View Full Version : being kicked in the nutz
na§tee
04-04-2007, 07:28 PM
tell me how it feels, boys.
serious.
i understand it hurts MUCHLY but i want to know what sort of BEAST this pain is. dull? sharp? throbbing? localised? bring it.
like all of them.
i actually cant describe it.
how about you just go to fucking sleep yo!!
and leave deciphering the universe til tomorrow.
Deep_Sea_Rain
04-04-2007, 07:35 PM
A weird sort of nausea...that's the best way I can describe it.
i haven't been kicked in the balls in ages
but from what i remember, i don't know how to describe it in words. there's not much to compare it to really, it feels like being kicked in the nuts
it's like the polar opposite of an orgasm, i guess
mikizee
04-04-2007, 08:18 PM
it is a pain that is like no other. u cant really compare it to anything. except if u get struck bad u just want to DIE. and throw up. ive vomited after being hit in the nuts b4.
TurdBerglar
04-04-2007, 08:19 PM
try puching yourself in the ovaries
TurdBerglar
04-04-2007, 08:23 PM
i'll punch her ovaries from the inside ;)
GreenEarthAl
04-04-2007, 08:25 PM
Sometimes the worst part of it is it leads you to believe that it might not hurt. It's like the creeping agony. For a few seconds you think... "Maybe they missed" "No, no, there it is. The agony"
TurdBerglar
04-04-2007, 08:25 PM
then you hunch over and dry heave
I have never been kicked in the nuts but I have had bike stem and various other incedents. Yeah its hard to exsplain. Its real intense, very instant and sharp pain. your balls and gut just well I dont know..... fucking kill(n) (n) (n) (n) (n) I have never puked but I have like I was going to.
Trying to explain this to you would be like explaining colour to a blind man.
afronaut
04-04-2007, 10:34 PM
the pain also shoots up your spine, if it is bad enough.
Schmeltz
04-04-2007, 11:02 PM
It's like a sting and an ache put together and exponentially amplified.
Lo_Lyfe
04-04-2007, 11:20 PM
A girl named Emma kicked me in the balls so hard I threw up when I was 6.
I changed schools when I was 9, and a girl named Holly at that school used kick boys in the nuts. She kicked me in the conkers hard enough for me to double over and nearly black out.
It's like someone pushing 25 sharpened hedgehogs down your urethra, shoving your willy up your ass and letting the hedgehogs out to roam about in your scrotum. Your scrotum, nastee.
So anyway, Holly tried to hang herself, and last I heard she was a prostitute. That's a kick in her balls.
The Notorious LOL
04-05-2007, 02:01 AM
words cannot truely describe it is about the best way to put it.
Lyman Zerga
04-05-2007, 02:39 AM
i accidently kicked a guy in the nuts, he had to go to the bathroom afterwards
he probably cried
the fact that he needed a wheel chair most of the time didnt really help my bad conscience
na§tee
04-05-2007, 03:13 AM
i'll punch her ovaries from the inside ;)
hahah! smooth, yo.
it's like the polar opposite of an orgasm
It's like the creeping agony
It's like someone pushing 25 sharpened hedgehogs down your urethra, shoving your willy up your ass and letting the hedgehogs out to roam about in your scrotum. Your scrotum, nastee.
these are definitely my favourites. good going, guys! so far i am learning that the pain is extreme, otherwordly and spreads beyond the immediate area to the solar plexus and what not. excellent!
there is a fetish i learned about recently whereby dudes get off by being kicked in the testicles. i'd be happy to oblige, yo! right now i sort of want to ram mahmoud ahmadinejad in the nuts.
even a gentle poke in the nads is enough to stimulate ones tear ducts
Check out the penis torture video. Has people sticking knives down their penises. Smashing them with hammers. Nailing them to boards. All sorts of sick shit.
no way, jus reading you're post has me squirming in my seat
na§tee
04-05-2007, 03:50 AM
are these all elements of the video you were attempting to film the other day, joel?
camo, if you say you're instead of your one more time i am going to prod you in the nuts! :cool:
camo, if you say you're instead of your one more time i am going to prod you in the nuts! :cool:
It's all for you. You're my special friend.
You know what sucks? My intentional error has crept into the real world and I have been confusing the correct spelling on a day to day basis. Who ever thought that a joke would be this hard to maintain?
g-mile7
04-05-2007, 04:01 AM
No pain really but a loss of breath and sickness...it is tha kryptonite of most men
No pain really but a loss of breath and sickness...it is tha kryptonite of most men
no pain?!?!? Do you have robo-nutz?
g-mile7
04-05-2007, 04:03 AM
Trying to explain this to you would be like explaining colour to a blind man.
Zing!
g-mile7
04-05-2007, 04:07 AM
no pain?!?!? Do you have robo-nutz?
No pain. I mean Ive been punched boxing and joking...thats pain. Poked in tha eye=pain. A shot to tha nuts (mind you Ive never been kicked but hit with a soccer/basketball) has never been painful, just a serious loss of breath equal/greater then gettin tha wind knocked out of U.
Pres Zount
04-05-2007, 04:22 AM
You know what sucks? My intentional error has crept into the real world and I have been confusing the correct spelling on a day to day basis. Who ever thought that a joke would be this hard to maintain?
Nice save!
I agree to an extent with G-mile, it is not traditional pain, it is something different. Not the worst kind of pain avaliable by a long shot, but it is on it's own level of uncomfortableness and badness, that should be feared and avoided.
My testes have taken loads of damage over the years, so I can picture the feeling in my head without too much trouble. There is fear. Getting kicked is worse than a football hitting it, the ball absorbs alot of the kinetic energy, wheras a shoe or a foot just seems to pass it on much better.
Nice save!
Thats funny I'd have thought that you would have been in the same boat as na§tee regarding this thread.
na§tee
04-05-2007, 04:42 AM
Thats funny I'd have thought that you would have been in the same boat as na§tee regarding this thread.
er, what's that? the same sex boat?
i'm taking a stab in the dark here but i'm pretty sure he is a man. unless he is the victim of some sort of horrible but fascinating mengele shit.
me, i don't have testicles, no matter what lo_lyfe tells you! :mad:
Pres Zount
04-05-2007, 04:44 AM
Each and every one of your posts is a kick to the balls of comedy, camo. Shutup.
er, what's that? the same sex boat?
No, the not having any balls boat.
Each and every one of your posts is a kick to the balls of comedy, camo. Shutup.
Go and polish your fucking chufty badge you moron.
Lex Diamonds
04-05-2007, 04:49 AM
*runs up from behind and boots camo in the balls REALLY HARD*
*runs up from behind and boots camo in the balls REALLY HARD*
hey, what gives?!
Lex Diamonds
04-05-2007, 04:54 AM
Sorry, I couldn't resist. :(
*flicks an elastic band at padsters testi-satchell*
It really is something you must experience once in your life.
ain't nobody taking a crowbar near my spam javelin
na§tee
04-05-2007, 05:34 AM
spam javelin
:(
goodness me!
i think i am going to start a "gross words for penis" thread, too!
:(
goodness me!
i think i am going to start a "gross words for penis" thread, too!
that would be a five star thread. Definately.
Would also be a great place for padster to relieve some of his board-tourettes :D
Pres Zount
04-05-2007, 07:01 AM
unless he is the victim of some sort of horrible but fascinating mengele shit.
LOL at that.
Getting kicked in the nuts for the first time was probably horrible but fascinating shit, too. Wow, this is... new.
I remember my dad telling me to "defend everything down there". Fucking defend, ok? Ok. That and "Don't stick sharp objects in your ears" are the only two pieces of advie I ever got from him. I have failed on both accounts.
Lex Diamonds
04-05-2007, 07:32 AM
that would be a five star thread. Definately.
Would also be a great place for padster to relieve some of his board-tourettes :D
I'm waaaaay ahead of you. (http://www.beastieboys.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=71071&highlight=luncheon+meat+truncheon)
I'm waaaaay ahead of you. (http://www.beastieboys.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=71071&highlight=luncheon+meat+truncheon)
oh yeah! I'm the last person who commented on it too
TurdBerglar
04-05-2007, 10:39 AM
i must knock myself in the nuts a good dozen times a day. it's always something be it bumbing into the corner of a counter or just simply knocking myself with my own hands. the funniest is when im cutting up a box with a boxcutter and i slip of the edge of the box and my own fist rails me right in the cock. no wonder why they say cut away from you. or when you standing next to someone and they're a hand talker and when they finish talking they drop they hands by down by their sides and knock you right in the dick. UUUUMPHHH
then you always do that UUUMPH......is it gonna hurt is it gonna hurt???? NO! it doesn't hurt! phew. then like then seconds later it kicks in.
Junker
04-05-2007, 10:42 AM
Its fucking horrible. The best description I can give.
TurdBerglar
04-05-2007, 10:45 AM
it kinda feels like that internal discomfort when you need to take a massive dump while in class but amplified ten fold and throbbing.
HOTWIFE
04-05-2007, 10:54 AM
it kinda feels like that internal discomfort when you need to take a massive dump while in class but amplified ten fold and throbbing.
that's exactly how my husband has put it to me, many times.
that's exactly how my husband has put it to me, many times.
Maybe it's time you stopped doing it to him then.
abcdefz
04-05-2007, 11:02 AM
I've never successfully been kicked in the nuts -- thanks, Sis! -- but I did take a pitch to the groin the first time I ever tried to bunt.
All I remember is an intense, bomblike pain simultaneously in the groin and head, and a bolt shooting that connected both. Fell to the ground. Couldn't breathe, couldn't move. Pain pain pain pain pain in my balls, in my head, behind my eyes, clutching my lungs, oh God I'm gonna die. Legs? Forget your legs. They are OUT.
Coach was just holding my pants out by the front, encouraging me to breathe. Eventually asked me why I wasn't wearing a cup.
A cup?
He had his son -- the pitcher, the second fastest pitcher in the fucking league -- take me back behind some trees and show me what a cup was for and how you wore it.
Good times.
I've told this before, but here it is again.
When I was 12 a guy in my class put his hands on my shoulders and rammed his knee in my crotch. I pissed blood for 3 days. I also felt pain.
HOTWIFE
04-05-2007, 11:23 AM
Maybe it's time you stopped doing it to him then.
yeah probably..
Junker
04-05-2007, 01:45 PM
I've told this before, but here it is again.
When I was 12 a guy in my class put his hands on my shoulders and rammed his knee in my crotch. I pissed blood for 3 days. I also felt pain.
What a retard. What did you do after? Kids can be so damn terrible.
TurdBerglar
04-05-2007, 01:47 PM
if you ever noticed, a dude protects his nuts before anything else. you ladies need to keep a look out for that. it's pretty funny. whenever something falls the first thing a guy does is arch his back. this pulls the nuts in between his thighs. whenever a little child comes barreling down the hallway, the dude arches his back and turns his cock towards the wall. or if he's sitting on the couch he puts a throw pillow on his lap just in case the dog or cat or small child desides to jump up onto his lap. and the most obvious is when standing next to a female. most guys don't stand directly next to a female. it always seems a little bit towards the back of her. females don't understand the concept of balls so they're always accidentally knocking them. it can be just like how i stated earlier with the hand talkers. or she knocks you with her purse.
Big Gus
04-05-2007, 01:55 PM
Yeah I concor with the "it's not like normal blunt force trauma pain".
If you get "caught right" it just completely incapacitates you. The pain starts shaprly and localised, rushes up your spine to your head and you lose control of you legs meaning you collapse on the ground.
Down there is where the nausea, spinning sensation and throwing up begins.
I tell you what sucks, sitting on your nuts on a hard chair in a way that "traps" one. Shit, that sucks.
abcdefz
04-05-2007, 01:55 PM
Dang, Turd. Maybe if you tossed one off every now and then you wouldn't be so damned delicate. :D
TurdBerglar
04-05-2007, 01:58 PM
i have sensitive nuts
abcdefz
04-05-2007, 02:00 PM
Apparently so. That must suck if you're really balling.
What a retard. What did you do after? Kids can be so damn terrible.
I doubled over and sat down.
skra75
04-05-2007, 02:11 PM
it's as if your balls exploded and were sucked into your body like a suitcase being sucked out of a decompressing exploded window on a Boeing 747
:-*
You ever have those cramps whilst on your bloody vag time that make you feel like your ovaries are being pulled out, you are in the fetal position when you get the chance but still somehow manage to go to work, and you have popped about 15 advils that day?
Ok, now multiply that by 1000 and you still won't come close.
Big Gus
04-05-2007, 02:26 PM
Women are meant to have a higher pain threshold than men, I read it recently doing some research on manflu.
Maybe if women had a sack you could pound it like Rocky on a speedbag and they wouldnt flinch?
Pres Zount
04-06-2007, 12:23 AM
I think pain threshold should be taken on a case by case basis. I just punched myself in the face to test, and it REALLY hurt.
Good Friday lunch today, Susan whipped me in the nuts with a tea towel while we were drying up, and it stung fairly badly. I couldn't tell her why I wanted her to stop flicking the tea towel in front of her mother, so I just had to try to get my thigh in the way of the goods, and face the wall.
My younger brother was bullied in primary school and never told anyone until he was kicked in the balls. He had to have surgery, and is now the most jewish person in the family.
EDIT: actually, my sister doesn't eat pork, so, I guess it might be a draw.
befsquire
04-06-2007, 12:38 AM
You ever have those cramps whilst on your bloody vag time that make you feel like your ovaries are being pulled out, you are in the fetal position when you get the chance but still somehow manage to go to work, and you have popped about 15 advils that day?
Ok, now multiply that by 1000 and you still won't come close.
multiply that by billionteenfinity, and you aren't close to childbirth without drugs.
Check your pm, C-dizzle. Also, it's about as bad as a kidney stone. Get one of those and you'll have something close.
na§tee
04-06-2007, 11:25 AM
c-dizzle! loves it.
well, boys, you have certainly excelled yourselves. i will not be kicking you lot in the balls any time soon. un.. unless you're into that sorta of thing.
Lo_Lyfe
04-06-2007, 12:21 PM
c-dizzle! loves it.
well, boys, you have certainly excelled yourselves. i will not be kicking you lot in the balls any time soon. un.. unless you're into that sorta of thing.
*paints bulls-eye on sac*
Lex Diamonds
04-06-2007, 12:25 PM
*kicks LL in the nuts*
50 points!
Lo_Lyfe
04-06-2007, 12:29 PM
*paints sad faces on balls*
:( :(
Lex Diamonds
04-06-2007, 12:30 PM
Turn that frown, upside down!
*grabs LL's balls and twists*
Lo_Lyfe
04-06-2007, 12:32 PM
This is getting a bit fruity.
Lex Diamonds
04-06-2007, 12:34 PM
*punches LL in the face, throws a cricket ball really far, eats a rare steak, lights a cigar and downs a neat whiskey double*
What, who's fruity?
na§tee
04-06-2007, 02:04 PM
*paints bulls-eye on sac*
hoooooooh boy i'm skilled in the ways of the targeting, i tells ya. now stand still. this won't hurt a bit..
Lo_Lyfe
04-06-2007, 02:07 PM
hoooooooh boy i'm skilled in the ways of the targeting, i tells ya. now stand still. this won't hurt a bit..
While I'm standing here with my balls out, let me tell you that by pulling my tadger up, I am performing what the industry refers to as a 'Hung Chook'. A mate of mine did a 'Hung Chook' to a group of schoolkids once.
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