humping inanimate objects

[kaiser soze]

why?

[funk63]

i had a girlfriend who told me about how shed hump the stairs and stuff when she was younger. felt good i guess.

[kaiser soze]

maybe they had shag carpeting?

[funk63]

well she was telling me how she developed early and stuff.
and how she masturbated while riding horses. idk she was kind of a freak

[kaiser soze]

horse women are horny buggers....

I too dated one who developed early and rode horses and was hot to trot

[funk63]

lol really

[Gareth]

might hump the pillow
dick an inch taller

[Waus]

I've always kinda had this suspicion that all equestrian girls are secretly grade A freaks.


I've heard nothing to disprove it.

[Gareth]

remember those rumours about mark todd and his debauched secret life as a promiscious gay cokehead?

[Auton]

might hump the pillow
dick an inch taller

stapleton bum iggin i popped her cherry for her

[Kid Presentable]

remember those rumours about mark todd and his debauched secret life as a promiscious gay cokehead?

Cheah. They can't have been rumours. Dude was as camp as a row of tents. The info that came out was crazy though. Down to the details of him snorting coke off some dude's johnson. This was reported on primetime news, no less!

[mikizee]

maybe they had shag carpeting?

swish!

[Lex Diamonds]

Cheah. They can't have been rumours. Dude was as camp as a row of tents. The info that came out was crazy though. Down to the details of him snorting coke off some dude's johnson. This was reported on primetime news, no less!
I don't get why all these fucked up celebrities snort coke off people's wangs. What's the point? Surely it's a lot of effort to line it up, and there must be a fair bit of wastage. Plus the guy would have to stand extra still. If you want to sniff some guy's dick then just do the line of coke before/after, it will save time and money.

[beastiegirrl101]

a horse isn't an inanimate object.

[kaiser soze]

Which makes it better I guess?

ok, like pillows, blankets, fruits/vegetables and that kind of stuff

weird

[AceFace]

are we talking about sex toys here?
you read my mind crafty!

also. a pillow between the knees during sleep is a GOOOOOOD thing!

[b i o n i c]

the pillow between your legs is just good for aligning your back.

i think the funniest inanimate object humping story i have is of a girl i knew who was made to mow the lawn every week (no dad or bros around). i think she was like 12-13 years old. she leaned on the handle and realized it felt good, so she put the handle between her legs and started humping the lawnmower handle while it was running. when she opened her eyes, her mom was standing there silent with her eyes wide open and her jaw on the floor. she turned around and just went inside without saying a word. they never talked about it again, and her mom never asked her to mow the law anymore.

so if you want to get out mowing the lawn, hump the lawn mower.


...and yes - she was a FREAK

[beastiegirrl101]

the pillow between your legs is just good for aligning your back.

i think the funniest inanimate object humping story i have is of a girl i knew who was made to mow the lawn every week (no dad or bros around). i think she was like 12-13 years old. she leaned on the handle and realized it felt good, so she put the handle between her legs and started humping the lawnmower handle while it was running. when she opened her eyes, her mom was standing there silent with her eyes wide open and her jaw on the floor. she turned around and just went inside without saying a word. they never talked about it again, and her mom never asked her to mow the law anymore.

so if you want to get out mowing the lawn, hump the lawn mower.

...and yes - she was a FREAK

this totally made my day, and I'm having a train wreck of a day. Thanks!

[b i o n i c]

^
:)

this one isnt as good, but maybe you;ll get a little larf:

another girl i knew told me when she was a little kid, maybe 4-6 years old she was running around the house wearing her osh kosh b'gosh overalls, when the back of the suspender parts somehow got caught to the back of the sofa and left her hanging... and left the overalls bunched up you-know-where, rocking her back and forth with a fronty-wedge.

so she said, she used to always ask her mom if she could wear her overalls, because she knew she could play "swingie" ... she said she still wishes she could do it - no one ever caught on. weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[TOY]

I was always jealous of the girls who told me they got off from humping their pillows. My way of doing it is.. Weird. Like fucking a shadow puppet. The butterfly one.

[Yetra Flam]

creepy and messed up

[TOY]

^
:)

this one isnt as good, but maybe you;ll get a little larf:

another girl i knew told me when she was a little kid, maybe 4-6 years old she was running around the house wearing her osh kosh b'gosh overalls, when the back of the suspender parts somehow got caught to the back of the sofa and left her hanging... and left the overalls bunched up you-know-where, rocking her back and forth with a fronty-wedge.

so she said, she used to always ask her mom if she could wear her overalls, because she knew she could play "swingie" ... she said she still wishes she could do it - no one ever caught on. weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

This happens when I wear tight pants every once in a while and am sitting with my legs crossed. But I don't embrace it. :(

I remember a girl from 5th grade who did this constantly during math class. All of the sudden you would see her gyrating at her desk, and everyone would laugh and whisper "LOOK, LOOK!" She was real odd. No. I think she was half-retarded.

[b i o n i c]

creepy and messed up

personally i find the lawn mower story more creepy, thats some serious vibage

[kaiser soze]

I once dated a girl who had a candle for a "companion", thank god I weened her off of it!

I asked what would she do if it broke, melt it out? ouch!

[Randetica]

girls pretty much jump on everything that vibrates

[Lex Diamonds]

Is that why guys with Parkinson's get all the pussy?

[easy 3]

^
another girl i knew told me when she was a little kid, maybe 4-6 years old she was running around the house wearing her osh kosh b'gosh overalls, when the back of the suspender parts somehow got caught to the back of the sofa and left her hanging... and left the overalls bunched up you-know-where, rocking her back and forth with a fronty-wedge.

so she said, she used to always ask her mom if she could wear her overalls, because she knew she could play "swingie" ... she said she still wishes she could do it - no one ever caught on. weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Damn! Is that why dungarees are so popular with lesbian ladies?

I'm so naive.:o

[easy 3]

Humping inanimate objects................does that include my ex?

[Randetica]

guys do those things too in case you didnt know

[kaiser soze]

word