i'm probably the biggest dick i know

[befsquire]

all my stories start with "i got a guy charged with..." and this is no different.

my guy is charged with sexual battery (rape) and falsely personating a law enforcement officer during the commission of a felony. alleged vic tells cops that he got in by claiming he was a LEO, and instead of providing a business card, he called her cell phone. he then told her to do what he said, and she didn't resist because he had a gun on his belt. he rapes her, then leaves. she calls her boyfriend to have him come home. she calls her aunt, who asks for his number and she calls him. so, phone records should show only one call from him to her, then one from the aunt to him.

what she left out: she's an escort. she has hundreds of ads on craigslist. also has ads on findalay.com, hotescortpages, myredbook, orlandobackpages and a few other sites (findalay is my favorite). she uses multiple names and multiple numbers but luckily, many ads feature her cell phone number that she provided police. she failed to mention her aunt is also an escort using the same sites. also forgot to mention she and her aunt have both been arrested twice in prostitution stings. AND, phone records show multiple calls from her to him first that day, plus calls days prior between him, her aunt, etc.

so, i have depositions set on valentine's day of the detective and the alleged vic's boyfriend. earlier in the day, on an unrelated case, i've learned that one of my favorite clients died (young, no COD yet, likely an OD though). so, i'm not in a great mood. me, the state attorney, and the detective on the case (who just learned during my depo that the girl is an escort) all assume that the alleged vic's boyfriend knows she's an escort, and that she's seeing men from out of the home.

you guessed it. he had no idea. he finds out, through me, on valentine's day, that his girl has been having sex for money in his bed while he's at work. happy valentine's day! you're girl's a whore and your child may not be yours!

thus, i am a dick. maybe even a prick.

[HEIRESS]

ick!

[Bob]

nope

you're a lawyer

[Bob]

and i say that lovingly, not accusingly

because i'm a 2L and i'm experienced now

[Bob]

because i'm a 2L and i'm experienced now

and i say that sarcastically, not genuinely, because i don't have my head up my butt

[Bob]

my point is, stories like that are why i couldn't ever do criminal defense type stuff (or prosecution for that matter) and why i respect the people who choose to do it.

[befsquire]

bobby has this joke that goes something like "how can you tell when someone's a lawyer? they'll let you know."

it's true though. sadly. so now when i'm asked, i don't like to say. it all of a sudden seems pretentious. but you know how hard we work for that!

the only bright spot is the state attorney believes my guy, so she just dropped his case. the bad thing is, my guy was slaughtered in the press. i've found news articles about him on a news website in reno.

[befsquire]

having truly innocent clients really sucks balls. most of the time, you're gambling with their freedom when you take them to trial. i have one innocent person in prison right now, never been arrested, doing 5 years day for day under a minimum mandatory statute.

this guy sat in jail on no bond for months, until the state agreed he could be released on his own recognizance.

[Bob]

it's true though. sadly. so now when i'm asked, i don't like to say. it all of a sudden seems pretentious. but you know how hard we work for that!

a friend of mine interviewed for a job at the IRS. and it just made me think, if there's ever a job that you can't tell people you have...

i mean imagine going to a cocktail party (i've never heard the phrase "cocktail party" as many times as i have since i started law school btw, i can't believe i just used it sincerely but fuck it, i'm leaving it) and talking to people, all like

"so what do you do?"

"well i'm a lawyer"

"oh...well what kind of law do you do?"

"tax law"

"oh...well...where do you work"

"the IR-"

"it was nice meeting you"

he didn't even get the job, they said he was overqualified. they were right, too, he had a tax LLM, he was interviewing at big accounting firms, he would have left the second he got the chance. he said everyone there looked miserable. IRS lawyers have to be right behind public defenders in terms of job satisfaction. at least public defenders help people

[befsquire]

the IRS helps people too! the IRS simplifies peoples' lives by taking their money and possessions. :)

[Bob]

having truly innocent clients really sucks balls. most of the time, you're gambling with their freedom when you take them to trial. i have one innocent person in prison right now, never been arrested, doing 5 years day for day under a minimum mandatory statute.

this guy sat in jail on no bond for months, until the state agreed he could be released on his own recognizance.

you know, i never thought about that. my own reason for not wanting to do criminal defense was not wanting to defend guilty people, but i never considered that defending innocent people would be even worse. there's so much shit on the line.

i wonder what it's like prosecuting an innocent person, though? i suppose you wouldn't know, but i imagine that after a certain amount of time on the job, you must be able to tell to some degree. and i know prosecutors have discretion about who they want to prosecute but i'm not sure what the extent of it is. i can't imagine having to zealously advocate the prosecution of someone you think is innocent. i had to do it in my criminal trial practice class and i did it well, but there it's just a game, i wouldn't have the stomach for it in real life.

that kind of crap is why i want nothing to do with criminal law. i mean the actual work involved is kind of engaging to me, i feel like i could enjoy it if lives weren't on the line and criminals weren't involved. not to mention that they don't even pay you enough to pay off your loans in that line of work.

[adam_f]

I'll give you the biggest dick I know. ;)

[checkyourprez]

you know, i never thought about that. my own reason for not wanting to do criminal defense was not wanting to defend guilty people, but i never considered that defending innocent people would be even worse. there's so much shit on the line.

i wonder what it's like prosecuting an innocent person, though? i suppose you wouldn't know, but i imagine that after a certain amount of time on the job, you must be able to tell to some degree. and i know prosecutors have discretion about who they want to prosecute but i'm not sure what the extent of it is. i can't imagine having to zealously advocate the prosecution of someone you think is innocent. i had to do it in my criminal trial practice class and i did it well, but there it's just a game, i wouldn't have the stomach for it in real life.

that kind of crap is why i want nothing to do with criminal law. i mean the actual work involved is kind of engaging to me, i feel like i could enjoy it if lives weren't on the line and criminals weren't involved. not to mention that they don't even pay you enough to pay off your loans in that line of work.


i remember bring up points like this (how messed up it was to either defend the guilty, or prosecut the innocent) and getting chewed out by some lawyers/people on this board for my views.


now ive decieded to go into law. i dont want anything to do with criminal law for the very reasons stated above.


im hoping to go the enviornmental route and save wild life and protecting places like alaska from drilling....may be a bit of wishful thinking, but i got to believe i can do some good in this world of madness and all of that other greasyness. :D

[NoFenders]

That's one F'd up story befsquire. That sucks that you have to be the one to tell him, but it's great that you did, for everyone involved. I have a hard enough time telling people when their zipper is down.

:cool:

[ms.peachy]

You're not a dick though bef- none of this is your doing. Some other people have made a mess and you're really just part of the clean-up crew.

[Kid Presentable]

Isn't Documad a lawyer? Why does she never post about her job?