Up the arse

[Otis Driftwood]

From http://www.well.com/~cynsa/newbutt.html (snicker @ newbutt)


Rectal Foreign Bodies" -- from Surgery Magazine (1986)

Collated by Drs. David B. Busch and James R. Starling, Madison, Wis.


The surgical management of two patients presenting with incarcerated, apparently self-inserted foreign bodies is reported. The large volume of prior literature on this subject is reviewed, with tabulation of 182 previous cases by type and number of objects recovered and with a discussion of patients' age distribution, history, complications and prognosis.

Table I Previously reported recovered foreign bodies:

[ed. note: list has been appended to reflect recently found documentation.]


Object Number Recovered

Glass or ceramic
Bottle or jar 32
Bottle with attached rope 1
Glass or cup 12
Light bulb 7
Tube 6
Food
Apple 1
Banana 2
Carrot 4
Cucumber 3
Onion 2
Parsnip 1
Plantain (with condom) 1
Potato 1
Salami 1
Turnip 1
Zucchini 2
Wooden
Ax handle 1
Stick or broom handle 10
Miscellaneous or unspecified 3
Sexual Device
Vibrator 23*
Dildo 15
Kitchen device
Dull knife 1
Ice pick 1
Knife sharpener 1
Mortar pestle 2
Spatula (plastic) 1
Spoon 1
Tin cup 1
Miscellaneous tools
Candle 1
Curling Iron 1
Flashlight 3
Iron rod 1
Pen 2
Rubber tube 1
Screwdriver 1
Toothbrush 1
Wire spring 1
Inflated device
Balloon 1
Balloon attached to cylinder 1
Condom 1
Ball
Baseball 2
Tennis ball 1
Pool cue ball 1
Miscellaneous containers
Baby powder can 1
Candle box 1
Shampoo Bottle 1
Snuff box 1
Miscellaneous
Bottle cap ** 1
Cattle horn 3
Chain (gold) 1
Frozen pig's tail 1
"Kangaroo tumor" # 1
Hair Mousse Cap 1
Plastic rod 1
Stone 2
Toothbrush holder 1
Toothbrush package 1
Whip handle 2*
Collections (one case of each)
2 Glass tubes
72 1/2 Jeweler's saw
Oil can with potato stopper
Piece of wood, peanut
Umbrella handle and enema tubing
2 Glasses
Phosphorus match ends (homicide)
402 Stones
Toolbox ##
2 Bars soap
Beer glass and preserving pot
Lemon and cold cream jar
2 Apples
Spectacles, suitcase key, tobacco pouch, and magazine
total of 14 collections, with approximately 500 objects

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* number may be larger (text unclear)
**cannot exclude ingestion
# unique case of pedunculated perianal skin tumor habitually
inserted into rectum
##inside a convict; contained saws and other items usable
in escape attempts.

[Lo_Lyfe]

Who needs to search for the useless shit on the internet when you so fervently bring it to us? (y)

[Bob]

people stick saws up their asses?

prison must be worse than i thought

[Lo_Lyfe]

people stick saws up their asses?

prison must be worse than i thought
something about what you posted

[abcdefz]

people stick saws up their asses?

prison must be worse than i thought



Even if it's not used for escape, you can consider it a preventative measure.

[Lo_Lyfe]

Even if it's not used for escape, you can consider it a preventative measure.
something like that

[abcdefz]

..."as a" preventative measure. :rolleyes:

[Lo_Lyfe]

unrelated comment

[Lo_Lyfe]

Could be a deadly weapon if corked properly with your thumb.
*likes joel, quotes him*

[Otis Driftwood]

From melanie Mon May 1 13:39:24 1995
To: cynsa@well.sf.ca.us
Subject: Live Artillery Shell

I have a butt page story for you, but, unfortunately, no documentary evidence. The story was told me by my brother, who used to lodge with a nurse. It is the nurse's story. About five years ago an old WW2 veteran used to come into a hospital clinic in the east end of London suffering from bad haemorroids (piles). The clinic did what they could, but they could never relieve the most painful pile, which would hang down and get stuck on the seam of the man's underpants. To rid himself of the nuisance of this pile, the old man used to push it back up into his rectum using the artillery shell from an anti-aircraft gun he used to man in the war. One day the shell got stuck and the man was forced to hobble down to the hospital to get it removed. As the doctor was about to insert his fingers into the old man's rectum to remove the shell he said 'Of course, this shell is spent, isn't it?' 'Oh no,' said the old man 'There's enough ammo in that shell to blast a Messerschmidt (sp?) out of the sky.' So the doctor called in the army bomb squad, who built a lead box around the old man's asshole and defused the shell in situ, before removing it.
A good little story for VE day, I thought. --
Melanie McGrath