so i'm freaking out about being a lady

[Yetra Flam]

since i've been here, my aunt has basically been giving me a long-going makeover. she's been bringing out all of these pairs of expensive high heels for me to wear, and shit, i literally cannot walk in a pair of high heels, i never have. she's taking me to all these expensive clothing stores, and making me wear all these dressy dresses. she took me to get a pedicure and is scheduling me for an eyebrow threading. oh and also i'm supposed to go to a gym. i didn't think i was that out of shape until recently. shit, i'm a massive fucking tomboy and it's like i'm not allowed to do that anymore unless i'm a lesbian.
it's exhausting and freaking me out, but i'm a guest in her house still so i can't really say no to it. there have been times where i am genuinely distressed and upset. this isn't me, and i've kinda hinted that. it's making me feel that i wasn't a legitimate female before. i don't really want to sit and watch sex and the city and discuss "boys," and how i'm supposed to get them to want me.
but yeah, i'm a guest in her house and i'm very thankful and incredibly lucky to have this opportunity. just this whole makeover shit is freaking me out and basically making me feel like shit.

[TurdBerglar]

well don't you want that sophisticated new york bussiness suit guy?

[Yetra Flam]

no.

[TurdBerglar]

well good thing because they like the ladies

[Yetra Flam]

i want to play xbox and wear sweatpants and eat

[TurdBerglar]

and stink a little?

[taquitos]

Butt Hash: The Only Solution (http://www.quazen.com/Recreation/Drugs/Butt-Hash-The-Waste-High.57504)

[Yetra Flam]

thank you, that didn't quite gross me out enough the first time.

[b i o n i c]

we gotta go catch a drink sometime. you dont even have to comb your hair if you dont want to

[Yetra Flam]

whereabouts are you at?

[Randetica]

thats stupid

that she lets you live at her home doesnt give her the right to change shit about you

buy her some barbie dolls to style

youre not her ownage unless youre into that

[b i o n i c]

10 minutes outta manhattan in queens

[ms.peachy]

Think of it as an opportunity to try out being a different character, like playing a part in a play or something. You never know, you might even find out things that you like. I'm not suggesting that you will become this complete other glamour queen person, but you might just realise something like, "hey actually, my eyes do look rather nice with my eyebrows shaped a bit", or, "you know, wrap dresses are pretty comfortable and do flatter my figure."

Or you know, you might not. But why not give it a try?

(I hear you about the heels though; I don't wear them. But in London right now it's all about the "shoe boot", and you can get those with a low (maybe 1 inch) wide heel, which is actually pretty comfortable and easy to wear.)

[venusvenus123]

since i've been here, my aunt has basically been giving me a long-going makeover. she's been bringing out all of these pairs of expensive high heels for me to wear, and shit, i literally cannot walk in a pair of high heels, i never have. she's taking me to all these expensive clothing stores, and making me wear all these dressy dresses. she took me to get a pedicure and is scheduling me for an eyebrow threading. oh and also i'm supposed to go to a gym. i didn't think i was that out of shape until recently. shit, i'm a massive fucking tomboy and it's like i'm not allowed to do that anymore unless i'm a lesbian.
it's exhausting and freaking me out, but i'm a guest in her house still so i can't really say no to it. there have been times where i am genuinely distressed and upset. this isn't me, and i've kinda hinted that. it's making me feel that i wasn't a legitimate female before. i don't really want to sit and watch sex and the city and discuss "boys," and how i'm supposed to get them to want me.
but yeah, i'm a guest in her house and i'm very thankful and incredibly lucky to have this opportunity. just this whole makeover shit is freaking me out and basically making me feel like shit.

welcome to the USA. :rolleyes:

...come to england instead and be free. :p

something i've realised over the years tho... wearing a skirt/dress and high heels doesn't necessarily make you look more feminine than wearing flats and jeans. it's just a uniform. plus, high heels turn your feet into ugly things.... so do ill-fitting shoes :\

anyway, what peachy said. i'd love for someone to pay for me to have pedicures and discover what having my eyebrows threaded felt like. you can still be a tomboy and have pretty feet.

[AceFace]

i'm not quite sure what having your eyebrows threaded means. is that a brow wax you're talking about?

girl, auntie should know you can get any dude you want with that accent, who needs heels!? ;)

[Bob]

welcome to the USA. :rolleyes:

...come to england instead and be free. :p

yes, americans are notoriously obsessed with sophistication. fleeing to england will help

[MC Moot]

A woman who does not belong in heels,walking in heels...that's kind of a turn on....edumacating Rita stylez....:o

[Yetra Flam]

that doesn't make sense

[MC Moot]

sure it does,pretty yet awkward women,you know....

[Freebasser]

She's a lady.

Woahohohooooo, she's a lady!

[Planetary]

http://candygourlay.com/homesweetshed/images/little_britain.jpg

[Planetary]

>.<

[Planetary]

man i fucked that up...

[cookiepuss]

I will go in your stead to get the eyebrow threading thing done. I have really been wanting to have that done, but I haven't found a place around here that does it.

[Yetra Flam]

i didn't think i was that hairy to need professional help dealing with my facial hair :/
oh and yeah, i am the clumsiest awkwardest person in the world. i can see how it is genuinely funny watching me trying to walk in heels

[DandyFop]

Have you tried saying to her that it makes you uncomfortable?

Give it a good honest try, I don't know how long you've been there, but then at least you can say, hey this really isn't for me. I appreciate all you are doing for me, but I am feel awkward and don't feel I can be myself in these clothes, etc.

[Yetra Flam]

i've said "this really isn't me" and "i don't know about this," but there's only so amount of times i can say that before i sound rude.
it's not only the totally new beauty treatment experiences that are freaking me out, it's the mentality of "oh shit, i live in ny now and i have to do all these things to keep up with the rest of the female population"

[Documad]

It's so sweet that she's spending time and money on you. She's just misdirecting her efforts.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. There are plenty of attractive, feminine women, who are never going to wear heels. But everyone can learn some helpful new tricks. I know that I could use some help being more tactful -- not necessarily more feminine but kinder when the situation calls for it.

Try to swallow hard and put up with it a while longer. With you living on the other end of the world for your whole life, maybe she's feeling guilty about not having spent enough time with you and she's trying to make up for that in an inappropriate way.

P.S. I'd love to have my aunt pay for pedicures and watch Sex and the City with me, but no heels. :)

[Yetra Flam]

i feel like i'm being really ungrateful now. i seriously do appreciate everything she's done for me so much. she has been a total lifesaver for me.
who knows, i might become a feminine female somewhere down the track. i will have to learn how to stop tripping over and bumping into things.

[Documad]

You have no reason to feel bad! You've made clear that you appreciate what she's doing for you, she's just going a bit too far. Women of a certain age think they know better and women of a certain age from the american east coast aren't shy about sharing their information, whether you want it or not.

Even when you actually ask someone to help you, sometimes it hurts your feelings to be told that you have things you could work on. I asked a friend to give me advice on what to do with my living room. I wanted advice on whether I should move furniture around and maybe get a new floor lamp. She ended up picking apart everything and she made me feel like I have been living in a real dump. It pissed me off and I got defensive. :p

[ms.peachy]

You've been through an awful lot in the past year or so. I think maybe part of what you're feeling (which is being brought to the surface by this whole experience with your aunt) has to do with the fact that you are entering a whole new realm of your adult life, and naturally you might be having some ambivalence about that. I dunno, I may be totally wrong. But possibly you're in at a place in your life where you are having to let go some of your more 'youth oriented' aspects of your personality. Which can be a bit sad and a bit frightening. Know this, though: being a woman is far more powerful than being a girl.

Long term it is, of course, no good to have you all dressed up and plucked and coiffed and manicured and all the rest of it, if nothing on the outside matches the person you feel you are on the inside - you will look and feel a fraud. But you have an excellent opportunity right now to try and bring the two together, so why not have a go? I don't think you are being ungrateful - I think you're just still trying to work out how you feel about all of this, and that's totally OK - at least you are open to the experience.

btw: eyebrows - it's not a matter of 'hairiness', it's a matter of shape.

[Yetra Flam]

i just don't want to get into the mind frame where i have to be stressed out about all these beauty regimens to make sure i look my best 100% of the time.

[ms.peachy]

i just don't want to get into the mind frame where i have to be stressed out about all these beauty regimens to make sure i look my best 100% of the time.

Yeah, that's true. But I think at the end of the day, that's not your personality to begin with, so it's not likely to happen. Really you just want to educate yourself a bit about what cuts of clothes best suit your figure, what colours flatter your skin and hair, and how to throw together a range of outfits. Just a skill set you can draw on, so you can dress down or dress up or whatever, but still look 'together', you know?

[Documad]

i just don't want to get into the mind frame where i have to be stressed out about all these beauty regimens to make sure i look my best 100% of the time.

You don't. You're not going to be under her wing all the time. You can learn things that you like and that work for you and you'll retain them. Other things are going to be a bad fit for you and you will never adopt them.

I tried to wear lipstick for years. I just can't do it. I like doing my eyes because I like the way it makes me feel. I like taking care of my skin. But I never wear anything except chapstick on my lips.

You don't have to look any particular way. But if you're out and talking to people who might offer you a job or who might help you find a place to live, etc., it's helpful if you look clean and put together--not fancy or girly. A good outfit that doesn't make you look dumpy can send the message that you're not lazy. For me, it also puts my head in a better place. If I wear even a simple blazer instead of just a sweater, I feel more confident and businesslike. That's why my office has a dress code.

Once you know what you like, you don't have to put much time into getting ready everyday. You can throw on your nice black slacks and a shirt that fits you properly and you're ready to go.

P.S. Ms. Peachy is super smart.

[RobMoney$]

it's the mentality of "oh shit, i live in ny now and i have to do all these things to keep up with the rest of the female population"

I'd imagine NYC is probably one of the best places in the world to "find yourself".
Whoever you are, there's like minded people somewhere in NY. You just need to find your own scene of people I guess. You don't need to keep up with anyone.

[RobMoney$]

welcome to the USA. :rolleyes:

...come to england instead and be free. :p


You don't have to hate our entire country just because Mayweather beat Hatton's ass.

We don't like Mayweather either.

[TurdBerglar]

It's so sweet that she's spending time and money on you. She's just misdirecting her efforts.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. There are plenty of attractive, feminine women, who are never going to wear heels. But everyone can learn some helpful new tricks. I know that I could use some help being more tactful -- not necessarily more feminine but kinder when the situation calls for it.

Try to swallow hard and put up with it a while longer. With you living on the other end of the world for your whole life, maybe she's feeling guilty about not having spent enough time with you and she's trying to make up for that in an inappropriate way.

P.S. I'd love to have my aunt pay for pedicures and watch Sex and the City with me, but no heels. :)


hahaha

swallow hard

hahaha



that solves all problems, zorra

swallow

[Yetra Flam]

there's no way i can respond to that without sounding slutty.

[TurdBerglar]

yeah because one needs to be atleast somewhat feminine to be slutty

[venusvenus123]

You don't have to hate our entire country just because Mayweather beat Hatton's ass.

We don't like Mayweather either.

i thought you were talking about the presidential elections for a moment.

i wish i could vote for obama or hillary. :(

[jabumbo]

i have a hard time believing you here, susan...

[Yetra Flam]

i think i already have a date, so who is the man? i am the motherfucking man!

[TurdBerglar]

don't let your aunt and cousin get you all paranoid

[Yetra Flam]

of what? me getting lost in the hood?

[TurdBerglar]

of being all concerned about how to present yourself to "get the boy"

[Yetra Flam]

oh well jeez, if i could get his attention being my clumsy and dishevelled self, i'm not going to change a thing about myself.

[TurdBerglar]

if you think that then this whole fucking thread was pointless...

[Yetra Flam]

no it wasn't. i'm still feeling neurotic. you know me.