hey boys, how do you like...

[Dorothy Wood]

your handjob?

I've always heard that it's not that great of a thing because you've perfected it yourself already.

what are the top mistakes girls (or boys) make?
what makes an outstanding one?
balls?

see, I think I'm doing a horrible job because I haven't really actively given any for years...but me and dude are taking it slow, so you know, I'd still like to you know, offer some...stuff....


:o

[ScarySquirrel]

I'd agree with what you'd heard... handjobs are pretty boring for the most part. I can't imagine them being all that thrilling for the lady either. I mean, hey, we've got that part figured out ourselves!

[na§tee]

i have always said i don't really understand the point of a hand job on its own (unless, er, you were under a time limit or something, i guess) i mean, they can do that themselves. a blow job, well, obviously, they can't. unless they're, like, prince or have 6 ribs removed.

a hand job and a blow job united in harmony, however? now we're talking (y)

[na§tee]

balls?
LOL.

that cracked me up for some reason. i said it in a 'more tea, vicar?' voice in my head. hmm, balls? on the side, some balls please? no? okay then.

[Lex Diamonds]

a hand job and a blow job united in harmony, however? now we're talking (y)
You knows it!

A handjob can be good in a situation where time/space restrains you from doing other stuff, plus a bit of mutual hand fucking before head/sex is always good. It's all about communication though, because it's good to go fast sometimes but you don't want him to blow his load before you've moved onto the real juicy stuff, so you need to be told when to slow down or leave it for a minute.

[Schmeltz]

it's good to go fast sometimes but you don't want him to blow his load before you've moved onto the real juicy stuff

Sounds like you've got a fair bit of experience giving these out, eh.

[Dorothy Wood]

You knows it!

A handjob can be good in a situation where time/space restrains you from doing other stuff, plus a bit of mutual hand fucking before head/sex is always good. It's all about communication though, because it's good to go fast sometimes but you don't want him to blow his load before you've moved onto the real juicy stuff, so you need to be told when to slow down or leave it for a minute.


no no, see I want the load blown because there isn't going to be any "real juicy stuff". yet.

also I know how to do the juicy bits, ha, but thanks for trying.

[bigblu89]

a hand job and a blow job united in harmony, however? now we're talking (y)

Pretty much what I was going to say.

The only way a handjob is good is if you use your mouth.

[roosta]

i can't bring myself to type out an answer bout how i like my hand-jobs.

just seems wrong.

[HOTWIFE]

i can't bring myself to type out an answer bout how i like my hand-jobs.

just seems wrong.
COME OOOOOOOON

[Dorothy Wood]

i can't bring myself to type out an answer bout how i like my hand-jobs.

just seems wrong.


ha ha. maybe you could type it out in third person?


so far, you all seem to think that handjobs on their own are worthless. interesting. I thought as much, but I thought maybe there'd be some other opinions.

I'm not going to go down under just yet anyway, as I'm recovering from a recent cold sore break out and nobody wants mouth herpes on their weiner. it's healed up mostly, but I don't want to take any chances.

[HEIRESS]

it's all about the tip

tip
tip
tip

[ET]

Ew, yeah I don't want to get too specific with my own experiences but I'll share a few tips since you're asking a message board about wanking tips.

1.) Balls; hold them!
2.) Lubrication; I'm not talking Jergens here, ok? Usethe Wet brand. (http://www.coolnurse.com/images/wet.jpg) The light kind seems to work pretty well and it's not just for hand jobs so you'll get some use out of it.
3.) Focus on the Head; Only 50% of your time should be spent on the shaft. Once things get going just focus on the head. Depends on how big his junk is though.
4.) Communicate; You don't have to and shouldn't talk the whole time but try to get him to at least give you some pointers. Everyone likes different speeds etc.

[Lex Diamonds]

Sounds like you've got a fair bit of experience giving these out, eh.
Nah, I've just got used to hot girls grabbing my dick all the time.

[DandyFop]

Ew, yeah I don't want to get too specific with my own experiences but I'll share a few tips since you're asking a message board about wanking tips.

1.) Balls; hold them!
2.) Lubrication; I'm not talking Jergens here, ok? Usethe Wet brand. (http://www.coolnurse.com/images/wet.jpg) The light kind seems to work pretty well and it's not just for hand jobs so you'll get some use out of it.
3.) Focus on the Head; Only 50% of your time should be spent on the shaft. Once things get going just focus on the head. Depends on how big his junk is though.
4.) Communicate; You don't have to and shouldn't talk the whole time but try to get him to at least give you some pointers. Everyone likes different speeds etc.

ET's best post e'er

handjobs are for teenagers pfffff

[abcdefz]

Bullshit. It can be a real pleasure for the guy and girl if they're both into it.

I always thought it was sexy as hell when masturbation would start just because the woman wanted to touch me or fondle or cup me or whatever. A woman who is actually into dick is pretty sexy.

[DandyFop]

I like bjs more

*shrug*

[Lex Diamonds]

ET's best post e'er

handjobs are for teenagers pfffff
Haha, DandyFop is a lesbian. Doesn't like touching dick = definite cock-dodger.

[Lex Diamonds]

I like bjs more

*shrug*
Everything has its place. If you aint doing them all, you aint doing it right.

[abcdefz]

If you aint doing them all, you aint doing it right.



Waaalllll.... let's not be hasty. If she suggests going to the kitchen for the butter, you probably want to decline.

[DandyFop]

what? how did this turn into that? I mean the "purely handjob, no mouth touching at all yada yada innocent" is more high school years than the "combined sweet and savory handjob quickly accompanyed by saliva and mouth" thing. Make sense now?

[Rock]

1.) Balls; hold them!
2.) Lubrication; I'm not talking Jergens here, ok? Usethe Wet brand. (http://www.coolnurse.com/images/wet.jpg) The light kind seems to work pretty well and it's not just for hand jobs so you'll get some use out of it.

Balls should not just be held, they should carefully be played with. Just holding them is like.....whatever.

Not a fan of the handjob, but lube makes them much better.

But yeah....what he said.

[ET]

Haha, DandyFop is a lesbian. Doesn't like touching dick = definite cock-dodger.

B-b-but I like bjs more too.:(

Oh yeah, BALL MASSAGING. I was going to include that but it's for the pros. Also, ball sucking. FDASFD

[roosta]

they definitely have their merits.

[Lex Diamonds]

All this asking for advice and preparation seems to me to be against what handjobs stand for. A lot of the fun of them for me is that they're usually spontaneous and that, plus the anticipation of where it might lead to, is where the excitement comes from. As well as the feeling that the woman is taking control (joystick lol), that's kinda cool in a way.

[ET]

But that's from the perspective of getting them. When a girl really knows her stuff is half the battle. We need to make this woman a dick sucking pro ASAP!

[DandyFop]

I think it would be hard (lol) to be bad at this kind of thing. Not trying to toot my own horn, I'm just saying in general you can usually tell if someone is enjoying or REALLY enjoying. Mehhh I donno.

[abcdefz]

what? how did this turn into that? I mean the "purely handjob, no mouth touching at all yada yada innocent" is more high school years than the "combined sweet and savory handjob quickly accompanyed by saliva and mouth" thing. Make sense now?


I think it was because the thread was, essentially, "Are hand jobs a waste of time?" They're not having intercourse and she got some mouth sores broken out, so it sounds like hand job or nothing.

But even without that context, are hand jobs a waste? I was jumping in saying no. I think you sound dismissive of them altogether. That doesn't make you gay, but it does sound like, in your arsenal, there's one less item in your tool box, so to speak.

Suppose a guy liked going down on a woman, but didn't like using his fingers to stimulate her? Kind of like that.

[Rock]

All this asking for advice and preparation seems to me to be against what handjobs stand for. A lot of the fun of them for me is that they're usually spontaneous and that, plus the anticipation of where it might lead to, is where the excitement comes from. As well as the feeling that the woman is taking control (joystick lol), that's kinda cool in a way.
Yeah, I guess thats right.
Handjob on its own = (y) (n) .
Stroking it when getting ready to scrump = (y)

This is the first time I heard of anyone over the age of 14 "planning" to dish out a handjob. But (y) to taking it slow.

there are a lot of thumbs in this post.

[Lex Diamonds]

If she suggests going to the kitchen for the butter, you probably want to decline.
Sorry, I don't understand?

[DandyFop]

This is really stupid that I'm annoyed by this. I didn't say I don't give handjobs people. I said they remind me of high school. I would never jump the gun into oral pleasure, duh, but just "handjobs are the line and I won't cross it" is what I was thinking and that gives me flashbacks.

[beastieangel01]

road head is better.

[abcdefz]

Sorry, I don't understand?



Did you ever see Last Tango in Paris?

Marlo Brando asks Maria Shriver (sp?) to clip her nails, then go get the butter. Then she works his anus.

[DandyFop]

I really like that I'm attempting to defend myself in this thread. :(

[Rock]

Nevermind.

[Lex Diamonds]

I really like that I'm attempting to defend myself in this thread. :(
The whole point is that she is unable to give head plus has her own reasons for taking it slow in terms of sex... your dismissive comments about handjobs being for kids just make you seem kind of holier-than-thou/gay.

[DandyFop]

I guess I missed the unable to give head part, in which case a job of hand would make sense

[skra75]

I'm a fan

[ET]

road head is better.

Is there some kind of urban legend in which as road head was being presented, the guy had to slam his brakes? He then rear ended a car and upon impact his girl chomped his cock off and choked on it.

Not true, I would think. but... oww

[abcdefz]

A version of that was in The World According to Garp.

[beastieangel01]

Is there some kind of urban legend in which as road head was being presented, the guy had to slam his brakes? He then rear ended a car and upon impact his girl chomped his cock off and choked on it.

Not true, I would think. but... oww

I just wanted to say road head, really.

And I have no idea. That sounds pretty gnarley, though.

[ET]

It's not true. :eek:

Um, that kind of killed the thread...

K, make sure you update us on the grand wank. Oh, and try not to get any in your eye.

[Rock]

Oh, and try not to get any in your eye.
My friend was getting a handjob and when he spurted...he SPURTED. It flew far enough to hit his girlfriends cat in the eye. The cat began licking her paw and wiping it off....repeatedly. They both said it was true (my friend and his girlfriend, not the cat).

[-grandma-]

use both hands....
also squeezing never hurt

[DIGI]

My friend was getting a handjob and when he spurted...he SPURTED. It flew far enough to hit his girlfriends cat in the eye. The cat began licking her paw and wiping it off....repeatedly. They both said it was true (my friend and his girlfriend, not the cat).


My friend Kurt was getting a BJ from his now fiancee Alana and when he came in her mouth, she sneezed at that exact time and his load shot out through her nose and on to his stomach. Again, they both said it was true.


I received an excellent blowie last night. My girlfriend likes ballplay, which is fine by me, but I REALLY enjoy when she deepthroats me for a good 5 minutes and gets my dick all nice and slobbery and then jerks me off fast enough to make Chuck Yeager jealous. It's fantastic.

[-grandma-]

Hey you sigged me. That's awesome.

couldn't resist

[cookiepuss]

um...ther is a dildo store called good vibrations and they give a class on hand jobs. I took it. it was cool. we got to play with dildos.

anyway the key to a good hand job is a nice cold pressed almond oil or if you'll be having sex with condoms shortly afterwards then a water based lubricant. then it's kinda all about the different wrist movements and stuff. really hard to explain, I'd have to demonstrate on someone or a dildo or something.

at anyrate I've only received rave reviews on the skills I learned in the workshops...and that was coming from gents who were skeptical that I could make them come using only my hands.;)

[HOTWIFE]

and that was coming from gents who were skeptical that I could make them come using only my hands.;)
oh but it's too easy

[Dorothy Wood]

hey hey hey, everyone calm down in here! I know this is teenager stuff, and that's what's kinda cool about it. I was feeling kind of slutty before, so I'm trying to take it slow. also, because dude has been my friend for 4 years, I know he has a history of waiting to take that step with a girl.

I tried a handy last night, and nothing came to fruition. he said I was doing a good job, but I sort of think he was just being nice. also, my shoulder was hurting, so I had to stop.

so, the tip thing is a good hint. I think I'm mostly having trouble with keeping a rhythm. I have tendonitis you know. meh, maybe I'm thinking too hard.

[Rock]

then it's kinda all about the different wrist movements and stuff.
Are you talking about the twist and stroke?

[cookiepuss]

Are you talking about the twist and stroke?
yeah that's one of em.;)

[ggirlballa]

wow this must be some hardcore tickling

[tjpop]

your handjob?




I'm a fan

of it and you

[cosmo105]

My friend was getting a handjob and when he spurted...he SPURTED. It flew far enough to hit his girlfriends cat in the eye. The cat began licking her paw and wiping it off....repeatedly. They both said it was true (my friend and his girlfriend, not the cat).

My friend Kurt was getting a BJ from his now fiancee Alana and when he came in her mouth, she sneezed at that exact time and his load shot out through her nose and on to his stomach. Again, they both said it was true.


BWAHAHAHAHA

[g-mile7]

damn this thread is ridiclous

[SB00774]

http://www.handjobadvice.com/

Any of these faves or should be avoided altogether?

It has lots of the wrist technique someone mentioned.

[ET]

Fakie to Switchhitter Tail Grab 360!

[mikizee]

my ex used to do the endless tunnel to me all the time. it was sensational.

[na§tee]

i've never had a cold sore in my life. shit, i've just figured out that having one right now would be a really strategic excuse! crap, how can i get one? sarky, give me a kiss!

[Lyman Zerga]

now i feel the urge to wash my hands :confused:

[b i o n i c]

with sandpaper gloves.

and rarely hot, wet and sloppy

[Dorothy Wood]

http://www.handjobadvice.com/

Any of these faves or should be avoided altogether?

It has lots of the wrist technique someone mentioned.


HA!

[Dorothy Wood]

so, actually, I just watched all those videos and I kinda already do a lot of those things anyway. probably mostly the corkscrew thing. it seems that what's missing is the lube.

well, my confidence is up! I guess I didn't boner the boner after all. uhh.



:o

[Lo_Lyfe]

your handjob?

I've always heard that it's not that great of a thing because you've perfected it yourself already.

what are the top mistakes girls (or boys) make?
what makes an outstanding one?
balls?

see, I think I'm doing a horrible job because I haven't really actively given any for years...but me and dude are taking it slow, so you know, I'd still like to you know, offer some...stuff....


:o
Self-administered, thank you. In a relationship lady, take your mouth down south.

[cj hood]

your handjob?

I've always heard that it's not that great of a thing because you've perfected it yourself already.

what are the top mistakes girls (or boys) make?
what makes an outstanding one?
balls?

see, I think I'm doing a horrible job because I haven't really actively given any for years...but me and dude are taking it slow, so you know, I'd still like to you know, offer some...stuff....


:o

don't pull it like your trying to get a carrot out of the ground.......

[skinnybutphat]

Do it real slow with some happy penis lotion and put some sexy talk in his ear.

Then put it in your mouth at the end.

[Lex Diamonds]

i've never had a cold sore in my life. shit, i've just figured out that having one right now would be a really strategic excuse! crap, how can i get one? sarky, give me a kiss!
Woah woah woah woah hold UP. You don't like giving head??!!

You're not half the pornstar I thought you were. :(

[na§tee]

Woah woah woah woah hold UP. You don't like giving head??!!

You're not half the pornstar I thought you were. :(
NO! i love giving head. how do you think i know "hand job plus blow job now we're talking"?

i just don't want to do that, or anything else intimate, with my current boyfriend :( SEE BREAKING UP THREAD LOL.

can i still be a pornstar now? er, actually, i don't know if that's a good thing, ha.

[Lex Diamonds]

As long as you give me a blowie you can be whatever you want. (y)

[na§tee]

you certainly know how to charm the laydeez, padster!

[ET]

At least he said "blowie". Any other woman I'd think he'd say "slob on my knob".

[digweed]

warming sensation lube makes a handy worthwhile(y)

[GreenEarthAl]

You're a quality woman Kel. This is a very beautiful sentiment. We're all very happy for this guy.

(Speaking on behalf of everyone... as I am authorized to do.)

[Dorothy Wood]

i just don't want to do that, or anything else intimate, with my current boyfriend :( SEE BREAKING UP THREAD LOL.




wait, what?! I didn't see one of those. wha happened?



and thanks GEA. :o

[na§tee]

wait, what?! I didn't see one of those. wha happened?
i buried it in here (http://www.beastieboys.com/bbs/showpost.php?p=1441642&postcount=37). that was first explaining post. LOL sorry, i don't want to holocaust your handjob thread. but yeah. that's the biz. and the reason why i want you to infect me with your cold sore, haha.

[Dorothy Wood]

ack, oh geez. well, sorry to hear that my dear, but it makes a lot of sense. it's an awful heart-wrenching sort of thing, but if it's not right, it's not right.

*gives herpes*

:)

[g-mile7]

NO! i love giving head. how do you think i know "hand job plus blow job now we're talking"?

i just don't want to do that, or anything else intimate, with my current boyfriend :( SEE BREAKING UP THREAD LOL.

can i still be a pornstar now? er, actually, i don't know if that's a good thing, ha.
Come 2 Cali.




This thread on sum bangbros shit and thats no good

[R. Kelly]

small hands....get me?

[ericlee]

one day i was standing around and I kept getting flies on my belly. The only thing I could think of was to let my wang out and flex it to swat at the flies and it felt so so good.

The next thing I know, I drive by some farms and I see horses doing the same thing except for they've created a masturbation technique from it.

[mikizee]

A day in the life of ericlee.

[zorra_chiflada]

guys really like being punched, or even karate chopped right in the testicles. right in there. a good ole thwack. yep. he'll be yours forever.

[Bob]

guys really like being punched, or even karate chopped right in the testicles. right in there. a good ole thwack. yep. he'll be yours forever.

sometimes you need to change it up and try a thwock now and then

[befsquire]

i never tried to perfect such a thing because i always just wanted it in my mouth. now i'm wondering if i should watch those "how to" videos.

but then again, if i started giving a handjob, i'd want to be fucked by that hard dick, and so i think it would be in my best interest to not have him come. tis a dilemma.

but it's very good for your situation, sarky, and i think it's rather sweet with the whole taking it slow thing.

:)

[ET]

i never tried to perfect such a thing because i always just wanted it in my mouth. now i'm wondering if i should watch those "how to" videos.

but then again, if i started giving a handjob, i'd want to be fucked by that hard dick...

Oh my God, don't let gmile see this.

[Dorothy Wood]

X RATED!!!!!!!

[befsquire]

sorry, i don't come in pg-13.

[Lyman Zerga]

when shes a porn star then im a hooker (y)