What's the deal with servers in Asian restaurants?

[abcdefz]

....I'm noticing more and more that servers in Asian restaurants deliver the food and then that's pretty much it. I eat at sushi places,
Chinese food, etc., and I'm guessing that about 60% of the time, servers don't check back to see how things are, to see if you want a
refill, etc. Sometimes I actually have to flag someone down so I get the bill, and some of those times it's not even my original server
who brings the bill.

I stiffed someone for the second time in my life a couple of weeks ago. The dude was talking to a co-worker instead of taking my
order, he didn't bring my soda (I snagged someone else, who did), and then I never saw him again, even when I asked for the check.
(The cashier wound up pulling up the order so I could pay.)

Now, obviously that's an extreme, pretty ridiculous situation. But -- the not checking back on you thing... is there some cultural thing
where they assume they're "bothering" your meal if they check back? I just... it just seems like I'm just noticing this. And it happens
whether I'm with other people or not, so I doubt it's my body odor.

I dunno. It's a pet peeve. You take an order, bring the food, check back at least once, bring the check without being chased down
for it. That's the bare minimum of service, I think.

[jabumbo]

i've noticed this myself on occasion. i don't really eat out persay at asian cuisine, since usually its fast food variety, but yes. the last time i was out at one, i do remember not really seeing my server after they took my order. it was odd becuase someone else brought out my food, someone different from that refilled my beverage, and a third person brought me my check. so take those 3, and add it to the person who took my order and the person who sat me at my table, i had 5 different people on the wait staff deal with me.

so while the service wasn't really bad so to speak, it was just sort of strange they needed to have so many people fluttering about.

[beastiegirrl101]

...I dunno. It's a pet peeve. You take an order, bring the food, check back at least once, bring the check without being chased down for it. That's the bare minimum of service, I think.

being in the restaurant industry for many years there is like standard code you are supposed to follow ...technically after the food has been dropped you are supposed to come back a minute 1/2 to check on things, see if they need anything...and at least 3 more times before the meal is over...making sure you touch the table and all that. There were SO MANY little things that the server had to do to "suggest" upselling...so discret it was really facinating.

Now the company I worked for was pretty high end so I dont know if all small biz's follow this...but there is some standard that everyone expects while eating out. I've found that working in that industry was somewhat of a curse, everytime I go out to eat I am checking things out...

[Schmeltz]

Totally a cultural thing, but not in the way you think (edit: bg101 ^touched on it a bit). Asian restaurants in North America tend to be family-run and/or owned places so they function in a somewhat more cooperative or collective manner in which the entire staff is kind of just doing what needs to be done in the order it presents itself. So if you're served by three or four different people it doesn't matter - why should it? Anyone who has time can write "No. 137 w/side fried rice" on a piece of paper and slide it into the kitchen, and anyone else who has time can pick up the plate and carry it twenty feet to your table.

This approach, however, is rather at odds with the nuances of the Western casual dining tradition; and specifically it's at odds with the fawning, obsequious sycophantism that the North American diner expects from a server. Servers are the least necessary component of the restaurant experience: the only reason they are there is because middle-class North American diners love the feeling of superiority they get from ordering them around. They love the idea that if anything about their situation isn't exactly perfect they can make somebody else fix it for them. They love the idea that this person is beholden to their appetites and satisfaction. They love the dangling carrot of a 10% tip and the power it gives them over the total stranger who is meant to minister to their conspicuous consumption.

The hospitality industry in Western culture is founded on and functions in a context of power relationships defined by capital. Anyone with two hands can pour a beer or carry a tray of food, but not everyone can be a successful server because not everyone understands the need to prostrate themselves before the altar of gluttony in order to secure that little extra gratuity. People from a different cultural background may be able to provide the same basic service, but without an understanding of what North American diners are really after they will provide a different kind of experience.

Can you tell I've been in restaurants too long?

[abcdefz]

That's more like how I was, except I'd kind of read the temperature of the table. Some folks want more attention than others.

One small thing that seemed to impress people was to swap out their refills as the glasses emptied. Don't let them go dry, and also don't
take the glass away for a refill, leaving them without a drink for a bit. That seemed to surprise and please people, but I would think it
would be standard.

I think some servers make the mistake of thinking guests want to be entertained. Maybe some do, but it bugs the hell out of me when
a server isn't taking our order or getting the food to the stable or something because he's so "on," like the Jim Carrey of waiters
or something. Please -- take the order, be friendly, but shut the fuck up unless we ask.

[abcdefz]

Totally a cultural thing, but not in the way you think (edit: bg101 ^touched on it a bit). Asian restaurants in North America tend to be family-run and/or owned places so they function in a somewhat more cooperative or collective manner in which the entire staff is kind of just doing what needs to be done in the order it presents itself. So if you're served by three or four different people it doesn't matter - why should it? Anyone who has time can write "No. 137 w/side fried rice" on a piece of paper and slide it into the kitchen, and anyone else who has time can pick up the plate and carry it twenty feet to your table.



I totally get that and agree -- I just want to be served. It's when the customer has to flag people down and basically isn't being attended
that I have the problem.

I don't want to be fawned over (see above), but I don't think it's the customer's job to get the servers to do their job. This meal in
question where I stiffed the waiter -- ? I actually wanted more food. I wasn't done. But he never checked, and by the time I got
someone else's attention, I just thought "fuck this."

[MC Moot]

well then,tip accordingly you round eyed swine......:D

[DandyFop]

I have had similar experiences to this.

There is this one place that has this amazing vegetarian chicken that I crave.
But the service is HORRIBLE. The server slopped water all over the table,
someone actually vacuumed under our table while we were eating once.
That was probably the worst thing.

I think though that since it appears it's all family run, that the servers don't
depend that much on tips since whatever the restaurant makes just goes
to the family anyway. If they were dependent on tips like in most restaurants
there would be a totally different vibe.

[abcdefz]

I tip well if the service is even mediocre. It doesn't take an awful lot to get 30% from me.

Yesterday I asked the server to re-seat me by one of the windows because I was reading the paper and the first table he put me in wasn't
well lit. The guy did it without complaint, and he got 50%. Fair's fair.

[MC Moot]

I tip well if the service is even mediocre. It doesn't take an awful lot to get 30% from me.

Yesterday I asked the server to re-seat me by one of the windows because I was reading the paper and the first table he put me in wasn't
well lit. The guy did it without complaint, and he got 50%. Fair's fair.

Oh sure,scratch my back and I'll be the first to rub yours,but shit service begets shit remuneration...I refuse to tip on some societal standard....call me Mr Pink but I'll leave pennies if you rub me wrong.....

[Schmeltz]

I think though that since it appears it's all family run, that the servers don't depend that much on tips since whatever the restaurant makes just goes to the family anyway. If they were dependent on tips like in most restaurants there would be a totally different vibe.

Bingo.

Hey I notice you guys are breaking up your posts so they don't run over the borders of the page.
That's a good idea.

[TurdBerglar]

the last time i went to dinner with my grandmother the waitress kept calling me miss and referring to us as "you gals". do i look like a chick? my grandmother got pissed and caused a bit of a scene. it was embarrassing and hysterical and confusing at the same time. the restaurant was dark and my hair was kinda long at the time but what the fuck?

[DandyFop]

Did you and your grandma and the waitress all have make-up sex afterwards?

[TurdBerglar]

i don't think that waitress was into chicks

[abcdefz]

Hey I notice you guys are breaking up your posts so they don't run over the borders of the page.
That's a good idea.




Ye
p. (y)

[DandyFop]

i don't think that waitress was into chicks

Oh so just you and your grandma then.

Was it embarrassing and hysterical and confusing at the same time?

[TurdBerglar]

Oh so just you and your grandma then.

Was it embarrassing and hysterical and confusing at the same time?


you've out-grossed me...

[Schmeltz]

Never go back into the kitchen. It's annoying and it's dangerous. This drunk customer did that once in a kitchen where I was working,
I pointed at him with the 18-inch pizza shank and said "Get the fuck out of here right now." It was awesome.

[DandyFop]

btw I got the shortening posts idea from a-z!

[TurdBerglar]

or you could just increase your resolution

[DandyFop]

Doesn't work. My laptop is too small.

[abcdefz]

btw I got the shortening posts idea from a-z!



I'm good for something! (y)

[venusvenus123]

Bingo.

Hey I notice you guys are breaking up your posts so they don't run over the borders of the page.
That's a good idea.

i must have a very wide screen as i have a good inch of black either side of the board. :p

this thread reminds me of why american waiters can demand a 20% tip. over here, they seem to
think they've earned a 12.5% tip when all they've really done is bring you your food. :confused:

[abcdefz]

...what I also love are tip jars.

It's like: I go to the register, I pay before my meal comes, I come up and get it when my number's called, bus my own table when I'm done.... and
I'm tipping you for... what? :confused:

[MC Moot]

the most important dialogue on the subject eva....:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enJwYaeolXc&mode=related&search=

[abcdefz]

This would be a good debate topic, actually. If someone were making that argument with me, I'm not sure I could refute it, just because we
believe two different things. I probably would avoid eating out with him, but...

I don't know. Isn't there a social contract? If someone is serving you in a restaurant (not from a counter), we know that the issue of a tip
is also on the table. I don't believe you have to tip NO MATTER WHAT, but it seems that, in this country anyway, it's an unspoken
agreement.

When I was a server, we had an old man who came in every day. Same meal, every day. Twenty-five cent tip, every time. The guy was
nice enough, but we'd rotate duties with this dude, because twenty-five cents for service is bullshit. If you can't afford a proper tip,
get it to go.

[MC Moot]

When I was a server, we had an old man who came in every day. Same meal, every day. Twenty-five cent tip, every time. The guy was nice enough, but we'd rotate duties with this dude, because twenty-five cents for service is bullshit. If you can't afford a proper tip, get it to go.


I disagree completley...from my perspective,perhaps, old man = social security = fixed income....he should get free re-fills and a complimentary piece of pie,maybe that's the best shot he has at socialization outside of his 1room flop house,a chance for something else besides a government grilled cheese sandwhich from his hotplate,while perusing ear worn pictures of family he's long since lost......:(.....sure,flair for the dramatics but picture that.....

[abcdefz]

That's why God invented senior centers. And I'm not being heartless saying that. I just think that a proper tip is part of the deal, and if you
can't afford it, you can't afford to dine out.

[jabumbo]

that's why i like the places where you order at the front, go sit down and then they bring you the food when its ready. no tip is really required, but if they are nice enough and reasonably prompt with the order, i'll toss a buck or two extra on the table.



i certainly don't shy away from not leaving much of a tip if i think the service was poor. usually when paying with my debit card, i round up to the next full bill and add an apropriate dollar amount. one time i recall leaving something like a $1.40 tip while my friend with a similarly sized bill left like $4. i didnt really care, as the server did nothing really to warrant anything more than i gave.

[MC Moot]

That's why God invented senior centers. And I'm not being heartless saying that. I just think that a proper tip is part of the deal, and if you
can't afford it, you can't afford to dine out.

I'd like to believe that you don't believe in that at all....bourgoise bullshit...(n)

[abcdefz]

I'd like to believe that you don't believe in that at all....bourgoise bullshit...(n)

:rolleyes:



Uh, it's called "civility."

[MC Moot]

:rolleyes:



Uh, it's called "civility."

A trait best exhibited to your elders....:mad:

[abcdefz]

Well, like I said: we took turns. We didn't refuse him service.

[roosta]

you know what's odd....in chinese restaurants when they bring you rice, and they serve up one spoon full of it on to your plate then leave the rest to you...it's like they're showing you how to use a spoon...

[MC Moot]

Well, like I said: we took turns. We didn't refuse him service.

ohhhh,how noble of you!...he climbed Iwo Jima,he stormed Normandy and you worked it out so that lest your bottom line as a goddamn SERVICE industry worker be affected.....:D;)

[abcdefz]

You automatically sentimentalize the situation, eh? How insightful.

The thing is: someone who does that is basically taking money out of a server's pocket. You get so many tables for so many hours, and if
someone comes in and plugs that spot and basically stiffs you, that's a loss.

For instance -- a person coming in sitting alone at a two-top is already halving the potential income from that table. (Let alone a single
person who insists on a four-top.) Think about that. You're still going to spending the same amount of time serving that table. So that
person stiffs you, they've essentially pulled maybe four to ten dollars from your hour's wage. That can add up.

[Schmeltz]

Not to mention that servers typically have to tip out a percentage of their sales to the kitchen staff, even if their slavering gluttonous pig-dog customers don't leave them anything extra. It can actually cost servers money to come to work sometimes.

You could look at that as incentive to do a better job, I call it just another form of exploitation in a bottom-rank, dead-end industry.

[MC Moot]

You automatically sentimentalize the situation, eh? How insightful.

The thing is: someone who does that is basically taking money out of a server's pocket. You get so many tables for so many hours, and if
someone comes in and plugs that spot and basically stiffs you, that's a loss.

For instance -- a person coming in sitting alone at a two-top is already halving the potential income from that table. (Let alone a single
person who insists on a four-top.) Think about that. You're still going to spending the same amount of time serving that table. So that
person stiffs you, they've essentially pulled maybe four to ten dollars from your hour's wage. That can add up.

Ah hah!....and how insightful of you to try and relate your position by tagging an "eh?" onto the end of it!....very sly....but seriously I do understand the tables per hour/per customer/ per shift equasion...my thing being that when working and being forced to earn by other means than my desired outlet,I alway's choose gigs that paid substantially beyond a minimum hourly wage....if it meant banging nails or digging ditches or shoveling out fish totes,i'd take that as opposed to being at the whim of someones grace,beyond the face value of said service....which on principal I would never except as it's your employer declaring "this is the very least that the law requires me to redress you with" good luck with the rest.....furthermore when I'm out with a group of males and they tip based on the servers appearance,I pretty much lose my mind.....

[b-grrrlie]

It's a good thing waiters/waitresses here ain't depending on tips. They all get the same salary anyway.
I give tips if the serving has been godd and prompt, usually around 10% and that's quite enough here...
But if I'm with a huge gang and everybody wants to pay their own share (which is quite typical here)
I usually add a bit more (and so does usually most of my friends as well) to compensate the trouble.




And I had noticed a-z doing the line-cut ups as well earlier and I thank him for that.

[insertnamehere]

One of my jobs I'm a cashier at the kind of place where you place the order with me, I give you a number, and then someone
(whomever is available when the food is ready, be it me, a kitchen staffer, or a manager) runs it out to the table. Customers are expected to bus their own tables.
It infuriates me when people leave a huge fucking mess all over the table. It's one thing if they leave a huge fucking mess and leave a dollar, then I think they're
just confused as to what kind of a place it is, but when they don't leave anything at all, and they leave the biggest messes. Sometimes I want to be like "hey,
trashcan's by the door on your way out, thanks" but I have to go clean up after them. But I expect no tip at all from that job. Some people ask why we don't have a
tip cup, but like A-Z said, I don't think we really do anything that deserves a tip.

On the "don't go out to eat if you can't afford a tip" note, seriously, never EVER order delivery if you can't afford a tip. Luckily for me I work at a place that pays
us pretty well, $6.50/hr, considering they could pay us much less on account of our tips, but not everyone is in that situation. When you figure in the gas money and
general wear and tear on the car, we NEED our tips. GAS COSTS A LOT and you have to get a lot of it when your job is to drive around.

Then there's the walking distance people. This place where I'm a driver is right across the street from my college campus. A lot of people will order from buildings on
campus to which you can't drive, that are like, a 5 min walk, so I'll run the food over, and they don't tip. Maybe they're thinking "oh she didn't really have to go
anywhere so I don't have to tip," but if it's too fucking far for you to walk, at least give me
a dollar for the trouble. I probably missed a more lucrative delivery on account of you didn't feel like walking downstairs.

Then there's the huge order people. Maybe they think there's some kind of gratuity included? I don't know. I took a little over $80 of food to this one place where
they were going to have some kind of meeting once. I carried everything to the meeting room myself (multiple trips) and set it up for them, and got no tip.

Today I took an order that was over $100 and the lady gave me 5 bucks. I was hoping for $10. Oh well.


/rant

I tried to do the break-y up thing for you guys but I can see the board fine so I don't know where the problem is exactly.

[DroppinScience]

While on the topic of servers and tipping, one thing I'm not a big fan is when restaurants reserve the right to automatically add 15% (in "gratuities") to tables with groups of 8 or more. Granted, they're serving a large group, but that leaves you under the risk that the servers will treat you whichever way they please and you're forced to tip them a certain amount no matter what (i.e. whether it's shitty or first-class service, they're getting the same tip).

[mikizee]

Tipping in Australia pretty much does not exist. Waiters and waitresses typically are paid a decent award rate, between $18-$23 an hour. ($16.10- $20.60 USD).

However I will give them a tip if they have gone above their normal call of duty to make our night a better one for some reason.

But pretty much the sentiment here is - you are a waiter, you get paid to a be a waiter, so why should I give you more money, its not like you are working for free. In my job which isnt really customer service based I dont get a tip if I repair a slot machine quicker. I already get paid for what I do.

Taxi drivers don't get tips. However I usually round up to the nearest dollar so the driver doesn't have to fiddle around getting 15c change for me.

I used to work in a 5 star hotel bar on the beach, which was frequented by lots of American tourists. It suited me fine because I don't think anyone had told the Americans that they don't have to tip, so I always get decent tips. One of Pearl Jam's bodyguards sat at the end of the bar one night when they were touring and gave me a $20-$40 tip every drink he ordered. Fuck yeah!



Oh yeah. I've got a 22 inch widescreen monitor now, I reckon I've got 3 inches of black either side of the board, no more scrolling for me!(y)

[DandyFop]

Yeah what if the old dude was some sociopath rapist murderer that had no more money for a tip because it was all used for large freezers to keep the dead bodies around in case he felt like having a go on them? HUH? WHAT DO YOU SAY ABOUT THAT???

Meaning: Just because they're old doesn't mean you have to kiss their ass. Respect I believe in, being a cheapskate I don't.

[Gareth]

the chinese in china do not care for customer service, as far as i can tell.

[abcdefz]

So I went to this sushi place Sunday.

The last time I was there, I ordered one of the fried rolls and it came to the table cold and kind of soggy. On the way out, I asked the hostess
if sometimes orders were filled with items which were taken from the sushi boats at the bar, and she said yes. (Ugh.) I asked if I could request
that a roll be made fresh for me when I ordered it, and she said yes.

Cut to Sunday.

I was the first person seated in the restaurant. After ten minutes without being waited upon, I asked the hostess if someone could take my
order. She asked a waitress to come over. Waitress didn't; she was talking to another waitress. Hostess realizes I'm still waiting and calls
for the waitress again.

So the waitress finally comes over and I give her my order. I ask her to request that my rolls be made fresh for me, and she insists they
always are. I explain to her that last time, the roll was taken from one of the sushi boats, and that the hostess had said I could ask for
freshly-made rolls instead so that what was supposed to be served hot would be. I'm more than politely saying this, mind you. Waitress
doesn't acknowledge my request and leaves the table. Hmm.

A little while later, she brings the order, setting it down without a word. I check the roll. Sure enough -- cold and soggy. I look around; waitress has disappeared.

I flagged down a different server and asked if he could help, and as I explained the situation -- calmly, politely -- he gets the waitress'
attention and she comes to the table and starts to argue with me about this.

At this point, the hostess has come over and is telling me they'll make it right, but now I'm mad. Still calm and polite, but I'm pissed.
So I told them I would eat somewhere else, got up, and left.

I've never, ever walked out on a meal before, but there you have it. Man, I was pissed. I probably should've paid for the soda, since I'd
had a couple of sips, but... I was just pissed.