if you get bullied via the internet you deserve it for being a retard

[Jim wont fix it]

anyone else noticed these adverts about kids bullying each other on the internet? heres a tip retard, block the morons

I dont know who's more stupid the kids who cry over verbal abuse on MSN or the people who paid to put banners all over my yahoo account promoting the issue.

[Waus]

You tell em' Jim.

[cookiepuss]

I haven't seen the banner ads about it on t6he net...but I made a thread a while ago about the TV commercials for stopping online bullying.


yeah I think they are dumb.

[Jim wont fix it]

You tell em' Jim.
JIMMEH!

[TAL]

That 60s song "Wooly Bully" is about a mean sheep.

[TurdBerglar]

don't get me started!


fucking pussy kids

[Loppfessor]

Stop bullying me.

Shut up and gimme your virtual lunch money!

[vickista]

we had a seminar on it for 2 periods.

it was so stupid. first off these are the kids that when u say hey spaz jokingly, they run off and cry. when u say they're fucking retards on msn instead of telling you that you're a piece of shit cunt who shld shut the fuck up, the go inside and cry and wonder why no one likes them.

it's because they have no freaking balls. and the sad thing is its some of the only attention they get from other kids so instead of taking two seconds to block them they make themselves feel like shit.

grow a back bone and fight back or take it like a man.

god damn pussy mother fuckers

[ms.peachy]

Well, I work with young people who have been very badly bullied (in myriad forms) and I think it is very sad that people feel a need to victimise them further by insinuating that they deserve this treatment - that is is acceptable for kids to torment another child, and the child who is being picked on is somehow the one to blame for, shock horror, having feelings, and for not being strong enough to cope with the abuse. Yes some people are strong enough to shrug it off an walk away or whatever, but some are not. The young people I work with often come from extremely dysfunctional backgrounds and have endured so much, why do they not deserve protection? Why is it OK to deride them?

vickista I am most surprised at your response in this thread, having told us what you have about the way you are treated by your sister, and your parents indifference to it. I guess you have learned to take it like a man, then?

[Loppfessor]

^ I dig where you are coming from but "shielding" kids from everything bad in the world isn't doing them a favor it's setting them up for failure later on in life. I'd be that actually confronting or standing up to a bulling, internet or other, serves as a defining moment a lot of people's lifes when they make a concious decision to not be pushed around. Again I think robbing them of that chance does more harm than good...how can these kids who are too "weak" to stand up for themselves ever be expected to become more assertive and confident if never given the chance?

[TurdBerglar]

every single person gets bullied or picked on. some people are just over sensitive. there's no reason to change the way shit goes for the very small handful of kids that are strongly affected. there's only a small amount of bullies and a small amount of cry babies. the rest are normal. i honestly feel if no one got picked on/bullied there would be a lot less motivation in society. the possibility of getting bullied or picked on keeps people in line from not being a shitty person. there are times when people get bullied or picked on for really horrible reasons but i think most of the time it's for good reasons. from what i can remember the large majority of kids that got picked on were the underacheivers or the kids that were just dirty and gross. take a fucking bath and put some effort into shit.

then there were the kids that just got treated horribly for no real good reason by other kids that just went to far. this i don't agree with. but it was always a small fraction on both sides. nothing can be 100% effective. life is tuff.

[ms.peachy]

from what i can remember the large majority of kids that got picked on were the underacheivers or the kids that were just dirty and gross. take a fucking bath and put some effort into shit.


I find this really sad. Even from you.

Lopp, I assure you, the kids I work with are hardly shielded from everything bad in the world. The bullying that they get on top of their already shitty lives is just the icing on the cake.

Let me give you an example:
One boy I worked with was from Kosovo. When he was four years old, soldiers broke into his house, shot his father, and raped his mother. In front of him. Eventually he and his mother were resettled here in England, when he was about eight. They live on benefits on a crappy housing estate. By the time he was twelve, he was most definitely what you might call an 'underachiever,' was failing in every subject. He didn't fit in with the other kids - he didn't like the music they liked, he didn't know how to dress in a popular style, and even if he had a clue, it's not like there was any money to buy nice clothes anyway. So he deserves to be bullied, I guess?

Here's another:
This one fourteen year old girl was basically raising herself. Her parents were addicts, so she lived with her grandparents. Her grandparents are quite old and frankly also kind of weird. They had no hot water in their house - they would heat it up on the stove as needed. No washing machine. The girl couldn't wash herself or her clothes as much as she would have liked. So yeah, she was a little smelly. So I guess she deserved to have rocks and bottles thrown at her, too.

[TurdBerglar]

well now you're going into left field and pulling out extreme situations.

90 percent of people that i've seen getting picked on deserve it. there's this guy at work that's a lazy useless drunk and smells like a 100 wet dogs dipped in booze and it looks like he's tanned but that's just all the fucking grime that's built up on him. fuck him. everyone has no respect for him and treats him accordingly. this guy is utterly useless and a fucking leech.

[ms.peachy]

It would just never occur to me that that would make it OK for me to bully/harass/abuse someone like that though. I'm not saying that I wouldn't have a small joke at his expense behind his back - I'm not an angel. But I would hope that I would have enough compassion to see that, however objectionable, this is a human being who doesn't deserve to be kicked when he's down.

[Loppfessor]

I think Turd is right bout you mentioning the extreme cases. Of course I wouldn't say they deserved it. But I think this whole internet bullying thing which this thread is about is your average American kid who for the most part is just being a pussy about it. It's not like the bully is even standing in front of them....it's words on a screen! Just hit "delete" or block them...

[TurdBerglar]

It would just never occur to me that that would make it OK for me to bully/harass/abuse someone like that though. I'm not saying that I wouldn't have a small joke at his expense behind his back - I'm not an angel. But I would hope that I would have enough compassion to see that, however objectionable, this is a human being who doesn't deserve to be kicked when he's down.

you let actual leeches feed on you? do you have compassion for them? just because someone is human doesn't mean they're special.

[TurdBerglar]

when someone is "down and out" and just a useless leech because of their own behavior it's up to them to fix it. why should that person get compassion then they caused all their misery themselves.

[ms.peachy]

when someone is "down and out" and just a useless leech because of their own behavior it's up to them to fix it. why should that person get compassion then they caused all their misery themselves.
I'm not saying you have to like them, have a conversation with them, invite them over for dinner, give them a backrub, anything like that. You can dislike someone and disapprove of their choices. Strongly, even. But I thought we were talking about bullying. I don't think anyone deserves to be bullied. That's all.

[ms.peachy]

I think Turd is right bout you mentioning the extreme cases. Of course I wouldn't say they deserved it. But I think this whole internet bullying thing which this thread is about is your average American kid who for the most part is just being a pussy about it. It's not like the bully is even standing in front of them....it's words on a screen! Just hit "delete" or block them...

I did use extreme cases, but only to drive home the point that you just never know why someone might become a target, what is going on behind the scenes. Yes, the kids I mentioned are at the far end of the spectrum. But do you think the kids that picked on them knew their back stories? Do you think it would have mattered to them? So OK let's say it's not OK to pick on these particular kids - is it OK to pick on the kid who maybe doesn't have a big tragedy in their past, but who's just a bit 'different', whose trousers are a bit too short in the leg, or who has frizzy hair, or who has an undiagnosed learning disability that makes him act out because he feels stupid?

Lopp, try for a minute to think back to what it is like to be a an older kid, a young teenager. Maybe you were supremely confident, and didn't care what others thought about you, and didn't spend much time feeling awkward and vulnerable. If that's the case, good for you, I wish I could say the same. I might have been able to put on a "yeah right, WHATever" facade - as only a teenage girl can do, but underneath, I was a seething mass of nerves. Is my hair right? Is this the way everyone is wearing their eyeliner today? If I admit I like that boy, will they laugh at me? How come I didn't get invited to Tara's party but Amy did? I know those are more 'girlie' concerns in their specifics, but I'm quite aware that boys have their own issues.

For someone our age, who didn't grow up as a youngster with the internet as a forum for socialising, it's easy to say 'just delete it.' But for todays kids, where the internet is as much an extension of their social lives as the mall or the ball field or the local hangout park or whatever, it matters to them. It matters what people are writing on their myspace, their habbo, whatever. It is as hurtful to them to get emails from classmates saying "everyone hates you, you know" as it is to be laughed at in the lunchroom. Cyber-bullying, or bullying by text messages, are the new playground bullying, and if you don't think they are just as crushing, you are mistaken.

[cookiepuss]

internet or physical bullying.... I guess they evoke the same emotions even though they happen in different forms....

unfortunatley though, I don't like the PSAs and Banner campaigns to stop online bullying. they come off as a joke and I think they make people who bully want to do it even more. I'm not sure how they could make them better, but I don't think they'll be effective in the long run.

[TurdBerglar]

I'm not saying you have to like them, have a conversation with them, invite them over for dinner, give them a backrub, anything like that. You can dislike someone and disapprove of their choices. Strongly, even. But I thought we were talking about bullying. I don't think anyone deserves to be bullied. That's all.

well it's not like i go out of my way to be an ass to him but if he tries to strike up an conversation with me im all like...dude... go away.

[insertnamehere]

i wouldn't say that people "deserve" to get picked on per se, but it happens. its natural for kids to pick on each other. its just the way the world works. kids picked on and bullied each other before the internet. i dont think internet bullying is any more a problem than schoolyard bullying. moreover, i don't think i campaign to stop internet bullying is in any way realistic. i got picked on plenty throughout childhood and adolescence. i used to get picked on so bad for my southern accent that i stopped speaking at school, and would come home and read words out of the dictionary looking at the pronunciation guide. i've lived in the same area my entire life, but now everyone tells me i sound like im from the midwest. in middle school there was a girl that always said i looked like a dog and would make very quiet woof noises whenever i came into the class room. these are just a couple examples, i could go on and on, but the point is that i'm no worse off for it.

i was never "internet bullied" as far as i can remember, and i've used the internet heavily since middle school (been a member on this board since 10th grade), but i cant imagine it would be any worse than any real life getting picked on.

[TurdBerglar]

it's unacceptable to get picked on for something as stupid as your accent. it's just the shit like that everyone notices. no one notices when someone is getting picked on for being a genuine shitbag because they all agree with the treatment. i feel people getting picked on for being genuine shitbags happens a whole lot more than getting picked on for useless shit. getting picked or even the possible threat of getting picked on for being a shitbag should be enough to stop you from being a shitbag. it ends up being beneficial for the shitbags or for normal people that might attempt shitbag behavior.

[Yetra Flam]

looking back, all the times i got bullied in school i was totally asking for it. just walking around, doing nothing, being me, i was such a worthless shithead! i should have been spat at and barked at even more! that would have made me into a much more resiliant person!

[TurdBerglar]

that was a shitbag thing to say

[Yetra Flam]

you should have called me a dyke and given me a dead arm. shithead.

[TurdBerglar]

shitbag

i just want to say shitbag again








shitbag

[russhie]

I wasn't bullied at school. I didn't bully people but I wasn't too friendly with kids who were bullied, beacuse that'd make me uncool by association. I don't feel bad about not speaking up, or doing something about it. You do what you can to get though school, I guess.

Internet bullying is pretty dorky, I would have thought.

[insertnamehere]

i wasnt trying to make an issue of whether or not my accent was a legitimate reason to get picked on, the fact is i was, and you know what? i dont really give a shit. i survived. worse things can happen to you than getting teased.

[TurdBerglar]

that's a good way to think.

well not for the shitbags


SHITBAGS!

[Loppfessor]

I did use extreme cases, but only to drive home the point that you just never know why someone might become a target, what is going on behind the scenes. Yes, the kids I mentioned are at the far end of the spectrum. But do you think the kids that picked on them knew their back stories? Do you think it would have mattered to them? So OK let's say it's not OK to pick on these particular kids - is it OK to pick on the kid who maybe doesn't have a big tragedy in their past, but who's just a bit 'different', whose trousers are a bit too short in the leg, or who has frizzy hair, or who has an undiagnosed learning disability that makes him act out because he feels stupid?

Lopp, try for a minute to think back to what it is like to be a an older kid, a young teenager. Maybe you were supremely confident, and didn't care what others thought about you, and didn't spend much time feeling awkward and vulnerable. If that's the case, good for you, I wish I could say the same. I might have been able to put on a "yeah right, WHATever" facade - as only a teenage girl can do, but underneath, I was a seething mass of nerves. Is my hair right? Is this the way everyone is wearing their eyeliner today? If I admit I like that boy, will they laugh at me? How come I didn't get invited to Tara's party but Amy did? I know those are more 'girlie' concerns in their specifics, but I'm quite aware that boys have their own issues.

For someone our age, who didn't grow up as a youngster with the internet as a forum for socialising, it's easy to say 'just delete it.' But for todays kids, where the internet is as much an extension of their social lives as the mall or the ball field or the local hangout park or whatever, it matters to them. It matters what people are writing on their myspace, their habbo, whatever. It is as hurtful to them to get emails from classmates saying "everyone hates you, you know" as it is to be laughed at in the lunchroom. Cyber-bullying, or bullying by text messages, are the new playground bullying, and if you don't think they are just as crushing, you are mistaken.


Dude....trust me I know all about bullying. Not only was I kind of a geek for most of my childhood, we were also poor, and moved a lot. So I know what it's like to be the new kid, an outsider, the only minority in an all white class, and all that. So trust me I experienced my share of bullying. But I can also recall the moments when I had enough and stood up for myself and knocked some fools out. Hell even the times I got my ass kicked I still got the respect that comes from standing up and letting people know that you're not going to take their shit.

That's the point I"m trying to make here. If I had someone to shield me from that then I wouldn't have gained that confidence and self respect that came from those experiences. Like it or not a lot of the bad shit we go through as kids helps make us stronger adults.

[Jim wont fix it]

my point was nothing to do with bullying itself, my point was that it is impossible to get bullied over the internet and the whole idea of it is fucking stupid. the internet is set up so you can block and ignore arseholes

does anyone seriously believe that it would be possible for someone to get bullied on a forum? (if your answer is yes then ur an idiot and I'm going to bully you)

[abcdefz]

does anyone seriously believe that it would be possible for someone to get bullied on a forum? (if your answer is yes then ur an idiot and I'm going to bully you)


I think it's possible, yes, because it's reportedly happened.

I can't fathom being bullied via a message board, but I remember someone supposedly claimed that they stopped posting here because
someone had asked them not to anymore, and I thought -- you know, that's bullshit. Someone "asked me to stop posting here" and that
intimidated you? I can maybe imagine it hurting your feelings, but if that was enough to make you cease and desist, man, that's awfully
weak of you.

[cookiepuss]

I think it's possible, yes, because it's reportedly happened.

I can't fathom being bullied via a message board, but I remember someone supposedly claimed that they stopped posting here because
someone had asked them not to anymore, and I thought -- you know, that's bullshit. Someone "asked me to stop posting here" and that
intimidated you? I can maybe imagine it hurting your feelings, but if that was enough to make you cease and desist, man, that's awfully
weak of you.

I think what draws the line in all this is the difference between adults on the internet and kids on the internet.

I can see a kid getting called names via the net and that having the same effect as if it were done on a playground. Most kids don't have a highly developed sense of self-esteem.

adults are a whole other matter...one would expect them to be able to detach from the cyber world and retain self confidence.

[ms.peachy]

does anyone seriously believe that it would be possible for someone to get bullied on a forum? (if your answer is yes then ur an idiot and I'm going to bully you)

Yes it is possible, and I could not care less what you think of me, and go ahead and try it.

Lopp, I think there is a huge difference between bog-standard teasing that yes, we all need to learn to cope with and have a sense of humour about ourselves to deal with, and bullying, which is (usually) an ongoing campaign of harassment and abuse specifically intended to intimidate and humiliate someone.

[Loppfessor]

Yes it is possible, and I could not care less what you think of me, and go ahead and try it.

Lopp, I think there is a huge difference between bog-standard teasing that yes, we all need to learn to cope with and have a sense of humour about ourselves to deal with, and bullying, which is (usually) an ongoing campaign of harassment and abuse specifically intended to intimidate and humiliate someone.

Bah…you just want to discount everything I’m posting as “average” or “ordinary”. I’m well aware of what constitutes bullying and what is simple teasing. Why is it so hard for you to believe that there are some kids who can stand up for themselves and overcome it?

[russhie]

But at what point does childhood teasing become 'proper' bullying and harrassment?

I think it's more to do with the person handling it - a single nasty remark is sometimes enough to bring someone to tears and affect them in some way for the rest of their lives, whereas I've also known other people to put up with horrific persecution day in day out...and they've turned out pretty stable, all things considered.

Maybe just cop it on the chin, have a sense of humour about it & if this fails stand up - show others you respect yourself, yeah?

[ms.peachy]

Why is it so hard for you to believe that there are some kids who can stand up for themselves and overcome it?

I do believe that. But you don't seem to believe that there are many who cannot, and for whom the scars of this torment can have lifelong, devastating effects. Simply telling kids "suck it up and deal with it" is a very damaging attitude, and it saddens me that so many people seem to feel it is appropriate.

[Loppfessor]

That's it peachy! You and me...it's go time!....but seriously I know there are extreme cases of those kids that can't stick up for themselves but I think the vast vast majority can and providing them with too many alternatives does them a great disservice

[ms.peachy]

We are going to have to agree to disagree Lopp, because I don't agree that the 'vast vast' majority can. Many, yes. But many can't, or at least, suffer for years until they learn the necessary coping skills. For many kids being left out there to fend for themselves is tantamount to sending them into armed combat without any weapons. It's not right and no kid should have to put up with it.

I understand the argument that adversity builds character, and kids need to learn how to assert themselves, and all of that. But how do you assert yourself when you haven't a clue how to do that, when it seems like all of your classmates are ganging up on you (and the ones who aren't sit by silently, so as not to draw attention to themselves), and when an adult you trust enough to tell blows you off?

[TurdBerglar]

that's all apart of learning life. getting treated like shit is a part of adult life. i live in the hood and went to school in a posh little town outside my city. needless to say they didn't like me much. if i could fight the harsh treatment, anyone can. if you don't know how to then you must learn. if you don't learn you'll just be a weak adult. if you allow it, people will trample you throughout your life no matter what. this is a skill you must learn. the strong don't get treated poorly. the strong get respected. sounds corny and wrong but it's true. you can't realistically single handedly fight society and change into something fluffy and comforting.

[vickista]

vickista I am most surprised at your response in this thread, having told us what you have about the way you are treated by your sister, and your parents indifference to it. I guess you have learned to take it like a man, then?

well i didnt really have a choice.

it got to a point where i cldnt talk to anyone about it. and one time it was prty bad and it scared my sister that she cld have done it, so she layed off a bit. and well i just to a friend and kept the rest inside, or wrote it out.

but yeah u have to take it sometimes