Grandma's in the hospital

[QueenAdrock]

And the doctors are saying it doesn't look too good. I have mixed feelings. I love my grandma so much, but everytime I've talked to her in the past year she's said "Diana, don't let yourself get old like me." Anytime I say "How are you?" she's replied "Not well." Seeing her in the state she's been in for the past few years has made me sad. I honestly don't think she fears death anymore.

I don't want her to leave me, but I also don't want to see her suffer anymore. I want her to be at peace. I'll be devestated if she dies, but on the other hand, I'll also know that she no longer has any pain. Maybe it's just her time.

I feel bad for thinking this, though. :(

[beastieangel01]

people get old. it happens. and it hurts, and aside from it being a common saying it's 100% true: at least she will not be in pain anymore if she does pass. And if she stays, enjoy every moment possible.

<3

[hpdrifter]

I am conflicted on this. My grandmother is pretty much just a breathing body. She has a degenerative mental disease which has caused dimentia for the last 10 years or so. Now she is crumpled up, she has a big hump on her back, her hands are frozen in a clenched position and her arms have started to wrap around her body too. She can't talk, walk, feed herself, bathe herself, go to the bathroom by herself.

But her heart is strong and just keeps going. She smiles when she sees me but I don't know if she really sees me. I don't know what to think. I feel guilty for wishing she'd pass but I know if she could see herself she'd be mortified. She was always impeccably dressed and coiffed.

I am not sure how much longer she'll live. I never thought she'd make it this far, she smoked for 40 years.

[abcdefz]

There are some seriously mixed feelings going on when a person in not-good condition gets older. You folks have my sympathy.

[QueenAdrock]

I am conflicted on this. My grandmother is pretty much just a breathing body. She has a degenerative mental disease which has caused dimentia for the last 10 years or so. Now she is crumpled up, she has a big hump on her back, her hands are frozen in a clenched position and her arms have started to wrap around her body too. She can't talk, walk, feed herself, bathe herself, go to the bathroom by herself.

But her heart is strong and just keeps going. She smiles when she sees me but I don't know if she really sees me. I don't know what to think. I feel guilty for wishing she'd pass but I know if she could see herself she'd be mortified. She was always impeccably dressed and coiffed.

I am not sure how much longer she'll live. I never thought she'd make it this far, she smoked for 40 years.

My grandma is the same way...not quite as bad as not being able to talk or walk, but she's slowly getting there. She's hunched over from osteoporosis and it's very difficult for her to walk, even with help from a walker. My brother and dad went to visit her at the hospital and she knew who my dad was, but she didn't know who my brother was. She was that way the last time I saw her, she asked me who I was. I was just patient with her and explained who I was and how I was related to her, I don't think she fully knew who I was after that, but she knew we were related somehow.

It's tough.

[Knuckles]

I want to check out before my mind starts going.

[QueenAdrock]

Edit: nevermind.

[Praying Mantis]

And the doctors are saying it doesn't look too good. I have mixed feelings. I love my grandma so much, but everytime I've talked to her in the past year she's said "Diana, don't let yourself get old like me." Anytime I say "How are you?" she's replied "Not well." Seeing her in the state she's been in for the past few years has made me sad. I honestly don't think she fears death anymore.

I don't want her to leave me, but I also don't want to see her suffer anymore. I want her to be at peace. I'll be devestated if she dies, but on the other hand, I'll also know that she no longer has any pain. Maybe it's just her time.

I feel bad for thinking this, though. :(

I know how you feel about this. This is how I was when my gradfather got diagnosed with cancer and died a couple weeks later. He was in a very grave, painful and deteriorating state from Easter Sunday (the last time I saw him and Hugged him) until he died 3 weeks later with my mom and family sitting vigil. Even though I was devestated when he died (we were so close) death was the best thing for him. He died 1 day before his 84th birthday, but he wasn't in pain anymore and I think he also knew how hard it was for us to watch him in the state that he was. There is not a day that goes by that when I think of him, I dont see both images (the happy & the hospital). I hope no one has to see a loved one that way. It hurst so much.
Sorry if Im rambling.

Just wanted to let you know don't punish yourself for wanting them to be in peace (however that happens)

[QueenAdrock]

Thanks guys. :)

[yeahwho]

Yeah it's sad stuff when the grandparents get old, on my dad's side Grandpa was always sweet and that was OK, then for years he was the "Grumpy Old Man" and that was OK, then when he lost it and was just sort of knotted up and out there it was not OK, it was sad.....I missed "Grumpy Old Man"

"In my day, we didn't have safety standards for toys. We got rusty nails and big bags of broken glass! That's the way it was, and we liked it! We loved it!".

Then he passed away and the memories have always switched up to a beautiful combination of sweet and grumpy, he was a first class act, as I'm sure your Grandma has been for the overwhelming majority of her life.

*favorite dana carvey character*

[cookiepuss]

when my grandma on my dad's side started to decline in health she was miserable. we asked her what she wanted for her birthday and she said "I just want to die." :( sometimes I think it's silly that we euthanize animals to end their suffering but we get into some moral kunundrum over euthanizing humans.

[Lex Diamonds]

I just found out my dad's gone into hospital, they're saying it's probably hepatitis. I guess I'm there with you, Diana.

[QueenAdrock]

:(

I hope he gets better, Paddy.

[Lex Diamonds]

Well he had a brain-crippling stroke 4 years ago and doesn't know who he or anyone else is anymore so there isn't much to get better to, but thanks for the support anyway.

I hope your gran is OK.

[Randetica]

that sucks
and im sorry to hear, my bunch of loveables

[QueenAdrock]

She passed away today. I found out about an hour ago. I have a mixture of relief and sadness.

On the upside, Cmute randomly called me and made me feel better by doing his Jimmy Stewart impression. :o(y)

[b i o n i c]

glad you're alright.

[Knuckles]

All the best to you and your family Queen.









and I'm so sorry you had to suffer through a phone call from Cmute.

That must have been terrible...

:(

[QueenAdrock]

It wasn't terrible until the sexual harassment started.

...I mean, he said he didn't mind it, but I still felt bad for doing it afterwards.

[miss soul fire]

I don't want her to leave me, but I also don't want to see her suffer anymore.

That's what people usually feel and it seems pretty right. I mean, if you are not selfish, you think like that. It's totally ok, Diana.

[abcdefz]

Best wishes to your family, Queen. I hope you have lots of great memories to keep.

[QueenAdrock]

Thanks for the kind wishes.

And Roby, that makes me feel better. :)

[Rock]

Jeeez, I'm sorry to hear about it. I wish I knew what to say but I don't. But I think what you said in your first post kind of sums it all up.

"I don't want her to leave me, but I also don't want to see her suffer anymore. I want her to be at peace. I'll be devestated if she dies, but on the other hand, I'll also know that she no longer has any pain. Maybe it's just her time."

[Randetica]

CASE CLOSED.

j/fk

my mum felt the same way when her dad died



R.I.P. queen's grandma

[Lex Diamonds]

My condolences for your loss, hope your family are dealing with it alright. Try and concentrate on the positives and be relieved it finally happened relatively stress-free. (y)

[Yeti]

Queen I am sorry to hear about your Grandma. You are a intelligent and caring woman with a great sense of humor. I am sure that your Grandma had a hand in shaping your beliefs. Hold her memories close to your heart.
Best wishes now and always.

[QueenAdrock]

Aww, thanks again you guys, you're the best internet friends ever. :o

That may be one of the dorkiest things I've said...today.