Rawr
04-21-2007, 08:08 AM
What the fuck?
I just realised the most fucking insane thing that happend to me not that long ago........i didnt realise what was happening than till now.. at 5:35 am in the morning from long high insomnia....
well...
basically to give the basic view of this experience, it was like fight club....
before when i first saw the movie it made me realise a lot of things about my childhood problems with conflicting contridary elemtns. it was an amazing movie until i realised my fasination with the whole split personality and how i use to feel like that as a kid, i didnt realise it could come back....
i dont know if this is making any sense so far, but im freaked out. on the bus not to long ago, for some reason when i got up to the deck i for some reason swung my body to the empty chair to my right, where this tall gangly guy was chilling, and a few minutes after the bus passed a few stops, he started figetting around a lot and kept moving around none stop as if he was about to get off at the next stop... i was getting really nervous like i had to get up or not when he did, he'd suddenly jump up and then i would panic and throw myself up at almost before he does and then he'd suddenly sit back down leaving me to repeat his every action. after a while, i started getting really paranoid thoughts that he was trying to tell me something, like as if he knew things about life, and then i started thinking how he could be a total gemini and how i was so confident he was, i started getting scared he could hear my thoughts because he kept moving over like he was trying to see my eyes, or tell me something somehow, and suddenly he finnaly moved over and looked at me, smirking and whisperd something directly to my face but i had no idea what he said, it was like trying to remember what is happening when you black out when you get to drunk out of your fucking mind. he was smirking a lot though, and for some reason i said 'yeah' really pleasently happy for some reason as if i was agreeing with him, but i have no idea what i was agreeing to, and all of a sudden i had this deep exhale and suddenly my body felt so peaceful, so fucking relaxed, and i slid into the chair beyond comforted, as if i was resting a peaceful rest....but i was still awake.. the thing is what i realise now is that. all of a sudden though, i looked at the guy wearing these shades that reminded me of tyler durden, and suddenly how he looked, all of it but in different styles and color, and he was more skinner and super tall. suddenly i asked him "this is going to sound crazy but whats your zodiac sign???? is it gemini??" and he laughed so amused, "no way, not even close to gemini" (which is the funny part because he is was completely) but all of a sudden looked back and suddenly confused and disgusted in a way (his expressions where constantly changing everysecond.. it was insane), asking why, and i said "oh, because you just seem like a total gemini" and he laughed saying "nah, and i was just fucking with you back there" referring to the constantly moving up from seat situashion making me move).....and in some weird volume right after i heard him ask how he seemed like a gemini, but i didnt say anything and he just laughed, he then told me it was capricorn (my opposite sign) but when i looked at him when he said it, he was beyond happy and estactic to tell me, his complete look was like as if a "Hello!" look, like he was saying hi to me.
suddenly he was trying to get my attention agian as i slid back up in the chair, and he was asking me with this really deep look of confused cynical and disoritated, he reminded me of being on lsd.....but when he was talking he sounded really curious and amused.... the thing is, i have no idea how he could of heard that music because it couldnt be sounded through the headphones... i told him foregin objects and he looked back, looking away repeating the bands name, i looked back asking why and if he liked that type of music" but whenever i looked at him i was beyond in astonishment, i wasent attracted to him or anything but there was this huge high when i saw his presense. suddenly he looked back at me, his estatic look slapping back like the snap of an elastic band, and said "yeah, i love it, death metal rocks" nodding his head really amused.
it was a really strange bus ride back, everyone was staring at me,..... the weirdest thing though is that when i was about near my bus stop, i was thinking how weirder it would be if this guy got off at the same stop as me, and right when i was thinking of pressing the bottom, right at the exact time i was about to he went and held up his hand before me, i laughed quiety in such amusement, and when we were getting off the bus, it was weird cause for some reason all of a sudden i felt like i was suppose to go his way, and suddenly turned around but saw him look back smirking like as he knew something
the thing is i was realising how fucked up and similar it was to fight club when jack meets his other side on the plane, but for me it was on the bus after a past nights of insomnia....when i think about it the signs were so clear, when i got confortable almost like i was resting, i think i did fall asleep! damnit, its all like fight club how jack falls asleep and wakes up with tyler beside him, and how give meaningless chat... it all felt like that..
what the hell is wrong with me?
I just realised the most fucking insane thing that happend to me not that long ago........i didnt realise what was happening than till now.. at 5:35 am in the morning from long high insomnia....
well...
basically to give the basic view of this experience, it was like fight club....
before when i first saw the movie it made me realise a lot of things about my childhood problems with conflicting contridary elemtns. it was an amazing movie until i realised my fasination with the whole split personality and how i use to feel like that as a kid, i didnt realise it could come back....
i dont know if this is making any sense so far, but im freaked out. on the bus not to long ago, for some reason when i got up to the deck i for some reason swung my body to the empty chair to my right, where this tall gangly guy was chilling, and a few minutes after the bus passed a few stops, he started figetting around a lot and kept moving around none stop as if he was about to get off at the next stop... i was getting really nervous like i had to get up or not when he did, he'd suddenly jump up and then i would panic and throw myself up at almost before he does and then he'd suddenly sit back down leaving me to repeat his every action. after a while, i started getting really paranoid thoughts that he was trying to tell me something, like as if he knew things about life, and then i started thinking how he could be a total gemini and how i was so confident he was, i started getting scared he could hear my thoughts because he kept moving over like he was trying to see my eyes, or tell me something somehow, and suddenly he finnaly moved over and looked at me, smirking and whisperd something directly to my face but i had no idea what he said, it was like trying to remember what is happening when you black out when you get to drunk out of your fucking mind. he was smirking a lot though, and for some reason i said 'yeah' really pleasently happy for some reason as if i was agreeing with him, but i have no idea what i was agreeing to, and all of a sudden i had this deep exhale and suddenly my body felt so peaceful, so fucking relaxed, and i slid into the chair beyond comforted, as if i was resting a peaceful rest....but i was still awake.. the thing is what i realise now is that. all of a sudden though, i looked at the guy wearing these shades that reminded me of tyler durden, and suddenly how he looked, all of it but in different styles and color, and he was more skinner and super tall. suddenly i asked him "this is going to sound crazy but whats your zodiac sign???? is it gemini??" and he laughed so amused, "no way, not even close to gemini" (which is the funny part because he is was completely) but all of a sudden looked back and suddenly confused and disgusted in a way (his expressions where constantly changing everysecond.. it was insane), asking why, and i said "oh, because you just seem like a total gemini" and he laughed saying "nah, and i was just fucking with you back there" referring to the constantly moving up from seat situashion making me move).....and in some weird volume right after i heard him ask how he seemed like a gemini, but i didnt say anything and he just laughed, he then told me it was capricorn (my opposite sign) but when i looked at him when he said it, he was beyond happy and estactic to tell me, his complete look was like as if a "Hello!" look, like he was saying hi to me.
suddenly he was trying to get my attention agian as i slid back up in the chair, and he was asking me with this really deep look of confused cynical and disoritated, he reminded me of being on lsd.....but when he was talking he sounded really curious and amused.... the thing is, i have no idea how he could of heard that music because it couldnt be sounded through the headphones... i told him foregin objects and he looked back, looking away repeating the bands name, i looked back asking why and if he liked that type of music" but whenever i looked at him i was beyond in astonishment, i wasent attracted to him or anything but there was this huge high when i saw his presense. suddenly he looked back at me, his estatic look slapping back like the snap of an elastic band, and said "yeah, i love it, death metal rocks" nodding his head really amused.
it was a really strange bus ride back, everyone was staring at me,..... the weirdest thing though is that when i was about near my bus stop, i was thinking how weirder it would be if this guy got off at the same stop as me, and right when i was thinking of pressing the bottom, right at the exact time i was about to he went and held up his hand before me, i laughed quiety in such amusement, and when we were getting off the bus, it was weird cause for some reason all of a sudden i felt like i was suppose to go his way, and suddenly turned around but saw him look back smirking like as he knew something
the thing is i was realising how fucked up and similar it was to fight club when jack meets his other side on the plane, but for me it was on the bus after a past nights of insomnia....when i think about it the signs were so clear, when i got confortable almost like i was resting, i think i did fall asleep! damnit, its all like fight club how jack falls asleep and wakes up with tyler beside him, and how give meaningless chat... it all felt like that..
what the hell is wrong with me?