View Full Version : i helped a kid steal a bike today
TurdBerglar
08-25-2007, 05:40 PM
i come out of work and there's this kid struggling trying to yank all this shit that got caught up in his chain/gears. i walk over and give him a hand. mike comes over later on and helps me with a pocket knife. meanwhile the kid is just chilling there eating some candy all calm and relaxed. me and mike managed to get all the shit untangled from the chain. the kid shakes our hands and thanks us. the kid jumps on the bike and takes off like a bat out of hell. me and mike were all like, "well he's in a fucking hurry, huh?". as soon as the kid bolted two other kids come out of the dollar store and one of them starts screaming that his bike is missing. me and mike just look at one another with these stupid looks on our faces. this one kids is in tears. bawling is fucking eyes out. i just shrugged and was all like... lesson learned, kid.
i see it this way. i helped a kid get a bike and i helped an idiot learn not to leave his bike sitting outside of a store unattended. yeah, i didn't do anything bad. not at all. who the fuck doesn't teach their kid not to leave their fucking bike outside of a store??? really... c'mon now.
it wasn't locked up or anything?
TurdBerglar
08-25-2007, 05:56 PM
no, bob
the kid deserved it. both of the parties involved deserved exactly what they got.
kaiser soze
08-25-2007, 06:00 PM
punk ass kid....yes you
Wouldn't it be funny if the thief was hit be a truck just a couple blocks down the road?
What a lot of pish. Right enough, if it was unlocked then the kid will have learned that lesson but come on, how old was this kid, seriously? Evidently not everybody is born with as much common sense as you, turd.
What was it that was caught in the gears, exactly?
roosta
08-25-2007, 06:03 PM
the kid deserved it. both of the parties involved deserved exactly what they got.
the thief didn't deserve that bike
What a lot of pish. Right enough, if it was unlocked then the kid will have learned that lesson but come on, how old was this kid, seriously? Evidently not everybody is born with as much common sense as you, turd.
What was it that was caught in the gears, exactly?
not a lock, i hope
TurdBerglar
08-25-2007, 06:04 PM
all the kids were like between 8-10 and a bunch of fucking fabric was in the gears. i don't even know how the kid that actually owned the bike could even ride it. the drive train was locked completely up. maybe that was his anti theft devise.
TurdBerglar
08-25-2007, 06:05 PM
the thief didn't deserve that bike
sure he did
roosta
08-25-2007, 06:06 PM
sure he did
good explanation
TurdBerglar
08-25-2007, 06:07 PM
he deserved it
the other kid was an idiot. survival of the fittest?
I love that you of all people justify this by labelling the ten year old an idiot.
Next time you get hit by a bus because you don't look both ways ... ssssnap!
TurdBerglar
08-25-2007, 06:12 PM
if i get hit by a bus then im a fucking idiot
TurdBerglar
08-25-2007, 06:13 PM
and why can't a ten year old be an idiot? does he get a free pass?
I would've called it innocence.
You thinking this is all just though, yeah, that'd be stupidity.
TurdBerglar
08-25-2007, 06:16 PM
it's not just but i can't blame the kid for taking the bike. bikes are like pussy for kids.
it's not just but i can't blame the kid for taking the bike. bikes are like pussy for kids.
he deserved it
the other kid was an idiot. survival of the fittest?
Not trying to justify it, eh?
TurdBerglar
08-25-2007, 06:19 PM
this is what's wrong with kids today. defending them when they did something stupid. makes them weak. that's why they can't handle getting picked on and they turn into those emo douchebags and go on killing sprees.
Lyman Zerga
08-25-2007, 08:39 PM
punk ass kid....yes you
Wouldn't it be funny if the thief was hit be a truck just a couple blocks down the road?
i know i would laugh (y)
Schmeltz
08-26-2007, 03:19 AM
So it turns out Turdburglar is a Qdrop alias. Or maybe it's the other way around?
Either way, your "survival of the fittest" thing is bullshit. As someone who's had his locked bike stolen out his parents' yard, I say fuck you.
TurdBerglar
08-26-2007, 08:32 AM
that's totally different having it on your property. but this thing was just laying out on the sidewalk. nothing more than picking fruit off a tree.
TurdBerglar
08-26-2007, 08:56 AM
and fuck the birds and the bees. his parents should have taught him. i hope his parents don't feel bad for him and buy him a new bike for condolence. you don't reward bad behavior.
roosta
08-26-2007, 09:02 AM
you don't reward bad behavior.
you just condone it?
TurdBerglar
08-26-2007, 09:05 AM
the kid leaving the bike unattended is much much worse bad behavior than the kid jut coming along and fiinding a bike.
roosta
08-26-2007, 09:09 AM
the kid leaving the bike unattended is much much worse bad behavior than the kid jut coming along and fiinding a bike.
that's complete nonsense. One kid stole something that didn't belong to him, the other kid made a stupid mistake. Its not bad behavior, its stupid behaviour. Stealing stuff is bad behavior.
scotty
08-26-2007, 09:28 AM
So the kid who had his bike stolen did the wrong thing by not locking it? And the kid who stole it had every right to do so? And you stand there, shrug and walk away from a theft that you assisted in, while the owner, and 10-year-old, is crying? How the fuck you can sit there, justifying your actions and taking no responsibility. Fuckin' hell, turd, the kid was only ten years old.
Chicka B
08-26-2007, 10:10 AM
Haha, it's ok Turd people make mistakes. It's just that, you have to take responsibility for them. I know it's hard. :D No no just kidding, but really. Don't feel too bad for it 'cause shit like this happens all the time and you didn't know. But I don't see where the kid is stupid, he did have his bike somehow tied up or something right? So it was obviously not just a bike carelessly set against the wall with a "take me" sign. And where's he supposed to leave it? He can't take it inside right? Maaan, that theif must feel really talented...successfully stealing a bike WITH the willing help of an adult. :p
zippo
08-26-2007, 12:08 PM
both of the parties involved
when you talk to Bob you can break out the lawyer speak because he understands you
zippo
08-26-2007, 12:19 PM
hey, if youre old enough to be riding out by yourself with your bike then youre old enough to know what the rules and dangers are, i.e. being responsible and protecting it from being stolen
b i o n i c
08-26-2007, 12:34 PM
its not like he knew the kid was stealing it!
turds got played like the kid got played, and both of them should cant do anything more than kick themselves in the ass for being caught off guard.
that kid will now grow up to buy all sorts of locks and safes for things. and when he buys his son a bike someday, he'll buy him the biggest, shiniest matching lock there is to go with it.
TurdBerglar
08-26-2007, 03:02 PM
that's complete nonsense. One kid stole something that didn't belong to him, the other kid made a stupid mistake. Its not bad behavior, its stupid behaviour. Stealing stuff is bad behavior.
i don't even really see it as an actual theft. stealing takes effort. this kid just happen to stumble upon a bike. everyone knows the deal about leaving your shit unattented in public. ESPECIALLY BIKES. you're basically leaving a FREE! TAKE ME! sign on your shit. this is common knowlege. and if the kid did not know this someone that is responsible for him should have taught him. what if one of your buddies left the keys in his ingnition and when he came back his car was gone? you'd fucking laugh at him and call him a retard... LESSON LEARNED YOU MORON. same fucking scenario.
you can't really blame someone for something that easy that ends with such a great reward. like you've never downloaded music yourself. or eaten shit from the bakery at the super market. same fucking shit. if it had been an adult ganking the kid's bike, then that's pretty fucking pathetic.
roosta
08-26-2007, 03:06 PM
you can't really blame someone for something that easy that ends with such a great reward. like you've never downloaded music yourself. or eaten shit from the bakery at the super market. same fucking shit. if it had been an adult ganking the kid's bike, then that's pretty fucking pathetic.
Ive robbed stuff, im not saying im morally superior to this fella, or that he's completely morally corrupt or anything. All im saying is he didn't deserve the bike.
TurdBerglar
08-26-2007, 03:09 PM
So the kid who had his bike stolen did the wrong thing by not locking it? And the kid who stole it had every right to do so? And you stand there, shrug and walk away from a theft that you assisted in, while the owner, and 10-year-old, is crying? How the fuck you can sit there, justifying your actions and taking no responsibility. Fuckin' hell, turd, the kid was only ten years old.
it's a dog eat dog world. he learned his fucking lesson. im not going to feel guilty for someone elses(the kid and the kid's parents) mistake. the world is not a utopia you need to teach this shit at a young age or you'll get walked all over. this is something i would have not done at that age or anyone else i knew at that age. none of my friends. none of my cousins. no one. to me this is something you just need to know not to do. the people that are responsible for you should teach you this shit. that's how i was raised. if you do stupid things you're gonna get taken advantage of. if you baby someone they're just gonna keep doing retarded shit that gets themselves trampled.
TurdBerglar
08-26-2007, 03:13 PM
Ive robbed stuff, im not saying im morally superior to this fella, or that he's completely morally corrupt or anything. All im saying is he didn't deserve the bike.
well the kid that left it there deserves it even less.
zippo
08-26-2007, 03:15 PM
ive stolen a couple of delicious tiny anis bread from the supermarket bakery and now that youve reminded me ill do it again tomorrow. and ofcourse im fucking morally superior to this kid, im grabbing bread, hes grabbing a bike. turd, could you shut up about defending a kid for stealing a bike, its retarded, it could have had some kind of comical relief but no
roosta
08-26-2007, 03:15 PM
well the kid that left it there deserves it even less.
well..hahaha..that could be true.
TurdBerglar
08-26-2007, 03:18 PM
i was taught to appreciate all the things that were given to me. i just find it down right disrespectful to be that irresponsible for something that was given to you.
Yetra Flam
08-27-2007, 12:48 AM
I bet you actually feel really bad about it and are actually just saying all this shit to try and justify it to yourself. "yeah i did the right thing! right? yeah! sure i did!"
So if the kid who stole the bike had come up to you and openly admitted he wanted to steal it but couldn't get whatever it was in the chains untangled, would you still have helped him?
Like fuck you would! You're making a fair point but the child was 10 years old and you have no idea what his actual situation at home is like, you might as well be blaming the parents, so just stop. talking.
abcdefz
08-27-2007, 12:42 PM
no, bob
the kid deserved it. both of the parties involved deserved exactly what they got.
Not to be mean or anything, but oxygen is wasted on you.
cookiepuss
08-27-2007, 01:06 PM
I can put a happy ending on this story that would make everyone feel better.
the bike stealer was friends with the kids who went in the store. He thought he'd punk them by stealing the bike. later that night the bike stealing kid took the bike back to his friend's house and they all had a good laugh, ate spagetti and meatballs and watched sports on TV. the end.
dude Turd, I'd have told the crying kid what happened and gave them a description of the kid that stole the bike...cause odds are they go to school with him and could spend weeks planning to enact some revenge on the little shit.
TurdBerglar
08-27-2007, 05:38 PM
So if the kid who stole the bike had come up to you and openly admitted he wanted to steal it but couldn't get whatever it was in the chains untangled, would you still have helped him?
Like fuck you would! You're making a fair point but the child was 10 years old and you have no idea what his actual situation at home is like, you might as well be blaming the parents, so just stop. talking.
i haven't blamed the parents? and a ten year old should know this shit.
Lyman Zerga
08-27-2007, 11:52 PM
Not to be mean or anything, but oxygen is wasted on you.
WOW you just noticed this NOW? :D
send me that little kid, i wanto to fill it up with cookies and mother it to death :)
afronaut
08-28-2007, 01:05 PM
it's a dog eat dog world. he learned his fucking lesson. im not going to feel guilty for someone elses(the kid and the kid's parents) mistake. the world is not a utopia you need to teach this shit at a young age or you'll get walked all over. this is something i would have not done at that age or anyone else i knew at that age. none of my friends. none of my cousins. no one. to me this is something you just need to know not to do. the people that are responsible for you should teach you this shit. that's how i was raised. if you do stupid things you're gonna get taken advantage of. if you baby someone they're just gonna keep doing retarded shit that gets themselves trampled.
You sound just as naive as someone who thinks this world is just all wonderful and nice and doesn't think they need to teach their kid to lock his bike up. You realize that, don't you?
And you also realize that you're full of shit...right? I hope your car gets stolen one day when you forget to lock it. You're like.....still stuck in the angsty teenage dog-eat-dog social darwinist "i don't give a fuck" stage. You're silly.
TurdBerglar
08-28-2007, 01:25 PM
You're like.....still stuck in the angsty teenage dog-eat-dog social darwinist "i don't give a fuck" stage. You're silly.
no
rest of society is. you can't change society so you need to adapt to it or you'll get taken advantage of. you can't beat fucking society. might as well join them.
paul jones
08-28-2007, 01:39 PM
next time I listen to CAR THIEF I'll change it to BIKE THIEF and think of you(y)
ps, my girlfriend had her bike stolen recently .Do you know who stole it? She really wants it back a lot, thanks(y)
BangkokB
08-28-2007, 01:43 PM
When my stepson brought that bike home and told me the story, I cried tears of joy. He's just like a chip of the ole block. And then we all laughed, ate spegatti with meatballs and watched bootleg cable.
Never to be outdone: I later stole a firetruck sirens a blaring and ran over the bike to teach him a lesson.
afronaut
08-28-2007, 02:21 PM
no
rest of society is. you can't change society so you need to adapt to it or you'll get taken advantage of. you can't beat fucking society. might as well join them.
I never said you can change society, I said you were naive and silly. But now that we're on the subject, society actually changes all the time. Of course, you don't notice it. Because you're naive. And silly.
You're a big teenager, really.
"you're silly"
"NO! SOCIETY IS SILLY! YOU CAN'T CHANGE SOCIETY! FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME! SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!"
cookiepuss
08-28-2007, 02:45 PM
You sound just as naive as someone who thinks this world is just all wonderful and nice and doesn't think they need to teach their kid to lock his bike up. You realize that, don't you?
And you also realize that you're full of shit...right? I hope your car gets stolen one day when you forget to lock it. You're like.....still stuck in the angsty teenage dog-eat-dog social darwinist "i don't give a fuck" stage. You're silly.
Actually from the Buddhist stand point you shouldn't be attached to your belongings in the first place. So when your things get stolen it's not the end of the world, you move on. well, you can spend alot of time on it, feeling angry and upset, but it won't make you happy so it's just a waste of energy.
really this kid just learned a valuable lesson. we don't really possess anything. the changing nature of the universe allows us ownership of nothing.
;)
(I mentioned last night that I was going to a buddhist reteat. it worked. I loved it. I'm calm and non-attached now.)
Drederick Tatum
08-28-2007, 02:47 PM
well if you don't want to possess your stuff, can I have some of it?
cookiepuss
08-28-2007, 02:51 PM
well if you don't want to possess your stuff, can I have some of it?
meh, it a bunch of junk anyway. I don't care.
but you can't have my dog. I mean he's not really mine, he's his own dog. but I want to keep living with him and he likes me alot.;)
Drederick Tatum
08-28-2007, 02:52 PM
ok, send me your computer. I will pay for the postage.
roosta
08-28-2007, 02:53 PM
(I mentioned last night that I was going to a buddhist reteat. it worked. I loved it. I'm calm and non-attached now.)
really? Im up to my eyeballs reading buddhist books lately. Might take a course later this year, and next year possibly a retreat.
Id still be pissed if a fucker stole my bike though!
cookiepuss
08-28-2007, 03:01 PM
really? Im up to my eyeballs reading buddhist books lately. Might take a course later this year, and next year possibly a retreat.
Id still be pissed if a fucker stole my bike though!
check out a guy called Jack Kornfeild. you can find his books on Amazon.com. He's great. he's considered one of the key teachers to bring Theravada Buddhism to the West. He does a great job of translating Buddhism to fit our western lives. He lead our meditation last night and lectured for a while after. really cool stuff.
Dedrick- you don't want my computer...it's a peice of crap. haa haa. I'd be a little bummed if someone took it but in the long run they'd be doing me a favor.
roosta
08-28-2007, 03:13 PM
check out a guy called Jack Kornfeild. you can find his books on Amazon.com. He's great. he's considered one of the key teachers to bring Theravada Buddhism to the West. He does a great job of translating Buddhism to fit our western lives. He lead our meditation last night and lectured for a while after. really cool stuff.
Cool, will do.
Drederick Tatum
08-28-2007, 03:19 PM
Dedrick- you don't want my computer...it's a peice of crap. haa haa. I'd be a little bummed if someone took it but in the long run they'd be doing me a favor.
well send me something. I want to help you.
cookiepuss
08-28-2007, 03:36 PM
well send me something. I want to help you.
I don't know why you wanna help me, I can't even spell your name right.:D
Drederick Tatum
08-28-2007, 03:50 PM
I just want to help you reach your Buddhist nirvana or whatever, by releasing you from the shackles of your stuff.
send me some money. it's only electrons in the end, so gimme.
TurdBerglar
08-28-2007, 04:52 PM
get this buddhist shit out of here
Actually from the Buddhist stand point you shouldn't be attached to your belongings in the first place. So when your things get stolen it's not the end of the world, you move on. well, you can spend alot of time on it, feeling angry and upset, but it won't make you happy so it's just a waste of energy.
really this kid just learned a valuable lesson. we don't really possess anything. the changing nature of the universe allows us ownership of nothing.
;)
(I mentioned last night that I was going to a buddhist reteat. it worked. I loved it. I'm calm and non-attached now.)
taoists are even crazier. there's a parable about a taoist sage who comes home one night to find that all of his stuff has been stolen, and he says "i wish i could have helped him do it," and he sees the moon through his window (it was night time i forgot to mention that) and he says "i wish i could have given him the moon, too"
i forget why though. something about action without action or the way or something. i bought the tao te ching but it's hard to read. real taoists don't read anyway, they get read to
cookiepuss
08-28-2007, 05:12 PM
get this buddhist shit out of here
that's exactly what Buddha would have said. Geez Turd, you have so much Buddha nature and you don't even know it.;)
Audio.
08-28-2007, 05:51 PM
"Me know nothing"
yeah, I would of said you done the right thing...though it does suck for the other kid and it does teaches him TO HAVE A LOCK when he is out riding. Still...:(
out of guilt I would of given him ten bucks at most since it would be my fault for helping a thief. Selling that bike for some chronic.(y)
Audio.
08-28-2007, 05:51 PM
Harden the fuck up.
haha chopper!:p
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