In this thread I write my album

[Lo_Lyfe]

So I need an intro skit. Go on.

[Lo_Lyfe]

shit it ain't been the same since they took my hood

sliced it off
nicked the shaft
wa shit
yo
we do this

for the necrophiliacs
who need new shovels
and wipe their brows
sweating on your loved ones

hot ishhhhhhh

[Bob]

gotta log in first....tch forgot my password and shit

[Lex Diamonds]

Funny you should say this as me and Joel are both currently writing songs (not connected).

[Lo_Lyfe]

Track 2:

Think about your daughter
think about her job yo
she hot gettin paid for takin knobs
in the ear no fear in her rear make it clear
wearin jism masks
like a gay doom
she grew up way soon
i use vidal sassoon
actually facts is true till they wrong
bang my gong
she insisted
she was old enough to get fisted
you must have missed it
she gets played
if she really enjoyed
wouldn't need to get paid
like an april sale cashier
or martin bashir
the streets changed like her anus
i speaks plainness
and mad aimless

Think about your daughter
Think about your daughter
Think about your daughter
price doesn't reflect the scarcity







of water

verse two is for the gender assigned to stools
they could be female fool
you can 'give birth'
so why not name em?
people leaving skidmarks
venus wants to shame em
i'm huckleberry finn and my
the toilet papers thin
shit on my hands and now the power went out
shoulda payed my bills stead a writin this ill type responses to my own posts
betty rubble in trouble
here comes barney with the club
i'm eatin sardines
got a toaster near the tub
went to the bank, they unzipped the tellers eyes
and told her "Speak Bitch"
Freak Bitch on some TLC creep ish
flames on my chest
hot to death
that's not a good look
thank god i got a good hook


Think about your daughter
Think about your daughter
Think about your daughter
I'm getting tongue, what did you order?

Calamity clam
cleanin up chlamydia
claims cystic conversions
damn that didn't last
hope it's nearly half past
i gotta jet
track three
track two ain't even done yet
we got concepts ridiculous
homer simpson assfuckin maude flanders
cop a gander
thats right
it was about daughters
taking orders
evaluating prices slapped on water
i had big hopes for this
now im drink spa water
do illegal immigrants own dogs that look like lassie?
im mad classy
like freddie blassy
well i guess sort of
i got strong arm from beating off
i look like Paul Orndorff

Wind

Earth

Fire

Water

Heart

MOTHERFUCKEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[Lex Diamonds]

Started very strong, slacked off for the last verse. 3-3.5/5

[Lo_Lyfe]

RRRRRRRR

Yo
this song
is for anyone
at the club
I'm not
I'm at home beating off

it was a good day
sorta hood say
i'm not finishing that
booda bood bood say
so in one way like gordon shumway
i eat pussies,
but never in a dumb way
until one day
i was invited
on a big nigh out yo
the kid was mad excited
i couldn't hide it
about to lose my dome
yo you know I couldn't hid it
it was time to get physical
i was miserable
had to much to eat
my shoes were tied with umbilicals
so i turned we got the
to get me in the mood
for cross country skiing
now im in the nude
and i can see
i know where you're at
i hope don't mind
it was me that fed your cat

In the club the club the club
you don't know don't know don't know
I'm at home at home at home
spamming my sheets with messageboard liquidz!

In the club the club the club
you don't know don't know don't know
I'm at home at home at home
spamming my sheets with messageboard liquidz!

You know when you fart
in a room by yourself
then a someone comes in?
and all you can ever manage
is just a dumb grin
and when its a woman
she looks at the floor
lucky i don't know
cuz i work at a liquor store
an angry scotsman started buggin
i wouldn't hook him up a refund
doude was mad dirty
you know
Rerun
he clenched his teeth
looked like a cats pooper
i said "Say curly wurly"
bitch ass
Ach aye the noo
i start tp wafl
he said Whuut tae foook
all i could do was rofl
whatever you do don't type oMG
as you can see
I'm no mc
Talk to me softly
theres something in your eyes
don't hang your head in sorrow
and please don't cry
he looked like a toothy fucker
you can tell when a guest
has been beating of in your house

In the club the club the club
you don't know don't know don't know
I'm at home at home at home
spamming my sheets with messageboard liquidz!

In the club the club the club
you don't know don't know don't know
I'm at home at home at home
spamming my sheets with messageboard liquidz!

In the club the club the club
you don't know don't know don't know
I'm at home at home at home
spamming my sheets with messageboard liquidz!

In the club the club the club
you don't know don't know don't know
I'm at home at home at home
spamming my sheets with messageboard liquidz!
What? Suburban white malez what's up? Non-threatening, moderately sexually adventurous hoes, know how it goes!!

I shit my pants on camp when i was 10
straight up yo
i vowed never again
and a dude named ben
shit under a rock
and told the teacher it was me
man, what a cock
sorry i was distracted
i was looking at your breasts
i know you only have them out
so i can comment on your dress

[Lo_Lyfe]

TRACK 4

Extra Lyfe pt 1 (leftover verse off the cutting floor)

a convenient dispenser
for your toilet roll
or your window cleanser
shit..............it's my pole
i can hang a coat from it,
tie a rope on it
launch a new boat from it
your friend Hope's on it
i can slap your mum
her face will touch her bum
ping your liquor cabinet and I'm
smashing all your rum
here I here I come
there they there they go
my nutz are like headphones
my jock's in stereo
i whip it out
don't adjust your glasses
i get flagged down
nannas waving bus passes
i said
you can ride it
have you decided?
can you sit on a bus
with no seatbelts provided?
"ooh yes deary,
i'm glad you made the stop.
they may call me granny
but i'm still about the cock"
i said damn i gotta jet
my face is turning red
she's one surprise party
away from being dead
so i went down to the servo
to get myself a pie
spying mrs macs
and i'm macking on the sly
I heard the word "Jesus!"
dunno who had said it
i don't think my diddle
runs on unleaded
so i peaced out vikram
the girlies at the pumps
my johnson getting prickly
could prolly pop them humps
went down to the pub
people staring at my legs
my dickies lookin like
i pocketed some kegs
i said "Nah Baz,
there's no cause for strife,
It's just my john thomas,
i can feed it to your wife"

[Lo_Lyfe]

TRACK 5 JUST THE REST OF THAT SONG REALLY, SORT OF JUXTAPOSED

Extra Lyfe pt 2

and it was all tender and shytt. and it weren't twolip mayne my shytt has sailed bytch

so now i feel propmted to write poetry not rhymes

under the moonlight
loading bay
orangepeel on my shoe my lug what up boo?
we caressin well you caressin me
damn security yo lay lo
like a condor peelin apples for a salad usin apples
a put my stick in the toffee
oooh lala in your pepe le peu
may god
oh shit i love your panties
let me try them on
can i borrow a hairclip damn my effervescence is pleasant
i be up in you bubbly
like a thrush remedy
my crew think i fell of for fallin in youe flytrap
bastin ham for christmas, yo we always had the turkeys.

*break*

i jump out the bush yellin supplies
you see it my eyes
we a three man tent with a team packin in
i chill in a shopping cart
like six pounds of olive
like a balck smith but not will
hammer your horse shoe
good looks yo can i use some lipgloss?
my shytts dryin up when it gets windy
i wanna be ur husband
aquaphobic sealion
hurry up a n give the password to the poonani
im just playin
rose leafes on the bed
bread hollowed out and placed upon my head
oh shit i gopt a bread hat
did you get that
sing along with me
oh shit i got a bread hat
alram clock ringing i hit the cooze like its snooze
pushin with my hand like og de Souza on a cruise
undo my suspenders but
dont laugh
at the boing
i could eat your toes
oh shit you know how crushes goes

[Lo_Lyfe]

Track 6

Name Game

I'm the big bad wolf
in your neighbourhood
not bad meaning bad
but badmeaninggood
i'm 23
like a kid tho
unemployed shit bro
borderline schizo
it's kinda funny
i guess cause in a way
clipping my toenails
is the highlight of my day
i drink a coffee
it makes me want to shit
the doctor said coffee
is 'blahblah-kinetic'
so i guess it exerts force
and smoking did it too
when i say did it
i mean it made me want to poo
by the way
to the five boroughs
hasn't even come out cause this
is my concept shit
imagine whirling beats
a little backwards masking
can you hook me up some beats?
dam yo im only asking

dam yo Im only asking
dam yo vunnnnn vmvmvmvmvmvmvmv
*Tardis Noise*


Wassup this is Kid
I insulted you before
i told you you should die
i called a couple of you whorez
i did a little jig
spun about and danced
michael flately on the mic
a beefin factory in me pants
de ner ner lal lalalala
til i dropped him
hahahahaHA
Not knowin exactly what lies ahead
dam yo
i think i got a cone head
and a receedning hairline
what acombination
i must have murdered a cripple in a past life (n)

a cripple in a past life
a cripple in a vunnnnn vmvmvmvmvmvmvmv
*Tardis Noise*

yo this is Lo_Lyfe and this my shit
if you ever paid for porn
yo gonna be feelin it
i like books about peeing
and playing transformers
i wear three layers of clothing
use towels as hand warmers
at the dole office
they have this little thing
whenever you number is up the thing goes 'ping'
except it doesn't go ping it goes 'ping ping'
AND IT SOUNDS LIKE TAINTED LOVE
so you know i start to sing
i got beat up by a woman
who had no arms and legs

WHOAAAAHH TAINETD LOVE

yeah vikram
ima rob you bitch
don't press no silent shit
ima go blaoooooww
and make my escape
on my fukkin exercycle

[ET]

All skits should involve posting on this message board.

[mikizee]

brilliant.

this is gunna make the cover of rolling stone for sure.

[g-mile7]

Yup I am making an album.
I've made 12

[g-mile7]

Think about your daughter
think about her job yo
she hot gettin paid for takin knobs
in the ear no fear in her rear make it clear
wearin jism masks
like a gay doom
she grew up way soon
i use vidal sassoon
actually facts is true till they wrong
bang my gong
she insisted
she was old enough to get fisted
you must have missed it
she gets played
if she really enjoyed
wouldn't need to get paid
like an april sale cashier or martin bashir
the streets changed like her anus Has potential

[befsquire]

you need to make a super cliff-notes version for those who've been drinking and either can't read the entire thing or just unintentionally start to wander off when reading it.

[Lo_Lyfe]

Track 8

Malevolent bowls
ceramic nightmare
spoons dishing petulance
breakfast of destruction
i wear a carcass
on my head
destroyers acquittal
aardvark malaria


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa

insane turnip seed
elongated macrome
noodles on your soul
the hounds of hell fetch the bone
suicide bananas
hanging from a peel
appeal in circuit livers
kidney earwax exemptions

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa

half past hulk hogan
switch the program
foolish outfit
my balloon carries none
tuberculosis popcharts
ego spray mist of eveningwear
strapless confessions
broomstick evaluations
ready to roar

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaa

(On some genre-hopping shit, I went for a Slayer meets At The Drive In type shit)

[Lo_Lyfe]

Track 9

Girl you look deadly
lets make the evening ours
we are two panthers
hunting for love

Your claws on my back
pour some sugar
on the devil
barking at the
one who should be with you

Gonna take a thrill ride! (Thrill Ride!)
Gonna take a thrill ride! (Thrill Ride!)
Gonna Take X 6
A thrill ride to outer spaaaaayyyyyaaaayyayaaaaaaaace!

*Geetar!*

She's a lonely vixen
high heels and hairspray
all leather exterior
plush interior
yeah i'm fit to burn
under your hood
got your back up against the wrecking machiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyiiiiiiiine!

Gonna take a thrill ride! (Thrill Ride!)
Gonna take a thrill ride! (Thrill Ride!)
Gonna Take X 6
A thrill ride to outer spaaaaayyyyyaaaayyayaaaaaaaace!

*Geetar!*


Gonna take a thrill ride! (Thrill Ride!)
Gonna take a thrill ride! (Thrill Ride!)
Gonna Take X 6
A thrill ride to outer spaaaaayyyyyaaaayyayaaaaaaaace!


Gonna take a thrill ride! (Thrill Ride!)
Gonna take a thrill ride! (Thrill Ride!)
Gonna Take X 6
A thrill ride to outer spaaaaayyyyyaaaayyayaaaaaaaace!

(Repeat to fade)