Havin a real shit time lately

[DandyFop]

This used to be a place where I would come when I felt bad or happy or really anything. I don't really feel like that anymore. And yet I don't feel like there's anyone I can really talk to about it. I am just really...unhappy. With myself, with the way I'm letting my life go by, with the fact that I get inspired one day and the next I still don't do anything about it. The way I look, the way I eat, the way I spend my days. I feel horrible and I feel like even though I do have control over it, I don't at the same time.

Sorry I'm not trying to be melodramatic, it's just been hard to hold this in and I don't want to talk to anyone about it for a multitude of reasons. I know it sounds somewhat like I have depression or something but I am not going to to and get medicated and fucked up and be a zombie. I know that I have the power to change my life but I feel like there's some key aspect I am missing. I try to distract myself from what's really wrong when it really is eating at me constantly.

Has anyone ever experienced this? I am sure it's common. What did you do to work through it? Or are you doomed to feel that way always?

Some of this was brought on by the recent discovery that my ex is now engaged. We broke up in December and I just barely, BARELY, got over him, and in the meantime he was off falling in love and getting fucking engaged. For the love of Christ.

Blahs :(

[ericlee]

Oh dammit, and after I write a 4 or 5 paragraph response in Zorra's thread....

I'm a man with moobs dammit!! I know I can exercise these things off, they've been so far worse before but I just don't want to exercise atm cause my guitar sucks up the freetime that I can use for exercising.

Here I am over the top of my wife humping away and she reaches at my chest ONLY to grab my damn manly manmarys!! It used to be a firm chest. Now she's humping Bob from the fight club!!

You think you've got it bad being single again?

[venusvenus123]

i'm sure everyone has experienced feeling like that. i find that exercise and fresh air helps a lot ... getting the endorphins going. if i'm feeling flat then going out and doing a load of gardening helps. but you probably don't have a garden....
still, you could volunteer, go and see an old lady regularly, make her happy. ummm. i have a friend who suffers from clinical depression and she mentors an old lady. she's a really important person in that lady's life and i think it helps her (my friend, that is).

you have a beautiful head of hair a lovely smile and a positive spirit. i'm sure you'll be fine.

i've found that looking at what you don't have doesn't help. look at what you do have and life may look a bit better.

:/

[zorra_chiflada]

This used to be a place where I would come when I felt bad or happy or really anything. I don't really feel like that anymore. And yet I don't feel like there's anyone I can really talk to about it. I am just really...unhappy. With myself, with the way I'm letting my life go by, with the fact that I get inspired one day and the next I still don't do anything about it. The way I look, the way I eat, the way I spend my days. I feel horrible and I feel like even though I do have control over it, I don't at the same time.

Sorry I'm not trying to be melodramatic, it's just been hard to hold this in and I don't want to talk to anyone about it for a multitude of reasons. I know it sounds somewhat like I have depression or something but I am not going to to and get medicated and fucked up and be a zombie. I know that I have the power to change my life but I feel like there's some key aspect I am missing. I try to distract myself from what's really wrong when it really is eating at me constantly.

Has anyone ever experienced this? I am sure it's common. What did you do to work through it? Or are you doomed to feel that way always?

Some of this was brought on by the recent discovery that my ex is now engaged. We broke up in December and I just barely, BARELY, got over him, and in the meantime he was off falling in love and getting fucking engaged. For the love of Christ.

Blahs :(

speaking of this place: it was this very place that i met someone where i met someone who i thought would be with me forever. but he dumped my ass. therefore, i dont' feel so good coming back here either. oh well, at least i'm leaving soon.

[na§tee]

hey now little lady, chin up.

when stuff like this happens, i try to think that the only way is up. because it really is. things can only get better. ebbs and flows, yo. you really have to take your future and your life into your own hands, make some changes, some decisions, some promises to yourself. recognising you are having a shit time is no use unless you can say 'oh hey, how can i make this better?' a lot of this starts with your attitude towards yourself which, i know, is difficult to wrestle with sometime.

don't lose too much energy on your ex getting engaged. men will come in and out of your life. i always say there is no point bemoaning that what you cannot change. appreciate the time you had together, and file it under 'the past'. i broke up with my boyfriend recently, he was an important part of my life, but now he is history. haha, i don't mean that in a death threat sort of way. i just mean that since i made that change, i feel much more positive about the future and the opportunities it can bring. like someone propped my eyelids open with matchsticks and said 'here claire, take a gander'.

do something that psychologically will mean a fresh start in your CRANIUM. my flatmates and i are moving soon to a new place. that, combined with some small targets i set for myself after all these events in my life, really helps to think that i'm not just sitting here, stagnant, stoic and unmotivated. a lot of what was making me unhappy was tied up in the fact that i was with someone i didn't want to be with anymore. once i made the plunge to change that, a lot of things fell into place afterwards. make small changes, you'll see.

i am really lazy, too. you talk about being unmotivated. yeah. some days it is just easier to cruise on by on a cloud of nonchalance. just the effort seems to depress you more sometimes. but you do have control, you absolutely do. so keep keepin' on, you know?

[zorra_chiflada]

hahaaaaa

[ericlee]

speaking of this place: it was this very place that i met someone where i met someone who i thought would be with me forever. but he dumped my ass. therefore, i dont' feel so good coming back here either. oh well, at least i'm leaving soon.

Whaaaaa? It's funny cause I read this post right as a garbage truck went by cruising in 4th gear but it was going so slow that it created a "baaaarrrrrmmmmmggghhhh" sound. Holy crap, I just about shed a tear. No, not just about but, I just did and may do it again.

I blame it on the new color scheme. Yeah, that's all I can think of.

[na§tee]

hahaaaaa
you can shrug off that sort of advice if you want, go ahead. but i think dandy would appreciate anybody's two cents.

[roosta]

i'm sure everyone has experienced feeling like that. i find that exercise and fresh air helps a lot ... getting the endorphins going.
:/

This is very true. If i ever feel like im in a bit of a slump i grab the ould headphones and go for a walk. Its amazing how a bit of fresh air can lift your mood.

[zorra_chiflada]

you can shrug off that sort of advice if you want, go ahead. but i think dandy would appreciate anybody's two cents.

sorry, i was just laughing at how full of shit you are. 'as long as it's happening to someone else,' hey? forgive me. hahahaha.

[na§tee]

sorry, i was just laughing at how full of shit you are. 'as long as it's happening to someone else,' hey? forgive me. hahahaha.
as long as what is happening to someone else? i didn't say anything along those lines.

oh please, i'm not the one who is full of shit here. if you want to start a deluded cat fight, you can throw some sand in another person's face, okay?

[roosta]

as long as what is happening to someone else? i didn't say anything along those lines.


yeah...i didn't get any of that from na§tee's comments :confused:

[QueenAdrock]

Barb, maybe are you just going through a phase where you're in a rut? Maybe you need to try new things. I went through a terrible time last year as you know, it does get better, but even when it's better, it'll feel like something's missing. Based on only my experiences, what's helped is to integrate new things into your life. I realized that my life consisted of the same friends, the same boyfriend, the same location, all my life. The boyfriend broke up with me, a few other things have changed (the parents moving away, and a few friends deciding to leave too), and I realized I was still trying to live my life the same way I did when I had all of them. It didn't work out too well, I constantly felt like something was missing or different, and it made me uncomfortable with my situation, and unhappy. It's why I'm going to be going to Canada for my Master's in just a month or two. I decided if things were going to change, then I'm going to have control over some of it and do something new that will make ME happy. Sometimes you just need a change of pace, to try new things, to make it interesting and worthwhile.

It does sound like you have a lack of motivation too, though. If you're not motivated to really get out there and try new things, there isn't much that anyone can say or do to change that. It has to come within yourself to stand up and say "I don't feel like sitting around and doing this anymore, something's gotta change," and go out there and find something new that will make you happy. I wish you luck with that.

[abcdefz]

This used to be a place where I would come when I felt bad or happy or really anything. I don't really feel like that anymore. And yet I don't feel like there's anyone I can really talk to about it. I am just really...unhappy. With myself, with the way I'm letting my life go by, with the fact that I get inspired one day and the next I still don't do anything about it. The way I look, the way I eat, the way I spend my days. I feel horrible and I feel like even though I do have control over it, I don't at the same time.

Sorry I'm not trying to be melodramatic, it's just been hard to hold this in and I don't want to talk to anyone about it for a multitude of reasons. I know it sounds somewhat like I have depression or something but I am not going to to and get medicated and fucked up and be a zombie. I know that I have the power to change my life but I feel like there's some key aspect I am missing. I try to distract myself from what's really wrong when it really is eating at me constantly.

Has anyone ever experienced this? I am sure it's common. What did you do to work through it? Or are you doomed to feel that way always?

Some of this was brought on by the recent discovery that my ex is now engaged. We broke up in December and I just barely, BARELY, got over him, and in the meantime he was off falling in love and getting fucking engaged. For the love of Christ.

Blahs :(



You've posted so many pictures of yourself having fun lately that I thought you were... having fun... :(

[Randetica]

as long as what is happening to someone else? i didn't say anything along those lines.

oh please, i'm not the one who is full of shit here. if you want to start a deluded cat fight, you can throw some sand in another person's face, okay?

but NOW youre doing the 'as long as it's happening to someone else' thing but it's ok, she can throw as much sand in my face and vagina as she wants
it wouldnt make me hate her..i in fact would EVEN love her more (if thats possible)


You've posted so many pictures of yourself having fun lately that I thought you were... having fun... :(

maybe the fun was just photoshopped :(

[MC Moot]

*Sending white,happy light, your way.....Namaste.....Via con Dios*

:)

[DIGI]

I'm always happy. ALWAYS.

[kaiser soze]

Put it in perspective

There are many people with a hell of a lot less who are very thankful for what they have

[cookiepuss]

speaking of this place: it was this very place that i met someone where i met someone who i thought would be with me forever. but he dumped my ass. therefore, i dont' feel so good coming back here either. oh well, at least i'm leaving soon.

:confused: whaaaattttt? Joe dumped you?


and I have no advice for Barb, cause right now things are shitty for me too.

[SugarInTheRaw]

Kraft Mac and Cheese with MSG.

[DIGI]

Wow, you were almost able to pull off a successful burn, that is, if you were able to form a cogent sentence. Damn you, retardation!!!!

[marsdaddy]

You know that song, I never promised you a rose garden? No, well, if you were old like me, you would. It's a shit song, but it's relevant. Life isn't easy, but it's usually long.

About 10 years ago, I set 3 goals and I have achieved all 3 -- the last of which was having a family. Sorry, I don't want to sound like a guru (Tony Robbins?!) -- I did all 3, so you can too!

But, I think there is something overwhelming about looking at "all the things" you want in life. If you examine just a couple of them, it might seem more manageable.

Oh, and I also have a blood condition that has caused me liver damage twice in the past 18 months. And, I should be working right now, but I don't want to so I'm not. That's life, though.

I hear what you're saying about medication. But, if you think you want to talk to a professional, you can ask their philosophy on meds. If they routinely prescribe meds, they might not be the right person for you to talk to. There are plenty of therapists/psychologists that don't routinely prescribe meds.

[marsdaddy]

Wow, you were almost able to pull off a successful burn, that is, if you were able to form a cogent sentence. Damn you, retardation!!!!I'm actually happy that he attempted the burn, though. Someone was bound to do it, and it might as well be Barney Rubble.

[cookiepuss]

I can say though that medication is not the only way to treat depression. it can sometimes be treated through dietary changes. a nutritionalist or dietician can put you on a program.

the only problem I've had with that is usually I'm too depressed to stay motivated to stick to the diet and it take time on the diet to notice any changes in mood.

[abcdefz]

You know that song, I never promised you a rose garden? No, well, if you were old like me, you would. It's a shit song...



...that later became a shit movie!!! :D


-- That played endlessly on HBO circa 1979... :(

[marsdaddy]

Cogent - convincing.Check again, and you'll see that his use of cogent (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cogency) is accepted by wikipedia, at least.

Watching too many temper tantrums can cause wild flailing?

...that later became a shit movie!!! :D


-- That played endlessly on HBO circa 1979... :(I was too busy watching the endless replays of Grease and The Blue Lagoon circa 1980.

[DIGI]

^^Haha. You looked it up. You gonna edit that post too?

[DIGI]

You're hopeless. Gimme a Yuengling.

I'll save you the time from looking it up since you're from Texas and might not know. Yuengling is a beer brewed in PA and is America's oldest beer and possibly the tastiest.

[DandyFop]

Thanks to those of you who mustered some kind of encouragement (and Skye you can just go fuck yourself as usual).

My problems are quite insignifigant to many in the world but hey, they're my problems and no matter what we do, we have to deal with ourselves day in and day out.

I should have clarified more in my post about why exactly I was posting - anybody have any advice as far as "goal-reaching"? Mars you were right in that I shoulf just focus on a few things rather than a giant clusterfuck of them, that's a really good idea.

I don't really know what to say about Susan and Joe except for that it sucks dick to feel that way and nobody should have to.

[hpdrifter]

I think the best way to go about goal reaching is to start with one thing. If you think of the whole thing together you just end up scaring yourself and talking yourself out of it.

Like my goal was to buy a house. But I didn't think of the whole process at once. First I started talking about it with my bf. Then our friends took us out looking. Then we made an offer. Etc etc. Every step I saw as a separate thing from other ones. Easy to do lots of little things, harder to do one big thing, ya dig?

[Documad]

I hit rock bottom at 25 (I felt like I hadn't accomplished anything and I was back living with my parents because of my dad's health) and again at about 30 (I hated my job and couldn't see a way out of it). The first one was largely in my head - everyone else felt as lost as me and when I realized that I felt better. The second one was more difficult. I decided that I had to start taking risks or I'd wind up in the same shitty job forever. I took a slightly less shitty job, which led to a better one and a kick ass one.

I have no advice except that you have to start by looking at yourself as you actually are, and accept the things that are good and bad and decide what you want to work on. I still have loads of problems and loads of things I'm working on, but I've knocked a few off my list.

I'm far luckier than most people, but I still get scared about the future fairly often. It's worse now because of another illness in the family. My biggest fear is that I'll get sucked back into taking care of one or two sick relatives, and that's what set me back in the first place.

[Bob]

Well, everybody huuuuurts sometimes,
Everyyyyyybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone

[DIGI]

When did Zorra and Zount break up?

[cosmo105]

sorry, i was just laughing at how full of shit you are. 'as long as it's happening to someone else,' hey? forgive me. hahahaha.

completely uncalled-for

[cookiepuss]

When did Zorra and Zount break up?

helloooo...that's what I'm asking too! were hyjacking this thread and we want answers!


but back on topic...
they say I'm hopeless, as a penny with a hole in it. they say I'm no less, no less than up to my head in it.

[Randetica]

i know it but i wont tell

never!


well it sucks
they were my favorite board couple, at times i called them mommy and daddy :(

well more zorra pussy for me i guess

[DandyFop]

YES!

It's way more interesting ....
Spill it Zorra .... were all ears .... uhhh ... eyes? .... whateva!

Curious, how do you justify my posts as pity parties and not Zorras? Why do you feel like you have to shit on me when I'm obviously having a crappy time? Even though we don't get along I wouldn't do that to you.

[Bob]

Dandy makes too many pitty me threads, its getting old .... get off the fucking net and go outside!


yeah dandy, stop being so defensive! how defensive do you have to be to misinterpret that as an insult for god's sake? she's clearly just trying to help

[DandyFop]

because Zorra doesnt post pity threads once a week ....

After all of the years I have spent coming here, I have never replied to any of your "poor me ... my life sucks .." ... blah blah threads ... I dont reply to your boyfriend woe threads ... I ignore them .... they are redundant.

sometimes people need to be slapped in the face and woken up ....
yah, I slapped you ...
sorry it might have hurt .....

maybe ... its just my brass way of saying "your life isnt that bad ... snap the fuck out of it" ....

stop being so defensive to my comments, and maybe you might see their really isnt malice intent.

What the fuck are you talking about? I hardly even post here any more, much less pity posts. Sometimes I come to hear the advice of people who I respect, who I know have more experience in life than I do. I don't see anything wrong with this really. A lot of people come here and do this, and yet you aren't attacking them. You need to get over yourself. I'm sure you've heard that more than once, however. When have I said "poor me" "my life sucks" etc? You're a part of the reason why this place sucks now. Used to be worth it, now it's just stuck-up fuckfaces like yourself that think they are god's gift to internet message boards. Go. fuck. yourself.

[Randetica]

writing down your ass pains can make you feel better, e-medicine
where should you whine when not on this board?
sure it gets annoying when the same people do it all the time but dandy isnt one of them

everyone needs some sympathy, attention and my senseless posts

put her on ignore or murder her when you cant stand it, i know you plan it

[DandyFop]

put her on ignore or murder her when you cant stand it, i know you plan it

done and done. good times never seemed so good

[Bob]

telling someone to get off the net and go outside when they are feeling bad is an insult?

are you really that...hmm

[Randetica]

done and done. good times never seemed so good

you heartless bitch!

i mean well and right done

[Schmeltz]

Skye reminds me of a female Qdrop.

[Bob]

Skye reminds me of a female Qdrop.

she reminds me more of an audience member on some trashy talk show. here, watch

"mmm! ooh! ricki!

Dandy makes too many pitty me threads, its getting old .... get off the fucking net and go outside!

mmhhmm! *snap snap snap*"

[DandyFop]

haha it's like that Mr. Show on the boat with the talk show people.

"Life is precious...and God...and the bible"

[Suavee-Bolo]

Karma's a bitch, innit?

[DIGI]

haha it's like that Mr. Show on the boat with the talk show people.

"Life is precious...and God...and the bible"

Before I die, Ima fuck me a fish.

[Planetary]

sorry, i was just laughing at how full of shit you are. 'as long as it's happening to someone else,' hey? forgive me. hahahaha.

i'm pretty sure shes just trying to make her feel better. no need to be scornful just because you're having a bad time. you're not the only one.

[zorra_chiflada]

:confused: whaaaattttt? Joe dumped you?




yep, guess which charming lady of this here message board told him "she's not your problem, ditch her"
hahahaha. forgive me for habouring some anger towards her.

nastee, good luck to you with your "technological romance" with joe. he's a real catch!

[Medellia]

hey now little lady, chin up.

when stuff like this happens, i try to think that the only way is up. because it really is. things can only get better. ebbs and flows, yo. you really have to take your future and your life into your own hands, make some changes, some decisions, some promises to yourself. recognising you are having a shit time is no use unless you can say 'oh hey, how can i make this better?' a lot of this starts with your attitude towards yourself which, i know, is difficult to wrestle with sometime.

don't lose too much energy on your ex getting engaged. men will come in and out of your life. i always say there is no point bemoaning that what you cannot change. appreciate the time you had together, and file it under 'the past'. i broke up with my boyfriend recently, he was an important part of my life, but now he is history. haha, i don't mean that in a death threat sort of way. i just mean that since i made that change, i feel much more positive about the future and the opportunities it can bring. like someone propped my eyelids open with matchsticks and said 'here claire, take a gander'.

do something that psychologically will mean a fresh start in your CRANIUM. my flatmates and i are moving soon to a new place. that, combined with some small targets i set for myself after all these events in my life, really helps to think that i'm not just sitting here, stagnant, stoic and unmotivated. a lot of what was making me unhappy was tied up in the fact that i was with someone i didn't want to be with anymore. once i made the plunge to change that, a lot of things fell into place afterwards. make small changes, you'll see.

i am really lazy, too. you talk about being unmotivated. yeah. some days it is just easier to cruise on by on a cloud of nonchalance. just the effort seems to depress you more sometimes. but you do have control, you absolutely do. so keep keepin' on, you know?

So, why DID you break up with your ex?

BTW, I hope you can see why someone who has been dumped could be insulted by this, right?

[Rock On]

yep, guess which charming lady of this here message board told him "she's not your problem, ditch her"
hahahaha.

Why do people come to a MB for real life advice?
(Not you Zorra, It's more directed at your ex-BF & Dandyfop)

[zorra_chiflada]

Why do people come to a MB for real life advice?
(Not you Zorra, It's more directed at your ex-BF & Dandyfop)

nono, i can take this one.
because i like hearing things completely objectively. it kinda grounds me a lot and gives me a good perspective. the bigger picture type thing. i'm sure a lot of people here feel the same way.

[QueenAdrock]

Yeah, and since there's so many people (whom may or may not know much about you) with so many different opinions, you get a more unbiased view. Sometimes going to friends, they're just little cheerleaders for you and don't tell you the truth, they just kinda sugarcoat everything. Which is nice for cheering you up, but it's not good for actually thinking things through clearly and making decisions. And sometimes there are tough decisions out there that you want help with, so you go to people who may have had similar experiences and can help you based on how it worked out for them.

[Medellia]

Yeah, and since there's so many people (whom may or may not know much about you) with so many different opinions, you get a more unbiased view. Sometimes going to friends, they're just little cheerleaders for you and don't tell you the truth, they just kinda sugarcoat everything. Which is nice for cheering you up, but it's not good for actually thinking things through clearly and making decisions. And sometimes there are tough decisions out there that you want help with, so you go to people who may have had similar experiences and can help you based on how it worked out for them.

This is true, although I'd argue that there's plenty of cheerleading on the board as well. Which is why I very rarely post now. In fact, I'm only posting now as a cheerleader for Zorra. I'm such a hypocrite. :(

[ET]

Don't worry, this entire month has been completely fucktarded for me. I can't even post about it on an internet message board. Also, feeling you on the engaged thing. that's pretty damn soon and you know, hey, it's only going to be the best damn divorce ever! Yeah!

[zorra_chiflada]

sorry for ruining your thread barb. i didn't mean to be so selfish and all "look at me" :/ i'm not gonna hang around here anymore anyway.

[Tzar]

i thought i might contribute some of my feelings and opinions here if i may...



ahahahahahahahaha x ~

[DandyFop]

sorry for ruining your thread barb. i didn't mean to be so selfish and all "look at me" :/ i'm not gonna hang around here anymore anyway.

You're fine, I just find it funny that you and I both are like "ah fuckin shit" at the same time and I get shit for it but you don't. Ah, hypocrites, gotta love em.

I don't know how i missed seeing that nastee broke it off with her boy the first time I read this.

Ai, men, good riddance!

[na§tee]

yep, guess which charming lady of this here message board told him "she's not your problem, ditch her"
hahahaha. forgive me for habouring some anger towards her.

nastee, good luck to you with your "technological romance" with joe. he's a real catch!
right. so i told him to dump you now. what rot.

susan, it is easier to point the finger of blame at someone ten thousand miles away than perhaps look at yourself and realise your relationship ended because, and only because, of something to do with you, him, and, well, the pair of you. no-one else.

give yourself, joe, and the time you had together the respect it deserves by not resorting to this immature virtual hair-pulling. i find it pretty bizarre that people are salivating over details of your breakup when it should be a private thing. and, medellia, same goes for the details of my breakup. they will remain private. because i have some respect for ranald and that part of my life.

when i wake up and realise that all this time i have meant to be engaging in a pretendy internetty relationship with joe, i'll let you all know! (y) he can be a catch for someone irl, thanks. i have a nice glaswegian boy that may be a trifle disappointed. no teh, not you : (

i know things haven't exactly been peachy for you, susan, so i hope it improves soon. i can understand you need to yell treason at someone and that honour has been directed at me. meh, okay. i don't want to enter any more of a dialogue on this because it will just become a cycle of accusation and denial. it's pretty exhausting with you, so you can come with all the caustic claire put downs, i am just going to let it go now. the people who know me here know that i wouldn't behave like that, so as long as someone is being reasonable here, that's okay.

good luck with everything, i'm sure things will get more positive for you soon.

[Randetica]

- *gives head to ET's heart*

- zorra you need to fucking stay!

- lol at ranald, wtf

[Rock On]

Yeah, and since there's so many people (whom may or may not know much about you) with so many different opinions, you get a more unbiased view. Sometimes going to friends, they're just little cheerleaders for you and don't tell you the truth, they just kinda sugarcoat everything. Which is nice for cheering you up, but it's not good for actually thinking things through clearly and making decisions. And sometimes there are tough decisions out there that you want help with, so you go to people who may have had similar experiences and can help you based on how it worked out for them.


That's exactly my point. ifriends, no matter how much you talk to them through the internet or even over the phone, only know what you want them to know about you. Only what you've decided to share. Any advice they could offer you would have to be taken lightly.

Sometimes it's better to figure things out on your own, sans advice.

[DandyFop]

The point is not to hide who you really are from the people you are asking it of, the point is to canvas the brains of people who have the kind of experience in life that maybe you don't have access to otherwise. Hell, many of my close friends have never even had a real boyfriend, so it's kind of hard to talk to them when they try to help but I know they don't really know where I'm coming from. I have truly gotten some of the best personal and creative advice on this board because of the wide variety of people (and smart people for that matter).

Rock On, now it just seems like you are grasping at straws to prove a point because you want to make some of us feel like shit for coming here with personal problems. Well honey it ain't gonna work.

[befsquire]

barb, i'm wondering what your goals are, and whether they're actually things you want to achieve, or if they're things that you think you're supposed to want. if they are your true goals, i think you'd be more motivated to try to accomplish them.

when i was younger, i wanted to be a lawyer, but for some reason i was down on myself and thought i was too stupid to ever be one. then one day, i was all "fuck that, i'm not stupid" and i decided i was going to do it. at the time, i was working, so i went part time at night because i needed the money. then i got married and ended up pregnant, which pushed my timeline off a little, and now i had to figure out what i was going to do about going to school when my then husband worked too much to watch our son, but it worked out and i continued, got my AA, and then started towards my 4 year degree. then i got pregnant again, and it got set back a few semesters, but i planned for when i would start law school with this new development and then adjusted my timeline a little. the law school i was accepted to was in another city 2 hours away, so i had to figure out how i would do that while having two young children. but i wanted it more than i had ever wanted anything, so i made it happen, no matter how much time it took.

maybe the best thing to do is what hpdrifter said -- break the goal down into many small steps. then do what i did and set a timeline for each step. it doesn't matter if you adjust it, as long as you're committed to doing it. and at each point where you've completed a piece, you'll become more motivated, because you'll realize the goal is within reach and can be accomplished.

[Rock On]

Rock On, now it just seems like you are grasping at straws to prove a point because you want to make some of us feel like shit for coming here with personal problems. Well honey it ain't gonna work.


My point was that if someone from the internet is giving you advice to break-up with your girlfriend (as someone was accused of doing in this thread) that maybe it's suspect to take advice from someone on the internet in the first place. I was more or less wondering why Zorra's ex would follow such advice.

I do hope everything works out for you with whatever problems you are going through. Nobody's trying to kick you when you are down, although I've seen you do that exact thing yourself a few times.

[befsquire]

My point was that if someone from the internet is giving you advice to break-up with your girlfriend (as someone was accused of doing in this thread) that maybe it's suspect to take advice from someone on the internet in the first place. I was more or less wondering why Zorra's ex would follow such advice.
that's the key part of your post, and when you're accused of doing something you didn't do, it's really hard to defend against it. how do you prove you never did something?

further, since we aren't joe, we don't know that he was ever given any advice from any source whatsoever, either online or IRL, that he then decided to follow.

[TurdBerglar]

oh you nutty kids you

[cosmo105]

woooooooooowwww (http://www.snarkygossip.com/wp-content/flavaflav.png) @ this thread

[befsquire]

you know, flav really brightens any day.

:)

[Medellia]

and, medellia, same goes for the details of my breakup. they will remain private. because i have some respect for ranald and that part of my life.
Okay, I'm not trying to pick a fight. Just want to day that up front. Maybe it's because Susan is my friend, maybe it's because I too have been dumped for someone else that was "better" (not anytime recently, but I have been, more than once). But I can't help but think that if it was really out of respect for him and the relationship the two of you had, that you wouldn't have said a lot of the things you said on here, and that you would have ended things much sooner. And hell, maybe there isn't anything going on between the two of you, but Joe must've led her to believe that there was something. I can't imagine she's just pull that accusation out of her ass if there wasn't something to back it up with. And, to be completely honest (and I'm trying to be as unbiased as possible, I'm not trying to be as bitchy as I'm sure I sound) if the two of them weren't together, I prolly would've thought there WAS something between the two of you based on your interactions here.

There's the "loyal friend" part of me that wants to stand up for her, and there's the part of me that wants to be the peacekeeper. So, hopefully I don't sound too accusatory, but I hope you can see how, even if what you say is true, he might not have seen it that way, and might have said something to her to lead her to believe that there was something more.

PS-Sorry if it's a bit ramble-y. It's late and I'm a little drunk.

[befsquire]

Okay, I'm not trying to pick a fight. Just want to day that up front. Maybe it's because Susan is my friend, maybe it's because I too have been dumped for someone else that was "better" (not anytime recently, but I have been, more than once). But I can't help but think that if it was really out of respect for him and the relationship the two of you had, that you wouldn't have said a lot of the things you said on here, and that you would have ended things much sooner. And hell, maybe there isn't anything going on between the two of you, but Joe must've led her to believe that there was something. I can't imagine she's just pull that accusation out of her ass if there wasn't something to back it up with. And, to be completely honest (and I'm trying to be as unbiased as possible, I'm not trying to be as bitchy as I'm sure I sound) if the two of them weren't together, I prolly would've thought there WAS something between the two of you based on your interactions here.

There's the "loyal friend" part of me that wants to stand up for her, and there's the part of me that wants to be the peacekeeper. So, hopefully I don't sound too accusatory, but I hope you can see how, even if what you say is true, he might not have seen it that way, and might have said something to her to lead her to believe that there was something more.

PS-Sorry if it's a bit ramble-y. It's late and I'm a little drunk.
there really doesn't seem to be anything above that makes you look as if you're being a peacekeeper, though maybe that's because i'm drunk. i merely quoted your post, in case you decide to edit it and then i'd look retarded. or more retarded, as the case may be.

all of my best friends, throughout my life, have been men. and i have never wanted anything more than friendship, and never thought of them as anything other than a friend, nor would i want them for anything else. but many times i have borne the brunt of a jealous girlfriend's fury, and coming from that angle, i can see where susan may have jumped to a conclusion that just didn't exist, especially when you consider that susan has repeatedly admitted she has a lot of insecurities, as many women, including myself, have.

i don't pretend to know what went on, but i've always found claire to be an honest person, and i believe her post in this thread. does that mean i think susan is lying? no. but is it possible that something joe said was misinterpreted to make her believe she's speaking the truth? absolutely.

[Medellia]

there really doesn't seem to be anything above that makes you look as if you're being a peacekeeper, though maybe that's because i'm drunk. i merely quoted your post, in case you decide to edit it and then i'd look retarded. or more retarded, as the case may be.

all of my best friends, throughout my life, have been men. and i have never wanted anything more than friendship, and never thought of them as anything other than a friend, nor would i want them for anything else. but many times i have borne the brunt of a jealous girlfriend's fury, and coming from that angle, i can see where susan may have jumped to a conclusion that just didn't exist, especially when you consider that susan has repeatedly admitted she has a lot of insecurities, as many women, including myself, have.

i don't pretend to know what went on, but i've always found claire to be an honest person, and i believe her post in this thread. does that mean i think susan is lying? no. but is it possible that something joe said was misinterpreted to make her believe she's speaking the truth? absolutely.
Oh I know it sounds bitchy. I've reread it and it does sound a bit bad. I stand by what I said though, just wish I could have said it in a less inflammatory way.

Anyway, like I said, I've been in that "I've been dumped for someone else" place before so I can empathise. I don't want to get into exactly what Zorra said in private, but based on that, I could see how he could think that a friendship with nastee was something more. I dunno what I'm really trying to get at. Anyway, what you said was a good, impartial way of looking at it. I'd like to be as unbiased, but I did point that out (as best as I could anyway) in my previous post.

[befsquire]

it's easier for me to be unbiased because i've been at all ends of the relationship spectrum. i've been dumped, i've been the dumper, i've been accused of being the other woman when i'm not, and i've accused people of being the other woman when they weren't.

basically, it's because i'm old that i can see this, because i've lived through it all. and there's nothing wrong with sticking up for a friend when that friend is hurting terribly, it just makes it a little harder to be as unbiased as one would hope to be.

:)

so, i've been drinking pomegranate cosmopolitans. you?

[Medellia]

basically, it's because i'm old that i can see this, because i've lived through it all. and there's nothing wrong with sticking up for a friend when that friend is hurting terribly, it just makes it a little harder to be as unbiased as one would hope to be.
I'm glad you can see it. On a similar note, my best friend and roommate was dating this guy who kept fucking her around, and he cheated on her, and while I feel horrible for her, and side with her in the breakup and all the fighting, I still know he wasn't 100% to blame. But yeah, loyalties and all. It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't live next door.:(

And we were drinking Sam Adams Hardcore Cider with our neighbor. Not the aforementioned one. Ugh.

[Dorothy Wood]

I just have to say it's pretty crap that interesting and lovely creative young ladies have such a hard time in life.

also, I have no advice, other than maybe try to move to a new location or something. shake things up. that sucks about your ex. I'd probably want to die. I was really pissed off when I found out my ex started dating a teenager only a couple of months after we broke up. even though I dumped him, I was livid. oh well, they had a 2+ year relationship filled with turmoil and strife. so I win. huzzah!

[b i o n i c]

holy fuck.

there is some drama going on in this piece,

[fucktopgirl]

[QUOTE]
Has anyone ever experienced this? I am sure it's common. What did you do to work through it? Or are you doomed to feel that way always?



You are the architech of your life..so, you gotta do some action and not drown into self-pity, big word that i don't even apply to myself yet!

And Susan, forget that fucker....You will find better, no worries!

[hpdrifter]

Wow. This thread has taken a turn. I'm really sorry for all you all are going through.

Its funny, I never put much effort into spirituality or whatever but I recently realized that the practice of using mantram really helps. Wikipedia it if you don't know what it is. Anyway, one came to me about two months ago or so and it doesn't make a whole lot of sense but when I say it to myself it always makes me feel better. I have a lot of anxiety about my job, my relationship, my future, just like everyone else and it has helped me control it a little bit.

I hope that a mantram like that comes to each of you soon.

[RoryMC]

So, what have I missed?

[Planetary]

things can only get better.

word (http://www.sueridermanagement.co.uk/presenters/BrianCox/BrianCox_01.jpg)

[DandyFop]

Update: doing much better now, guys!

[Helvete]

Hurray, you're the best!

[Echewta]

Good looking out!

[miss soul fire]

Sometimes I'm too self-centered. That's when I think it's time to help people. I mean, stop worring about my own problems and listen to a friend's problem and try to help him/her. Or do something good for a person or try to be nicer to people. It's a good start.

[Kid Presentable]

Wow @ the shit time I am having

Wower @ me posting to nobody

Wowest @ me deserving it

[checkyourprez]

when i get down i just always think 'it could be worse'. and for a lot of people it really is.

sounds simple but think about how many other people in this world are well and truly worse off than you. legitimately probably a billion or two. at least.


you could offer to trade places with one of these people if you'd like. then your life wouldnt seem so bad.

[hardnox71]

when i get down i just always think 'it could be worse'. and for a lot of people it really is.

Exactly.

A couple of days ago, my wife and I were walking out of the grocery store, multiple bags in hand and pushing our son in the stroller. It was a beautiful, sunny, pleasant afternoon in Chicago. Picture perfect. As we were walking, I looked across the parking lot and saw two Chicago cops and a security guard bent over some guy they were arresting. I have no idea what he did and I don't really care. All I thought of at that moment was what's ahead for that guy....riding to the station with handcuffs pinching the shit out of his wrists, ice cold holding cells, smartass turnkeys, dry ass baloney sandwiches (otherwise known as "chokes", because that's exactly what they make you do), and if he doesn't get an I-Bond (released on personal recognizance pending a court date) then he will be transported to Cook County Jail the next day. That's where the bullshit really starts.

That thought process took all of a fraction of a second to run through my mind and all I could say was "Thank you, God, that's not me anymore."

So, yes, I emphatically agree that no matter how bad shit gets, it can ALWAYS be worse and I have to remind myself of that every single day.

[Kid Presentable]

The difference between your experiences and mine is I have to live mine, not read about them.

[hardnox71]

You think I read all that in a book?

Oh, KP, if you live to be 1,000 years old, you will never fully comprehend how much I wish that was true.

No reason to take a swipe at me. I was just trying to relay the fact that as bad as it gets sometimes, it can always be worse. But you have to keep in mind that there is an opposite to the bad times, and it is coming, you just have to be patient. Keep your head up.

[Bob]

somewhere out there, there must be someone whose life is literally as bad as it can possibly get. like some starving maimed child in a village in india, where the only thing to eat is diarrhea and bugs

i wonder what keeps him going

[Kid Presentable]

You think I read all that in a book?

Oh, KP, if you live to be 1,000 years old, you will never fully comprehend how much I wish that was true.

No reason to take a swipe at me. I was just trying to relay the fact that as bad as it gets sometimes, it can always be worse. But you have to keep in mind that there is an opposite to the bad times, and it is coming, you just have to be patient. Keep your head up.

Reading your messages. About your experiences. On the messageboard.

I stopped reading when it became Danny Tanner in fucking overalls spraying a plume of magnanimity all over the walls in Steph's room.

Yes I'm being a cunt. Point fucking taken.

[hardnox71]

Reading your messages. About your experiences. On the messageboard.

I stopped reading when it became Danny Tanner in fucking overalls spraying a plume of magnanimity all over the walls in Steph's room.

Yes I'm being a cunt. Point fucking taken.

Well, sorry I misunderstood the bit about the reading. :o

Hope everything works out for you soon.

[Ssiti_mia]

completely uncalled-for

cosmo105,you're dating someone you met here right?

i don't remember his name,how's it goin?

[cosmo105]

we parted ways several years ago. we're still friends though, he's well (y)

[ToucanSpam]

somewhere out there, there must be someone whose life is literally as bad as it can possibly get. like some starving maimed child in a village in india, where the only thing to eat is diarrhea and bugs

i wonder what keeps him going

The saddest thing ever posted on this message board. Makes you think.

[Bob]

oh, i was trying to be funny

[hardnox71]

Nice going, Bob. Now look what you went and did. Sheeesh. :p

[tejana]

weighing in-- really mostly venting in a general direction (not just Ms. DF)

you don't know shit. and by that, I mean SHIT, the shit of life. I would sell my soul to have your life right now. Truly.

I'm not saying it's not difficult, but HAVING A BOYFRIEND is not the meaning of life.

My God, every day I am thankful for my abusive (alcoholic/mental/sexual) childhood that left me with PTSD, because without it, I would not survive what I'm going through now. I know how to sublimate my feelings with alcohol, sleep, food, avoidance, so I don't have to cope with my life (not so good) and the fact that the only people that care about me are my sister and her family (and I'm low on the list). And I'm too angry and stubborn to ever be suicidal. I have no idea how I am alive. Can't post this shit on FB.

Again, Gratitude...

oh, this crazed hetero female hasn't had a real boyfriend in her timezone since... (hmm, about the time that guy tried to burn my mother alive, threatened me and my sis,...) 2001?

HAVE A NICE DAY. sincerely, yes, it was a bad day

[Bob]

that's a little late

[tejana]

like you, bobby, my timing is kinda off. this thread goes on and on...

[tejana]

~grr, sorry, having a strong fantasy lately that someone (not anyone in particular, but I'd love for someone I know to fall as far as I have! evil me) else will have as much of a setback as I've had, and have been wanting to lash out.

I don't imagine that a lot of people (young?) will necessarily understand, but there are SO many things more important than romance:

survival
sanity
sexual safety
other safety
health
etc.

some of us are fighting for those on a daily basis... romance is a luxury.

[fonky pizza]

Typing this type of shit on the internet is luxury.

[ToucanSpam]

oh, i was trying to be funny

I suspected it but the truth is there's probably hundreds of thousands of kids who live that exact life. Kind of kills the comedy. No offense, Bob.