I need your input - help please

[hpdrifter]

I had a bad weekend. Early Saturday morning, my friend D cheated on his wife, K, who is also my friend, with a girl who is sort of my friend, M. The circumstances are unclear, M spent a lot of time bonding with K earlier in the night telling her how glad she was that they were friends and whatnot. Only a few hours later, she messed around with D while K was asleep in the next room.

As if that wasn't complicated enough, my boyfriend gets his trees from M. I told him I'm not comfortable with him going to her house anymore. The thing is, she says similar things to me about how glad she is we're friends and how wonderful I am. And whenever she has some stuff for my boyfriend she always invites both of us over and wants us to hang out, have a few beers, talk, etc.

He said if I trust him it shouldn't be a problem. Subtext: he needs to get his weed so he is going to keep getting it from her.

I don't know if he still feels that way or if he just said that in the heat of the moment. Either way, do you think its unfair of me to ask him not to go over there anymore? Or unfair of him to insist on continuing?

[Rock]

Its all a matter of trust. Obviously your friend can't be trusted. But can you trust your man with your friend? If so, then don't sweat it. If you have some doubt, tell him that you aren't comfortable with it at all.

Last but not least, if you tell him not hang out with your friend, then YOU have to find him a better herb hookup.

[hpdrifter]

Yes, I can trust him. I think even if she threw herself at him he wouldn't touch her. That's my gut feeling.

But I still think he should be more considerate of my feelings.

He has other hookups they're just less reliable.

[skra75]

drugs are bad M K? (http://www.indcjournal.com/archives/mackey.jpg)

[hpdrifter]

Well I couldn't (!) care less about herb and don't smoke it. But he loves it so he's going to get it from somewhere.

[beastieangel01]

I could see how you would be uncomfortable, however, I'm with Rock on this one.

[hpdrifter]

Ok cool. I'll let it go. He did say that if she ever did anything inappropriate he'd tell me and he wouldn't go over there again. So that's something.

Honestly, I think she's probably super ashamed and embarassed (as she should be) and will be hiding out for awhile. I don't know, she claims that she blacked out and doesn't remember. My gut feeling on that is that its bullshit.

It just sucks because our happy little family is out of balance. Our innocuous, flirty, semi-silly behavior is no longer cool and everything is askew. We had a great thing going, a big group of good friends who hang out a lot and have great times together, take trips, go out, celebrate holidays, birthdays, whatever days together. I hope we can get the magic back eventually.