View Full Version : America!
Yetra Flam
10-10-2007, 10:09 PM
Oh yes, i will be living in your fine fine country in a bit over a month's time. While I am looking forward to the great new opportunities presented to me, meeting new people and finally doing something with my life, i am most excited about experiencing all that is stereotypically american.
I'm talking about Jesus, Nascar, Big Hair, Big Boobs, Firearms, Muscle Cars, and a whole bunch of other stuff.
Add American stuff for me to embrace!
p.s. this is not sarcasm or irony or anything, i am genuinely happy and excited about this.
tracky
10-10-2007, 10:13 PM
turd and zorra sitting in a tree
Knuckles
10-10-2007, 10:15 PM
I think you need to go to a state fair. Eat corn dogs, throw them up after going on "The Zipper" (http://www.ride-extravaganza.com/rides/zipper/zipper_11.jpg) and finish it off with a Styx concert.
Yetra Flam
10-10-2007, 10:18 PM
state fairs! hell yeah!.
Line dancing!
you need to eat fried foods that god had never intended for man to fry. twinkies, oreos, mars bars
hey, maybe you can even find some at the fair if you don't want to do it at home!
what part of america will you be living in? (round these parts we dont care much if we end our sentences with y'alls pre-po-sitions)
ScarySquirrel
10-10-2007, 10:54 PM
If I remember correctly, you'll be in New Jersey.
I think they have White Castle out there... and that's definitely worth the trip to America by itself.
Yetra Flam
10-10-2007, 10:55 PM
well for starters i'll be staying with my aunt in brooklyn. but i'll probably eventually move to be around the jersey city area near my family. apparently the cost of living in new york is too much.
but i want to experience middle america!
Documad
10-10-2007, 11:13 PM
Yay, I just knew you would come home eventually! You're going to love it here. I've got to believe it will be easier for you to get a good job.
You are going to have to let me buy you a nice dinner sometime when I visit NYC. :)
Yetra Flam
10-10-2007, 11:14 PM
absolutely! but it has to be AMERICAN FOOD!
ScarySquirrel
10-10-2007, 11:23 PM
Cheeseburgers it is.
Documad
10-10-2007, 11:27 PM
OMG -- You're coming in time for Thanksgiving!!!
I suppose you're going to skip the turkey full of sausage stuffing though. :(
Yetra Flam
10-10-2007, 11:28 PM
yeah man, i might have to quit my vegetarian ways if i'm going to experience the great foods of america.
YoungRemy
10-10-2007, 11:29 PM
once you live in brooklyn and experience all the city has to offer, I'm pretty sure middle america will be the last place you would want to be, but if you have that urge, jersey will satiate your needs..
dont forget to go to many shopping malls and movie theaters, take in all that the local teenagers take for granted... go to a high school or college football game and maybe even make out with someone under the bleachers
Documad
10-10-2007, 11:29 PM
I know that I'm not the only one thinking of Neil Diamond (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2Ceq8wmxlg) right now.
Yetra Flam
10-10-2007, 11:31 PM
once you live in brooklyn and experience all the city has to offer, I'm pretty sure middle america will be the last place you would want to be, but if you have that urge, jersey will satiate your needs..
dont forget to go to many shopping malls and movie theaters, take in all that the local teenagers take for granted... go to a high school or college football game and maybe even make out with someone under the bleachers
yeah man, i'd really love to see a baseball game or something.
where i live now, (where i've lived since forever) is such an incredibly inactive dump of a country town that pretty much anything is going to impress me.
paul jones
10-10-2007, 11:58 PM
well for starters i'll be staying with my aunt in brooklyn. but i'll probably eventually move to be around the jersey city area near my family. apparently the cost of living in new york is too much.
but i want to experience middle america!
I know some people in Jersey and Brooklyn and the bronx
jennyb
10-11-2007, 12:38 AM
...and finish it off with a Styx concert.
Styx! <3 :o
Ok, I've been outta the loop for a bit, is Yetra someone that rhymes with Yorra? Hmmmmm? I just had to go to Bosnia for work and returned home happily. Boy this country sure gots its issues, but it's home sweet home to me and I'z glad to get back. I listened to classic rock for a whole day upon my return and had a burger for dinner with a budweiser. Ahhhh.... bliss.
Hey Susan, why didn't you let me tell the people this? Or have I lost my job?
travel to wisconsin and see summerfest
ericlee
10-11-2007, 01:12 AM
You can go to Time's Square on New Years to watch the ball drop or...
You can go to my hometown in Ohio to watch The Walleye Drop (http://www.walleyemadness.com/). Yes, it's true...They drop a 600lb fish at the stroke of midnight on New Years.:o
Loppfessor
10-11-2007, 01:56 AM
i am most excited about experiencing all that is stereotypically american.
I'm talking about Jesus, Nascar, Big Hair, Big Boobs, Firearms, Muscle Cars, and a whole bunch of other stuff.
Add American stuff for me to embrace!
.
U-S-A!! U-S-A!!.....But seriously all of that shit is like redneck stuff and hopefully people in other lands don't think that is all that America is about <shudder>
get/sick injured and refuse to see a doctor because you can't afford to pay for it
AceFace
10-11-2007, 09:28 AM
after all the things you listed i TOTALLY thought you were moving down south here with me. you're welcome to get a taste of small town VA and come stay with me for a weekend! we'll do it up right.
oh oh! and i ALWAYS eat Tofurky for thanksgiving! it's pretty awesome. not a complete substitute for turkey and stuffing, but close enough for me to stay veggie!
beastieangel01
10-11-2007, 09:30 AM
how exciting! how easy was it for you to arrange this move? I'm happy to hear you have family, that is going to help out a lot.
Have a blast, share stories, etc. :)
after all the things you listed i TOTALLY thought you were moving down south here with me. you're welcome to get a taste of small town VA and come stay with me for a weekend! we'll do it up right.
oh oh! and i ALWAYS eat Tofurky for thanksgiving! it's pretty awesome. not a complete substitute for turkey and stuffing, but close enough for me to stay veggie!
tofurky is severely unamerican zorra, don't listen to her
Oh yes, i will be living in your fine fine country in a bit over a month's time. While I am looking forward to the great new opportunities presented to me, meeting new people and finally doing something with my life, i am most excited about experiencing all that is stereotypically american.
I'm talking about Jesus, Nascar, Big Hair, Big Boobs, Firearms, Muscle Cars, and a whole bunch of other stuff.
Add American stuff for me to embrace!
p.s. this is not sarcasm or irony or anything, i am genuinely happy and excited about this.
You sound like the female version of Crocodile Dundee. Everybody knows Jesus is Mexican.
AceFace
10-11-2007, 09:57 AM
tofurky is severely unamerican zorra, don't listen to her
LISTEN TO ME! i do have a good recipe to make tofurky fantastic. my meat eating granddaddy ate it UP last year!
LISTEN TO ME! i do have a good recipe to make tofurky fantastic. my meat eating granddaddy ate it UP last year!
do you watch arena football on thanksgiving day too? i won't have it!
venusvenus123
10-11-2007, 10:23 AM
tofurky sounds remarkably like tofucky. haha.
how exciting yetra! i wish i was in america because i'd like to drink a cosmopolitan with you in this really cool bar i know in the east village.
I gave up smoking cold tofurkey.
I gave up smoking cold tofurkey.
it just doesn't have the same ring to it
I was in West Palm Beach Florida last year during Thanksgiving. I was working as a freelance photog and was sent to a PETA rally. The PETA lady was in a bikini handing out Tofurkey.
Yes it is in the shape of a turkey.
My wife eats tofu and hummus almost everyday for her lunch.
hpdrifter
10-11-2007, 10:39 AM
That's great news! I think you'll find a lot more people like you than you may have found in Tazmania. I think this is a great opportunity to spread your wings and really see what life has to offer. My sister lives in NYC now. I would love to meet you when I come to visit her.
Trust us when we say you are not missing much in terms of middle america. Go visit Sarky and BG101 in Chicago, they'll take you out of the city and I'm sure you'll come back never the same again.
Or come out to the West Coast, you would love Seattle. I would love to host a visit and show you all of the wonderful quirky things about my happy little berg.
Tofurkey does not have fake drumsticks. It is just a loaf.
I think it is spelled tofurky without the e.
cosmo105
10-11-2007, 10:48 AM
tofurky's not in the shape of a turkey. it's kind of an oblong spherical shape. i like it. it's pretty tasty. but i don't know if i'll make one this year...there's so much other food going on, i don't really need it. but it's fun, and everybody else usually asks for a bite out of curiosity, and then they're often pleasantly surprised and ask for more.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/nyxie/453021931/
AceFace
10-11-2007, 11:10 AM
that is one tasty looking tofurky!
("i gave up smoking cold tofurky" was fucking genius, Yeti)
HOW CAN YOU HAVE ANY TOFURKY
IF YOU DONT EAT YOUR PUDDING
Don't forget about the all american foot long tofurky hot dog.
http://www.tofurky.com/products/franks.htm
cosmo105
10-11-2007, 11:36 AM
those are decent, about like any other soy dog. i really love the deli slices, especially the hickory smoked, in sandwiches. the sausages are good but the italian one gave my tummy a run for its money :(
This tofurky site is hilarious.
Check out the tofurky family album. This guy is holding up his box of tofurky like it is the Wimbledon trophy.
http://www.tofurky.com/funstuff/famalbum.htm
NoFenders
10-11-2007, 11:44 AM
I think you need to go to a state fair. Eat corn dogs, throw them up after going on "The Zipper" (http://www.ride-extravaganza.com/rides/zipper/zipper_11.jpg) and finish it off with a Styx concert.
YES!!!!! The Zipper!!!!! My all time fav carny ride. Whenever I see one, no matter what I'm doing, I stop, park, by a ticket, and ride it. I'm getting a little heavy for the guy to spin me though. The last time there was a skinny kid there helping people on and off. I told him to spin me, and he almost died trying.
:cool:
Yetra Flam
10-11-2007, 08:49 PM
so tofurkey eh? duly noted.
so tofurkey eh? duly noted.
NO! weren't you listening to me?! next you're gonna buy a fucking prius
Yetra Flam
10-11-2007, 09:03 PM
NO! weren't you listening to me?! next you're gonna buy a fucking prius
:(
good point about the healthcare though. what do you do when you get sick? like really sick? do you have to take out a loan or something? i'm scared about that because i need medication.
you hope you have insurance
edit: to give you a serious answer though, i'm not completely sure. i've been blessed with good health so far, i don't really know what happens when you need treatment but can't pay. ba01 might know though, hopefully she'll stop by this thread and help out
Yetra Flam
10-11-2007, 09:07 PM
you hope you have insurance
hahahahaohhh :(
and i'm hoping my accent is going to make people like me. that's terrible isn't it? my mom told me to play it up as much as possible. i sound more english than australian, i need that extra bit of australian drawl.
Knuckles
10-11-2007, 09:30 PM
Or come out to the West Coast, you would love Seattle. I would love to host a visit and show you all of the wonderful quirky things about my happy little berg.
If that ever happens I'll meet you guys at Ivar's for some clams and chowder.(y)
Yetra Flam
10-11-2007, 09:31 PM
all i know about seattle is frasier and grunge music.
i'm really bad with these american stereotypes :(
Knuckles
10-11-2007, 09:35 PM
all i know about seattle is frasier and grunge music.
i'm really bad with these american stereotypes :(
Don't forget coffee, Microsoft, rain, and heroin. (y)
ScarySquirrel
10-11-2007, 09:38 PM
Frasier is in Seattle? I guess you learn something new everyday.
Yetra Flam
10-11-2007, 09:39 PM
yeah man, the space needle an all that
DandyFop
10-11-2007, 10:04 PM
If you don't saunter onto American soil wearing this shirt (http://www.larose.com/upimages/Awaking_Giant_Sweat.JPG) or something like it, they won't let you in.
Knuckles
10-11-2007, 10:08 PM
If you don't saunter onto American soil wearing this shirt (http://www.larose.com/upimages/Awaking_Giant_Sweat.JPG) or something like it, they won't let you in.
You should also cut the sleeves off that badboy.
Nothing says America like sleeveless shirts. (y)
Yetra Flam
10-11-2007, 10:12 PM
that's awesome.
i like the ones with the world trade centre in the background and the crying eagle.
DandyFop
10-11-2007, 10:18 PM
Oh yeah P.S. I know I'll be in NY for one reason or another over the next year and I'm having the biggest gayest BBMB meet up ever and you are all going to come!!!
DandyFop
10-11-2007, 10:47 PM
Double p.s. You must make sure to prepare yourself for American customs by watching as much as possible of America's Funniest Home Videos. Imitate the narrations and get used to laughing at people falling down a lot or dogs chasing their own tails. I know they don't have this in other countries, so I want you to be ready.
Documad
10-11-2007, 10:59 PM
Americans are going to love you. At least where I live, the people who sound British are quite exotic. Most Americans will think you're British.
You might want to look into the health care issue before deciding whether you want to settle in NY or NJ. The laws vary by state.
Your goal should be to get a full time job that has medical benefits.
Yetra Flam
10-11-2007, 11:01 PM
ok, so the kind of healthcare you get depends on your occupation?
jennyb
10-11-2007, 11:05 PM
Yeah you should be pretty popular with your accent alone! Oh and your cunning WIT. ;)
Yetra Flam
10-11-2007, 11:06 PM
yeah man, it's all about the wits
cosmo105
10-11-2007, 11:10 PM
ok, so the kind of healthcare you get depends on your occupation?
haaaahahahaha healthcare!
DandyFop
10-11-2007, 11:12 PM
all the funny things you do
America, America
this is you!
Yetra Flam
10-11-2007, 11:16 PM
all the funny things you do
America, America
this is you!
we actually have it too (australia, australia this is you)
babies vomiting and dads getting hit in the nuts mostly. there's like one guy doing ALL of the voices. yeah, that doesn't get old.
DandyFop
10-11-2007, 11:17 PM
holy shit they use the same song!?
...this is blasphemy
Yetra Flam
10-11-2007, 11:18 PM
australian idol as well
haaaahahahaha healthcare!
Our heathcare system is a bit crazy. I hope one day they make our school system like our healthcare and our healthcare like our schools. Then all the Moms will tell their little girls to marry a teacher. That would be a funny turn of events.
ericlee
10-11-2007, 11:25 PM
HOW CAN YOU HAVE ANY TOFURKY
IF YOU DONT EAT YOUR PUDDING
psst, it's vice versa... I think I'd rather have puddin than tofurky.
Tofurky on the other hand, does sound like a Cosby created word. "A rasssssatasssmmm tofurrrrrkkky glip glop gleeeeee"
Documad
10-11-2007, 11:26 PM
TV is virtually the same. Except that in Australia I think that Oprah was on in prime time. Or perhaps that was NZ. :confused:
Documad
10-11-2007, 11:27 PM
australian idol as well
and top model :p
Yetra Flam
10-11-2007, 11:27 PM
ellen is the new oprah
Documad
10-11-2007, 11:28 PM
Do you have Judge Judy? I worship her.
ericlee
10-11-2007, 11:31 PM
If you don't saunter onto American soil wearing this shirt (http://www.larose.com/upimages/Awaking_Giant_Sweat.JPG) or something like it, they won't let you in.
Nope. She needs a WOLF SHIRT (http://www.birkoph.com/Wolf_tshirt.htm).. Seriously, just read the comments from the satisfied customers..
Tom12 says...
My cawk grew 3 inches ever since i bought this bad ass shirt now my girl cant get enough of my 4 inch penis.
Dodgeboy says...
My last GF was stolen by a man who had a Wolf shirt for each day of the week.
Yetra Flam
10-11-2007, 11:31 PM
yeah judge judy. she is so mean! but they deserve it!
Yetra Flam
10-11-2007, 11:32 PM
Nope. She needs a WOLF SHIRT (http://www.birkoph.com/Wolf_tshirt.htm).. Seriously, just read the comments from the satisfied customers..
Tom12 says...
My cawk grew 3 inches ever since i bought this bad ass shirt now my girl cant get enough of my 4 inch penis.
Dodgeboy says...
My last GF was stolen by a man who had a Wolf shirt for each day of the week.
i'd actually prefer a shirt with some wild horses on it. white horses, shimmering in the moonlight, galloping over a creek or something.
happy birthday. (http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/41MK367CGWL._SS500_.jpg)
cosmo105
10-11-2007, 11:40 PM
sweet zombie jesus, LINK ME TO THAT TEE
Yetra Flam
10-11-2007, 11:42 PM
happy birthday. (http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/41MK367CGWL._SS500_.jpg)
ahh, a wild stallion in the sunset. so peaceful.
i'd like the be the person that paints those images.
http://www.amazon.com/Spirit-T-shirt-Cotton-Short-Sleeved/dp/B000FXUSPE
Just check out the shirts on the bottom. Pure class.
Yetra Flam
10-12-2007, 12:26 AM
these are really cool
I agree. I think I'm partial to this one. (http://www.mythicallyspeaking.com/Breakthrough%20Wolf%20-%201738.jpg)
Back to the subject, I think you'll like the NASCAR fans more than the sport itself. Yes, it's a sport. We have the best nachos too. Hands down. Now you can be an American pig like us! Welcome to hell!
HEIRESS
10-12-2007, 12:32 AM
Ok I totally have a shirt like that except its turquoise and it has a cougar cub walking through the early morning forest mists.
Yetra Flam
10-12-2007, 12:33 AM
hahaha pictures please!
HEIRESS
10-12-2007, 12:40 AM
I swear its posted in this thread somewhere...
YES I FOUND IT
http://www.beastieboys.com/bbs/showpost.php?p=823649&postcount=135
Yetra Flam
10-12-2007, 12:41 AM
hell yeah!
ericlee
10-12-2007, 01:05 AM
http://www.amazon.com/Spirit-T-shirt-Cotton-Short-Sleeved/dp/B000FXUSPE
Just check out the shirts on the bottom. Pure class.
Those shirts could commonly be seen on fat broads in trucker stops wearing sweat pants with chili stains all over them. Hell yeah.
Lyman Zerga
10-12-2007, 04:21 AM
Those shirts could commonly be seen on fat broads in trucker stops wearing sweat pants with chili stains all over them. Hell yeah.
or this natural and animal loving hippy wanks who have zero fashion sense nor care about how they look like or motorbiker wifes
tracky
10-12-2007, 05:20 AM
This is seriously going to be huge for you yatra flem, I can't believe you're doing this! But it's also really awesome (y) How long are you planning on staying or is that all undecided? I can't even contemplate how much your mind is going to be blown going from little old tassy to New York! I don't think I'd be able to handle it myself.
Why do the guys over there like aussie girls so much?
mikizee
10-12-2007, 06:14 AM
Same reason the american girls love aussie dudes.
Actually I don't know what the reason is.
My mate flew over to the US for spring break, hung out on the beach all day and drank, and all of a sudden as soon as other people found out he was australian he got invited to party after party and shagged tons of chicks.
I didn't believe him until I saw the photos and videos. He said people just flocked to him, even just to hear him talk. He said the chicks DUG it.
tracky
10-12-2007, 06:28 AM
struth mate
Loppfessor
10-12-2007, 06:34 AM
Make sure you eat chicken wings, watch football, and drink beer at your local sports pub
mikizee
10-12-2007, 06:35 AM
Make sure you eat chicken wings, watch football, and drink beer at your local sports pub
Since when did americans start calling their bars pubs as well? Or has this always been the case?
Loppfessor
10-12-2007, 07:03 AM
^ I started calling bars "pubs" when I lived in Germany.....sue me!
When I used to live in a section called Church Hill. The place I would go drink and eat was called Poe's Pub. I think most people still call them bars. I call it a pub if it is a Irish or English pub. Another old hangout was Penny Lane Pub.
mikizee
10-12-2007, 07:35 AM
^ I started calling bars "pubs" when I lived in Germany.....sue me!
Fine then, I'll see you in court :p
I'll have bob representing me, there's no way I can lose!
Loppfessor
10-12-2007, 07:49 AM
Court! Shit now I hafta get my court suit cleaned....last time I wore one of my Saturday night pimpin suits on accident and things did NOT go well
any chance that australian chicks dig american accents? cuz i haven't picked a vacation yet
mikizee
10-12-2007, 07:53 AM
Court! Shit now I hafta get my court suit cleaned....last time I wore one of my Saturday night pimpin suits on accident and things did NOT go well
Sounds like me, last time I was in court I thought for some reason wearing a tie shaped like a penis was a good idea
It definitely was not a good idea
mikizee
10-12-2007, 07:53 AM
any chance that australian chicks dig american accents? cuz i haven't picked a vacation yet
Dude, if you came over here I'd have you laid in 5 minutes.
With a girl!
mikizee
10-12-2007, 08:16 AM
alooominum
venusvenus123
10-12-2007, 10:09 AM
she's going to the dark side. :'(
venusvenus123
10-12-2007, 10:16 AM
yes, that really applies to the US of Assholes. :rolleyes:
venusvenus123
10-12-2007, 10:23 AM
it was pretty inspired eh?:cool:
hpdrifter
10-12-2007, 10:27 AM
Yeah, the accent will get you far. I'm not sure why we love it but we do. I confess I am a total sucker for it. Its so musical. I just want to listen to it forever. There was an Irish dude working in a bar around these parts and I ordered a Corona from him. He said they didn't have Corona but had Dos Equis. But he said it with his heavy Irish accent and I could not tell what he meant. Eventually we figured it out and I was totally in love.
Australian, Irish, English, Scottish, learn these and you will be popular wherever you go!
hpdrifter
10-12-2007, 10:30 AM
Don't forget coffee, Microsoft, rain, and heroin. (y)
Hipsters, hippies, aloofness, so many great things to make fun of.
jabumbo
10-12-2007, 10:43 AM
apple pie people, come on!
it was pretty inspired eh?:cool:
i guess, considering you're from the united kuntdom
hpdrifter
10-12-2007, 10:53 AM
Ha! And you even managed to squeeze in a swear word that is popular there but not here.
TurdBerglar
10-12-2007, 10:55 AM
everyone i know says cunt!
hpdrifter
10-12-2007, 11:07 AM
See, there you go, Yetra, there's a whole world of american regional idiosyncrasies to learn.
I think you should travel the country and write a book about your perspective. Your money's worth more than ours anyway.
:(
So is Canada's
:(:(
NoFenders
10-12-2007, 11:42 AM
Go fishing!! By a couch with food stamps!!
NoFenders
10-12-2007, 12:03 PM
Montreal is a blast!!! Canadians rock for one reason alone, Poutine!!!
:cool:
cosmo105
10-12-2007, 12:12 PM
quick knuckles, photoshop her head over crocodile dundee's body
cosmo105
10-12-2007, 12:16 PM
OMFG
http://www.amazon.com/Penguin-Family-T-shirt-Sleeved-Included/dp/B000F5EHDG/ref=pd_sim_a_shvl_img_14/102-0793256-7652126
lol at the dragon shirts
http://www.amazon.com/Valley-ADULTS-T-shirt-Cotton-Sleeve/dp/B000C7BQZY/ref=pd_sbs_a_2_img/104-6796242-6715946
My family has been a fan of T-shirts made by The Mountain for several years now. We love the fact that the shirt itself is usually mottled or tye dyed and not plain, the design is actually IN the shirt and not like a stiff decal, and the shirts are soft, comfortable and get softer with every wash. I have several mountain shirts that I've worn and washed/dried well over 100 times and they look great. I've bought 40+ mountain shirts and have never had one unravel at the seams or be defective. They are built to last.
As to this particular design-I bought this design for my husband and my 10 year old-yeah we're one of those wacky families that like to wear matching shirts:) The design is beautiful and LARGE-it does cover the entire front of the shirt. The mist shrouded scene is very cool and looks like something you'd see on a Fantasy book cover or film. A must for a dragon fan!
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