Pissed off

[QueenAdrock]

Okay, so my roommates and I had that huge party. Initially, they sent out an email saying "We're all pitching in $20 for a keg!" and I sent something back saying "The fuck? We're paying for everyone to get drunk? I don't have a lot of extra funds because I'm paying a good deal of money for my physical therapy for my back, as well as trying to save for grad school which is in three months...." so my friend sent back a reply saying "Well yeah, whatever you feel comfortable throwing in for it, that's fine." So instead, I told them I'd make all those jello shots. I can afford jello shots, they get people drunk, and they're cheap.

I get IMed today saying "Hey, you owe $14 for the keg, and $10 for liquor/food" from another roommate. I never agreed to that. I agreed to "Contribute what you can," which was 100 jello shots. $10 worth, because I've got a lot of expenses right now and wanted to donate what I could, but didn't want to pay fuckin' $20 for one night of getting OTHER people drunk.

Not only that, I did not have ONE. SINGLE. BEER. The only friends I invited were my coworkers, and they maybe had 6 beers altogether, and two mixed drinks, which was NOTHING. They didn't even get drunk. The people who got the drunkest were mutual friends/co-workers of my roommate's. Why the hell should I pay for something that I (nor my coworkers) took a part of? I didn't even drink a single drop of the liquor I'm supposed to put in for! I drank my "Congrats for getting into grad school" liquor that I got as a gift.

I'm just pissed that they're asking for money now. Not only that, I don't know how to tell them no, because then they'll all have to pay extra money to make up for what I didn't put in, and that's bitchy and they'll be mad at me.

I don't know what to do. :mad: :mad:

[abcdefz]

Just say "Here's what I agreed to" and hand in ten bucks.

[Tompz]

i know a good lawyer

[QueenAdrock]

Just say "Here's what I agreed to" and hand in ten bucks.

That's what I'm thinking, but I also don't want them to be bitchy towards me or ask why I can't pay more or blah blah. I gotta live with them so I'm not sure if they'll be pissy with me.

Plus, I avoid conflicts at all costs, so I don't know how to politely tell them to fuck off and accept what I give them.

[QueenAdrock]

ahahhaha

Well, I emailed one of the girls and said "Hey you remember how I agreed to this...?" and she said "Well, I know your bills are tighter right now with therapy and grad school, so donate what you see fit, but right now it's $30." So it's one of those situations that it's like "Welll...if you don't want to be a cheap asshole, here's the full price, but you can choose what you want to give." For some reason, I don't think she fully understands why I don't want to/can't pay all of it (She makes $15k more than I do, plus pays $100 less per month in health insurance and has fewer bills). I mean, if I said "Sure!" for each time a situation like this came up, and shelled out for each one, I wouldn't be able to save at all for school.

So I told her I already paid for the jello, and I'm gonna throw in another $15. Hopefully she won't be upset or whatever. I mean, seriously, she shouldn't, because it's not like I'm going back on my word, it's exactly what I told her to begin with, BEFORE they got the keg.

[abcdefz]

I'm sorry, but this is something that drives me nuts about women:

Women feel like an agreement which has been made is a base from which to negotiate further.

Just stand your ground or you set a precedent for more of this shit down the line.

[beastieangel01]

That's what I'm thinking, but I also don't want them to be bitchy towards me or ask why I can't pay more or blah blah. I gotta live with them so I'm not sure if they'll be pissy with me.

Plus, I avoid conflicts at all costs, so I don't know how to politely tell them to fuck off and accept what I give them.

I agree with a-z but I understand being avoidant of conflicts (BELIEVE ME). But push yourself to tell them that because otherwise they'll walk on you and demand more money. If they get mad, well, tough for them.

[abcdefz]

If they get mad, they should only be mad at themselves. You set a boundary, and they need to respect that.

[zippo]

Women feel like an agreement which has been made is a base from which to negotiate further.

efwvgotuyewrvhw...so true

you think smart before going to work

[abcdefz]

No, no -- I'm at work.

I don't have a computer at home, so if it's a weekday and I'm posting, I'm at "work."

[zippo]

what! the whole time the other day i was imagining you at your house, eating and having your "stiff drink" before going to work

mashuguna

[abcdefz]

Yeah, I knew you were goofed up on that. I tried to correct you, but it didn't seem to take. :D

I was saying I was leaving work in 40 minutes and would have a stiff drink, and you were thinking I was saying I was leaving for work in 40 minutes.

I think.


Yeah, I don't have internet access at home, so I never post from home.

[zippo]

I was saying I was leaving work in 40 minutes and would have a stiff drink, and you were thinking I was saying I was leaving for work in 40 minutes.


pffft haha, ohhhh

[abcdefz]

Yeah. I'm on a totally different time schedule than the rest of humanity. I leave work between 1 and 2 p.m.

[Lex Diamonds]

I'm sorry, but this is something that drives me nuts about women:

Women feel like an agreement which has been made is a base from which to negotiate further.

Just stand your ground or you set a precedent for more of this shit down the line.
Nice stereotyping, Hitler.

What's next, classification by head measurements?

[QueenAdrock]

It's just money, friendship lasts a lifetime : )

True. But I feel like if our 20+ year relationship is worth anything, something as dumb as $10 won't end it. And I'm standing my ground. I'm paying $15 altogether, which was $6 for the shitty vodka, and another $9 towards the keg/liquor.

The reason why she wanted the house to pay entirely for the alcohol at the party was because "The people invited have treated me millions of times" - i.e. her CO-WORKERS. Great, they've treated you, so why don't YOU TREAT THEM. I didn't drink any of what was bought (drank my own), and my coworkers had maybe 8 beers (which is about $6 worth when it's coming from a keg), so I think my $15 is very reasonable.

Plus, I'm sick of shit like this happening. I'm sick and tired of just venting about it and not having my way because I'm scared of pissing people off. If they get pissed, oh well. I'm outta the house in 4 months to go to grad school anyways. I really don't want to have to put up with people bossing me around and making me do stuff because I'm timid and scared to speak up for myself, dammit. :mad:

[abcdefz]

Nice stereotyping, Hitler.

What's next, classification by head measurements?



People with hair really tend to be easily offended.

[roosta]

it's kind of retarded you pay for other peoples drinks at your partys...that's just stupid.

BYOB!

[abcdefz]

I'd expect the host(s) to provide (however they worked it out among themselves), but then take something as a gift and/or assurance that I had what I wanted to drink.

[QueenAdrock]

it's kind of retarded you pay for other peoples drinks at your partys...that's just stupid.

BYOB!

Usually we do do that, unless it's a big party, in which case we supply some stuff. Not all. I've never supplied a keg (we've always asked people to pitch in $3 a piece to cover the cost, which is VERY reasonable), but this time she wanted to do it because she's got tons of money saved up and wanted to treat people who have treated her in the past.

I specifically asked if we could ask people to bring stuff, or if we could ask them to throw down a few dollars to cover expenses, and she said "No, that's kinda shitty. I want to treat them, asking them to pay is kinda wrong."

I mean, I'm sure if I had her salary and her bills, I would have done the same thing. It's nice to treat people every so often. But it's not cool to expect that everyone can afford to do so just because you can. Blah.

[HEIRESS]

we used to always provide sangria at our parties

like ALOT of sangria

[abcdefz]

Yeah, that's bullshit to be making financial decisions for other people in the house.

If she wanted a particular new sofa, would she just expect everyone to pay?

Obviously, that's more expensive, but the principal's similar.

[roosta]

I'd expect the host(s) to provide (however they worked it out among themselves), but then take something as a gift and/or assurance that I had what I wanted to drink.

the hosts would never have enough for me and my friends..