fucktopgirl
10-18-2007, 04:43 PM
WEll, i am in it full blast, there is many factors why i feel so insecure atm, firstly, it is the time of the month, a rush of hormone, sometime it is more energy, sometime i am angry , sometime there is nothing, this month i feel totally insecure.
Me and David ( Alix father) are somewhat back together. A year and half ago i came here because i missed too much my family, Alix was transforming herself into a little english girl, not that i mind that she speak fluently in english but because she was submersed in a english school , she was losing her french. Me and David are both québécois, so i though it was important for her , while she is young, to get the both. So that was another reason for me to come here.
I was not really tired of David but the situation there was unbearable, after 7 years, everything was looking boring or without any new excitement. PLus i missed my family, A LOT. I have 3 sisters and two brothers and we are really close and i have a good relation with both my parents. Good thing i came back here because one year after i arrived to montreal, my mother died, 24 june, lung cancer. So, i did the right choice to come back here because i did see my mom and ALix too. Another thing i wanted to do was university which i am presently doing now.
So my move back east was because i did not love him anymore but i needed to do things for me and expanded my horizons. At first we were not sure was would happen with US. Mainly, we though it was a friendly break up, although we did speak to each other almost every 2-3 days, steady.
So, David just left 3 days ago back to BC, he came to visit for 2 weeks , we had a great time and we reconnected , now we want to somewhat make this long distance relationship work. I want to be with him in my life but i don't want to stop studying right now, so that mean that i have another 2 years to go. He knows about this and want to make it work which is awesome. He will come back in december and i will go there this summer with Alix and work .
With that said, i have a surge of insecurities toward this situation, i am wondering if we are kidding ourselves or if it is really possible. So many things can happen, he can fall in love with another girl closer to him as i can too with a man, although i did my share of investigation and no MAN can be better then him. He his top knoch for me.
But yeah, i am fucking pissing my pants now because i know i deeply care and love him and i don't want to lose him but with me being far away, lots of things can happen...
any thoughs?
Me and David ( Alix father) are somewhat back together. A year and half ago i came here because i missed too much my family, Alix was transforming herself into a little english girl, not that i mind that she speak fluently in english but because she was submersed in a english school , she was losing her french. Me and David are both québécois, so i though it was important for her , while she is young, to get the both. So that was another reason for me to come here.
I was not really tired of David but the situation there was unbearable, after 7 years, everything was looking boring or without any new excitement. PLus i missed my family, A LOT. I have 3 sisters and two brothers and we are really close and i have a good relation with both my parents. Good thing i came back here because one year after i arrived to montreal, my mother died, 24 june, lung cancer. So, i did the right choice to come back here because i did see my mom and ALix too. Another thing i wanted to do was university which i am presently doing now.
So my move back east was because i did not love him anymore but i needed to do things for me and expanded my horizons. At first we were not sure was would happen with US. Mainly, we though it was a friendly break up, although we did speak to each other almost every 2-3 days, steady.
So, David just left 3 days ago back to BC, he came to visit for 2 weeks , we had a great time and we reconnected , now we want to somewhat make this long distance relationship work. I want to be with him in my life but i don't want to stop studying right now, so that mean that i have another 2 years to go. He knows about this and want to make it work which is awesome. He will come back in december and i will go there this summer with Alix and work .
With that said, i have a surge of insecurities toward this situation, i am wondering if we are kidding ourselves or if it is really possible. So many things can happen, he can fall in love with another girl closer to him as i can too with a man, although i did my share of investigation and no MAN can be better then him. He his top knoch for me.
But yeah, i am fucking pissing my pants now because i know i deeply care and love him and i don't want to lose him but with me being far away, lots of things can happen...
any thoughs?