whats a funeral like?

[ggirlballa]

my cousin's funeral (http://beastieboys.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=81023"") is coming up and i've never been to one ever before so i have no idea how they are like cept that ur suppose to wear black. what am i suppose to do when the whole place gets teary eyed and i'm the only one not crying (I doubt that i won't cry tho) etc stuff like that
also the wake must be awful

i'm pretty nervous about it

[insertnamehere]

ive only been to a funeral when i was like 3, so i dont think that counts. ive skipped all other funerals that i probably should have attended. but i think you just kind of sit there while people talk, and then you take turns walking up to look at them. im guessing pretty much everyone there will be family, so you will know them, so just act however you feel like acting (as long as its within the bounds of acceptable and respectful behaviour) and do whatever the other people do, sit there, sniffle, there will probably be some walking around making chit chat before or after. of course im basing all of this off of what i've seen in six feet under. but really its nothing big or elaborate. you dont have to be nervous about preforming badly at the funeral or anything.

[ericlee]

The only way I can personally describe a funeral is being refreshing.

No, I'm not trying to be morbid. The fist one I've seen was my Dad. He suffered a hard life and all so, I felt kind of good that his suffering has been to a halt.

I then saw my grandma's funeral. Well, she died of old age.

What hurt me the most was the most recent. My best friend, Jer. I can't go into detail about it again cause I wrote a whole thread about his passing but, he shouldn't have died. Leave it to some stupid doctor to kill someone.

[funk63]

depressing.

[ET]

Were you the same person who asked about how to send a handwritten letter?

[TAL]

Less boring than a wedding.

[beastiegirrl101]

Man, I was raised in a funeral home...well not really but been going to them as long as I was born, my parents never wanted to shelter us from that as some of the other kids in my neighborhood growing up parents did. I know some people that still have never been to one and I just dont get it. Death is a part of life...

...they are never easy to go to but I was always under the impression you go for the living to support them...not for the dead. And you dont have to wear black, just nothing flashy.

[TAL]

Less boring than a wedding.

I was correct.

[cosmo105]

they're more to give the living a sense of closure and feel like they're honoring the dead than anything, in my opinion. but nata's right too, you're also there to show support to those they left behind.

they're depressing, but can be helpful if you're really grieving and need that catharsis.

[Randetica]

i went to two funerals last year
i cried both times but it was no big deal at all
people are probably too busy with their own tears to care if others tear it out

[Chicka B]

Yeah I been to 2 funerals, one was my great grandma and the other was my step grandma. They both died of old age and I didn't know them well, so I didn't cry. But yeah, I don't think people will think badly of you if you don't cry or even care, maybe just assume you're still in the shock or denial stage or something. Just be respectful and yourself, there's really no way to act. The way your cousin died was horrible. :(

[b-grrrlie]

I've been to quite a few funerals. In Finland they don't have the bodies for show so they don't embalm them either. When my maternal grandma died we did go to see the body tho, which wasn't such a good idea. They hadn't closed her mouth or eyes so the rigor mortis had given her a horrible impression. I felt so sorry for my aunts to see her like that, it was heartbreaking.

When my best friend's oldest son died at 16 they embalmed him and had him on show. It was a pity they'd put the rope marks on his neck on show tho... I wish they'd put some make-up on them.

How you feel and act at the funerals themselves depends very much on how close you were with the deceased, but also a good priest (or whoever keeps the ceremony) can bring the waterworks out of anyone. Bring tissues and hopefully there's someone whose hands you can hold.

[Randetica]

^damn

i never want to see one of my family members dead not even when they look like they just fell asleep, good thing we dont do that here or i wouldnt go to any funerals

guess it's a big deal this way

[Frank Black]

i've been to 4, and the best advice i can give is to try and pull this face : | for as long as possible.

[TurdBerglar]

my family just burns them dead motherfuckers.


what a fucking nuisance a funeral/wake/burial must be. off you go to the oven grandpa.

[BangkokB]

Funerals suck. There's no alcohol and you have to smoke outside~WTF they're dead

My funeral is gonna go like this: I'm shot out of a cannon to the spot I met my demise

Bootsy Collins is going to read a few words about me then light the fuze

and beforehand there's an open bar.

[cosmo105]

^nice

i'm going to be ground up in a blender and fed to killer whales and/or penguins. then the circle will be complete.

[venusvenus123]

my cousin's funeral (http://beastieboys.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=81023"") is coming up and i've never been to one ever before so i have no idea how they are like cept that ur suppose to wear black. what am i suppose to do when the whole place gets teary eyed and i'm the only one not crying (I doubt that i won't cry tho) etc stuff like that
also the wake must be awful

i'm pretty nervous about it

i was just going to offer you advice on stopping yourself crying... looks like you won't need it. :confused:

you're a bot? you don't feel e.m.o.t.i.o.n?

in case you need it: bite the end of your tongue when you feel tears pricking your eyes. works every time.

[b-grrrlie]

^nice

i'm going to be ground up in a blender and fed to killer whales and/or penguins. then the circle will be complete.
I wanna be freezedried (no crematorium for me!!! That's one of the worst ozone layer destroyers!) and then used as a fertilizer for a weeping pear (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyrus_salicifolia)

[insertnamehere]

i was just going to offer you advice on stopping yourself crying... looks like you won't need it. :confused:

you're a bot? you don't feel e.m.o.t.i.o.n?

in case you need it: bite the end of your tongue when you feel tears pricking your eyes. works every time.


she said she doubts she won't cry, which means she expects to cry. i think. either that or the double negative was an accident. or something. im confused.

[venusvenus123]

she said she doubts she won't cry, which means she expects to cry. i think. either that or the double negative was an accident. or something. im confused.

ah yes, thank you. serves me right for posting just before bed!

sorry about your cousin ggballa:(

[Nivvie]

It kind of cheating for me to say this but having worked in the funeral service means I've been to hundreds.

They vary very much based on culture. Some are just a mass of drunk people, vomit and fights breaking out (Irish, Scots looking in your direction), others very religious (Jews, Muslims). Some are just almost silent, people going through the motions. Little kids one's are just horrible, glass horse drawn carriages with pink coffins and names in pink flowers.

I personally like a good howler, it warmed me to see people cry, to be moved to tears myself by emotional speeches. Far better than a sparsely attended affair where all anyone wants to do is get down the pub for a pint and sausage roll and to speculate about inheritance. The amount people cry and appear in shock seems to be closely aligned with how mcuh the deceased was loved in their life.

I've always found funerals of loved ones to be surreal, and I've really regretted the ones I wasn't able to attend . There seems to be a gap without it, like a full stop off the end of a sentence