how long can you tolerate your inlaw staying with you?

[ericlee]

two weeks max is fine enough for me but 5 months or longer? Nope. My situation is my wife's mom is here from China and has been since October and she was supposed to stay for five months with intentions on gettin a job.

Cool, she got a job taking care of an elderly lady and she stays at her house during the weekdays on comes over to our place on Saturday and she has been leaving to go back to work on Sunday afternoon.

That worked out well, the wife and I share Saturdays off so we can spend time with her mom together and my wife works on Sundays which is my off day and being that my inlaw went back to work on Sunday afternoon, that was my time alone, apartment to myself day so I can do my recordings or have a friend over.

Now, my inlaw has been staying at our place till 9pm and then going to work which leaves me no time for anything. I can't even watch a movie in my livingroom cause she's in there watching her shows and by the time she leaves, my wife is home from work so, I have no time for recording either. You kinda like your privacy when recording.

And now, I'm told that my inlaw is probably gonna stay for an additional 5 months. I brought it to my wife's attention that its good and all that her Mom is here making good money but I have no privacy to do anything. We live in a small one bedroom apartment. The kitchen is in the living room just to let you know how small it is.

Anyhow, my wife tells me that on Sundays her mom has no where to go. I can understand that but, people need their space.

[Helvete]

Move out!

[Waus]

Wow, that's a dilemma. :/

I hope your wife can see your side of it, I'm sure it'd be a much better thing if you were working together to find a solution instead of arguing over whether there's a problem.

[checkyourprez]

get a guy to wack her off.

[RobMoney$]

Maybe she could try exploring the unbelievably awesome and entertaining city she's in.
I would love to be able to spend Sunday afternoons exploring all NYC has to offer. She could do that every sunday afternoon for the rest of her days and still probably never do the same thing twice.

[ericlee]

Wow, that's a dilemma. :/

I hope your wife can see your side of it, I'm sure it'd be a much better thing if you were working together to find a solution instead of arguing over whether there's a problem.

Good thing is we havent argued for a while cause of counceling and she's taking meds. We can actually talk now.

I told her that even if it were my mom, two weeks would be max. My mom even agrees and we have a great relationship.

If we had the new house now, there would be plenty room but that wont be till mid March and this place we're in is way too small.

[venusvenus123]

wow, as you and your wife have been having hard times, that's harsh.

i had mine stay for almost a week in the summer and it was pretty unbearable-- given that it was an emergency when my husband went into hospital and... even he doesn't want to be in her company for more than a couple of hours.

aaaanyway, i guess at least she's at this job most of the week, but her staying all day sunday when your wife isn't there isn't on! that's your down time. good luck with sorting it out. :(

[marsdaddy]

I guess the question is how does your wife feel about her mom being there?

[Dorothy Wood]

*starts writing sitcom pilot about ericlee's life*

[ericlee]

I guess the question is how does your wife feel about her mom being there?

She's happy that she's there and they can see each other. She also knows how I feel but there's not much to do about it.

Man, I'm miserable.

[milleson]

I'll trade you one German cousin-in-law for your Chinese mother-in-law. Ours showed up (quite) unexpectedly and is staying until Feb 28, 2008.

[ericlee]

I'll trade you one German cousin-in-law for your Chinese mother-in-law. Ours showed up (quite) unexpectedly and is staying until Feb 28, 2008.

Deal. At least you know when they're leaving. And it's three months away. My inlaw is staying till when, March? April?

She's now staying over till wedensday cause of Christmas. My wife just now told me this.

Oh brother. My tooth is killing me too. My gum is swollen and I'd better see the dentist tomorrow cause I'd like to eat without wanting to cry during every chew. I imagine I'll get good pain pills and I can't flop on my own couch tomorrow and watch Star Wars again while buzzing.

Gah! Can anything else happen? If so, please do now.

[ampm]

two weeks max is fine enough for me but 5 months or longer? Nope. My situation is my wife's mom is here from China and has been since October and she was supposed to stay for five months with intentions on gettin a job.

Cool, she got a job taking care of an elderly lady and she stays at her house during the weekdays on comes over to our place on Saturday and she has been leaving to go back to work on Sunday afternoon.

That worked out well, the wife and I share Saturdays off so we can spend time with her mom together and my wife works on Sundays which is my off day and being that my inlaw went back to work on Sunday afternoon, that was my time alone, apartment to myself day so I can do my recordings or have a friend over.

Now, my inlaw has been staying at our place till 9pm and then going to work which leaves me no time for anything. I can't even watch a movie in my livingroom cause she's in there watching her shows and by the time she leaves, my wife is home from work so, I have no time for recording either. You kinda like your privacy when recording.

And now, I'm told that my inlaw is probably gonna stay for an additional 5 months. I brought it to my wife's attention that its good and all that her Mom is here making good money but I have no privacy to do anything. We live in a small one bedroom apartment. The kitchen is in the living room just to let you know how small it is.

Anyhow, my wife tells me that on Sundays her mom has no where to go. I can understand that but, people need their space.


I wouldn't wish Ericlee's life on Toucan Spam.
.

[mikizee]

That blows.

I can't offer any constructive advice I'm afraid.

When I was with my missus the max time I could handle was 2 maybe 3 days max.

You are in a whole nother league.

[Bob]

That blows.

I can't offer any constructive advice I'm afraid.

When I was with my missus the max time I could handle was 2 maybe 3 days max.

You are in a whole nother league.

you were married?

[hitmonlee]

Now, my inlaw has been staying at our place till 9pm and then going to work which leaves me no time for anything. I can't even watch a movie in my livingroom cause she's in there watching her shows and by the time she leaves, my wife is home from work so, I have no time for recording either. You kinda like your privacy when recording.

you don't sound very assertive.
why don't you say "hey i've got this movie i've really been looking forward to watching, do you mind if i watch it now?"
offer her a book to read or something.

[mikizee]

you were married?

All but the piece of paper.

[hitmonlee]

Maybe she could try exploring the unbelievably awesome and entertaining city she's in.
I would love to be able to spend Sunday afternoons exploring all NYC has to offer. She could do that every sunday afternoon for the rest of her days and still probably never do the same thing twice.

i was gonna suggest that but i remember ericlee saying that his wife wouldn't even walk home from the train station alone - perhaps MIL is similar?

[ericlee]

you don't sound very assertive.
why don't you say "hey i've got this movie i've really been looking forward to watching, do you mind if i watch it now?"
offer her a book to read or something.

I'd better brush up on my Chinese then. She wouldn't understand a word I tell her.

And for rob's reply, its a great idea but then I'd feel like I'm kickin her out of the house and it's pretty cold out.

My main thing is my recording. I really don't wish to have an audience when I'm trying to sing. I've had a song on my recorder for two weeks now with no chance to finish it cause she's here. That is primarily what my Sundays were for.

I finally got all the recording equipment needed so I wouldn't have to go to the studio and spend more cash and it's just sitting there.

I tried talking to my wife a little more about it and it almost became an argument so I just left it alone.

I suppose I just need to suck it up and act like I have no choice in this matter. It's not like she has to stay in the states that long. She has work in China and a husband. I don't see how he can cope with her being gone for almost a year(if she extends her stay, which most likely she will). Also my wife is going to visit them next year too so, its not like they will never see each other again.

[hitmonlee]

if she doesn't speak english - what shows is she watching?

i don't think you need to suck anything up - you already are. how about some other people compromise here?

[marsdaddy]

I tried talking to my wife a little more about it and it almost became an argument so I just left it alone...

...She has work in China and a husband. I don't see how he can cope with her being gone for almost a year(if she extends her stay, which most likely she will). Also my wife is going to visit them next year too so, its not like they will never see each other again.Anyone else thinking the women of ericlee's spouse's family have issues about how they treat men?:confused:

[ericlee]

if she doesn't speak english - what shows is she watching?

i don't think you need to suck anything up - you already are. how about some other people compromise here?

we have Chinese channels on the tv and also there's about 500 Chinese series on dvd that could take up to 4 years to watch. I was sitting there trying to watch one and a lady kept saying "meow meow" like every minute through two episodes and I'm not sure if that's a character's name or if they were doing a Super Troopers skit.

She's a real nice lady and Ive got no problems with her. It's just one day that i want to myself with noone in the house. She can stay all during the week while I work and it wouldn't bother me.

When we get the new place, she can stay till whenever she wants but, oh what to do in the meantime...

This kinda blows and I almost feel selfish for feeling the way I do but I really feel like I should feel like this.

[ericlee]

Anyone else thinking the women of ericlee's spouse's family have issues about how they treat men?:confused:

Actually from what I gather from my wife, the men treat the ladies pretty rough. I've kinda seen it while over there. Not in her family but just by walking around.

Haha. I'm a victim of revenge.

[marsdaddy]

My kid is learning Mandarin and is pretty demanding for a 5 year old, so maybe he can tell her to "get out" for a couple of hours on Sundays so you can do your thing.

[ericlee]

My kid is learning Mandarin and is pretty demanding for a 5 year old, so maybe he can tell her to "get out" for a couple of hours on Sundays so you can do your thing.

It's, I'm not sure of the proper spelling but, get out is pronounced "gwin". I dont know how to say for a couple hours though.

I think I should have my wife sit down with us and have her translate what I think. Maybe that will work.

[abcdefz]

I'd rather be an outlaw than an in-law to you.