this is probably a girlie thread: marriage and bebbes

[monkey]

you've been properly warned.
***


i occasionally want to be married and have a baby. not necessarily with the current boyfriend. rather, i just really wish i would find that man who cant live without me and wants to marry me and make me a fat lady. it's not like a constant, gnawing thought. it's just a small desire that i hardly feel or express. but i figure i cant be the only one... this is probably normal, yes?

i'm guessing it's an age thing. a biological clock thing, perhaps? or maybe just the selfish desire to be the most important person in the world to someone else.

[adam_f]

Once I finish school, I'll move to New York and have your baby and have it tear my vagina, so you won't have to. That's love.

[paul jones]

yeah that's quite normal

[monkey]

Once I finish school, I'll move to New York and have your baby and have it tear my vagina, so you won't have to. That's love.

<3 true love

[cosmo105]

the whole doting partner and being a momma thing definitely appeals to me. i think i have a healthy fear of it (since it's such a big responsibility) but at the same time i see it as something i'd like to have happen in my life. i've never been someone to say i absolutely definitely want kids, nor am i one to say that i definitely don't. i'd really like to, but that's not for a long time from now. and it does feel nice being someone's #1. :)

[hitmonlee]

i'm the complete opposite. the more i see photos of babies the more i don't ever want an alien growing in my belly. freaky! couldn't we just lay eggs or something?

[paul jones]

couldn't we just lay eggs or something?

you're yoking aren't you?!(y)

[monkey]

i've always liked children, but i never considered myself "old enough" to be responsible for a child. in some ways, i think im starting to be.

shit, i'd so mess up my child though. but what parent doesnt?

[cosmo105]

i used to be really terrified of screwing up my kids but i have such a great mom and awesome examples in the rest of my family that i really don't worry about it anymore. what i worry about now is that sometimes i just don't know what to say to kids or how to handle them because i never really babysat all that much and am not around them too often. i kinda want to take some child psychology courses before entering into mommahood.

[Drederick Tatum]

I'm awesome with kids. compared to me, mine are gonna hate their mother.

[insertnamehere]

i've never been around children really. i was never even around anyone my own age till i started kindergarten, and even then i never really related to my peers. my dad told me that i was never really treated much like a child, more like a small adult. i was never talked to with baby talk, and i didnt really have things sugar coated for me. there was a lot of "no we don't have money for that" and i understood it.

now children make me uncomfortable as fuck. i rarely have to deal with them, but sometimes one of them will try to talk to me that's the kid of a customer when im at work. i never know what to say. it really weirds me out. sometimes i ignore them. im pretty sure when i do talk to them it sounds really horrible. the other day this little girl came up to me and said in her little girl voice "can i have a balloon???" and i said in kind of a "what the hell kind of question is that" voice "we don't have balloons" and that was all i said to her. we dont! what the hell was i supposed to do about it? but then my manager was like "YOU CANT TALK TO KIDS LIKE THAT?"

i dont like babies either, i mean like, i REALLY dont like talking ot babies. it seems pretty pointless cause they're oblivious to things, but its almost like everyone expects you to, so i never know what to do when faced with a baby. like im supposed to be like "aww arent you precious" or something, but really i dont give a fuck. my manager brought his baby in to work today and was like "hey rachael, this is _____" and i was like "oh..... he's got very blue eyes" and then walked out with my delivery that i was taking. AWKWARD. and then i felt guilty cause i didnt compliment him over and over how adorable his kid is.

im guessing this means i should seriously consider not having children. i really dont understand why some people like them so much. but i guess plenty of people cant understand why i like dogs so much, so meh. to each his own.

[alruggs]

My boyfriend has 4 strapping young boys: 6, 10, 13, 14. Sometimes it's quite overwhelming. The youngest called me his "other mommy" over the weekend and I was honored and quite anxiety stricken at the same time. I think I may be one of the best influences in their lives though. We gave the 10 y.o. a choice of a toy or a book for his birthday and he picked a book. I'll take credit for that one. :)

[Yetra Flam]

i'm starting to get quite scared that i'm never going to have any of that. things don't seem to be working out for me in the way that i would like.

[insertnamehere]

i think most people that want to get married and have kids get married and have kids. people that dont are probably the people that arent too concerned with it

[monkey]

i think about the possibility of it never happening - not so much because of (obvious) lack of husband, but it might just be biologically impossible for me. it's a sad thought. but i really like children. i like playing with them and teaching them stuff. my bf says im very much like a child in my enthusiasm for things, and i think that registers with kids when i play with them. i get really excited about playing in the dirt and finding weird things... it's like im stuck at 7. and ive been around kids my whole life. im the oldest in a huge army of cousins. ive babysat since i was 13. the person i love most in the world is my nearly 5year old cousin, and im constantly trying to teach her stuff. i also bought her a barbie for her bday. hahaha.

i just wanna grow up into that definition of an adult: married with children, settled in a way.

ive never dated anyone with kids, but i can imagine that being an incredible learning experience. but the fear in that, for me, is getting really attached to the children and then having the relationship go to the shitter. it's hard enough to break up with the family when you're close. shit, i still havent broken up with my ex's family. i love them to pieces. that's a whole other subject...

[insertnamehere]

even if you're infertile, you could adopt and have that experience. i feel like theres a good chance that its impossible/really hard for me to conciev children. i've tried brining this up at the gyno but the lady i see is a bitch and doesnt seem to care. granted she is the gyno at a college so mostly she has to deal with college sluts all the time and probably hates her job, but still. i rarely get periods. when i was on birth control id get them every month, but then i found out thats not even really getting your period. before i was on birth control they were irregular to say the least, and now since ive been off the pill i havnt had a period (since august). i think the longerst ive gone without one was about 6 months. i tried to tell my vagina doctor they were really irregular but she was just kinda like "meh thats normal"

i guess i should go back and be like seriously lady somethings not working right. i hate the gyno though. last time i went to her she made me cry. shes a mean lady :(

[hitmonlee]

i dated a guy with a kid but broke up with him before i had to meet the kid.

kids scare teh fuck out of me.

being an aunty will really help though. im sure i can love my own DNA.

[paul jones]

i dated a guy with a kid but broke up with him before i had to meet the kid.

kids scare teh fuck out of me.

being an aunty will really help though. im sure i can love my own DNA.

If I ever become a father I would call it DNA.Silent D

People would say 'Is that your kid?'

I could go 'NA'

[de-nice]

BABIES!!!!

Trust me, Fathership and Mothership (Mothership?) are not hard.

What I am most concerned about is that those of us who are educated and have values (values?) wait... yes that's us, are lothe to reproduce but yet the less educated and less enlightened are reproducing without consequence. We are, in a sense, 'dumbing down' our DNA as a species. The children we choose and educate responsibly are going to have to control all of the irresponsible, uneducated, annoying people who think that raising a baby is a status symbol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:mad:

[de-nice]

Ahhhhhh,

Just on my soapbox. Those of you with 120+ IQs multiply!!!!!

Those of you who are offended by this message, and those of you who can't understand this message, I will suggest that if you ever get pregnant with your partner HAVE AN ABORTION.

I am a vegitarian, have been since I was 17 and have managed my life quite effectively. I've seen too much child abuse and neglect in my short time here on Earth to break my heart thoroughly.

Girls- please think!!!!!!!!!!!


d

[TurdBerglar]

vegeterianism fights child abuse!

[insertnamehere]

what does your being a vegetarian have to do with anything?

and as for saying people with high IQs should reproduce, you have to realize that's not the only factor in being a good parent and raising your child correctly. i'm not gonna make any claims as to my IQ because i don't consider all the freebie online IQ things to be exactly valid, but i'd be pretty comfortable saying that i have above average intelligence. at least when it comes to answering IQ test type questions. that being said, i do some pretty idiotic shit sometimes and due to a number of reasons that i wont go into, i dont expect i'll make much of myself, in the traditional being successful kind of template, and i figure i'd be a pretty horrible parent (see above post)

you're right that people of a much lower SES reproduce waaay too much, but that's not necessarily IQ related. i think it has to do more with money than IQ. also, emotional development and stability are more important factors than actual intelligence.

[-T-]

Yeah I agree to many idiots reproduce.

Having a above average IQ will not make you a good parent, thats ridiculous to say. Its common sense. Like INH says there are many other more important factors. Immature people with no grasp on life should not have babies. That has nothing to do with there IQ's. They could be a fucking genius. I am not disagreeing on having "good" values.

I have met plenty of people who are smart on paper but suck at life.

[Yetra Flam]

of course only stupid people reproduce. dumb sluts who think shitting out kids is a walk in the park then neglect them, girls who want to trap guys into relationships, careless people who have lots of unprotected sex, people that do it for the money.

[cosmo105]

or maybe it's about a lack of opportunity and resources for birth control or sex education and not just "values" and "vegitarianism"

seriously, what a dumbass, offensive and ridiculous response. you're making intelligent vegetarians look bad.

what a maroon :rolleyes:

[DandyFop]

Girls- please think!!!!!!!!!!!



wouldn't hurt guys to think once in a while either

[Yetra Flam]

vegetarians do tend to be annoying

[Randetica]

having a husband and one or more babies is all i want in life

[ms.peachy]

I'd tell you this whole marriage and child(ren) thing isn't all it's cracked up to be, but I'd be lying. It is pretty great. Of course, it may not be everyone's cup of tea, and that's fine too. But I'm diggin' it.

[insertnamehere]

people that do it for the money.

people have kids for money? last i checked having kids was fucking expensive. a lot of it leads to lack of education, although there is a good deal of lack of responsibility. absinance only education doesn't help matters. kids need to know how to use various forms of contraceptives, cause they're gonna fuckin have sex whether you teach them how to not get pregnant or not.

i doooo want a hubby. i can agree on that point at least. someone to stick with through thick and thin, love, support, and all that jazz. and i figure more than likely my husband will want kids, cause most people do, and i'll probably end up having one for that reason. preferably just one though. whenever i see some lady in public dragging around a 3 year old and a 1 year old i cant help but think wow that must suck. but i'd be happy if it was just me and my wonderful husband and a couple of dogs. he has to like dogs. HAS. TO. has to? hm. i never write that phrase out. it looks kinda weird. he has to go to the store tomorrow. i have to. he has. yeah, ok. im good now.

[Medellia]

My grandpa is dying of cancer right now. He got really sick a couple of weeks ago, and we weren't sure he would live through the night, and all I could think was "okay, I want to get married and have a baby."

Guess death will do that to you. :(

[TurdBerglar]

having more babies just means there's more things that could die

[Yetra Flam]

people have kids for money? last i checked having kids was fucking expensive. a lot of it leads to lack of education, although there is a good deal of lack of responsibility. absinance only education doesn't help matters. kids need to know how to use various forms of contraceptives, cause they're gonna fuckin have sex whether you teach them how to not get pregnant or not.


in aus they give you $3000 for each kid i believe. and the 14 year olds that have them don't seem to realise the cost of raising a child and think that with that amount of money they can buy heaps of shit.

[Medellia]

Was that directed at me? If it was, yeah, I guess so, but hopefully I wouldn't have to live through. Also, I read an article about how a death in the family tends to bring out the maternal longings in women.

Don't ask me where that's from though, it was years ago. I can kinda see why though. On some subconscious level, a woman might think "right, tat person will be gone soon, will have to replace them." Anyway, was just a momentary thing. I used to work in a toy store for fuck's sake. I'm not having kids anytime soon.

[Medellia]

in aus they give you $3000 for each kid i believe. and the 14 year olds that have them don't seem to realise the cost of raising a child and think that with that amount of money they can buy heaps of shit.

I think people in the US military get more for every kid they have. I have an uncle in the air force that has almost ten. I'm really not sure how many, even my grandmother has lost count.