Through the wire

[hardnox71]

I went to the hospital this morning thinking I was finally gonna be freed of all this shit in my mouth that has had me wired shut for the last six weeks.

The 'zip-a-dee-do-da' mood I woke up in this morning was shot to hell when the doctor removed only the wires holding my jaws together and then proceeded to tell me that I will have to be scheduled for another appointment to remove the metal tracks that are screwed into my gums. Zip-a-dee-do-da was replaced with "OH, HELL NAW!!!" Doctor says that they are really backed up and there really is no way around it. I will have to be rescheduled. Even though this shit is cutting into my gums and cheeks, at least I can open my mouth now and start eating solid food again, I think to myself. Alright, fine. Fuck it. Reschedule me. What can a week or two more hurt?

The lady beind the desk looks at a computer screen trying to figure when she can schedule me next and then she hands me my appointment slip for MAY 2, 2008!!

I kid you not when I say I went absolutely apeshit. She says if I don't calm down she will call hospital security. I tell her I don't give a fuck. Go ahead, call securtiy, call the police, call fucking Ghostbusters, bitch. I don't care. I want to speak to someone else about this matter. So after about ten minutes of fucking arguing with her I finally get a hold of my doctor. I ask him why he just didn't take all that shit out of my mouth at once. He tells me that they are really booked up as far as this procedure is concerned and really pressed for time and May 2 is the next available date that they can get me in. Apparantly half the population of Chicago has their mouths wired shut and I'm at the bottom of the list.:rolleyes: So I ask him how long it's gonna take to get the rest of this shit out of my mouth and he says twenty minutes.

I go apeshit again.

Why the fuck do I have to wait three months for a twenty minute procedure? Christ, I've spent almost twenty minutes raising hell with you and your receptionist. You could have been doing it then. Tells me to call in every Thurs and Fri (because apparantly those are the only days they do this particular shit, how fucking stupid is that?) at noon to see if there are any cancellations. If there are then they can get me in.

Un fucking believeable.

[Videodrome]

that's shitty. i feel your pain.

[b i o n i c]

if its such a simple, easy thing, have the fuckers refer you to another doctor who can do it. either that or go sit in the waiting room everyday and say you're going to wait for whomever cancels an appointment and you'll be there till someone does. assholes

[hardnox71]

if its such a simple, easy thing, have the fuckers refer you to another doctor who can do it.
Good idea. I've been so busy being pissed off, that didn't even cross my mind. (y)

[adam_f]

When did you get your jaw wired shut, Kanye? If you made a thread, I missed it.

That sucks, man. Sorry to hear that (n)

[b i o n i c]

Good idea. I've been so busy being pissed off, that didn't even cross my mind. (y)


glad i could help someone today. now solve my problems!!!!(y)

[MC Moot]

You know that's lousy,man...sorry to hear...you must have really been looking forward to that...but...berating health care professionals is lame,they work within a shity system and are constantly under fire...you know you got my sympathy but don't shoot,shoot that thing at me....

[hardnox71]

berating health care professionals is lame,they work within a shity system and are constantly under fire....

Yes, they do work in a shitty system and the departments they work in are constantly way understaffed and alot of hospitals are underfunded and therefore are short on a million different things that are needed and I understand that and I understand what you are saying but I don't care what the hell is going on, I still say it does not take three months to perform a twenty minute procedure.

I could see if this was something they had to scrub up for and maybe lay me out on a table again like they did the first time and all that shit but it's not. I have one thin metal track attatched to my upper gum and one attatched to my lower gum. They both wrap around like braces only they are not attatched to my teeth, they are attatched to my jaw bone with little screws in the back by the molars. There are thin wires that hold the track in place by wrapping aroung the track and then weaving in between my teeth and gums. The only thing he did today was remove the wires that wrapped around little hooks on the faces of both tracks and held them together preventing me from opening my mouth. That took literally less than four minutes. I could have done that myself at home over the phone with some wire cutters. I didn't even need to go to the hospital for that bullshit.

Taking the rest of this shit out is nothing big or major. The guy could do it while he was eating lunch.

It's not like I'm waiting for a new liver. I'm just trying to get some screws and some wires yanked.

I got so pissed off because of the absurdity of the whole situation. You don't have twenty minutes right now to get this shit out of my mouth but you have almost fifteen minutes to go back and forth with me about when you will have time to get this shit out of my mouth. WTF?

Besides, see how easily irritable you are after wanting to yawn but can't and not being able to brush inside your mouth, just the outside of your teeth and not being able to talk clearly and having to repeat eveything you say because no one can understand you and having to run around trying to find straws with a diameter big enough to suck pureed ravioli and spaghetti through (Subway and Dunkin Donuts got some pretty good straws). After six weeks of this shit you're almost at your edge and it doesn't take much.

[hardnox71]

When did you get your jaw wired shut, Kanye? If you made a thread, I missed it.

That sucks, man. Sorry to hear that (n)

Thread called Son of a Bitch, That Hurts. I think it's on page 10. I would just drag it over here but I don't know how.

[MC Moot]

Fair enough...after work,I'll swing by with girls eyebrow tweezers,a pair of rusty pliers and a bottle of Crown for dsinfectant/anesthetic...we can work this thing out...(y)

[hardnox71]

Fair enough...after work,I'll swing by with girls eyebrow tweezers,a pair of rusty pliers and a bottle of Crown for dsinfectant/anesthetic...we can work this thing out...(y)

Moot, you're joking but you have no idea how close I am to that right now. I actually though about it on the train leaving the hospital. I said "Fuck it, I'll do it myself."

Probably not a good idea but I just can't see this crap in my mouth for a total of five months (Dec 12-May 2). There is no viable excuse for it. There are people who will have major transplants and life threatening surgeries that will be in and out of the hospital and fully recovered in less than five months.

All I had was a broken jaw.

Shit doesn't make any sense.

[MC Moot]

sorry man...just trying to add some levity...I sincerly regret your pain/hardship...(y)

[hardnox71]

sorry man...just trying to add some levity...I sincerly regret your pain/hardship...(y)

And I appreciate it. I'll get over it. I'm just bitching and complaining and ranting and raving because the irritation is still fresh.

Some people go to the hospital and never leave so I understand my situation could always be worse than what it is and I'm not forgetting that there are people right now in hospitals who wish all they had to worry about were some pieces of metal in their mouths. I fully understand this and am well aware of it.















But I'm still thoroughly fucking pissed right now.

[DandyFop]

Good idea. I've been so busy being pissed off, that didn't even cross my mind. (y)


The usual hardship for unreasonable and rash people.

[hardnox71]

The usual hardship for unreasonable and rash people.

The usual post from unimaginitive and annoying people.

[NoFenders]

Sorry to hear that hardnox. If ya ever need anything let me know. I live in Chicago as well, so if ya want, I can bring over some tools and whiskey. ;)

Seriously though, if ya need somethin let me know.

:cool:

[hardnox71]

Sorry to hear that hardnox. If ya ever need anything let me know. I live in Chicago as well, so if ya want, I can bring over some tools and whiskey. ;)

Seriously though, if ya need somethin let me know.

:cool:

Thanks but I'll live. I'll just never understand it.

I was at Stroger. I know that it faces all of the hazards of being a County hospital in a large city but I the whole three month/twenty minute thing is still blowing me away. I just don't get it.

[NoFenders]

Stroger. Ugh!!! I hate that place. Been there, done that. I walked out of the emergency room after waiting 2 hours all the while blood is pouring out of my head and on to their floor. A security guard handed me a towel to clean it up. I soaked most of it up, and threw the blood soaked rag on the desk. Then said thanks and walked out. Luckilly my roomate was an intern at Loyola and stitched me up. Just wait til Todd Stroger gets his hands on the medical plans.

:cool:

[TurdBerglar]

go to any hospital and you see the doctors just standing around and shooting the shit more than you would see with the fucking schmucks filling in the potholes on your street.