Here we go again

[ericlee]

yep, another thread about my wife and if you notice, this thread is made almost a month after the other one. Except this time, even though its her period time, I've decided not to blame it on that. Instead, I've been doing some research on bipolar and oddly enough, the symptoms match with alot of her actions.

I'll go ahead and tell you just what happened. Last week, her and my inlaw and I had dinner together and my wife really treated me cold and for no reason. It was almost to the point of me wanting to just get up and leave for them to eat by themselves. I'd try having conversation with her only for her to reply with a rude and cold remark. I dont know what I did to deserve that.

Yesterday we had plans to do together before we both went to work and I haven't had the chance to talk to her since last week about how I felt last week so I did. I told her that I am starting to notice that she's got some problems that she needs to get some help with. For example, very drastic mood changes at the snap of a finger. I'm talking from her saying she loves me to hating me in a matter of seconds. I wasn't being mean or harsh when I told her this but, I did let her know that I do get hurt when she acts like that.

The reason I told her is because we were going to go in public together and alot of times if we're together and have a discussion, she may hear something that she doesnt want to hear and she puts on a little show, screaming and yelling at me right in public instead of talking like an adult. Nope, that's not embarassing. So I just told her to think before she acts like that.

Nope, she didn't like that speech and then she told me that she didn't want to go and run out errands. She just decided to go and lay on the bed and ignore me like a kid again instead of trying to talk to me. I decided that if she wants to act like a kid then I will treat her like one. I got her off of the bed and onto her feet and started to dress her so we could leave. I then walked to the bathroom to shave. After that, there she is again laying in the bed and pouting. I've seen her act like
this so many times that I was a bit frustrated and I started to hit the bed as if it were a set of bongos and yelled "hurry up, get on up" like I used to do with my platoon. Tried to dress her again and she flipped. Went and broke, I'm talking demolished the laptop that I bought her. She also threatened to break our flatscreen and she went to grab it but, I grabbed her and put her on the couch and held her down till she could relax.

I then called a psychiatrist, told him how she acts and he asked me if she is willing to go to an appointment and I told him that I didn't think so cause she doesnt want to admit. Well, while I was talking to him, she decided to ttalk to him and admitted that she needs some help. I just hope she keeps her word and follows our appointment.

[mikizee]

Jesus christ man. I really admire your patience and empathy when it comes to your wife's moods and behaviours. If it was me I probably would have ended it by now.

Hopefully she will go see this guy and you guys can work together towards being happier!

[ericlee]

it is all in patience if you love someone as I do. Leaving if you can see some kind of problem is too easy and weak for me. She doesnt like to hear me telling her these things so I'll go ahead and leave it to the professionals to do so. Maybe then it will sink into her. If she doesnt follow through the appointment or if she doesnt follow the advice then I think it'd be time for me to give up. In the meantime, its all about trying to help her. I can't leave her just cause she has some issues like that.

[Rock]

That sucks man. Well...at least she is admitting that she may have some issues and I take it she is willing to talk to a professional. I guess thats the first couple of steps right?

Try and get her into some therapy of some sort and things will get better once they can narrow down what her real issues are. I'm not much for therapy since sometimes it just leads to meds, but in this case, it may be something you may want to get started asap.

By the way, much respect for sticking through it all.

[Waus]

By the way, much respect for sticking through it all.

Yeah, you're a boon to the institution of marriage ericlee. Best of luck to you two.

[RobMoney$]

I'm really glad to hear that she's open to the idea of getting some help.

[cookiepuss]

I'll cross my fingers that she doesn't back out of therapy. sounds like it could really help.

I also wanna say...that hopefully she doesn't give up on the process if this therapist isn't a good fit. it can take some shopping around to find a professional that you really click with. Some people just try therapy and if it doesn't help them immediately they just decide there is no therapy that will help them and that's just not true. So you may want to let her know that if she doesn't like this guy that there are others and she doesn't have to stick with him.

[ericlee]

I'll cross my fingers that she doesn't back out of therapy. sounds like it could really help.

I also wanna say...that hopefully she doesn't give up on the process if this therapist isn't a good fit. it can take some shopping around to find a professional that you really click with. Some people just try therapy and if it doesn't help them immediately they just decide there is no therapy that will help them and that's just not true. So you may want to let her know that if she doesn't like this guy that there are others and she doesn't have to stick with him.

To make things more comfortable for her, I've cancelled the appointment with him and made another one with a lady. I'm hoping the lady will strike a nerve with her and I hope she throws a fit so the lady knows what to offer her.

She'll snap at anyone if they either tell her the wrong thing or prove her wrong. She has the mood changes such as, we went to the cinema and she really enjoyed the show and had a good time. We walked out of the cinema and into the street. Its manhattan at 1am so it was loud, loud people and she got real angry cause she didnt like all the noise. She basically took it all out on me. We didnt have our dinner together like we were supposed to afterwards and just totally ruined our evening.

If she has some mental issues, then i can accept it. Its not her fault and also my pops suffered some problems from Vietnam so, I'm used to it. I will say this. If she does ditch the appointment then i have to let her go. She told me that she was perfectly normal last night and that she didn't want to go. I was being ignored again and ended up sleeping on the couch. This stuff is really wearing me down.

[ericlee]

on man, I just kinda sealed the deal since my inlaw is here tonight, I walked downstairs to my wife and inlaw and gave my inlaw the patch that I used to wear while I was in the army and in afghanistan. I really can't talk much about how I earned it but, I gave it to my motherinlaw to pass it to my fatherinlaw. Her father in law gave me the star that he wore on his uniform after he made general in the Chinese army. This is so.cool

[befsquire]

i had a doctor in my office the other day, discussing two of my clients, and she said that men start showing signs of major mental illnesses in their early twenties, whereas women show signs in their early thirties.

i don't know how old your wife is, but the timeframe sounds like it fits.

[RobMoney$]

I found this in a quick google search.


Prevalence and Age-of-Onset of Mental Disorders
Unlike most disabling physical diseases, mental illness begins very early in life. Half of all lifetime cases begin by age 14; three quarters have begun by age 24. Thus, mental disorders are really the chronic diseases of the young. For example, anxiety disorders often begin in late childhood, mood disorders in late adolescence, and substance abuse in the early 20’s. Unlike heart disease or most cancers, young people with mental disorders suffer disability when they are in the prime of life, when they would normally be the most productive.
The risk of mental disorders is substantially lower among people who have matured out of the high-risk age range. Prevalence increases from the youngest group (age 18-29) to the next-oldest age group (age 30-44) and then declines, sometimes substantially, in the oldest group (age 60 +). Females have higher rates of mood and anxiety disorders. Males have higher rates of substance use disorders and impulse disorders.
The survey found that in the U.S., mental disorders are quite common; 26 percent of the general population reported that they had symptoms sufficient for diagnosing a mental disorder during the past 12 months. However, many of these cases are mild or will resolve without formal interventions.
It is likely, however, that the prevalence rates in this paper are underestimated, because the sample was drawn from listings of households and did not include homeless and institutionalized (nursing homes, group homes) populations. In addition, the study did not assess some rare and clinically complex psychiatric disorders, such as schizophrenia and autism, because a household survey is not the most efficient study design to identify and evaluate those disorders.


http://www.nih.gov/news/pr/jun2005/nimh-06.htm

[de-nice]

12-oh my god...

I would feel sorry for you, and I almost do, but there is strength in NAMI. National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. Handle with kid gloves. What is this- an arranged marriage?

d

[ericlee]

12-oh my god...

I would feel sorry for you, and I almost do, but there is strength in NAMI. National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. Handle with kid gloves. What is this- an arranged marriage?

d

ok, I'll spill my guts again bout us and this is the last time, hahaha.

In the early 90's she came to the states as a foriegn exchange student. I felt that I needed to give her something foreign for her exchange and she felt the same, well, here we are. 10 years later...:.

[ericlee]

erm, I may sound like a dick right now but oh well. I'm finding a little hilarity in this. She's in the living room with her mom and I'm in the bedroom on my iphone which happens to be the only device with Internet.

I know she's complaining about her breaking the laptop. I just find it funny cause she tryed to blame me for her breaking it and I told her that I didn't tell her to break it and not to blame me for her actions.

[ericlee]

And everytime I make these damn threads, there's always a good ending. I told her that I know my faults. I shouldn't have taken her out of the bed. Even though we had things of importance to do, I should have just left her in the bed to mope.

Anyway, I learned from her and completely ignored her for the past two days and it worked. She missed me. I went to the store and got her some kick ass chocolate and some beautiful white roses. Yep, it pays to be a smooth character sometimes. I may know how to make her angry but I most definitly know how to make her happy.

/thread

[Yetra Flam]

Cyclothymia