I think birds hate me

[Drederick Tatum]

I've been attacked by a lot of birds in my time. magpies, seagulls, sparrows, pigeons, tuis, fantails and even a rooster called Mussolini. I used to have to walk to school with a tennis racket to fight them off. thankfully moas are extinct otherwise I would be dead. I'm not sure what I am doing to these birds to make them hate me, but it seems rather irrational on their part.

consider this the start of a support group for those discriminated against by these flying vermin.

[cosmo105]

i've been shat upon by birds more times than i care to count. seriously, i stopped keeping track at 10, and that was probably 6 years ago. i haven't been for quite some time, but for years the big thing was to stay away from jessica when a large flock of birds is in the air. i've had many a sweater utterly ruined (that shit does NOT come out) by it. i don't get it. :(

[Randetica]

nothing like that ever happend to me probabaly cause they feel im one of them

[Caribou]

I've been shat on by a bird only once. And my mums budgie has bitten me, but it doesn't really count as a bird, because it's a gaylord.

[TurdBerglar]

how the fuck does a pigeon attack?

[Drederick Tatum]

well they are primarily city birds, so many of them carry knives.

[Frank Black]

rats of the sky..

[ericlee]

I was outside of my friend's house waiting for him on my bike. I reached my hand out and said, "are you coming or what?".

As soon as I've reached my hand out, a damn bird already had it in it's scopes and plopped a huge pile right into the middle of my hand.

[The Notorious LOL]

I have been attacked by a mccaw and chased by an ostrich, as well as shit upon by several birds.


The only birds that like me are ducks and chickens

[Deep_Sea_Rain]

As kids, a bird shat in my brother's eye whilst we were out hiking with some friends. I don't think I rushed to his aid, either. Just laughed.

Alot.

[Frank Black]

boids lav me mayne, wha can oi say?

[skra75]

One time I was enjoying a skyline hot-dog outdoors when I saw a flock of birds fly overhead. I looked down and noticed a drop of chili had fallen from my hot-dog and onto my jeans. I was like aw-shoot so I grabbed the chili with my finger and subconciously licked my finger afterwards.

Only to find out it was not skyline chili at all - it was berry-colored bird poop

:eek:
:(

[mikizee]

Thats horrific.

[QueenAdrock]

i've been shat upon by birds more times than i care to count. seriously, i stopped keeping track at 10, and that was probably 6 years ago. i haven't been for quite some time, but for years the big thing was to stay away from jessica when a large flock of birds is in the air. i've had many a sweater utterly ruined (that shit does NOT come out) by it. i don't get it. :(

Birds crapping on you apparently is good luck.

[mikizee]

Birds crapping on you apparently is good luck.

Thats just what people say to shit victims to make them feel better. Just like saying to a bride on her wedding day when its pissing down with rain, 'Don't worry honey, rain on your wedding day is good luck!!!! Or something!!!!'

[QueenAdrock]

Then how do you explain me not being lucky and also not being shat upon frequently? Obviously there's something amiss there.

[paul jones]

I've been attacked by a lot of birds in my time. magpies, seagulls, sparrows, pigeons, tuis, fantails and even a rooster called Mussolini. I used to have to walk to school with a tennis racket to fight them off. thankfully moas are extinct otherwise I would be dead. I'm not sure what I am doing to these birds to make them hate me, but it seems rather irrational on their part.

consider this the start of a support group for those discriminated against by these flying vermin.


I need to start drawing cartoons again cos this would be a great idea for a comic strip(y)

[abcdefz]

Birds like me. I've been pooped on by many birds, but they were pets.

I'm a regular St. Francis of Asinine. (y)

[beastieangel01]

I've had my jacket get shit on by a seagull but it was beside me on a bench. Otherwise, I've never been shit on by a bird or attacked by any really. Guess I've been lucky and perhaps it's for the better... I think I'd freak out a lot because I used to watch "the Birds" way too many times as a kid.

[abcdefz]

I helped two birds out of a laundromat this weekend. They'd gotten trapped inside the display window when the front door was propped open. One of the two was pretty cool about it; hopped on my hand a few times. The other one was a scaredy cat. Bird.

[HEIRESS]

you should fight a kea sprew, pretty sure you'd lose

canada geese are scary too. total human predators.

[ggirlballa]

chased by an ostrich,


the funniest image comes to mind

[Drederick Tatum]

man, all you guys went straight to the pooping. I've never been pooped on, but I suppose that can be seen as a form of assault. birds are always swooping down on me. sometimes in pairs and that's just unnecessary and cruel.

[ET]

I had the grand opportunity of visiting New York and when I finally got a slice of pizza a pigeon had to up and shit on it. I was one bite away from feeling like a ninja turtle. :(

[abcdefz]

you should fight a kea sprew, pretty sure you'd lose

canada geese are scary too. total human predators.



Man oh man. Having grown up on a lake, I'd have to say swans.

So beautiful, and such peckerheads. You haven't truly lived until you've had a swan with an eight-foot (?) wingspan chase you across the lake in your innocent little fishing boat, outrunning your little 5 hp Evenrude motor, craning* its head in past the motor to nip at you as you tried to outrun it.

Highly recommended. :(





























*No pun intended

[Bob]

one time i was golfing, and there was a flock of geese

[Bob]

and i accidentally hit one in the butt. it didn't really react, it just kind of quacked (or whatever noise it is that geese make...i'm gonna call it quacking) and hopped around a little.

so i went to make my next shot, and right at the top of my swing, the entire gaggle starts fucking quacking, all at the same time. i nearly shat myself. they didn't attack though. which is good. for them.

[TurdBerglar]

i think geese honk

[Drederick Tatum]

maybe they're swooping down at you because they like you and want to get a closer look at you

with my first name, that is a possibility. maybe they just wanna hang. (http://conservation.catholic.org/Francis-Birds.jpg) but now it's probably too late. my attempts to hit them with sporting equipment will have angered them.

[ericlee]

and out of nowhere......A song gets stuck in my head. Sung to tune of "The Overweight Lover's"- Heavy D



Birds, the birds they hate D..
He's the underweight avian target
Drederick T...





Yeah, I'm toasted.

[Drederick Tatum]

hahahaha. awesome.
hey eric, you ever think about clouds, man. man, I dont mean like, think about them, I mean really think about them. about like, what they're for and what they're trying to tell us, man. thats some heavy stuff.

[ericlee]

hahahaha. awesome.
hey eric, you ever think about clouds, man. man, I dont mean like, think about them, I mean really think about them. about like, what they're for and what they're trying to tell us, man. thats some heavy stuff.

Dude. Clouds are nothing but sleeper cells of the avian. They've all got diagrams of your weaknesses and your most vulnerable spots. They study those in the darkness of the clouds, knowing they're incognito to all, except for some commuter planes.

Inside those clouds, they fuck. Making eggs, more air assault troops to swoop upon you once they've completed basic winging.

The clouds man. They're breeding and training grounds for the airborne rodents.