so... this is kinda embarrasing

[insertnamehere]

i think maybe ive got hemmerhoids or however you spell it. i dunno. theres obviously something very wrong. it itches. god it itches. i dont really know what to do about this.


and before you say "go to a doctor" i coudlnt do that till monday or tuesday anyway.

but this is pretty unbearable.

[Bob]

ok

[insertnamehere]

it's maddening!!!!

what's wrong with me/do i do???? :(:(:(

[TurdBerglar]

if it's hemmeroid it just eventually goes away

[Bob]

it's maddening!!!!

what's wrong with me/do i do???? :(:(:(

i'd say go to a doctor if you're that concerned about it but you already told us not to say that, so i dunno what to tell you

[TAL]

Ooooooooooooooooooo...
If your butt's not feelin' fine
Raymond's here, Raymond's here
Just squirt this lube on your behind
Raymond's here to help
Ooooooooooooooooooo...

[Knuckles]

if it's hemmeroid it just eventually goes away

Turd is pretty much the BBMB expert on roids.

[cosmo105]

the shit you feel compelled to share, seriously

witch hazel pads are good for that, or hemorrhoid cream obviously

[alruggs]

scoot your butt on the carpet. that's what my dogs do.

[ericlee]

wrap some 100 grit sandpaper around an electric dong and go have
a scratch at it.

Afterwards, in complete detail, can you post about it here?

[ericlee]

scoot your butt on the carpet. that's what my dogs do.

hahahahaha, I love when they do that!!! I call it driving the car.

[insertnamehere]

well, it was either post it here, or ask someone i know in real life about it.

lol@ allrugs


i think that would feel good, except i dont have any carpet

[-T-]

This thread need more pictures.

[afronaut]

you could try washing it every once in awhile.

[insertnamehere]

pinworms has also been suggested.

in any case, i think i have a good deal of unpleasantness ahead of me

looks like im heading to the health center monday


fuck fuck fuck, im gonna have to go up to the counter and tell the receptionist lady what my problem is to schedule my walk-in appointment.

i hate life

[adrockmelanie]

scoot your butt on the carpet. that's what my dogs do.

have you seen that commercial where the dog does this? it's a carpet shampooer commercial or something.

there's a dog wiping it's butt along the carpet and you hear a little boy's voice yell "mommy! look at sparky's new trick!!" and then you hear the mom scream. and then they fade to the vacuum thing and talk about it.

it's the best.

[mikizee]

say what? cant u just go up the counter and ask for an appointment with a doc? why does the receptionist have to know? its none of her business.

[insertnamehere]

you have to tell them why you want to see the doctor. its a walk in type deal and they prioritize things by how sick you are. its kinda like the emergency room, where you have to sit around forever and wait.

the other option would be to call and schedule and appointment, but still i woudlnt be able to get one till later in the week (at the earliest) and they would still want to know what i was making an appointment for.

friday i called the counseling center to make an appointment with them, and the absolute earliest they can get me in is the 20th. good thing im not actually having some kind of mental health crisis.

student health services isn't the best, but hey it's cheap.

[mikizee]

Ahhh I love living in Australia. Our health system definitely has its flaws, but here I can walk into a doctors clinic, only wait 40 mins or so to see a doc, and not pay a cent.

Then, if i have a concession card, only pay about $6 for prescription medicine.

I definitely agree with the carpet idea. Looks like fun.

[Loppfessor]

I"m sorry bout your misfortune but this shit is hilarious

[Lyman Zerga]

i have them for a while now and i can tell you that they wont kill you.. but the rest of your family!


well it hardly ever itches for me but you know those bastards can become a much bigger pain in the ass like they can become such pains that you can barely sit down anymore

get a cream from a chemist shop like i did, before it's too late! though im not feeling too much results yet since im only using it for a short time, getting that plastic shit up my ass is the best part!

i think i know why i got them cause i shit stones cause im always dehydrated CAUSE i never drink enough CAAAUSE im born without a thirst or something


all you can do is:

drink more
dont push too hard on the toilet
eat more roughage foods and healthier at all
do more exercise
anal sex only 5 times a day max.
wash after you used the toilet or use atleast wet toilet paper
anal homo cream

or a hemorrhoids surgery when nothing helps

causes:

anal sex
dehydration
weak veins
obesity
pregnancy
too much pushing

[hitmonlee]

Ahhh I love living in Australia. Our health system definitely has its flaws, but here I can walk into a doctors clinic, only wait 40 mins or so to see a doc, and not pay a cent.

Then, if i have a concession card, only pay about $6 for prescription medicine.

I definitely agree with the carpet idea. Looks like fun.

the cheapest dr in my area is $56 for a visit, and i get $30 back from medicare :mad:

the only places with free doctors are crappy ass suburbs in the middle of nowhere.

anyway i have haemorrhoids too i think. anal sex is not good for you, even if it feels good at the time. (n)

[mikizee]

the cheapest dr in my area is $56 for a visit, and i get $30 back from medicare :mad:

the only places with free doctors are crappy ass suburbs in the middle of nowhere.

Really? This place is full of bulk-billed doctors clinics. The ones that aren't cost about $20.

anyway i have haemorrhoids too i think. anal sex is not good for you, even if it feels good at the time. (n)

I've never been so turned on and so turned off by the same sentence.

I recently found a chick (finally!!) that really likes anal sex. It was a party, let me tell you.

[jabumbo]

should of used the gold bond, matey

[insertnamehere]

i don't know what gold bond is but i know a guy that loves to use it to jack off


and also that i think old people buy it a lot

[TurdBerglar]

how do you jack off with a powder?

[Loppfessor]

how do you jack off with a powder?

uh what he said....also where the hell do you live that a doctor's visist only costs $26??!! From what I'm told health care in the US is quite expensive but at those prices you can't affort NOT to get roids!!

[insertnamehere]

who said a dr visit is $26?

[Bob]

i knew a guy who put gold bond on his balls once

he did not recommend it

[Loppfessor]

who said a dr visit is $26?

Oh wait that was Hitmonlee....sorry. Yeah you better take better care of your ass. Meanwhile answer the other question, how do you jack off with powder? I had some lady give me a massage with power once. It was weird but still had the same effects as lotion

[insertnamehere]

yeah. i mean it makes sense to me, dry lubricants. i just dont know why youd want to use a powder. maybe its less messy? powder can be pretty messy, but lotion can be pretty drippy. someone with a penis should investigate this further and report back.

[ms.peachy]

i knew a guy who put gold bond on his balls once

he did not recommend it

Mr.peachy loves Gold Bond for every other inch of his body, but he says in no uncertain terms that it must not touch any of 'the boy bits'. I'm told it rather stings.

[jabumbo]

Mr.peachy loves Gold Bond for every other inch of his body, but he says in no uncertain terms that it must not touch any of 'the boy bits'. I'm told it rather stings.


when placed on the balls, it produces a warm and healthy burning sensation, especially when wet and/or sweaty. its a great remedy when you start to rub a little too much in the hot months.

you just have to be careful to not get any too far back or forward.


i usually apply after showers

[abcdefz]

Just use some Preparation H. No need to go to a doctor unless the 'rhoids don't go away.

[insertnamehere]

i've decided it's something else. im not sure what, but i'll give it some time and see how things go. with some cortizone creme and patience hopefully things will sorth themselves out. random skin irritation maybe?

id think that i had some crazy std if i'd gotten any in the past (depressing period of time). luckily, i know that cant be my problem.

i'm having numerous skin problems in other places now so i'm just gonna go with this theory.

[insertnamehere]

cmute seems to be quite interested in my ass, i've noticed.

[Auton]

tell us more about what's going on in the inside of your ass! more! MORE!!!!!!

[Bob]

tell us more about what's going on in the inside of your ass! more! MORE!!!!!!

haha

[abcdefz]

Actually, if they're hemorrhoids, they'd be partly outside the ass.

Just sayin'.

[Rock]

Sitz bath. seriously.

[cookiepuss]

id think that i had some crazy std if i'd gotten any in the past (depressing period of time). luckily, i know that cant be my problem.



not to scare you but, don't rule that out completely until a professional has checked it out. Herpes would be very itchy and painful. and Herpes can take months or even years to show symptoms. and since Herpes is passed through skin to skin contact you wouldn't have to have unprotected anal sex to catch it. It could be transmitted by a partner touching you there with their fingers even.

I'm just saying. Unless you've had no partners at all, there's a slim chance that it could be STD related.

[insertnamehere]

yeah. ive made up my mind that its just some kind of skin irritation. it just itches like fuck. i'm gonna give a it a couple more days and see if things get better. id really rather not have a doctor checking that out. cortizone creme helps. it doesn't feel good, it actually burns pretty bad, but at least it's not itching. itching is so maddening that burning is actually a nice change.

[Yetra Flam]

well, at least it's not on your face, right?

[hitmonlee]

Really? This place is full of bulk-billed doctors clinics. The ones that aren't cost about $20.

I've never been so turned on and so turned off by the same sentence.

I recently found a chick (finally!!) that really likes anal sex. It was a party, let me tell you.

LOL just dont make her do it too often hey? (y)

i live in a snobby area, i think they have more bulk billing drs out in the suburbs, but still not very many.

i'd kill for a concession card. cheap appointments and cheap meds. hell yes!