View Full Version : Coerced into going to a strip club by coworkers
Freebasser
09-07-2007, 01:27 PM
The agency I worked for produced some tickets for a "gentlemen's evening" that's being held tomorrow night. It's basically a beer and strippers do at a local gym in a seedy part of town. Classy! Anyway, we got given a few tickets in return and the boss has told us all we're going.
I really don't want to go - partly because it's in a shithole part of town frequented by 18 year olds wearing pink shirts with their collars up, but mainly because I don't get the whole "let's get our bodies rubbed up by a bunch of manky slappers with bright orange skin and bleached blonde hair" thing. Strip joints are seedy. Full stop. I do not want to pay £20 for the privilege of having a plastic-titted teenage mum in an "I love Bernard Manning" T-shirt rubbing her minge in my face while she tells me about how hard her 'job' is.
Not only that, but I really could do with a night to just fucking fall asleep in bed watching TV and relax from the rigours of work - something I haven't done in 3 weeks. Plus, I don't really like the idea of having to spend yet another 5 hours of my life with the people I spend 35 hours a week crammed into a tiny office with anyway.
So you guys need to help me come up with an excuse. The best one I can come up with is that I have to meet an old friend in a pub in the middle of nowhere, but I'm open to other suggestions. I also thought of telling them that I'm gay or that I've converted to Islam, but somehow I don't think I'll be able to pull those off quite as successfully :/
cookiepuss
09-07-2007, 01:39 PM
bo-hooo. I feel so sorry for you. :rolleyes: for crying out loud just go, so you can laugh your ass off at your co-workers. One of the best things about strip clubs is watching dudes try to act like a statue when tittys and ass are being rubbed in their face. It's histerical. And somebody is going to get drunk and make a fool of themselves. you'll be able to bug them about it for months afterwards so why would you wanna miss that? (y)
stop whinning and go look at some snatch.
"i'm not gay, but i'll learn"
Yorkshire~Rose
09-07-2007, 02:02 PM
It's being held at a local gym? Wow, those girls will really be the 'creme de la creme' of the stripper world then. :p
Freebasser
09-07-2007, 02:19 PM
Indeed :(
Freebasser
09-07-2007, 02:25 PM
Yes - not wanting to see naked women makes me gay.
God, I'm so GAY! GAY GAY GAY!
GAY!
:p:p:p:p:p
Yorkshire~Rose
09-07-2007, 02:25 PM
I've never been to a female strip place. I have had the misfortune of seeing some male strippers at a dodgy pub. Yeah, that was fun. Having some ugly bloke dangling his flacid dick in my face... :/
The 'high point' was him taking some woman's drink and doing press ups 'into' it, if you know what i mean. Then she drank it all down in one go. That was one classy evening.
Yorkshire~Rose
09-07-2007, 02:29 PM
was he greasy too?
Oh god yes. That is a legal requirement i think. :D
Yes - not wanting to see naked women makes me gay.
God, I'm so GAY! GAY GAY GAY!
GAY!
:p:p:p:p:p
pretty much. you have the hair for it.
Freebasser
09-07-2007, 02:33 PM
Great :)
Lyman Zerga
09-07-2007, 02:35 PM
yo gf wont let yo go
Lindsey_1535
09-07-2007, 02:55 PM
I saw amature strippers once, one shaved her chacha in the bathroom while I was washing my hands. Super duper hot. :(
Knuckles
09-07-2007, 03:45 PM
I saw amature strippers once, one shaved her chacha in the bathroom while I was washing my hands. Super duper hot. :(
She just rinsed out the cooch hair from her razor in the pubic, er I mean public sink?
BARF!
Yes - not wanting to see naked women makes me gay.
God, I'm so GAY! GAY GAY GAY!
GAY!
:p:p:p:p:p
no no i mean that's the excuse you should use not to go
it's a simpsons quote you faggot
Kid Presentable
09-07-2007, 08:38 PM
I don't know if you're still taking suggestions, but running naked into a primary school with 'whore' written on your belly in shoe-polish usually solves most social problems, male or female.
I hate strip clubs. I've refused a dance that someone bought me one time. The place's just smell of semen and depression.
This one place doesn't even have a changing room for the girls, they have to use the toilets that all the other girls use. My friend was in there one time and one of the striper's said my friend and pretty hair and was saying how she strips to make money for her son.
russhie
09-08-2007, 04:46 AM
It's quite bizarre that your boss would be all "right! we're going to get shitfaced at a dodgy titty bar" for a work function.
Surely nobody can force you into watching ugly naked girls gyrate on your co-worker's laps...the whole thing seems pretty gross. What do the women in your workplace think of it? (assuming you do work with women)
Freebasser
09-08-2007, 07:19 AM
It's a blokes only office. They really are blokes' blokes too. I bet they spend their weekends reading Nuts and Zoo and playing online strip poker while draped in an England flag.
I've decied to fob them off with excuses. I'm "meeting a friend at a pub in Manchester" and in the process I'm going to "lose track of time" and "realise it's too late to get to the strippers do" wink, wink ;)
RobMoney$
09-08-2007, 10:06 AM
Just go, and if it sucks that bad you can pull a Murphy.
Planetary
09-08-2007, 12:25 PM
just say you're stripperaphobic.
say you're allergic to vaginas
Yetra Flam
09-09-2007, 10:45 PM
Oh christ, that's easy. Just pretend you're a feminist or something and that you're offended by women doing that. They won't want to spend any time with you whatsoever. Totally off the hook.
Pussy on dry ice...
Eugh!
abcdefz
09-10-2007, 10:13 AM
Don't lie. Just say it's not your thing. Why's that a big deal? It doesn't make you less of a man to not want to go see strippers, but lying about it is kinda weak.
I hate strip clubs. I've refused a dance that someone bought me one time. The place's just smell of semen and depression.
This one place doesn't even have a changing room for the girls, they have to use the toilets that all the other girls use. My friend was in there one time and one of the striper's said my friend and pretty hair and was saying how she strips to make money for her son.
The Stripclubs in Scotland sound like garbage.
The best thing about going to the strip clubs is riding up there. Once you get in there it gets pretty boring....fast.
abcdefz
09-10-2007, 10:36 AM
...and the ATMs have such reasonable rates.
The Stripclubs in Scotland sound like garbage.
The best thing about going to the strip clubs is riding up there. Once you get in there it gets pretty boring....fast.
Exactly.....you get all worked up thinking---titties titties titties. When you leave your pockets are empty and you can't get the flabby chick with bad tattoos out of your mind.
Strip clubs are like soft core porn on skinamax, caffeine free Coca Cola & near Beer. Who needs to frustrated, depressed and sober.
skra75
09-10-2007, 11:16 AM
if you don't have a girlfriend, there is NO REASON you should not go. Please stop being such a faggot. Here's a trick, get drunk first that way a) your standards will be lower b) you won't be buying spensive-ass cocktails and watered down booze to mask the awkwardness.
Just go and make fun of the flaws of the dancers with your workmates and laugh about the "career strip-club hobos" in sweatpants and bad sneakers/no-socks.
Freebasser
09-10-2007, 11:27 AM
1) I do have a girlfriend
2) The strip do was 3 days ago
3) Why are you using the word faggot if you're over the age of 16?
skra75
09-10-2007, 11:30 AM
1) I do have a girlfriend
2) The strip do was 3 days ago
3) Why are you using the word faggot if you're over the age of 16?
1) Noted, thank you. Reason enough, just say you have a girlfriend. Also, it's kinda lame to go to strip club if you have a girlfriend, you should be gettin' some @ home justfine.
2) OK, also noted. It's funnyyou used the word 'do' like that, I associate 'do' only with hair'do'.
3) I use this word like I use salt in my cooking.
hpdrifter
09-10-2007, 12:06 PM
So what happened? Did you go? Did you lie?
hpdrifter
09-10-2007, 01:26 PM
if you don't have a girlfriend, there is NO REASON you should not go. Please stop being such a faggot.
This is patently ridiculous and not at all what I would expect from you.
skra75
09-10-2007, 01:49 PM
This is patently ridiculous and not at all what I would expect from you.
either you're being sarcastic or you don't know me very well. In my experience strip clubs are a great time, even if you're going to just act like an ass with your pals, with the exception being that you leave there with less money which succkkkkksssss.
Lyman Zerga
09-10-2007, 02:33 PM
his backwards chimp shines through :eek:
hpdrifter
09-10-2007, 03:25 PM
either you're being sarcastic or you don't know me very well. In my experience strip clubs are a great time, even if you're going to just act like an ass with your pals, with the exception being that you leave there with less money which succkkkkksssss.
No, not sarcastic. Just surprised. You came off a little frat boyish there to me. Which is fine, it just doesn't veg with the glasses-wearing, comic book reading, art guy I've come to e-know.
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