Oh the stupid arguments me and the lady get into

[ericlee]

I spend every weekday at the apartment. Only leave to go to work and come back and spend the whole rest of the night here. I go out at least twice a month and it seems everytime I do go out, my wife gets pissed yet, she advises me that it's ok, she doesn't want to go cause she got off work and she's tired.

I do go out and stay kind of late but, I'm trying to meet new people. This stranger in a strange land stuff is so boring. Whenever I get home, it's argument time and I can't stand it. Yeah, I've woken up in odd places but, as said, it even happens sober so, she's not upset about that at all.

I just can't figure it out. I'm not out with wrong intentions. I'll never cheat. I just think if I stay home everyday she'll be happy.

For one thing, I'm trying to get this band to advance and the more people you know, the better it'll be.

[TurdBerglar]

she just wants attention, dude

[ericlee]

Yeah, I give it to her. I mean, she gets real damn brutal over this stuff. Non speakin terms right now.

If she doesn't want to go and do anything, it doesn't mean I don't want to. I can't stand just sitting here all the damn time. And if she tells me I can go but I get the 3rd degree when I get back...WTF?!!?:confused:

[TurdBerglar]

a friend of mine has a girl like that. she gets real ripshit if he ever goes and does shit without her. he just tells her to go fuck herself but in a more polite way. they live together and pretty much spend 90% of their free time together and yet she still wants him all to herself and seems to think he's obligated to give it to her.

[ericlee]

do you shag her when you get home after going out?

She's in bed already most of the time. I do my duty during the weekdays when I'm always home.

[milleson]

Marriage is awesome. Yep.

[Dorothy Wood]

I get bored sometimes if it's just me and stink pot just doing stuff alone together. I like being around other people too. although, last night we went to a party and were kind of separated from eachother for most of the party, but then in the end kind of sat together and started talking and laughing and having a great time and it kind of rejuvenated our relationship I think. reminded us of why we're together.

which is good because earlier we were on the verge of our first fight. 5 months and no fighting kind of puts me on edge anyway. he was acting bored and tired at dinner and I was like, "are you okay?" and he was like "ah, yeah, I'm just feeling weird lately" and he was all crabby. so outside of the restaurant, I said, "are you going to break up with me tonight?" and he was like, "JESUS CHRIST! NO! what?" and I was like "well, I don't know". then he rubbed his beard on my face and I felt better.


She probably just doesn't want you to have fun without her or something. but she also sounds like she's mad at herself for not going out or not feeling like going out, or she's worried that you're mad that she's not going out. You should plan a date or something that involves a group activity so you guys can have fun together and like force her to go. sometimes it's good to go out and do something fun, rather than staying at home, even if you're tired.

[ericlee]

She's with her mom right now.

There's open mic in Brooklyn and I'm gonna bring my guitar there and do a song. I don't plan on drinking anything but coffee. I hope this doesn't even enrage her even more.

I'd call her and tell her I'm leaving but she's still a little pissed. Damn you ladies. We need an instruction manual for you!!

[Drederick Tatum]

I get bored sometimes if it's just me and stink pot just doing stuff alone together. I like being around other people too. although, last night we went to a party and were kind of separated from eachother for most of the party, but then in the end kind of sat together and started talking and laughing and having a great time and it kind of rejuvenated our relationship I think. reminded us of why we're together.

which is good because earlier we were on the verge of our first fight. 5 months and no fighting kind of puts me on edge anyway. he was acting bored and tired at dinner and I was like, "are you okay?" and he was like "ah, yeah, I'm just feeling weird lately" and he was all crabby. so outside of the restaurant, I said, "are you going to break up with me tonight?" and he was like, "JESUS CHRIST! NO! what?" and I was like "well, I don't know". then he rubbed his beard on my face and I felt better.

you talk like you've been together for years, but 5 months?! that's still 'honeymoon' time. but yeah, the party scenario you describe is a good one...although you two should still be going at 'it'.














....by 'it' I mean banging.















...by banging I mean sexual intercourse








































...by sexual intercourse I mean when a man and woman love each other very much the man will give the woman a big hug and they will fit together like a jigsaw puzzle and then babies will come out.

[russhie]

It goes both ways.

I'm quite happy for the boy to go out and whatnot, but if I come home and he hasn't done something he said he would before going out, then I get annoyed. If I broach this with him I'm accused of "not wanting him to have fun"

It's not so much the going out that is irritating, see. It can be a case of "I'll call you at eight" and not calling at all so that when I call at eleven to see if you're coming home or not tonight I'm understandably annoyed and "I forgot" isn't a valid excuse because you said you'd call you complete arsehole.

Or the fact that I called you for a reason and you were so shitfaced that you couldn't understand what I was saying. Many reasons.

Note: saying you forgot to call is a biiiig mistake. That's akin to saying "you're so far from my thoughts and priorities right now that you have possibly ceased to exist for all I care"

Put that in the manual.

[skra75]

I just can't figure it out. I'm not out with wrong intentions. I'll never cheat. I just think if I stay home everyday she'll be happy.

You remember the movie Titanic? When they hit the iceberg and people kind were like "OK, no big deal, lets see what happens next" when really they should have been crafting rafts out of doors and shit. Well, this thread is like that scene, I give your relationship 3 months tops, get out before she steals your shirt off your back and rips the heart from your chest.

[Dorothy Wood]

you talk like you've been together for years, but 5 months?! that's still 'honeymoon' time. but yeah, the party scenario you describe is a good one...although you two should still be going at 'it'.

....by 'it' I mean banging.

...by banging I mean sexual intercourse

...by sexual intercourse I mean when a man and woman love each other very much the man will give the woman a big hug and they will fit together like a jigsaw puzzle and then babies will come out.


I didn't mean to act like we've been together for years, "rejuvenated our relationship" is kind of extreme I guess and sounds like something from a commercial about a middle aged married couple.

We've both just been a little depressed lately because we moved into different apartments and don't live with our best friends anymore. and a bunch of people we know have moved away to stupid new york and california. and there's work stress and yadda yadda.

we're still jigsaw puzzling, no worries. I don't want any babies to come out yet though. :(



as for ericlee, I think everything will be okay. but I also think you should've called and told her that you were going to the open mic. and then pretended to lose reception so she couldn't yell at you. or you could have texted it to her. ha ha.

[ericlee]

as for ericlee, I think everything will be okay. but I also think you should've called and told her that you were going to the open mic. and then pretended to lose reception so she couldn't yell at you. or you could have texted it to her. ha ha.

See, that's the thing. When she's pissed at me, she won't pick up the phone. It's kind of upsetting. My first night playing out and she wasn't there over some stupid shit. I had a good time, the audience loved it.

I mean, here it is, 3 days later and she's still ignoring me, I try to hug her only to get pushed away and told to leave her alone.

I was also told that she didn't care about my open mic. She didn't ask me how it went or anything.

[skra75]

option a) Run
option b) Apologize and try something romantic and unplanned, spontaneous.

I vote option "A"

[hpdrifter]

Sounds like she needs to get some hobbies of her own. I don't understand why people do this. I like chilling at home with the bf but I also looooove going out with our friends. I've seen lots of couples just fade away when they get together and you don't see them again for years until they break up. I just don't get it. It would be so boring.

[Yeti]

I was also told that she didn't care about my open mic. She didn't ask me how it went or anything.

I am sorry to hear about your troubles. I am very surprised that she would not come to the venues and be your #1 fan.

[ericlee]

option a) Run
option b) Apologize and try something romantic and unplanned, spontaneous.

I vote option "A"

Running isn't an option. I'm too damn deeply in love with her and it would also be like running away from a best friend. She's been with me through so many good and bad times and also has traveled alot with me. She's done more things with me than any other lady.

[hpdrifter]

I don't think you need to run, but you definitely have to talk about this stuff.

Maybe create a compromise so you spend some nights in and some nights out. But time together is important. Especially since you have only recently changed to a work schedule where you see each other regularly.

Me and the bf used to get into these arguements too but he came a little my way, I went a little his way and we're both way happier now. It was worth it to us to save our relationship.

[skra75]

OK, then you should be firm with her. If she's playing stiff upper lip, you should play it right back, only let her know she needs to knock it off.

Explain that you care about her, but you could stand to have less drama and you'd appreciate it if she acted like a grown woman and talked to you about what was wrong instead of being passive agressive and stewing, which ultimately will make shit go sour.

Tell her you have a passion for music, and that when you go out it gives you inspiration and overall it's just something you enjoy.

Be sure that you are showing the same amount of spontaneity with a) your kid b) your ol lady. She definately needs a hobby.

I bet she's homesick and needs to be around things that are well, more asian, to feel more connected. She needs something that is "hers" and she's mad at you thatyou found something that is "yours".

Seriously, just say "I've had enough of this silent treatment, dammit, knock it off." If you are not firm with her, you will lose her respect. Don't be a dick, but don't be a wet paper bag either. Sounds like you're being a wet paper bag. You've got balls on this Internet Message Board: you may want to use them IRL. Once I started using my Internet Balls in real life it changed every aspect of my life.

[hpdrifter]

OK, then you should be firm with her. If she's playing stiff upper lip, you should play it right back, only let her know she needs to knock it off.

Explain that you care about her, but you could stand to have less drama and you'd appreciate it if she acted like a grown woman and talked to you about what was wrong instead of being passive agressive and stewing, which ultimately will make shit go sour.

Tell her you have a passion for music, and that when you go out it gives you inspiration and overall it's just something you enjoy.

Be sure that you are showing the same amount of spontaneity with a) your kid b) your ol lady. She definately needs a hobby.

I bet she's homesick and needs to be around things that are well, more asian, to feel more connected. She needs something that is "hers" and she's mad at you thatyou found something that is "yours".


*steals skra's sips coffee, gets back to work thing*
Seriously, just say "I've had enough of this silent treatment, dammit, knock it off." If you are not firm with her, you will lose her respect. Don't be a dick, but don't be a wet paper bag either. Sounds like you're being a wet paper bag. You've got balls on this Internet Message Board: you may want to use them IRL. Once I started using my Internet Balls in real life it changed every aspect of my life.

I agree thoroughly. She's behaving like a child with the pouting and the emotional blackmail. Don't pander to it. But also let her feel like her feelings are important to you.

She doesn't have anything in her life other than you that gives her joy and stimulation and she's jealous that you do. She feels threatened by it like its going to take you away from her. Help her find something of her own she can identify with the way you identify with music.

[ericlee]

Situation is under control. Skra, I do have balls IRL. I've made her cry once cause I've blown up on her and I felt real guilty about it. I'm learning to not be so harsh and I suppose she's taking advantage of it.

I just had to let her cool down cause she sure can hold one hell of a grudge. I told her that honestly, I have more fun when I go out with her and I really do but, when I want to go and she pusses out then, it shouldn't stop me. I'm not trying to go out and get laid like she thinks I am. I'm just trying to make some friends and also trying to promote my music. I live in NY and I'm taking full advantage of it.

I guess she was mad cause on Saturday, she wanted me to go out with her mom and her two friends but, she didn't call me or anything and I let her know that it's pretty much her fault for not calling me cause I'm not a damn mind reader.

She's also feeling guilty for not answering her phone when I tried to call her about my open mic. She will be going to see me for now on.

[Waus]

Yay for happy endings!

Awesome that you worked things out.