Two of my best pals. Same damn situation.

[ericlee]

I get a text this mornin from my best frie saying for me to call him when I get up. I called him and he asked if I had any room. I asked what he meant and he said that he may need to stay cause his girlfriend of six years told him that she didn't want to be with him anymore.

Last week, my friend in Ohio called me and told me that his girlfriend of eight years said that she needed some space to "think". They've got a house together and just out of the blue, she decides she needs to be away from him.

I don't get it man, after six and eight years, you don't just make this shit up. One year, two years or even three is when you should really decide it's over and I believe that once it's past four years, you should've figured each other out.

[ScarySquirrel]

Yup.

[Bob]

hey, at least you have a tenant now

[paul jones]

get them to clean the toilet

[ericlee]

hey, at least you have a tenant now

For real. And he's also in the construction biz. He does alot of rennovations in some famous buildings in Manhattan. Yep, I'd say if he fixes the joint up then, the first coupla months rent are free.

[paul jones]

For real. And he's also in the construction biz. He does alot of rennovations in some famous buildings in Manhattan. Yep, I'd say if he fixes the joint up then, the first coupla months rent are free.

get him to make you a Saturday Night Fever dancefloor with lights and stuff in the living room

[ericlee]

get him to make you a Saturday Night Fever dancefloor with lights and stuff in the living room


Ohh yeah, where platform shoes are allowed only. I want a few inflateamates hangin from the ceiling too. With tassles on their boobies. And wearing platform shoes.

[QueenAdrock]

Yeah, sometimes the fear of being alone will cause women to stay with men they're unhappy with forever.(n)

[hpdrifter]

Same thing happened with my two friends. Together 5+ years and broke up recently. :(

[Randetica]

they two should get an apartment and get it on already

[russhie]

I don't get it man, after six and eight years, you don't just make this shit up. One year, two years or even three is when you should really decide it's over and I believe that once it's past four years, you should've figured each other out.

I disagree with that.

[mikizee]

I disagree with that.

And I disagree with that fact that I haven't seen a photo of you yet, because I reckon you'd be hot

just sayin

[Bob]

oh you men

[Jitters]

I disagree with that.

Why is that? The longer a relationship goes on the more a couple should know about each other and any problems that arise should be worked out if two people care about each other.

After a year or two a walk-out is just inexcusable without good reason.

[ericlee]

I disagree with that.

i think that you pretty much should know your partner even after the third year. Three years is a long time together and you should know if whoever you're with is the one you'd like to spend more time with.

You've got to grow up and be responsible and break it off before you get serious and end up causing complications.

Engaged after eight years? Having a house together and all of the sudden scootin out? That's childish. Especially being a thirty one year old women.

[ffcp]

8 years is also enough time to get tired of eachother...:confused:

[Auton]

^that's true, too

[russhie]

I don't think that it's ever possible to "figure someone out" completely.

Relationships, like people, are dynamic. Maybe it's because I'm still in my early twenties, and can see how my boyfriend and I have developed and changed over the time we've been together.

I don't think that leaving a relationship is a childish act. You want to tell her to grow up? Ending a relationship without there being a catalyst first is incredibly tough - not only do you have to explain your feelings to someone you still care deeply about, you also have to deal with the have-I-made-the-right-decision-to-leave shit. I'd bet that she didn't just wake up one morning, think "hmm, I wonder if I can make my life as messy and emotionally draining as possible" and end the engagement/relationship/mortgage on a whim.

It takes more guts and maturity to end something when you know it's right than to hang about and 'make the best of it'. I don't think you can put a definitive date on when you lose the right to end a relationship beyond infidelity, abuse or dishonesty. It's infinitely more childish to remain in an unsatisfying relationship, you owe it to yourself and to your partner to be honest.

[hitmonlee]

I don't get it man, after six and eight years, you don't just make this shit up. One year, two years or even three is when you should really decide it's over and I believe that once it's past four years, you should've figured each other out.

maybe they got bored
maybe they met someone new who rivals their partner and now they need time to think *

part of the reason why i'll never get married is because i don't see the point when chances are you'll either end up old and unhappy, old and having affairs, remain happily married until one of you dies tragically young, or divorce.




* screw around

[ffcp]

^well said(y)

[cookiepuss]

perhaps both women want to get married (I did'nt see eric write that either men were engaged to these women. let me know if I missed it.) and after 6 and 8 years they are tired of waiting. maybe they want kids and for women there's only a window of time that are prime childbearing years. the older they get the more risk that something will go wrong. even if they didn't want them at the begining of the relationship they might be changing their minds and it's confusing. and as hitmonlee said the posssibility that they've met someone else/are screwing around is a pretty good bet too.

dude, some marriages break up after 20 years so if you ask me "anything goes".

for whatever reason, these ladies obviously aren't getting what they want from thier relationships. doesn't matter whose fault it is.

[ericlee]

One of them was engaged-the eight year couple and the ironic part about it is the girl asked him when were they going to get married. He told her whenever she's ready and she said soon and two weeks later, she needs to be away from him. I've seen them together, almost inseperable and they made a great couple. Maybe I'm defending him but, I don't find it normal to just leave like that.

For sure I'm defending both of them. I know the couple that's been together for six years, the guy isn't too showing about his feelings for her and he doesnt really show his affection and such so, I'm not really putting blame on her. But, the other couple is a strange situation.

Both these guys are career minded, work hard and even go to school with goals. Yeah people split after 20 years and such but, I'll never see the sense in it unless the guy is a total loser with no intentions of doing anything in life. Not the case with these guys.

So the lady wants to leave to screw around? I'm sorry, not even sure if that's what's going on but, can you give me a more pathetic and selfish answer?

[hitmonlee]

i did say "met someone who rivals their partner" i didn't simply say "screw around"

there's more than one "the one" and its possible to meet them when you're already devoted to someone else.

[ericlee]

i did say "met someone who rivals their partner" i didn't simply say "screw around"

there's more than one "the one" and its possible to meet them when you're already devoted to someone else.

Screwing around and meeting a rival partner. It's still pretty much blantently screwing around. I'm not saying she's leaving him for another guy, he doesn't even know why but, after her asking about the marriage and he gave her the answer she wanted. I really think it's pretty immature and selfish for her to find someone else if that's the case. I rarely see a relationship that is broken up that's not over someone else.

Sure, she's got her own life with her own choices but who knows. I dont think it's right.

[hitmonlee]

i think it's immature and selfish to remain in a relationship when you have strong feelings for someone else that aren't going to go away.

[Documad]

Better to figure it out and move on when you're 31 and can still find someone else you might want to have kids with. Crazy to stay any longer if you don't believe you're going to want to spend the rest of your life with the current guy.

A friend of mine left her life partner after almost 10 years together. It was really difficult, but once she was out of that relationship for a few months, she was horrified that she stayed so long. I also have two guy friends who were dumped by their wives recently and neither one saw it coming. It's funny because I sure saw it coming and I barely knew their wives. Oh god, and a female relative of mine waited 25 years to dump her husband. She wants those years back. I don't think we were meant to be with one person forever, but what do I know.


It's heartbreaking to find out that someone doesn't appreciate your best friend. I don't know what guys do exactly, but if you can be there and just keep listening and telling him that it's better she walked before they had kids, then you've done your job as a friend. It's nice that you have the spare room too.

[marsdaddy]

Haven't you people ever heard of the 7 year itch? Marilyn Monroe, I believe.

[ericlee]

i think it's immature and selfish to remain in a relationship when you have strong feelings for someone else that aren't going to go away.

Yeah, sure but, don't be misleading anyone. If she wanted to go run off with some guy then she shouldn't have asked about a marriage and kept saying saying she loved him two weeks before she decided to leave.

It's a stupid head game and if you've had these strong feelings for someone else for so long then it should have been mentioned to the person who's been living falsely with you for so long.

I'll admit, I've never been in a relationship for over 5 years so, I really couldn't tell you how it is for people who've been with each other for more than so yeah, if someone wants to leave out of it then, it's their choice but, the more adult thing to do is at least have the damn decency to be up front and honest with the person you've been spending 8 years with.

[kll]

the seven year itch

marilyn monroe


(edit, ha! i hadn't seen marsdaddys post!)

[cookiepuss]

Yeah, sure but, don't be misleading anyone. If she wanted to go run off with some guy then she shouldn't have asked about a marriage and kept saying saying she loved him two weeks before she decided to leave.

It's a stupid head game and if you've had these strong feelings for someone else for so long then it should have been mentioned to the person who's been living falsely with you for so long.

I'll admit, I've never been in a relationship for over 5 years so, I really couldn't tell you how it is for people who've been with each other for more than so yeah, if someone wants to leave out of it then, it's their choice but, the more adult thing to do is at least have the damn decency to be up front and honest with the person you've been spending 8 years with.

well now that i have more information, I'd be inclined to say that perhaps she asked and then for whatever reason got cold feet. that does happen to people of both sexes. it might not be logical but it happens.

she's probably not screwing around. but again...anything goes.
if she is a very manipulative person perhaps she has a lover and proposing to her partner was ment to spurn her lover into some sort of action to stop her from making a commitment. it's sort of old fashioned but there are women who play that game..."I'm going to marry someone else unless you stop me."
but I doubt that senario applys here

[ericlee]

the seven year itch

marilyn monroe


(edit, ha! i hadn't seen marsdaddys post!)

I thought Ho Chi Minh had that. Along with herpes and crabs.