can interest be mistaken for games?

[hitmonlee]

is he playing it cool, or simply not that into me?

a question people of both genders ask (i assume, obv with genders reversed).

does game playing come with age, or is it just something people do.

at what point do you decide it's a all been a game and you lost? if every fibre of your being feels they were being truthful, how can you disregard that when your brain is telling you not to waste your time.

[Yetra Flam]

man, i hate that game, pretending to be all cool even if you're really into someone just so you don't look desperate or whatever. i much prefer it when guys make their interest clear. not in a sleazy creepy way, but a respectful way. you know what i'm saying?

fuck the games, seriously

[Helvete]

Yeah, fuck the games! Stop playing games with me!

[hitmonlee]

oh i forgot to mention he is only 22 so i'm wondering if maybe that's how they operate?

i'm old.

i'm betting yetra's is probably bang on the moneyyy

edit: i wonder if the games only exist in my head

[Yetra Flam]

yeah i think a guy that age thinks he's totally got the whole "game" down. is he showing any sorts of signs of interest at all? if not, fuck that shit.

[abcdefz]

I'd say you're contributing by not making your interest known. Why does the guy always have to risk rejection?

Somebody's gotta step up or you're just fucking with your own mind.

[Kid Presentable]

If you shagged him he's probably keeping you at arms length to either be able to drop you fast when something else comes along, or be able to reach you when nothing does.

[Yetra Flam]

I'd say you're contributing by not making your interest known. Why does the guy always have to risk rejection?

Somebody's gotta step up or you're just fucking with your own mind.

i know i sound really old fashioned and completely anti-progressive, but i kinda like it when the guy steps up

[hitmonlee]

yeah i think a guy that age thinks he's totally got the whole "game" down. is he showing any sorts of signs of interest at all? if not, fuck that shit.

the reason i still have faith is i know he said to his girlfriends that he was interested, he made sure several times that it was not a one night stand (not that it actually happened - alcohol) and then made the effort to get my number when i was giving him an out by running out the door before discussing it...
sms ratio is about even, but prob more initated by me, but always replies, but they are a little not openended... neither are mine i guess, but i am making an effort (but im scared of making too much effort). was meant to see him at daft punk but he was too drunk to go. stupid kids.

I'd say you're contributing by not making your interest known. Why does the guy always have to risk rejection?

Somebody's gotta step up or you're just fucking with your own mind.

i did, i sent the first sms and suggested meeting up soon. he said he'd contact me tomorrow... he didnt so i didnt reply, on sat he sent me a msg saying sorry he had tonsilitis all week and was only just recovering and what time wasni going to daft punk... bit hard to show him im intersted when hes passing out in the street.

:o

[abcdefz]

i know i sound really old fashioned and completely anti-progressive, but i kinda like it when the guy steps up



Then you get to ask yourself "what might have been?"

Best girlfriend I ever had in my entire life initiated things. I was so awed by her there's no way I thought I was worthy of her. If she
hadn't started things, nothing would've ever happened.

Just sayin'.

She didn't have to take the lead after that, but I definitely had to have the go ahead first.

[Yetra Flam]

pssh fuck sms, he should be all calling you and shit

[hitmonlee]

If you shagged him he's probably keeping you at arms length to either be able to drop you fast when something else comes along, or be able to reach you when nothing does.

no actual shag just attempted drunk nothing. does that count?

abcdefz: i've been the initiator a number of times. if the guy isnt picking up the signals i get impatient.

[abcdefz]

i did, i sent the first sms and suggested meeting up soon. he said he'd contact me tomorrow... he didnt so i didnt reply, on sat he sent me a msg saying sorry he had tonsilitis all week and was only just recovering and what time wasni going to daft punk... bit hard to show him im intersted when hes passing out in the street.

:o



I'd say actions speak louder than words. Next time you talk, make a definite date. If it doesn't happen, he's either not
really that interested or he's an unreliable flake that you're better off not wasting energy on.

Respect yourself. (y)

[abcdefz]

abcdefz: i've been the initiator a number of times. if the guy isnt picking up the signals i get impatient.



"Signals" are games. Be direct.

With "signals," the question is still hanging. If you're direct, at least it's out in the open and at least you're behaving like an adult
on your end.

[jabumbo]

She didn't have to take the lead after that, but I definitely had to have the go ahead first.

thats sort of the spot that i've been in



but man, i've got no game to play, so i wouldnt know

[hitmonlee]

"Signals" are games. Be direct.

With "signals," the question is still hanging. If you're direct, at least it's out in the open and at least you're behaving like an adult
on your end.

i think i'll give him a week then get direct

cheers for advice all :)

[Yetra Flam]

set your standards high!

[Kid Presentable]

no actual shag just attempted drunk nothing. does that count?



If he hasn't slid you the peen yet, I'd say he's probably still interested. Don't listen to me, I'm just being a dick

[Randetica]

i know i sound really old fashioned and completely anti-progressive, but i kinda like it when the guy steps up

absolutely.

[Yetra Flam]

seriously.

i'm beginning to think that it's just australian guys.

[abcdefz]

Oh -- it's summer for you right now, isn't it?

Nice.

[Helvete]

I only really clicked this thread thinking it was about videogames.

[tracky]

If you shagged him he's probably keeping you at arms length to either be able to drop you fast when something else comes along, or be able to reach you when nothing does.

word

[DandyFop]

Do you love me?
Are you playing your love games with me?
I just wanna know what to do cause I need your love a lot, a come on now.

[tracky]

slow down you're moving too fast

[hitmonlee]

i know i sound really old fashioned and completely anti-progressive, but i kinda like it when the guy steps up

i agree with that, but i've found guys are stupid and can't take a hint. whether that hint is "hey i like you" or "fuck off and leave me alone", they never get it and you have to spell it out for them.

[tracky]

Well we're not mind readers :rolleyes:

[Yetra Flam]

they should be all like "i wanna hold you"

[scotty]

was meant to see him at daft punk but he was too drunk to go. stupid kids.

If he's not keen enough to stay off the piss for a few hours, then I'd wipe the bastard. I know its only early, but thats when you should be making the best impression, I don't care how old you are.

[Yetra Flam]

ask a magic eightball. they're always right. :(

[Yetra Flam]

seriously, mine said "outlook not so good." isn't that enough to just completely depress you?

[hitmonlee]

maybe

MAYBE

what kind of pissweak answer is that? i'm gonna rephrase.

edit: ok i asked a diff question and it said NO WAY. i think that's good enough for me.

WOOOO SUMMER HOOK UPS

[TurdBerglar]

this constant worrying is what turns guys away

[Kid Presentable]

Or attracts them, like sharks.

[DandyFop]

this constant worrying is what turns guys away

Yes this is probably the NUMERO UNO thing I've learned about guys.

With my current boyfriend, he's showed me that he's really into me. So I don't get paranoid and crazy like usual (once in a while it pops up, but in general I'm alright).

Honestly, hitmonlee, all that bullshit about "he's just not that into you" is true. If he wants to go out, he'll ask you. If it's too much to wait for, why not ask him to hang out some time?

[russhie]

Jesus Christ, boyfriends are overrated. I wish mine would just get fucked right now.

Guys, really, who gives a shit about how much they like you. They exist to make like difficult while pretending that they're easy to please, all the while telling you that you're the one with the problem. As if.

Short answer: go fuck a bunch of hotties. Screw this idiot.

[TurdBerglar]

(young)guys don't hold relationships nearly as important as females do that's why it may seem they don't put as much effort into them. the best way to please a guy is to chill the fuck out. a guy's main goal in life is to be relaxed as possible and you females just don't seem to know how to relax very well. guys avoid drama at all costs. and when drama turns up they do whatever it takes to eliminate it or ignore it.

all guys want out of a relationship is a girl that they find sexually attractive and doesn't piss them off too much and can maybe hold a converstation with, in that order. and i think this is what guys expect everyone wants including females. but you females seem to want a whole lot more than that.


these are all generalizations

[abcdefz]

^

That's pretty darned accurate.

Nicely done, Turd. (y)

[Yetra Flam]

my mind just automatically goes into worrying mode, especially with an unanswered phone call, or an unreturned text. the first thing i think is "ok, he obviously hates me for some reason that i don't know and he's probably already found someone else."

[russhie]

Look, I think for the most part, chicks get that guys don't want drama. Duh.

It's just that pandering to this 'relaxed' approach to relationships leads to laziness, inattentiveness and a general lack of effort. I've been 'the chilled out girlfriend' for the best part of a fucking decade, and trust me, it comes back to bite you in the arse.

If guys think girls need to chill the fuck out, then guys need to get a clue, too.

[TurdBerglar]

guys have the clue they just don't care

[hitmonlee]

(young)guys don't hold relationships nearly as important as females do that's why it may seem they don't put as much effort into them. the best way to please a guy is to chill the fuck out. a guy's main goal in life is to be relaxed as possible and you females just don't seem to know how to relax very well. guys avoid drama at all costs. and when drama turns up they do whatever it takes to eliminate it or ignore it.

all guys want out of a relationship is a girl that they find sexually attractive and doesn't piss them off too much and can maybe hold a converstation with, in that order. and i think this is what guys expect everyone wants including females. but you females seem to want a whole lot more than that.


these are all generalizations

you've just described the last 2 guys i've dated. its not a gender thing.

[russhie]

guys have the clue they just don't care

Then they don't deserve shit. Easy.

[abcdefz]

Look, I think for the most part, chicks get that guys don't want drama. Duh.

It's just that pandering to this 'relaxed' approach to relationships leads to laziness, inattentiveness and a general lack of effort. I've been 'the chilled out girlfriend' for the best part of a fucking decade, and trust me, it comes back to bite you in the arse.

If guys think girls need to chill the fuck out, then guys need to get a clue, too.


I don't think "relaxed" equals "inattentive" at all.

Just because a guy isn't stroking some girl's neediness 24/7 doesn't mean he's being inattentive.

[TurdBerglar]

Then they don't deserve shit. Easy.

then walk away