Yauch: if you have even one shred of decency you will read this

[Lex Diamonds]

Hi Yauch, my name is Paddy McLoughlin and I am a lifelong Beastie Boys fan. Both my parents died in a tragic accident attempting to build a giant fort out of rare Beastie Boys LPs when I was only 3 years old, and from that day I vowed to devote my life to an unerring fandom of the Beastie Boys.

Anyway the reason I am writing you this letter is that I recently acquired a rare STD called Paul's Nasty Communication Illness. It means I can only communicate through the Beastie Boys Message Board and has had a serious detrimental effect on my social life and my job as a tennis commentator for the blind.

The reason this involves you is because this is a disease that is usually only found in chickens, yet after listening to YOUR song Michelle's Farm and heeding the advice therein, well, one thing led to another and now I have this devastating disease to deal with indefinitely. However, there is ONE cure.

If you have a heart and you don't want me to die then you must come to my house and play a private Beastie Boys show for me and my friends, with the following setlist:

Netty's Girl
Some Dumb Cop Gave Me Two Tickets Already
Boomin' Granny
In A World Gone Mad
Girls
Fight For Your Right To Party
Michelle's Farm

This is the only thing that will cure me and you will agree to do it unless you are a spineless swine with no moral integrity. There will be refreshments and a selection of chips and dips for you after the show and I have some sleeping bags so you guys can crash on my floor.

Private message me to work out the deets, see you soon.

Paddy

[discopants]

Oh great, its like bird flu all over again. We're all gonna die! Urgh, I can see a rash, oh no, thats something else.
Incidentally, did you know that Mike's afro has a gravitational field which us pulling in the asteroid thats gonna kill us all long before "Al Gore's Global Warning". Just a warning if he gonna be in your house, you know, an umbrella might be advisable.
Huh, I cant wait until the cities of the world rise up on their steel legs to fight the Tesco Empire, will that twat Bono be on the front linethen, no I think not. I believe I've made my point.

[Lex Diamonds]

Do I detect a hint of mockery in your tone, young man? This is no laughing matter, my condition is seriously debilitating and has many painful side effects. How would you like it if your balls grew little legs with spiky talons and tried to climb up into your rectum while you were sleeping?

[Knuckles]

How would you like it if your balls grew little legs with spiky talons and tried to climb up into your rectum while you were sleeping?

Some people would pay good money to have that happen.

[LimeSyndicate]

I'm going to sound really cold but....calling them spineless and with no moral integrity unless they come to your house and perform...c'mon...even with your "condition"....this sounds really classy....

[abcdefz]

Hi Yauch, my name is Paddy McLoughlin and I am a lifelong Beastie Boys fan. Both my parents died in a tragic accident attempting to build a giant fort out of rare Beastie Boys LPs when I was only 3 years old, and from that day I vowed to devote my life to an unerring fandom of the Beastie Boys.

Anyway the reason I am writing you this letter is that I recently acquired a rare STD called Paul's Nasty Communication Illness. It means I can only communicate through the Beastie Boys Message Board and has had a serious detrimental effect on my social life and my job as a tennis commentator for the blind.

The reason this involves you is because this is a disease that is usually only found in chickens, yet after listening to YOUR song Michelle's Farm and heeding the advice therein, well, one thing led to another and now I have this devastating disease to deal with indefinitely. However, there is ONE cure.

If you have a heart and you don't want me to die then you must come to my house and play a private Beastie Boys show for me and my friends, with the following setlist:

Netty's Girl
Some Dumb Cop Gave Me Two Tickets Already
Boomin' Granny
In A World Gone Mad
Girls
Fight For Your Right To Party
Michelle's Farm

This is the only thing that will cure me and you will agree to do it unless you are a spineless swine with no moral integrity. There will be refreshments and a selection of chips and dips for you after the show and I have some sleeping bags so you guys can crash on my floor.

Private message me to work out the deets, see you soon.

Paddy




Dang. You're going to use up his last shred on this?

[Lex Diamonds]

I'm going to sound really cold but....calling them spineless and with no moral integrity unless they come to your house and perform...c'mon...even with your "condition"....this sounds really classy....I'm going to sound really cold but... kiss my shrivelled, diseased balls!

[Lyman Zerga]

you never told me :(

[Bob]

I'm going to sound really cold but....calling them spineless and with no moral integrity unless they come to your house and perform...c'mon...even with your "condition"....this sounds really classy....

seriously padster, even for you, this is low.

you know there are kids out there, with real diseases. kids with FAMILIES. and you want the beastie boys to come perform for YOU?

and frankly this whole disease of yours sounds a little dubious. my roommate's friend's cousin's sister went to a doctor once, so i know a thing or two about medicine and i've never heard of PNCI and i THINK I'D KNOW

to be quite honest sir i think you might be fibbing a little

[venusvenus123]

some spaghetti's gone up my nose and i can't stop sneezing. i'm sure the beastie boys should come to my house and bring me breakfast in bed. and then play croquet with me on my expansive lawn.

omg i'm still sneezing! it must be bird flew hew hew.

[Brother McDuff]

:rolleyes:

[LimeSyndicate]

seriously padster, even for you, this is low.

you know there are kids out there, with real diseases. kids with FAMILIES. and you want the beastie boys to come perform for YOU?

and frankly this whole disease of yours sounds a little dubious. my roommate's friend's cousin's sister went to a doctor once, so i know a thing or two about medicine and i've never heard of PNCI and i THINK I'D KNOW

to be quite honest sir i think you might be fibbing a little

I see I'm not the only one who's able to say their honest opinion.

[Lyman Zerga]

doubt a deadly sick boy like him could take the cold truth so watch your words

and make yauch proud!

[djdjdj]

And I thought I was bad.

[Bitchamachacha]

some spaghetti's gone up my nose and i can't stop sneezing. i'm sure the beastie boys should come to my house and bring me breakfast in bed. and then play croquet with me on my expansive lawn.

omg i'm still sneezing! it must be bird flew hew hew.

Oo! Oo! If he can't make it, can I bring you breakfast in bed?

One condition, though-- You must be naked and willing to share the spaghetti.

I'll bring wine!

[venusvenus123]

Oo! Oo! If he can't make it, can I bring you breakfast in bed?

One condition, though-- You must be naked and willing to share the spaghetti.

I'll bring wine!

this is no longer a thread about decency!!!(!)