make me sleepy

[TurdBerglar]

i can't sleep

[Yetra Flam]

i could tell you about my problems

[TurdBerglar]

i need to be awake in six hours and i have midterms tomarrow. im not gonna get any sleep.

[b i o n i c]

do 100 push ups really fast, then have a wank. sleep guaranteed(y)

[Bob]

i need to be awake in 5 hours and i have to be in court tomorrow!

i'm just watching, but still

[TurdBerglar]

being exhausted isn't going to do any good. im having one of those pointless racing thoughts fits.

random shit just running through my head and keeping me awake.

[Yetra Flam]

bob's on the practice

[b i o n i c]

puts me to sleep after the endorphin high

[Yetra Flam]

wanking helps me to go to sleep.
if you're a girl, is it wanking? buffing maybe?

[b i o n i c]

chick wank it. chicks jerk off too

[Yetra Flam]

i was unsure of the correct terminology

[HEIRESS]

monsing the pubis yo

[Knuckles]

Sorry dude, you're screwed for tonight. I hate when I can't get to sleep and I know I have to. I just make it worse by stressing about.

I look at the clock, "shit, I've got to be out of bed in 7 hours!"

I close my eyes, toss and turn in my bed, look at the clock again, "Fuck, I've got to be out of bed in 6 hours!"

I close my eyes, toss and turn in my bed, look at the clock again, "God, please let me fall asleep I've got to be up in 5 fucking hours!"

I close my eyes, toss and turn in my bed, look at the clock again, "Jesus, I think I'm just going to shoot myself. I've got to be up in 4 hours. Maybe I'll just watch some late night infomercials for Extenze." :(

[b i o n i c]

also, chicks totally get boners

[Yetra Flam]

this is getting way raunchy

[TurdBerglar]

Sorry dude, you're screwed for tonight. I hate when I can't get to sleep and I know I have to. I just make it worse by stressing about.

I look at the clock, "shit, I've got to be out of bed in 7 hours!"

I close my eyes, toss and turn in my bed, look at the clock again, "Fuck, I've got to be out of bed in 6 hours!"

I close my eyes, toss and turn in my bed, look at the clock again, "God, please let me fall asleep I've got to be up in 5 fucking hours!"

I close my eyes, toss and turn in my bed, look at the clock again, "Jesus, I think I'm just going to shoot myself. I've got to be up in 4 hours. Maybe I'll just watch some late night infomercials for Extenze." :(


that's how it is for me except im not tossing and turning. i just have all this shit that runs through my head like a tv in the background keeping my awake. totally random racing thoughts.

[b i o n i c]

ill just crawl back into my hole now. push ups... push ups.

[TurdBerglar]

im going back to bed

second try

[Loppfessor]

Step one: log of the computer....

[HEIRESS]

also, chicks totally get boners

it's called "blue walls" dude

[abcdefz]

i can't sleep



File this away for next time, Turd:

First, you need to lay down in bed in the dark. Light (including your monitor) increases your brain function, making it harder to sleep.

Lay there with your eyes shut and count backward in your mind from 1,000. Don't think of anything except the number, and think the
whole number through (for instance: nine hundred eighty-four, nine hundred eighty-three, etc., not nine hundred eighty-four,
eighty-three...)

This works. The hard part is not thinking of other things, but really concentrating on your countdown and the countdown only.

I have problems getting to sleep because of racing thoughts, and this helps.

[MC Moot]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPvj7yp8t4g&mode=related&search=hypnotize

[paul jones]

WAKE UP TURD! The Daleks are invading!!!!:eek:

[TurdBerglar]

File this away for next time, Turd:

First, you need to lay down in bed in the dark. Light (including your monitor) increases your brain function, making it harder to sleep.

Lay there with your eyes shut and count backward in your mind from 1,000. Don't think of anything except the number, and think the
whole number through (for instance: nine hundred eighty-four, nine hundred eighty-three, etc., not nine hundred eighty-four,
eighty-three...)

This works. The hard part is not thinking of other things, but really concentrating on your countdown and the countdown only.

I have problems getting to sleep because of racing thoughts, and this helps.

i've tried doing very similar things before. but my mind just eventually wonders. it's like as if my brain just does not want to go to sleep like a stubborn child.

[abcdefz]

i've tried doing very similar things before. but my mind just eventually wonders. it's like as if my brain just does not want to go to sleep like a stubborn child.




Trust me, Turd, I understand. But this works.

I think that the going backwards thing works because it's more likely to keep your brain engaged. Or try counting backward subtracting
three each time or something. I don't know. But I read this a couple years ago, tried it, and it works.

[Lyman Zerga]

also, chicks totally get boners

it's called lady boners cause we got the class



and i sometimes have the same problem like turd LADY BONERS LOL no but it helps me to think of non sensish stuff like that kind of stuff i would dream about or i think about the things that i want to change about my body, starting with the toes
by the time im at the ankles im usually already asleep

[Yetra Flam]

count back from 1000 in increments of 3

[TurdBerglar]

shit

[Yetra Flam]

No wait, it's increments of 7.

[TurdBerglar]

i was fighting to stay awake on the bus earlier now im wide awake. i don't get this bull shit.

[TurdBerglar]

maybe i should start drinking

[monkey]

i truly believe wanking does the job for most insomnia issues

[mikizee]

It's always worked for me!

[TurdBerglar]

i truly believe wanking does the job for most insomnia issues

give me some inspiration

[monkey]

boobs

[TurdBerglar]

that's it?

[monkey]

big ass. big boobs. little waist. how's that for hot imagery?

[ericlee]

big assed boobs and a lady carrying pottery above her head while walking through a monkey filled jungle.

C'mon now, you can't say you've never spanked it to a National Geographic mag.

[Auton]

listen to Common. usually does the trick.

[TurdBerglar]

im real tired tonight, guys


don't worry

[Yetra Flam]

oh. cause i was going to be all "wanking!"

http://thesuperficial.com/2007/10/kim_kardashian_does_stuff_who.php

[Auton]

god dammit your post ruined the timing

[TurdBerglar]

oh. cause i was going to be all "wanking!"

http://thesuperficial.com/2007/10/kim_kardashian_does_stuff_who.php

yeah like i haven't already noticed that 12 hours ago


the woman could have a cock growing out her forehead and still be the most gorgeous woman alive

[TurdBerglar]

i think im gonna stay up to watch seven