I love having sex

[sercomdj01]

Its amazing isn't it. Really honestly! I mean come on. Whats better to do? The soft feeling a skin, the tender moments at the start. The numerous positions and mind blowing orgasm. Who wants more? Sex is too taboo. People should have random sex more...yeah sex is ace.
mmm sex.

[Teh]

Dear Dan,

beyond any shard of doubt, you are a wanker.

Yours Sincerely,

Tim.

[sercomdj01]

Dear Dan,

beyond any shard of doubt, you are a wanker.

Yours Sincerely,

Tim.

Sex not wanking! don't drag this thread down timmy.

[QueenAdrock]

Random sex will make your weiner fall off from gonorrhea.

Sex with someone who's in tune to exactly what makes you tick is ace.

[HOTWIFE]

is this like, a mock sex thread

[Big Gus]

There's been a lot of sex threads of late. It should be amalgamated into one big thread about shagging or something.

[sercomdj01]

is this like, a mock sex thread

It wans't meant to be. I was just thinking can't wait to be in uni back in the game tommorow.

[digweed]

tis bloody good

[tjpop]

don't drag this thread down timmy.

he already killed it. this thread was much better when I originally thought you were a chick.

but it's still funny. you were trying to be funny, right?

[sercomdj01]

he already killed it. this thread was much better when I originally thought you were a chick.

but it's still funny. you were trying to be funny, right?

Fanny farts are the funny part of sex.

Its like the perfect movie. They're the sexy character. The exciting Character and the funny character which is of course the fanny fart.

[Big Gus]

Is this normal sex or.. you know, some kind of freaky shit?

[sercomdj01]

Is this normal sex or.. you know, some kind of freaky shit?

Have you never heard a fanny fart? You never frust enough???

[Big Gus]

Yeah I've heard a fanny fart. I prefer a less cavernous fanny than one that can hold a big fanny fart though, to be honest.

[Dorothy Wood]

Yeah I've heard a fanny fart. I prefer a less cavernous fanny than one that can hold a big fanny fart though, to be honest.


LOL

[sercomdj01]

Yeah I've heard a fanny fart. I prefer a less cavernous fanny than one that can hold a big fanny fart though, to be honest.

Its not the depth its the size of the lips. And big lips are good. YOu need to learn more about the fanny.

[na§tee]

LOL
DITTO.

gus, i think cheryl cole has a bucket fanny :(

[funk63]

fanny as in ass right?

and ya, sex, good stuff.

[ET]

In other news, oxygen is good for you.

[TAL]

fanny as in ass right?
No. It's pretty much only in the US that people think fanny means ass.

[mikizee]

fanny fart - vagina fart.

hilarious.

[Bob]

No. It's pretty much only in the US that people think fanny means ass.

in the states, fanny means your ass...not your minge

*eats scotch egg*

[ToucanSpam]

A little bit of fanny fun, eh?



I'm having the same disturbance in the Force that Bef had a few days ago in the FA...

[Bob]

A little bit of fanny fun, eh?



I'm having the same disturbance in the Force that Bef had a few days ago in the FA...

what?

[Dorothy Wood]

in the states, fanny means your ass...not your minge

*eats scotch egg*


(y)

[Dorothy Wood]

I think toucan means he's having trouble with his vagina.

[ToucanSpam]

You're both morons.

[Bob]

what?

[Dorothy Wood]

oh shit bob, somebody who capitalizes "force" just called us morons.

[Bob]

oh shit bob, somebody who capitalizes "force" just called us morons.

i don't mean to be mean but i've literally never been less offended by an insult

[ToucanSpam]

I know you two fruits read the Family Album.

[Dorothy Wood]

okay, but what does that have to do with anything?

[g-mile7]

Damn another sex thread...hahaha horny muthapluckas

[Bob]

you abbreviated "family album"?

and you capitalized Force

i dunno what to...where to...i dunno

[Dorothy Wood]

OH! I thought "FA" was the beginning of you saying "FANNY", but trailing off instead.

I like that better. because even if it allegedly stands for "family album", I still don't get what it means.

[sercomdj01]

PUSSY FARTS

:mad:

[Pres Zount]

Stuff that, bob and dorothy have a great thing going here.

[na§tee]

*eats scotch egg*
yesssssss my secret fetish has successfully implanted itself in bob's big brain (y)

[b i o n i c]

im assuming whomever isnt posting here is getting laid right now.

[Carlos]

oh shit bob, somebody who capitalizes "force" just called us morons.


:D

[ToucanSpam]

Whatever, neither of them is in any position to dish out any kind of insult.


One of them makes 5 threads a day about a new guy they will inevitably fail at courting and the other is Bob. I know they know what I'm talking about, too. Sercomdj knows too.

[roosta]

Whatever, neither of them is in any position to dish out any kind of insult.


One of them makes 5 threads a day about a new guy they will inevitably fail at courting and the other is Bob. I know they know what I'm talking about, too. Sercomdj knows too.

let me know

[Pres Zount]

They are in the perfect position to dish out insults; internet.

Also, they are really good ones.

[funk63]

pussies.. do they, can they, really fart?:confused:

[zorra_chiflada]

who is now picturing sercome having sex, with his curly hair bouncing about? :(




make it stop :(

[sercomdj01]

who is now picturing sercome having sex, with his curly hair bouncing about? :(




make it stop :(

u know u love it!

[Rock On]

Its amazing isn't it. Really honestly! I mean come on. Whats better to do? The soft feeling a skin, the tender moments at the start. The numerous positions and mind blowing orgasm. Who wants more? Sex is too taboo. People should have random sex more...yeah sex is ace.
mmm sex.

You come off as really young and inexperienced.

[Big Gus]

Its not the depth its the size of the lips. And big lips are good. YOu need to learn more about the fanny.

Ahah. Shut up. I'm 33 years old. I've had plenty of time to get to know the fanny. It's all about the lips? LOL. I think any girl can queef I don't think it's just about the lips.

[Teh]

HAPPY 1000 GUS!!


oh my god. its saturday. gay.


Yeah, Dan, just because a girl touched your penis don't make you no expert.

Just saying...

[Dorothy Wood]

Sercomdj knows too.


I know you know that he knows because this whole thread is about you. and your incredible fanny.

[paul jones]

I've been having some sex recently and it's brilliant
(y)

[Lyman Zerga]

doesnt the penis pump in air so that it makes weird noises?

[mikizee]

i received the BEST blowjob of my life last night. she was very talented. it went for about 45 mins. then we had awesome sex. then i got another fantastic blowjob. it was amazing.

i mean GOD DAMN

[Dorothy Wood]

45 minutes, good lord! that's just ridiculous.

[mikizee]

if its rediculous then i want rediculous blowjobs every day.

[roosta]

did her boobs feel like bags of sand?

[ET]

It's not rediculous unless there's ATM.

[mikizee]

cant say they did. i dont get it.


randetica - u are correct. some positions like doggy will naturally pump in some air which eventually, will have to come out. with sexy results!!!







edit: before you go saying 'you think fanny farts are sexy??' the sexy results bit is a simpsons reference. only queenadrock i think would get it.

[Lo_Lyfe]

A great deal of sex is pretty much just masturbating inside of/on somebody else.

Not all of it, though.

[Lo_Lyfe]

edit: before you go saying 'you think fanny farts are sexy??' the sexy results bit is a simpsons reference. only queenadrock i think would get it.
Yes. Queenadrock being the first person to see the Simpsons, and you being the second, and the two of you being the only ones, I think you're right.

[cosmo105]

BREAKING NEWS

Sex Found to be Enjoyable


More at 11

[Lo_Lyfe]

BREAKING NEWS

Sex Found to be Enjoyable


More at 11
BBMB VETERAN ONE SARCASTIC REPLY TOO LATE SHOCKER!!!!

[mikizee]

well everytime i post some simpsons reference no one gets it but queenadrock. so im going on past experience. i dont doubt, kidP, that you are a seasoned simpsons veteran. im sorry for underestimating your intelligence.

now lets get back to talking about how amazing in bed i was last night.

[Lo_Lyfe]

now lets get back to talking about how amazing in bed i was last night.
Did I find your performance selfish, or clumsy?

[mikizee]

im confused.

[sercomdj01]

i only posted this when i was bored and there were like another 100000 sex threads. I just did it to amuse myself. WTF everyones sex mad today.

[g-mile7]

It's not rediculous unless there's ATM.
Then its nasty...chicks out their damn minds





What happened to Sex or acts being associated with it being a private, personal thing? I dont give a damn if its tha net, damn theres no need 4 individual threads about it. Its not just your thread homie,as U said yours is not tha only one (hand 2 joystick combat was tha other).

[Lyman Zerga]

i received the BEST blowjob of my life last night. she was very talented. it went for about 45 mins. then we had awesome sex. then i got another fantastic blowjob. it was amazing.

i mean GOD DAMN


guess i can change my sig now

[Lyman Zerga]

Then its nasty...chicks out their damn minds





What happened to Sex or acts being associated with it being a private, personal thing? I dont give a damn if its tha net, damn theres no need 4 individual threads about it. Its not just your thread homie,as U said yours is not tha only one (hand 2 joystick combat was tha other).


youre the master of TMI

[mikizee]

guess i can change my sig now

NOOOOO!!!!

[Lex Diamonds]

did her boobs feel like bags of sand?
Haha. (y)

[Dorothy Wood]

my boobs feel like a sack of potato chips.

[na§tee]

mikizee, how, pray, did you manage to, er, shoot your load as it were after this mythical blow job and still be able to have sex afterwards? and then do it again? are you a REPEATED ORGASM MAN MACHINE?

[Lex Diamonds]

He probably didn't spaff his man milk til the final blowjob. Like a preliminary knob-slobbering, so to speak.

[/charm]

[na§tee]

ahhh. i see. such class as always from you, padster. spaff his man milk! /swoon.

okay, nothing to see here, carry on carry on...

[mikizee]

mikizee, how, pray, did you manage to, er, shoot your load as it were after this mythical blow job and still be able to have sex afterwards? and then do it again? are you a REPEATED ORGASM MAN MACHINE?

i dont come from blowjobs. never have. u could be down there for hours, and while it feels awesome, id never ever blow. it takes me aaaaages, like a good hour of sex before im even close.

[Lex Diamonds]

*belches*

[Lex Diamonds]

i dont come from blowjobs. never have. u could be down there for hours, and while it feels awesome, id never ever blow. it takes me aaaaages, like a good hour of sex before im even close.
I'm kinda like that. On my birthday my girlfriend sucked me off for about an hour and it was amazing so I didn't wanna blow it. She was determined to finish the job though so put in some extra effort. The next day she was still complaining abour her aching arms and neck. (y)

[Dorothy Wood]

this morning when the alarm clock rang, I thought I was going to get some booty because I was like, "hey hey, you have to wake up, silly goose!" and he said, "I'll wake you up!" *snorzle snorzle* but then we both immediately fell back asleep. :o

[mikizee]

its funny when i tell girls that and they just say 'well we'll see about that!!! that will change soon!!!' then an hour later they are complaining about how sore their jaw and mouth are. happens every time.

[Lex Diamonds]

its funny when i tell girls that and they just say 'well we'll see about that!!! that will change soon!!!' then an hour later they are complaining about how sore their jaw and mouth are. happens every time.
Haha word. (y)

[Otis Driftwood]

If you'd been less of a lazy bum you'd have skullfucked the bitch!

[mikizee]

If you'd been less of a lazy bum you'd have skullfucked the bitch!

i nevr said i didnt.

[Dorothy Wood]

jesus, those girls are dedicated. and you guys must have a lot of time on your hands to be lying around getting multiple 45min-hour long blow jobs, then having sex for more hours, and then getting more blow jobs. goodness!

[Lex Diamonds]

jesus, those girls are dedicated. and you guys must have a lot of time on your hands to be lying around getting multiple 45min-hour long blow jobs, then having sex for more hours, and then getting more blow jobs. goodness!
On my birthday this year I got woken up at 8.30am with an hour long blowjob, then we stayed off college sitting around in dressing gowns and had sex 4 times. (y)

[mikizee]

thats the one thing ive always wanted but never gotten, a blowjob wake up.

that would be ace.

[Dorothy Wood]

an hour? I mean, I can't even imagine. that would be so fucking boring.

[b i o n i c]

at least as boring as going down on a chick for 15 minutes.

[Dorothy Wood]

:rolleyes:

at least you don't have to move your head up and down constantly and be in an awkward position. you can totally lay down and hang out down there.

[Lex Diamonds]

an hour? I mean, I can't even imagine. that would be so fucking boring.
Nah, I was watching TV at the same time.

[beastieangel01]

a long blowjob is not so boring if you keep it interesting.

just sayin.

[b i o n i c]

:rolleyes:

at least you don't have to move your head up and down constantly and be in an awkward position. you can totally lay down and hang out down there.

neither does the chick all the time if she's really good.

[Lex Diamonds]

thats the one thing ive always wanted but never gotten, a blowjob wake up.

that would be ace.
Drop a hint on your next birthday, it works. :)

[Dorothy Wood]

neither does the chick all the time if she's really good.

or if your weiner's really small.

[b i o n i c]

or if your weiner's really small.


whatchu talkin 'bout, woodie?

[Dorothy Wood]

well, you could just lay there and put the whole thing in your mouth without too much strain and just roll it around like a jolly rancher. your tiny weiner that is.

[b i o n i c]

yes, its true... im working with a two incher here. still, no reason to be fraidy of chicks with deepthroat skills. there are guys who love getting lollypop licker bjs

[skra75]

woh, no bro. this thread is starting to make me barf a little.

[Otis Driftwood]

well, you could just lay there and put the whole thing in your mouth without too much strain and just roll it around like a jolly rancher. your tiny weiner that is.
Aaargh, please don't. I hate it when women talk about their sexual experiences with short dicked men. How could they? Is there anything they will not hit?

[b i o n i c]

woh, no bro. this thread is starting to make me barf a little.

refer to page 1-9 if you really need to gag yourself

everyday is a winding road...

[Dorothy Wood]

Aaargh, please don't. I hate it when women talk about their sexual experiences with short dicked men. How could they? Is there anything they will not hit?


ha ha ha hahhah. that never happened, I'm just guessing.

[Otis Driftwood]

Lucky you. What's even more evil is when girls POINT OUT the small penised people they had sex with. AND YOU KNOW THEM. Not their dicks, well at least not 'til you heard the size approximization... (n)

[mikizee]

I bumped this thread for no particular reason.

[Dorothy Wood]

pervert!

I still don't know what toucanspam was talking about on the first page. I guess the mystery will never be solved. :(

[mikizee]

pervert!

I still don't know what toucanspam was talking about on the first page. I guess the mystery will never be solved. :(


Wanna make out?

[SB00774]

everyday is a winding road...


Why did you do that - now I'll hear that song when I think about sex :(

I'm ruined.

[sercomdj01]

Why is this retarded thread still existing?

[Big Gus]

I dunno but the first post is comedy gold!

[Dorothy Wood]

Wanna make out?

you say that to all the girls!

hey, is it true that australians call people cactuses (cacti?) when they are being quiet?

[mikizee]

you say that to all the girls!

hey, is it true that australians call people cactuses (cacti?) when they are being quiet?

I've never heard of it.

[Bob]

I've never heard of it.

surely you're putting us on the barbie! gotta be larfin

[mikizee]

crikey

[Bob]

chazwazzers!

[mikizee]

be-er.

[QueenAdrock]

The best part of that one was the Prime Minister in the inner tube.

[mikizee]

i liked the father of the aussie boy who racked up the phone bill.


900 DOLLARIDOOS????

[befsquire]

I still don't know what toucanspam was talking about on the first page. I guess the mystery will never be solved. :(
family album, page 742, but you gotta look somewhere around 741 or 740 for context to the post that i quoted and then it went on for a few pages.

there is no way an hour long blow job can be kept interesting. i couldn't and wouldn't do it for an hour. plus, bobby can barely last 5 minutes, since i'm absolutely fantastic at what i do.

*cues vomiting*

[mikizee]

an hour long blowjob is heaven. just lie back, shut yr eyes, and enjoy the show. ive had some amazing BJs but i have never ever cum close to climax. *shrug*

[befsquire]

maybe you just can't.

right now, i have a fear of swallowing from an "incident." i'll overcome it soon. but it doesn't taste good, regardless. i think you have to drink pineapple juice for DAYS, maybe weeks, for that to happen.

[mikizee]

i read that the pineapple juice is a myth.

a few girls have swallowed me, and i dont know if they were telling the truth or not, but they were all surprised at how not bad i tasted. none of them ran off to the toilet.

TMI? i think so.

[befsquire]

i have never vomited from swallowing.

[mikizee]

soooo.... buttsex.... any chicks dig it?

[befsquire]

i'm pretty, so i don't have to do that.

[mikizee]

i'm pretty, so i don't have to do that.

hahaha classic.

[roosta]

im never clicking on a sex thread again

[befsquire]

at least i didn't post links to photos. for that, you should rejoice.

[mikizee]

you have photos??

[ET]

at least i didn't post links to photos. for that, you should rejoice.


I told you never to use those against me! It was a phase. :mad:

[P of R]

I figured I should post something as I haven't been on a while, and this is the right thread for it.

Sex is groovy. At least if you're a super-spunky, rock-hard sex machine like I am.





(y)

[befsquire]

I told you never to use those against me! It was a phase. :mad:
next time, remove all evidence.




hi p of r!

[P of R]

Hello, ma'am.

[HOTWIFE]

P of R..you should post a pic. i remember i liked lookin at you.

edit: but i don't remember what you look like

[beastieangel01]

he's nice looking.

[skra75]

* audience surpsrise sfx *
* audience laughing *
* arsenio hall show w00t w00t sfx *
* audience awww sfx *

[mikizee]

I had a threesome last night. It was rad.


Just sayin.

[Lex Diamonds]

What? How?

[mikizee]

ok ok. so this chick ive been fucking lately told me shes never had a threesome, and really wanted to try it. I said, what, 2 girls or 2 guys? she said both!!! i said well hook it up, baby!! grab a friend!!! she said that her best friend who is bi wont be back in adelaide til august, but in the meantime she wanted to have a mmf 3some.

which is no big deal, me and my best mate have done it before. so i called him up and said 'fancy a spitroast?' and since he hasnt had a root in about 18 months the poor bugger he said 'fuck yeah!!'

so last night i drove her round there, and we fucked her silly. that is to say, she fucked US silly. i had a very good sleep last night.

[Bob]

i jerked off 3 times yesterday

it was....not worth the trouble in the end

[Lex Diamonds]

I would never do the two guy threesome... I don't want some other guy giving it to my woman in front of me, plus I don't wanna see my mates on the job... shit is just weird.

But when you get the two girl one, make a video and send it to me and I'd be more than happy to give you feedback and tips. (y)

[Big Gus]

Yeah same here. I'm no prude but I'd be uncomfortable around a male friends erection.

[mikizee]

Well weve been best mates since 1991, so this may sound weird but it didnt feel like any different than sitting down and drinking a beer together - very casual. and u dont tend to focus on what your mate is doing, your too busy copping a BJ and staring at the ceiling, thinking 'christ almighty!!!'

[JesusChrist]

Did someone call me?

[zorra_chiflada]

christ almighty

[P of R]

P of R..you should post a pic. i remember i liked lookin at you.

edit: but i don't remember what you look like

Not right now, my glands are all swollen. Maybe later this year.

[mikizee]

no sex tonight. bugger.