse.

You are tired after pummeling someone to death with a heavy shoe, but she does look quite aluring down there, all helpless.. and.. er.. bloody.

You start well, soon have "the flag flying at full mast" as you strum your shaft diligently. The sirens only heighten your sense of sexual arousal.

You feel the blood rush to your head as you approach "the tickly bit".

Suddenly, the ground errupts and turf and earth fly everywhere. Seems your unatural masturbation has awoken:

http://media.bluedistortion.com/zombies_01.jpg

..a pack of wild zombies!!

Do you:

a: Carry on wanking. The undead arent going to spoil this!

b: Look for a suitable object to inflict blunt force trauma to the zombies

c. Run, run like the wind! Or, run as fast as a sexually aroused person can!

[Drederick Tatum]

a) carrying on wanking

instead of putting you off, the moans of the undead, like the sirens, heighten your arousal. as you move towards some kind of bizarre sexual nirvana you quicken your pace and are soon beating your meat for all its worth. it all becomes too much and you explode all over the zombies. strangely enough, the zombies don't seem put off by receiving the full force of your eruption and there is even a perversely touching scene where zombie father and zombie
son compare the facial they have just received.

http://images.inmagine.com/168nwm/photoalto/paa120/paa120000053.jpg

however, now that you've finished this has become rather weird and you feel kinda awkward.

you

a) thank the zombies for making it such a special experience, promising to call them the next day.
b) slowly back out of the situation, explaining to the zombies that it all got way too kinky and that you're not usually like that.
c) run. just run.

[Drederick Tatum]

hahaha zombie family facial totally killed this thread.

[Big Gus]

I just don't think people "got" it.

*shrugs*

Ah well.

[Teh]

FOOLS dont realise the value of this thread.

ill do one later maybe

[Drederick Tatum]

I was expecting big things. but I think it just got too real and people couldn't handle it.

[Helvete]

c) run. just run

You run, and run. And run and run. In fact, you run like Forrest Gump did until you come to a sheer cliff by the sea. You stop, feeling pretty mashed up, and your feet are all pulped and bloody, but you gaze out to the expanse of the ocean stopping you.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v144/damaja/20020621_174117.jpg

You:

a) Investigate further down the cliff
b) Turn around and run some more
c) Dive from the cliff into the sea

[Stupid]

a) Investigate further down the cliff

You venture down the cliff hoping to find a boat or at least something to eat as you realise you are starving after watching all the kinky zombie action. When you reach the bottom you look up to notice a sea creature coming towards you.

http://www.thefeejeemermaid.com/flyingoneeyedseamonster.jpg

You
a) scream like a little bitch
b) jump into the sea
c)throw a small rock at it and hope for the best

[Drederick Tatum]

a) scream like a little bitch

it's been a traumatic day and this unprovoked attack by some weird sea creature is the last straw, you scream like a little girl. you are about to burst into tears, but then you realize that the sea creature is merely a movie prop someone has thrown in your direction. you hear some laughter:

http://a1.vox.com/6a00c225241b398e1d00d09e458541be2b-500pi


it's some fucking kids in a tree and they're the ones who are laughing and not with you either because they're pointing at you. you may be a bit fragile at the moment, but you're not going to take any shit from some punk kids.

you

a) climb the tree and push them out
b) start shaking the tree
c) tell them they should come down from the tree, once on the ground, you beat them up.

[roosta]

http://secure1.mppglobal.com/Preview/204/10113/275785L.jpg

BEST TSHIRT EVER (http://www.tshirts365.com/sportshop/productpage/1,17576,7582_7609_1637603,00.html?productid=275785 )

[na§tee]

it's some fucking kids in a tree and they're the ones who are laughing and not with you either because they're pointing at you. you may be a bit fragile at the moment, but you're not going to take any shit from some punk kids.
HAHAHAHAH oh man i LOLed at this.

and i fucking LOVE that tshirt, gimme, gimme! why did i miss this thread? :( i was obsessed with knightmare when i was younger, yo. oh god. all those out of work actors playing fucking jesters and husky maidens and what not. hahahaha. loves it. LEFT! RIGHT! STEP LEFT! PICK UP THE KEY!