seeeeeeex

[HOTWIFE]

is nice.

i'm bored at work. let's talk about sex.

[na§tee]

do you want me to talk dirty to you, hotwife?

[HOTWIFE]

do you want me to talk dirty to you, hotwife?
hey whatever...

actually, let me make this more specific...why don't you guys tell me about the last time you had sex, whether it was last year, last month, last night, or 5 minutes ago. weeeeeee

[Junker]

Last sunday! God......already 3 days without sex :eek:
haha j/k. I dont panic because of that.

What about you hotwife? When was the last time you had sex?

[funk63]

hey whatever...

actually, let me make this more specific...why don't you guys tell me about the last time you had sex, whether it was last year, last month, last night, or 5 minutes ago. weeeeeee

does oral count?

[Junker]

^^ Probably does. She didnt specificate what kind of sex.

[Lex Diamonds]

I haven't had sex in a month and two days. It's the longest I've been for about a year and a half. It's really starting to get to me, I'm jerking off about 10 times a day. :(

[funk63]

ok then, :)
i ate my gf out last week.

[afronaut]

Around a month ago. It lasted for awhile and i came twice during the same sex session and she came too probably. maybe. hopefully.

[HOTWIFE]

Last sunday! God......already 3 days without sex :eek:
haha j/k. I dont panic because of that.

What about you hotwife? When was the last time you had sex?
i had sex yesterday. it was really good. that's all i'm gonna say...

[funk63]

I haven't had sex in a month and two days. It's the longest I've been for about a year and a half. It's really starting to get to me, I'm jerking off about 10 times a day. :(

10 times? christ, youll hurt the little guy.

[Lex Diamonds]

Nah not 10, I haven't even made the magic seven yet. Got close the other day with 5, but fell asleep after that.

Should be getting some ass tomorrow though. (y)

[HOTWIFE]

I haven't had sex in a month and two days. It's the longest I've been for about a year and a half. It's really starting to get to me, I'm jerking off about 10 times a day. :(
that's not like outrageously long there Padster...but i guess i feel for ya. oh yeah, you broke up with your gf, right?

[HOTWIFE]

Nah not 10, I haven't even made the magic seven yet. Got close the other day with 5, but fell asleep after that.

Should be getting some ass tomorrow though. (y)
5 times in 1 day? woooooooooow

[funk63]

they fall like apples from a tree after 5, whatever that means.

[Junker]

i had sex yesterday. it was really good. that's all i'm gonna say...

What time in the day? Morning, afternoon, night?

[HOTWIFE]

What time in the day? Morning, afternoon, night?
late afternoon...

[Lex Diamonds]

that's not like outrageously long there Padster...but i guess i feel for ya. oh yeah, you broke up with your gf, right?
Yeah I broke up with her about 10 times in the last month and a half but decided to give it one last try today as she basically completely apologised and admitted she had been a cunt and had realised I was the best thing that ever happened to her blah blah... so I'll get it back together with her, have lots of sex, and if she pisses me off again I'll just keep fucking her til I find someone else.

Yeah anyway she's coming round to mine tomorrow after college so we can spend the afternoon together... which going on past events means at least one round of hide the sausage. (y)

And yeah, 5 is difficult. You need to have one when you wake up and one just before bed, and space the rest out fairly evenly through the day.

[Junker]

Yeah I broke up with her about 10 times in the last month and a half but decided to give it one last try today as she basically completely apologised and admitted she had been a cunt and had realised I was the best thing that ever happened to her blah blah... so I'll get it back together with her, have lots of sex, and if she pisses me off again I'll just keep fucking her til I find someone else.

Yeah anyway she's coming round to mine tomorrow after college so we can spend the afternoon together... which going on past events means at least one round of hide the sausage. (y)

And yeah, 5 is difficult. You need to have one when you wake up and one just before bed, and space the rest out fairly evenly through the day.

Romantic as usual... lol (y)

[Junker]

I haven't had sex in 17 years 11 months and 2 days.

So, who jerks off more? You or Padster?

[MC Moot]

Quiff is a funny word and thing.....:D

[Lex Diamonds]

One day I took the day off school to work on an assignment but I just spent all day masturbating.
Did you break the Magic Seven?

[na§tee]

i don't want to talk about the last time i had sex. i'd rather it just went away.

and noooo, now i'm going to have to listen to stories of board members beefing!

[Lex Diamonds]

Romantic as usual... lol (y)
You know me, I'm silky smooth. ;)

[HOTWIFE]

Yeah I broke up with her about 10 times in the last month and a half but decided to give it one last try today as she basically completely apologised and admitted she had been a cunt and had realised I was the best thing that ever happened to her blah blah... so I'll get it back together with her, have lots of sex, and if she pisses me off again I'll just keep fucking her til I find someone else.

Yeah anyway she's coming round to mine tomorrow after college so we can spend the afternoon together... which going on past events means at least one round of hide the sausage. (y)

And yeah, 5 is difficult. You need to have one when you wake up and one just before bed, and space the rest out fairly evenly through the day.
i feel like i just got a glimpse of the mind of a male. yup, exactly as i had imagined

[TAL]

Did you break the Magic Seven?
Why is seven magic?

[Junker]

Did you break the Magic Seven?

It seems you've found one competitor at your level pads my man.

[roosta]

i don't want to talk about the last time i had sex. i'd rather it just went away.


WHAT HAPPENED!

[HOTWIFE]

WHAT HAPPENED!
i KNOW

[Lex Diamonds]

i feel like i just got a glimpse of the mind of a male. yup, exactly as i had imagined
Haha, nah you have no idea what she's done to me. If you knew how she treated me you would probably think I was being merciful compassionate and loving.

[Lex Diamonds]

Why is seven magic?
It's the myth... the holy grail of masturbation. If you can break seven in one day, you are a true master-bator.

I've never managed it myself.

[HOTWIFE]

Haha, nah you have no idea what she's done to me. If you knew how she treated me you would probably think I was being merciful compassionate and loving.
screw her then! literally....

[TAL]

Oh, guess I'm double magic then. Or I was once many years ago.

[Lex Diamonds]

screw her then! literally....
Haha don't worry about that, I will. Gonna let out my month-long frustration with a nice bit of doggy. (y)

[HOTWIFE]

Oh, guess I'm double magic then. Or I was once many years ago.
so you're saying you did it 14 or so times in 1 day? you're a freak of nature man

[Junker]

Oh, guess I'm double magic then. Or I was once many years ago.

:eek: :eek: :eek:

[HOTWIFE]

Not to brag or anything but I'd consider myself to be a top masturbater.
well being a virgin and all, you'd have to be

[roosta]

i KNOW

intriguing!

[TAL]

Yes, I once did 14 in one day.

I was never bored enough again to try for 15.

[HOTWIFE]

Yes, I once did 14 in one day.

I was never bored enough again to try for 15.
i think once i did it 4 times in one day. that pales in comparison.

[TAL]

Come on over, I'll teach you.

[HOTWIFE]

Come on over, I'll teach you.
well i do owe you a birthday present...and that could also be mine

[-grandma-]

wankgasms!!!!
wanksplashes!!!
haha that's gold!

[Rock On]

20 bucks says Joel pulls a "Mike Damone" the first time he finds a girl who lets him play hide the Ol' Brasiole.

[ToucanSpam]

Study break sex....uhhhhhhhhh

[Rock On]

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YxHPjc7bhs)

the "magic 7" meant 7 seconds with Damone.

See the movie, you'll thank me.

[ggirlballa]

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YxHPjc7bhs)

the "magic 7" meant 7 seconds with Damone.

See the movie, you'll thank me.


oh yea and then the girl gets knocked up & he ditches...what great guy that damone

[Funky Pepp]

Hey, if you are bored at work do what an employee of our office-collegues did: Download some porn!

I actually don't like sex anymore at all!!! After I saw what kind of porn this guy had downloaded. He's, I think, member of some weirdo-online-private-viedo-sharing-club and downloaded the most ugly, old, fat people fucking their heads off. :eek: The kind of people you never ever want to see having sex, you know. The kind of people you don't think can attract any other person to having sex. I'm about to become a nun now, actually. And with this sharing thing about those porns: you suddenly start thinking about him filming himself and his ugly girlfriend having sex as well. Wait, I'll be back, just have to go and throw up...

... okay, back again: The coolest thing was his defense against the accusation of downloading porn at work: he said, it was not for him but he sells the stuff. How thick can you be!!!! :rolleyes:

[Dorothy Wood]

once in college I was in a masturbation contest with my roommates and a bunch of lesbians. I mean, we didn't do it in front of eachother, we just tallied them up on calendars with colorful stars and whatnot. there was a banquet and everything. we didn't go though, because we had neglected our calendar. I mean, the contest went on for 3 months!


as for the last time I had sex...I forget, sometime in february I think. that fucker stomped on my heart, so I decided to take a break from men. except now that break is over because me and a boy I know like eachother I think. but we haven't made a sexy time yet.

[tjpop]

i think once i did it 4 times in one day.


is that in one session? or over the whole day? you know cuz I have this sociology paper that I'm researching for and I need to know.

[Bob]

well being a virgin and all, you'd have to be

maybe it's just because i've been one for so long, but i really don't do it much. once a week maybe. i don't have the motivation really

maybe other virgins are different but i'd doubt it. it's not like i know what i'm missing, you know? i'd bet that pound for pound (lol) people who actually have sex masturbate more, especially when they're not getting it

that said, i've never heard of the "magic 7" thing before and i think i found my plans for this weekend

[Bob]

I'm well on the way to setting myself a new record.

well when you're old like me

i'm so old

[ToucanSpam]

Bob, don't be so hard on yourself all the damn time.

[Knuckles]

this thread should be a sticky

[ToucanSpam]

this thread should be a sticky
(!) innuendo(!)

[HOTWIFE]

is that in one session? or over the whole day? you know cuz I have this sociology paper that I'm researching for and I need to know.
oh throughout the day. after 1 i'm like a guy...DONE for awhile.

[HOTWIFE]

this thread should be a sticky
you know, that's a great idea. everyone could check in every now and then letting us know how their last session was.

minton? tpk? anyooooooone?

[Bob]

objection

[HOTWIFE]

objection
overruled.

is overruled spelled with 2 r's, or just 1?

have seeeeeex Bob!!! then you can tell us all about it in this thread. tell me where you live and i'll break you in...

[Justin]

We should all meet for a SEX PARTY!(y)



*we meaning some of us*

[Miho]

I always used to think about sex whenever I'd go into restrooms and see those soap despensers made by the company Sexton. Yep.

But sex? Nah.

[HOTWIFE]

stop gaying up my thread


sex

[Miho]

I did not gay up your thread. What!

Any sex in the restroom stories?

[HOTWIFE]

I did not gay up your thread. What!

Any sex in the restroom stories?
actually I had sex in the restroom at work once. there's a thread about it somewhere. ok, it was sex with myself, but still!

[Bob]

overruled.

is overruled spelled with 2 r's, or just 1?

have seeeeeex Bob!!! then you can tell us all about it in this thread. tell me where you live and i'll break you in...

i live 40 minutes from you








i know that makes me sound like a stalker so i'll tell you how i know that -- i typed "boston ma to salem ma" into google maps

please don't call the cops

[GreenEarthAl]

Today my hot new girlfriend put my hand on her boob.

After the age of 14 the longest I went without sex was 4+ years when I was celibate. I used to talk about it on here I think. Before I met Heather. And everyone would be all like "OKAY We get it, you're celibate, and don't eat meat, and don't own a car, and don't drink/smoke/use or take meds... if we ever WANT advice on how to not have any fun, we'll call you okay."

[Bob]

Today my hot new girlfriend put my hand on her boob.

After the age of 14 the longest I went without sex was 4+ years when I was celibate. I used to talk about it on here I think. Before I met Heather. And everyone would be all like "OKAY We get it, you're celibate, and don't eat meat, and don't own a car, and don't drink/smoke/use or take meds... if we ever WANT advice on how to not have any fun, we'll call you okay."

ok, we get it, you're polyamorous, you have a job that makes you sexy, you don't need drink/smoke/meds to have fun, if i need any advice on how to live, i'll call you ok

[GreenEarthAl]

Bite me.

[HOTWIFE]

i live 40 minutes from you

i know that makes me sound like a stalker so i'll tell you how i know that -- i typed "boston ma to salem ma" into google maps

please don't call the cops
i could sooo get there in 20 minutes TOPS

i've always wanted to break in a virgin. i never got my chance.

stalker.

[Miho]

actually I had sex in the restroom at work once. there's a thread about it somewhere. ok, it was sex with myself, but still!

SEX. OK, that will do.

[Bob]

Bite me.

i was trying to be funny, sorry

i could sooo get there in 20 minutes TOPS

i've always wanted to break in a virgin. i never got my chance.

stalker.

well if you ever change your mind, i figure you've got a good 20 years left

[HOTWIFE]

Today my hot new girlfriend put my hand on her boob.

After the age of 14 the longest I went without sex was 4+ years when I was celibate. I used to talk about it on here I think. Before I met Heather. And everyone would be all like "OKAY We get it, you're celibate, and don't eat meat, and don't own a car, and don't drink/smoke/use or take meds... if we ever WANT advice on how to not have any fun, we'll call you okay."
i bet you didn't own a tv either

[HOTWIFE]

well if you ever change your mind, i figure you've got a good 20 years left
well i'll be single soon enough. excuse me, divorced is the correct term.

20 yrs Bob? pfft. 18 TOPS.

[Bob]

i was trying to be funny, sorry




because your post was all "if you want advice on how not to have fun, call me", whereas your current life seems to be pretty awesome, so i was trying to be clever by pointing out how things have reversed, only instead of saying "if i ever want advice on how to have fun" i said "if i ever want advice on how to live" for some reason which now that i look back looks pretty darn condescending

i'm drunk on a wednesday though, have mercy

[Bob]

well i'll be single soon enough. excuse me, divorced is the correct term.

20 yrs Bob? pfft. 18 TOPS.

40 year old virgin...yeah i could deal with that

i'm killing myself at year 43 though, so you better not be lying

also you'd better not be ugly 18 years from now

[HOTWIFE]

40 year old virgin...yeah i could deal with that

i'm killing myself at year 43 though, so you better not be lying

also you'd better not be ugly 18 years from now
let's see 18 yrs from now i'll be 45. christ kill me now.

i'm pretty sure i'll be lookin ok, my mom's 53 and gaaaawgeous

[GreenEarthAl]

i bet you didn't own a tv either

I owned a tv and used to post about what was on the tv and I even used to understand all of the tv references back then. Basically, I've traded celibacy for tv. And I'd do so again. My new girlfriend Christine has a tv. She watches Sex in the City. It hurts my brain. TV really sketches me out a lot after going so long without it. I'm all: Can't we just have Sex in the Bedroom.

[GreenEarthAl]

because your post was all "if you want advice on how not to have fun, call me", whereas your current life seems to be pretty awesome, so i was trying to be clever by pointing out how things have reversed, only instead of saying "if i ever want advice on how to have fun" i said "if i ever want advice on how to live" for some reason which now that i look back looks pretty darn condescending

i'm drunk on a wednesday though, have mercy

I got it. I LOLd. Thanks. Life is purdy derned fun these days. Some tv show emailed us and asked us if we wanted to go on tv about being polyamorous. But we haven't heard back from them since we said 'Yeah, sure.'

[HOTWIFE]

I owned a tv and used to post about what was on the tv and I even used to understand all of the tv references back then. Basically, I've traded celibacy for tv. And I'd do so again. My new girlfriend Christine has a tv. She watches Sex in the City. It hurts my brain. TV really sketches me out a lot after going so long without it. I'm all: Can't we just have Sex in the Bedroom.
i really feel like just throwing my tv out the window sometimes. really, i'm not glued to it or anything but why the heck do i sit there and waste so much time when i could be doing other shtuff

i haven't seen you on here in sooo long.

[zorra_chiflada]

It's the myth... the holy grail of masturbation. If you can break seven in one day, you are a true master-bator.

I've never managed it myself.

i think i've told everyone about my 16 in one day. yep. yep.

[Lo_Lyfe]

I'd never heard about it, zorra. Have now.

[QueenAdrock]

February 22 :(

I don't masturbate, really. Most I've had sexy time is 6 times in 12 hours. It hurt to walk after.

[SB00774]

i've always wanted to break in a virgin. i never got my chance.



I'll fight you for it!

i'm drunk on a wednesday though, have mercy

Moi aussi - sexytime could have prevented this though :(

[sercomdj01]

I need sex. Sucks been at home in leeds. Back to uni satuday(y)

[GreenEarthAl]

i really feel like just throwing my tv out the window sometimes. really, i'm not glued to it or anything but why the heck do i sit there and waste so much time when i could be doing other shtuff

i haven't seen you on here in sooo long.

Yeah. You know me: busy (http://myrapnameisalex.com/), busy (http://www.cafepress.com/amprosoft.18419795), busy (http://www.amprosoft.com/Journal/).

[HOTWIFE]

Yeah. You know me: busy (http://myrapnameisalex.com/), busy (http://www.cafepress.com/amprosoft.18419795), busy (http://www.amprosoft.com/Journal/).
wow i guess so..good for you duuuuuude

i remember your e-book. i read it, good stuff. even though i don't remember what it was about, i remember i liked it!

[mikizee]

hey hotwife....ave a look at the boobies thread... thats me.

fly over to australia, dammit.

[HOTWIFE]

hey hotwife....ave a look at the boobies thread... thats me.

fly over to australia, dammit.
holy fuck is right. don't tempt me i just might.

i just made a rhyme!

your new name as of today is HOTAUSSIE.

[mikizee]

woohoo! i was serious, u know. have a holiday. u need it.

[HOTWIFE]

woohoo! i was serious, u know. have a holiday. u need it.
you don't even know how bad i need it


hehe

[mikizee]

fuckit. where do u live again?

*packs bags*

[Lex Diamonds]

*blesses self*

What has this board become?! :(

[HOTWIFE]

fuckit. where do u live again?

*packs bags*
oooh goodie

hey you don't even know what i look like do you? you can be surprised...

[Rock]

.
are you going to change your screen name after you get a divorce?

[mikizee]

surprised shmurprised.

[HOTWIFE]

are you going to change your screen name after you get a divorce?
yeah, there's a thread all about it.

[Lyman Zerga]

im sitting here and waiting for more details

[Lex Diamonds]

Come on it, get on it
I'm carving through a letterbomb
I need it, like potions
These drugs are just an hour away.