I haven't slept/eaten in two days

[Lex Diamonds]

I've also had a bottle of scotch, a crate of beer, a gram of coke and 60 cigarettes. I'm starting to feel weird.

[beastiegirrl101]

isn't two days with no sleep considered legally tripping?

[Lex Diamonds]

It feels like it, yeah.

[beastiegirrl101]

go to sleep then!

[b i o n i c]

you are literally shortening your life by years as we speak... partaaay(y)!

[Helvete]

Rockstar life! Maybe multiply the gram by 10, but hey! How much could you get me a kilo for?

[Lex Diamonds]

Who do I reply to? :confused:

It's OK my friend is on the way round with an 8th. (y)

[Knuckles]

How much is a "crate" of beer?

[Lex Diamonds]

20 284ml bottles of Stella Artois.

[b i o n i c]

you're gonna die.

[paul jones]

I've also had a bottle of scotch, a crate of beer, a gram of coke and 60 cigarettes. I'm starting to feel weird.

(y)

[beastiegirrl101]

^ have a sammich first.

PS
Paddy do you work? School?

[Lex Diamonds]

Funnily enough I had a job interview today, aced it. I'm starting tomorrow, LOL. My friend ironed my clothes for me and helped me shave this morning, I can't believe I actually got to the interview, let alone got the job!

[b i o n i c]

wtf? was the interviewer shooting up while you met?

[Lex Diamonds]

LOL probably, I could hardly see straight. I'm pretty good at faking sobriety/alertness though.

[Freebasser]

Congratulations on the new job, Paddy.

Big Mac, please.

[paul jones]

Congratulations on the new job, Paddy.

Big Mac, please.

oi! don't push in! I've been waiting 5 minutes to get served

[Freebasser]

Wotevah!

*slaps you upside the head with a Happy Meal Bratz Doll*

[funk63]

only 60? no wonder u feel weird u need to smoke more.

[paul jones]

Wotevah!

*slaps you upside the head with a Happy Meal Bratz Doll*

the giveaways are better than the food it seems

[RoryMC]

Congratulations on the new job, Paddy.

Big Mac, please.

lol


Funny as fuck.

[ericlee]

oi! don't push in! I've been waiting 5 minutes to get served

don't mind me. I'm just here to shit in the deep fryer.

[Lex Diamonds]

Actually it's at Costa so suck my Beef Deluxe.

[Lex Diamonds]

Btw this shit started cuz I ended it with my girlfriend after like two years. I was very much in love with her, but she is a psycho. Not anymore obviously, we've broke up like 10 times before but this time it's some real fucked up shit.

She locked me in her house cuz I found a load of texts on her phone from/to some guy and tried to leave. I forced my way out, then she followed me half way home barefoot and was jumping in front of me and pulling and hitting me trying to stop me getting home. So I called the police and she let me go, I got home and soon after she turned up banging on the windows and shouting and phoning me constantly for two hours, so I cracked a bottle of scotch and tried to ignore it. Eventually her parents came round and made her leave, she won't stop calling me and posting letters through my door and shit, it's crazy.

So I went and met up with some friends (one of whom happens to sell yayo) and went on a little session. Now she's saying she can't live without me and is going to commit suicide if I don't speak to her/give her another chance. If you love me so much you shouldn't have two timed me, you stupid bitch! Being "confused" or "fucked up" isn't an excuse. I mean damn, I coulda cheated on her with a thousand different women but I'm not that guy. I will be now, though. Fuck love.

The shitty thing is this happened the day my mother went to India for 2 weeks so I'm completely alone, I don't wanna go crying to my friends with that shit. No one in my family lives near and I was supposed to be going round her house for dinner every few nights, I'm completely broke and probably gonna starve.

Good times! (y)

[abcdefz]

Sorry, dude. That situation sucks.

[abcdefz]

Maybe you should get some exercise. Or go to a dog park and play fetch with one of the dogs; animal therapy is pretty remarkable.

[abcdefz]

No Heath Ledger impersonations, now, old buddy old pal.

[Lex Diamonds]

Of course not, I'm not quite in that frame of mind. I don't feel too depressed, just kind of... empty. Suicide is pathetic, selfish and weak. I have known people that did it and despite the tragedy of it and the love I had for those people it makes me lose all respect for a person.

[abcdefz]

I'm talking about accidental O.D.

[Freebasser]

Btw this shit started cuz I ended it with my girlfriend after like two years. I was very much in love with her, but she is a psycho. Not anymore obviously, we've broke up like 10 times before but this time it's some real fucked up shit.

She locked me in her house cuz I found a load of texts on her phone from/to some guy and tried to leave. I forced my way out, then she followed me half way home barefoot and was jumping in front of me and pulling and hitting me trying to stop me getting home. So I called the police and she let me go, I got home and soon after she turned up banging on the windows and shouting and phoning me constantly for two hours, so I cracked a bottle of scotch and tried to ignore it. Eventually her parents came round and made her leave, she won't stop calling me and posting letters through my door and shit, it's crazy.

So I went and met up with some friends (one of whom happens to sell yayo) and went on a little session. Now she's saying she can't live without me and is going to commit suicide if I don't speak to her/give her another chance. If you love me so much you shouldn't have two timed me, you stupid bitch! Being "confused" or "fucked up" isn't an excuse. I mean damn, I coulda cheated on her with a thousand different women but I'm not that guy. I will be now, though. Fuck love.

The shitty thing is this happened the day my mother went to India for 2 weeks so I'm completely alone, I don't wanna go crying to my friends with that shit. No one in my family lives near and I was supposed to be going round her house for dinner every few nights, I'm completely broke and probably gonna starve.

Good times! (y)


Sounds like an episode of Skins. Not that I watch that :/

Also, don't do drugs, you bumclown. Chin up (y) *hugs*

[HEIRESS]

padster get a new girlfriend already, so she'll stop yah from being such a shit-head!

thats what they are there for yah know, that and s'in your d.

[abcdefz]

Signing your dictionary?

[Freebasser]

Stitching your denim :cool:

Sorting your dinner :cool:

[Lex Diamonds]

Showering my dog? Starching my dungarees?

[abcdefz]

Scrubbing your dining?

That makes no sense!

[na§tee]

saluting your dachschund. OBVIOUSLY.

[abcdefz]

That sounds vaguely dirty. I don't think Heiress would say anything like that.

[HEIRESS]

very true a-z, my mind is as shiny and clean as a freshly s'ed d.

[abcdefz]

Soaped dais?

[Knuckles]

Damn, that sucks Padster.

Hope everything turns out ok.

[abcdefz]

"That sucks Padster" made me wonder for a second if those weren't oral sexist allusions Heiress was making.

[HEIRESS]

mywordidodeclarewellinever.

[The Notorious LOL]

saying s your d is awesome. I think Sarky introduced that here.

[HEIRESS]

yeah, it was either sarky or rock I do believe.

[DipDipDive]

Coke is for disgusting retards.

[Lex Diamonds]

So are shitty avatars with pictures of cats in them.

[DipDipDive]

Pretty sure your problem is a hell of a lot worse than mine.

[Lex Diamonds]

s my d, b

[HEIRESS]

maybe she would consider it if it wasnt COVERED IN STUPID COCAIIIIIIIIIIIINE YEAH! HAH! err ahhh.....f...

[Lex Diamonds]

Hey don't worry, I've ran out of money for coke and I should have enough food to last til about Tuesday so I'm cool for the time being. Just eating a nice chicken and garlic pizza about to smoke a nice fat doob. This is the life. (y)

[Yorkshire~Rose]

Thank goodness for that. I thought we were going to find you slumped in a chair, your hair all back combed a la Winehouse.

Take care of yourself Paddy. Or i shall have to give you a clip round the ear.

/motherlymode

[Lex Diamonds]

I was meant to start my new job today. I was sitting outside having a cigarette and my ex texted me saying she was in hospital. She texted me again just as I was walking into work saying she took a load of pills last night. My manager asked me what was wrong and sent me home, he said I was in shock or some shit.

So I went to the hospital and spoke to her mother (who works there), apparently she's going to be OK but she's really fucked up mentally, she's completely depressed. This sucks because I haven't done anything wrong, sure I've been telling her to fuck off and insulting her when she's asked me for another chance but why shouldn't I, she fucked me over pretty royally. Now I've just got to sit at home and wait to hear what's happening from her mother, I don't even know if I should go and see her when she's home. My brother tells me to stay away and sever all ties but in a way I feel some responsibility to try and set her straight and sort herself out. Not that there's any chance of going back into a relationship but we were best friends for about a year before we got together... I'm pissed off at her but I don't want her to die.

What would you do?

[taquitos]

what a great thread

[Lex Diamonds]

Fuck you, what do you ever add to this board except smug little throwaway comments acting like you're better than everyone else? Where are all your multitudes of "great threads"? Or do you not have time to make any because you're too busy setting everyone straight on what is and isn't cool?

Cunt.

[camo]

what a great thread

you're a bit of a knob. That is all.

[beastiegirrl101]

Paddy I agree with your brother, you really should cut all ties from her. It sounds like it's just a vicious cycle with this girl and you don't want to get caught in her downward spirial but it seems you already have. You can't change her, she has to want to change for herself.

[Rock]

coke is soooo 10th grade.

[Guy Incognito]

Paddy I agree with your brother, you really should cut all ties from her. It sounds like it's just a vicious cycle with this girl and you don't want to get caught in her downward spirial but it seems you already have. You can't change her, she has to want to change for herself.

Definitely - leave well alone now. you being involved isnt going to get her head or yours straight.

[Lex Diamonds]

I think I'm gonna go talk to her, don't know what to say though. I want to make it clear that we can't get back into a relationship but I want to try and reassure her at the same time and be there for her as a friend while she tries to fix her head.

Nata, my brother also says it's a bad idea because it will just lead back into the cycle. But it would be too difficult to cut contact, we have all the same friends and live near each other. Plus it would be a really bad end to what was at one point a true loving relationship. My mother says she can tell she really does love me but has some real problems and insecurity and I should try and help her somehow.

[Guy Incognito]

Look mate,
I have just read all this thread today and it
Seems to me
That, despite the advice
Everyone is giving you that
Nothing will stop you

Trying to sort this
Out

You both need to be apart from each
Other for a bit.
Unfortunately, time has to play a part here she has to
Realise some stuff on her own and not to think about you.

Being in the same neighbourhood wont be easy but
Right now you both need as much space as possible
Otherwise, the situation might go
Two steps back. I know this might be
Hard to take but
Everything takes time, you have to let your head
Rule your heart on this one.

[monkey]

ok, the chick is sick, she's got an illness, and you feel bad for her right now because you care and you dont want her to be ill. BUT she also wants reassurance and the knowledge that you'll always love her, regardless of how sick she might be. and what you need to do is tell her you'll care for her when she's healthy but her sick self is not as lovable. she needs to learn that she WILL NOT get extra love and affection from being sick, and then perhaps she'll be willing to change her life to make it better for herself. it's a very vicious cycle that depressives tend go through when they go through their bad times, some ask WAY TOO MUCH of their loved ones. there is no doubt that she needs love and affection to get through her bout with this, but it needs to come from herself first.

in my opinion, i think you should be there as her friend, but also be a little distant. let her know that until she is better with herself, your friendship can only bring a little bit to the table.

she might be mad at you for choosing that; she might think you're just a fair-weather friend. but if she is RELYING on you to make her feel better, she needs to learn to do it without you, the hard way.

[b i o n i c]

i will not give you the advice you gave me...

forget about all that homotional bullshit

but im really glad to hear that you're trying to be a man with what you want to do.

staying away and cutting all ties is extremely cowardly and selfish. you should rightly take some responsibility when its difficult. we're all human, and she may be psycho, but i think its very right of you to want to lend her a hand. that's what friends are for, in good times and in bad. hiding is for weaklings. this is part of what's wrong with society and with people. the fake friends who dump you when its more convenient breeds nothing but bitter and more selfish people.

however, i do think there should be some distance. whomever said you shouldnt reward her psychoness by your presence is right, and you should also reassure her somehow that she has a friend in you when she gets better, that you're not abandoning her but you dont feel right having a relationship.

i think this is the right and a generous approach. if she still chooses to hate you despite your attempt to do the right thing, you may have to make some judgements based on her reactions. good luck bro

ps: try to stay away from the coke. it will fuck you more than you can imagine in a short amount of time.

pps: the rest of the stuff you're doing in excess will make you old and ugly before you know it, try to lay off and stay young and healthy. you want to stay decent for the wimminz. your dick will thank you in 10 years.

[Lex Diamonds]

Thanks for the advice guys, you people can be really cool in times like this. Her mother called just now and said I should go round for dinner, she said I looked ill today and she wants to make sure I'm eating properly. It's not exactly the situation I was planning to get into but I am close with her family, it should be fine.

You guys are right about it being an illness, and I agree with the whole "not rewarding psycho behaviour" thing. But then in that case I wouldn't be seeing her because I told her I never wanted to see her again. I just spoke to my friend who is one of her best friends and she said she sent her a "goodbye" text message thing last night, but that she thinks it was fundamentally just an attention stunt and she would never actually kill herself. So that makes me feel stupid as well, she's basically just done this to make me worried and let her talk to me, and it's working.

[beastiegirrl101]

staying away and cutting all ties is extremely cowardly and selfish. you should rightly take some responsibility when its difficult. we're all human, and she may be psycho, but i think its very right of you to want to lend her a hand. that's what friends are for, in good times and in bad. hiding is for weaklings.

so I'm weak because I should have stuck by my verbally abusive and controlling ex BF because that's what friends are for? Different scenario but ultimately the same thing.

I see what you are saying but I totally disagree with you on this one.

Paddy needs to take care of himself (emotionally / drug usage) and his ex needs to take care of herself and them being around another will just cloud things for the both of them. My psycho ex knew I'd be around so he continued to do things for the attention he knew he'd get from me. She's fucking with his life and neither one can move on / get better if they are lingering around.

Tough love man and you gotta look out for #1

[Yetra Flam]

you'll be ok

[afronaut]

Btw this shit started cuz I ended it with my girlfriend after like two years. I was very much in love with her, but she is a psycho. Not anymore obviously, we've broke up like 10 times before but this time it's some real fucked up shit.

She locked me in her house cuz I found a load of texts on her phone from/to some guy and tried to leave. I forced my way out, then she followed me half way home barefoot and was jumping in front of me and pulling and hitting me trying to stop me getting home. So I called the police and she let me go, I got home and soon after she turned up banging on the windows and shouting and phoning me constantly for two hours, so I cracked a bottle of scotch and tried to ignore it. Eventually her parents came round and made her leave, she won't stop calling me and posting letters through my door and shit, it's crazy.

So I went and met up with some friends (one of whom happens to sell yayo) and went on a little session. Now she's saying she can't live without me and is going to commit suicide if I don't speak to her/give her another chance. If you love me so much you shouldn't have two timed me, you stupid bitch! Being "confused" or "fucked up" isn't an excuse. I mean damn, I coulda cheated on her with a thousand different women but I'm not that guy. I will be now, though. Fuck love.

The shitty thing is this happened the day my mother went to India for 2 weeks so I'm completely alone, I don't wanna go crying to my friends with that shit. No one in my family lives near and I was supposed to be going round her house for dinner every few nights, I'm completely broke and probably gonna starve.

Good times! (y)

You know, taking her back would probably be a smarter idea than drowning your pain in idiocy. And I'm not saying that taking her back is a smart idea.

Are you really in the position to give a sick person some help?

Anyway, sucks about your girlfriend. Chin up, coke down.

[abcdefz]

so I'm weak because I should have stuck by my verbally abusive and controlling ex BF because that's what friends are for?
Different scenario but ultimately the same thing.

I see what you are saying but I totally disagree with you on this one.

Paddy needs to take care of himself (emotionally / drug usage) and his ex needs to take care of herself and them being around
another will just cloud things for the both of them. My psycho ex knew I'd be around so he continued to do things for the attention
he knew he'd get from me. She's fucking with his life and neither one can move on / get better if they are lingering around.

Tough love man and you gotta look out for #1



I don't think you have to look out for #1, so to speak, but otherwise I completely agree with this and even clap a little.

[hpdrifter]

Wow. I'd say I have to agree with others. Its sad but I think you should stay away from her. I mean, ultimately, you are rewarding her behavior. She took the pills to get your attention and now she's got it. If you give in to this she'll keep doing stuff like this to keep you around.

I understand your feeling responsible for her but her family can take care of her and she has friends. Its not like she'll be totally alone if you don't speak with her. If you share friends, maybe bow out of that social circle for awhile.

Tough times, Paddy. Start looking after your health better.

[hpdrifter]

Are you really in the position to give a sick person some help?



This is pretty spot on.

You don't have to feel guilty, you're not all that healthy yourself right now. You're suffering too and your life is kind of messed up and there are probably people in a better position to help her get through this. More objective, less emotionally involved.

[paul jones]

I just went up Morrisson's and got some egg custard cake things along with some apple crumbles,Warburtons toastie bread and some cappauchino.Also got distracted by the DVD section and bought an Eddie Murphey box set with 'RAW','Coming To America' and 'Trading Places'- 5.99! fucking bargain....also got The Ringer and This Is England.

Most of the customers in Morrissons are well grumpy.Shopping at Morrisons should be more fun surely? Get some strobelights going and lasers and diffrent DJ's on each section so on the coffe and tea ailse you could have DJ Tetley .For the bread section Mixmaster Buns.

I'm fucking glad I got my lotto tickets when I went in as when I was leaving there was a queue of about ten cunts all looking miserable

(y)

[Lex Diamonds]

Paul, let's go for a pint. (y)

Don't worry about me people, I can look after myself. I've always been kind of self-destructive (a shitload of unresolved issues and a family full of alcoholics) but I'm smart enough to know what is and isn't dangerous. At the moment I want to do what's best for her and ultimately what makes me happy. But the priority at the moment is to make sure she doesn't end up in the morgue. I just got back from seeing her and she's in a real state, bursting into tears every few minutes and pale and she's lost a lot of weight. She is obsessive, insecure, selfish and at times childish but she does love me and it's kind of my responsibility to bring her back to sanity.

Once she is mentally stable, then I will tell her what a stupid bitch she's been.

[Kid Presentable]

You owe her nothing.

[Lex Diamonds]

I know, but I hate seeing people upset when I know I can help. Maybe I'm too nice for my own good, maybe I just enjoy the power, but I like trying to fix people's problems.

Also I was in love with the girl for like 3 years, that shit doesn't just disappear overnight.

[Kid Presentable]

I don't think being nice is the problem. The more people you have in your life, the more drama you attract. And I think that although it seems like you are suffering for this girl, you kind of like it. It's masochistic, and everybody does it.

A big part of the reason why I limit my social circle is because as soon as you give people an inch of your feelings, they take a fucking mile. So it's up to you whether you want to focus on making yourself feel better (and in the process stop doing shitty coke) or you would in fact prefer the latent misery that is concern for another person. You don't have to turn off your love for this person, but that doesn't mean you have to rush to the nearest phone-booth to tear off your office clothes (Superman, not pervert).

Good luck, either way. But show some maturity and keep your distance instead of going against common sense for the sake of it.

[paul jones]

Paul, let's go for a pint. (y)

.


next time i'm in London(y)

[ToucanSpam]

Pauli is right.


Really sorry to hear about this, despite your general dislike for the TS.




You don't really owe her anything but I get your point about it all. You did love her and she is important to you. You're smart enough to figure out what is best for you at this point. If you decide to help her I'd say the best thing is not to spend too much time with her otherwise she will become dependant on you again and she won't let go.

Good luck.

[DipDipDive]

Don't worry about me people, I can look after myself. I've always been kind of self-destructive (a shitload of unresolved issues and a family full of alcoholics) but I'm smart enough to know what is and isn't dangerous.

Codependent relationships between addictive personalities are extremely dangerous. You can't fix her, she can't fix you. Might as well get used to that idea.

[b i o n i c]

im not talking about co-dependancy, im not saying forget it all and work on putting the relationship back together. i think the ignoring and shutting out is the masochistic approach that some people get satisfaction from, not the other way around. its a sort of punishment, a way of striking back without much effort, its easy to do that.

i agree with pauli and toucan. i didnt know your story, b101 and in your case where you are physically in danger or actively hurt and the person has been an asshole to you forever, well - they've had enough chances. if you've tried already and you find yourself figuratively banging against a wall, you can't put up with shit forever. like if he came to you and wanted to apologize or didnt understand what he did to you, he might benefit from some insight. again, that may not be for you, but in my case, i never felt i had to compromise my own self, or #1, to give a little to #20.

in paddys case it sounds like this is relatively new and that they had a relationship that he believes was all in all loving, this is different. he feels in control of the thing and doesnt feel in danger. yes, he's not in a position to cure her, all i mean is he doesnt need to punish her anymore - kick a person when they're down. he should not reward her and get back together with her or be her daily-affirmation-friend-for-life. that would be stupid and counterproductive - that would be rewarding her ridiculousness. by the way, understanding does not equal forgiveness, that depends on what realizations she has come to. you dont have to be at her bedside and sending her flowers and shit. im just saying its not wrong for him to offer to be there a little in some way when she stabilizes. yes let it cool down for a while. if you can, dont be with the family through this like at their house and shit.

by being there i mean simply maybe a taking a phone call when things cool down, maybe listening to her a little and letting her say her piece, even if he doesnt agree with what she has to say. i think he's tough enough to handle words. he does not benefit from shutting her out and letting his conscious eat him up when all he needs to do is listen a little and respond a bit and be done with it (say HIS piece) - for himself.

guilt should not be what brings forth responsibility. duty should not come from guilt, it should come from awareness. you shouldnt pay for something you broke out of guilt, you should pay for it out of duty. duty does not equal guilt, at least i hope not. having a conscience can just be empathy and love for your fellow man/woman. yes, it seems like these are dirty words nowadays but i dont think there's anything wrong with a little forgiveness and understanding - he might learn something. not completely letting himself be a doormat, but give someone a chance to at least try to explain themselves. it may not be the right time yet, but in time she may react to her own retardedness and try to apologize - let her.

at the very least paddy can ease his own conscience and in a way it might be more selfish than giving for him to do that and i also think that in a way that is him looking out for himself by not denying his intuition. when i said 'if she decides to continue to be an ass despite his attempt to lend her a hand he should then make a judgement', i mean he should be watching out for when his own personal well-being is being threatened by his generosity. of course if the line is crossed and she still decides to 'abuse' him, then he HAS to re-assess his priorities. i dont think vindication is healthy for anyone, at least in a case where love was involved. i just think closing up shop as a first instance as a knee-jerk reaction would be irresponsible and cowardly. he knows why he feels responsible and i applaud his self-awareness. standing ovation.

on first impression, i feel that the person who wrote her a goodbye message is being overly and unnecessarily dramatic and selfish. is that really necessary? who is benefitting from that? i dont think that really contributes anything to the girl, the only net gain from that is that whoever wrote that message feels some sort of satisfaction and control over a situation that really doesnt concern them. thats dumber and worse than just not writing anything.

im only speaking from personal experience and what has worked for me. i was paddy in a very similar situation, minus the drugs and anyone being caught cheating. and i lived. and i believe that even though im glad the relationship is over and was glad for it at the time, i did my part and the girl is better off. my conscience is clean and the girl has benefitted, years later - from her own words and my own observations. at least she seems to have grown and see how her actions hurt others. i feel it has been a little tiny bit to help her mature by understanding how i felt - developing her own sense of empathy. maybe she will be a little more kind in the future by learning from example, and hopefully at least the next dude won't have to put up so much with what i did. she and all of her friends have come back to me trying to rekindle our relationships and though i kindly decline to take a step into the past, im glad to have contributed what i could. no im no saint. im not trying to be a martyr because thats the first thing that people seem to think you're trying to do. if i was doing it to get in good with them or to win her love, then maybe, but i fully planned on it being over when the situation went down. i never responded to drama and definately didnt reward bad behavior. i always waited a while for things to cool down, but took the initiative when it was safe. i didnt fix her, she did everything on her own and mayve been ok without me. for me, all it took was a couple of emails and a couple of phone calls, never a face to face meeting. like if she tried to contact me and get back together, i didnt just ignore her, but i explained why i feel the way i do, no harm done. i never felt endangered and dont feel i ever compromised my own well being.

some of you may think im weak for MY point of view, but in myself i feel stronger for how i chose to handle the situation. i guess i did what i needed to do for myself in the end and someone else benefitted a little along the way. i realize i may sound self indulgent, and i accept that i could be wrong. if one out of a thousand understands at least part of what im trying to say, then thats cool.

and i agree with everyone else - think about how you should stop abusing yourself. you may probably live and just because you're still walking it doesnt mean your insides arent being damaged. the drugs are just dumb and hurting you more than anything this chick can do to you. look out for paddy and get rid of that shit. THAT may have to involve cutting some people out, and you won't be hurting anyone by not being involved in that scene. he can chew gum and walk at the same time, he can do two things at once and he most definately should still make his own well-being a priority at the same time. this conversation is about the relationship, im not really addressing the other thing too much right here.

ok ive written waaay too much but this hits a nerve for me. again, good luck.

[Kid Presentable]

Bionic, you seem to like the drama too. Maybe I'm just reading your post wrong. But padster "closing up shop" needn't be considered a "knee-jerk" response; the girl has her family. The sooner Pad becomes a peripheral of her world the better, for them both.

[b i o n i c]

because i wrote a lot? i dont think thats fair. i guess that looks dramatic. sorry

bottom line, listening and responding a couple of times could just prevent a lot of other drama. i think you may be reading it wrong - there is a lot there. dats my point of view, yo


butts. vagina. titties.

[russhie]

Thank christ my break up is going well.

Honestly... girls shit me sometimes.

[Kid Presentable]

Thank christ my break up is going well.

Honestly... girls shit me sometimes.

We're breaking up?

[russhie]

I think it's better if we stay friends, kiddo.

Heart of hearts, and all.

[Kid Presentable]

*plays with Transformers toys*

[QueenAdrock]

I just spoke to my friend who is one of her best friends and she said she sent her a "goodbye" text message thing last night, but that she thinks it was fundamentally just an attention stunt and she would never actually kill herself. So that makes me feel stupid as well, she's basically just done this to make me worried and let her talk to me, and it's working.

I think that's key to understand her intentions. If she wanted herself truly dead, she could have done it. Jumping off a building, shooting herself, cutting her wrists really deeply, etc. Pills are the easiest to survive from. When I read this, I was under the impression that she wanted to put herself in the hospital but not die. Granted, there are some people who take pills and DO die, but the cases that I've heard of in my personal life of friends of friends taking pills, they survive.

More than anything, I think she's desperate. I was devestated after my breakup, I wanted more than anything for it to go back the way it was before. Desperation will make you do stupid things, I'd be a liar if I said the same kind of thing never ran through my head - "You know, if I threatened suicide and told him, he'd feel guilty and finally talk to me." But I think the difference was, even though I was devestated there was a mechanism in my brain that said "No way man, that's stupid." She doesn't seem to have that, and that needs to be fixed.

Honestly, I don't think she's going to kill herself. She's screaming for attention more than anything else. If you have friends in common, maybe have them talk to her and take her out and all of that and have them there for her to lean on. If I were you, I'd tell her that you want to talk to her and be there for her, but you feel uncomfortable doing so with her so sick. Tell her that you'll start talking to her again once she tries to get help and be better. Give her motivation and have her play by your rules, not her threats. I think she'll follow.

[avignon]

I know so many early 20-something men who get involved in these types of relationships because they are drawn to the damsel in distress and want to save her. She knows this about you and and will get into distress whenever you a) blame her for anything b) try to leave. She was living just fine moments before you found out about the other guy. And apparently didn't try to hide the relationship from you very hard or you wouldn't have found out. She's a manipulator. And some people live for drama. Just start you're new job, work really hard and all that drama won't seem very dramatic sooner or later.

[russhie]

I'm in the process of breaking up with my boyfriend of 7 1/2 years, and yeah, it's fucking hard. I cry alot, but I'll be fine. We love each other still and are going to be friends. The only thing that gets me to panic mode is not being able to find someone I click with as perfectly. If he could promise me this was just a break, and we'd be together in a year, then yeah, I'd just go out, party my arse off and come back to him with a few more tricks in the bag.

He's rather reluctant to agree to that so meh. It scares me that I have to do so much work again, to get to know someone, the whole process...not that I'm on the lookout for anyone - so not. But it'll crop up eventually, and I guess I'm looking way too far ahead. Whatever.

Things I want: him to realise I was a great girlfriend, and was more than tolerant with his shit that other girls won't entertain, and jam a fat diamond ring on my finger. Or to maybe find someone better and realise breaking up was the best thing that ever happened to me. Either way.

I'm not gonna go crazy over it though. No one likes a total nutbag.


Shit. Off track, much?

[Lex Diamonds]

Bionic, you seem to like the drama too. Maybe I'm just reading your post wrong. But padster "closing up shop" needn't be considered a "knee-jerk" response; the girl has her family. The sooner Pad becomes a peripheral of her world the better, for them both.
That's another thing- her relationship with her family is fucked up. That's kinda why she's saying she "needs me" and I'm "all that she's got". She used to cut herself and shit, she really doesn't get along well with her family at all. She called me threatening to kill herself about a month ago because things got to a real point between her and her fam. That was a bit of a raw experience as well. What can I say, I guess I love the drama.

[Kid Presentable]

That's another thing- her relationship with her family is fucked up. That's kinda why she's saying she "needs me" and I'm "all that she's got". She used to cut herself and shit, she really doesn't get along well with her family at all. She called me threatening to kill herself about a month ago because things got to a real point between her and her fam. That was a bit of a raw experience as well. What can I say, I guess I love the drama.

You're the one who makes the decision. It's a good and bad thing you have access to so many different points-of-view on the issue. I wouldn't put too much stock into her family issues. Unless she's been molested/beaten, it's possibly the typical fare that she needs to grow out of. Again, just my opinion.

[hpdrifter]

Even if it is molested/beaten these are probably not things you can help her with.

But you gotta do what you gotta do.

[ms.peachy]

Wow, I know this thread's been kicking around for a few days but I hadn't read it. I'd no idea it was so serious.

Padster, I'm sorry you're in this rough spot.

The thing to remember is that sometimes, some people are like black holes, and if you get too close you get sucked in and you get crushed. So you are already skirting on the event horizon, which means you need a big thrust of energy to escape the pull. In other words, you need to make a break and get some distance between the two of you. This doesn't mean you stop caring - it just means you aren't going to be locked in orbit around her swirling emotional storm.

Look - you're a bright guy, and you are good with words. I suggest you write her a letter and tell her that you care about her but that you're not keen on playing a starring role in the drama of her life, and wish her well.

And then maybe take a serious inventory of your own life, work out what's working for you and what isn't, and get on with it, and be happy.

[Lex Diamonds]

The only reason I'm even speaking to her is because I know that I am the only person she's got. She doesn't have any real close tell-anything friends and to be perfectly honest, neither do I. I know she's not strong enough to deal with this shit on her own and her family aren't there for her. I've had other worse shit to deal with in the past and I've come through it sane, albeit with a gang of unresolved issues. I think I can get her out of her depression much better and quicker than anyone else can, and seeing as I still care about her (feelings like that don't just disappear overnight whatever happens) I want to be there for her.

It's awkward because all the time I see her now she makes these long pained speeches about how much she loves and needs me and it makes me feel kind of uneasy. I mean maybe when she's acting like a normal person again we can try and work this shit out but while she's in this condition why would I ever forget about what she's done and take her back? Forget about it!

Meh, what are ya gonna do?

[b i o n i c]

peachy has it right.

[Kid Presentable]

The only reason I'm even speaking to her is because I know that I am the only person she's got. She doesn't have any real close tell-anything friends and to be perfectly honest, neither do I. I know she's not strong enough to deal with this shit on her own and her family aren't there for her. I've had other worse shit to deal with in the past and I've come through it sane, albeit with a gang of unresolved issues. I think I can get her out of her depression much better and quicker than anyone else can, and seeing as I still care about her (feelings like that don't just disappear overnight whatever happens) I want to be there for her.

It's awkward because all the time I see her now she makes these long pained speeches about how much she loves and needs me and it makes me feel kind of uneasy. I mean maybe when she's acting like a normal person again we can try and work this shit out but while she's in this condition why would I ever forget about what she's done and take her back? Forget about it!

Meh, what are ya gonna do?

Your funeral. If you want to go down a shit path, you're making a fine start by ignoring all the good advice people have given you (in spite of your smart-arsed tendencies). Seriously, good luck.

[Kid Presentable]

^^^That sounds much harsher than I meant it to be. Don't play yourself, is all.

[ms.peachy]

I understand that you care about her man, but you are not her Personal Jesus.

[russhie]

Personal Jesus, I want one!

[QueenAdrock]

It's true. I had a self-destructive friend who had sabotaged all her other relationships and wasn't close with her family, and since I had a conscious I felt like it was my duty to help her out because no one else was there.

The bad thing is though, she constantly brought me down. She made me feel bad. I spent one New Year's dealing with her crying over an exboyfriend instead of having a good time because I felt sorry for her. All of my other friends got sick of her depressive ways, thus me being the only one left. I was the only one that could deal with her, but it took its toll on me. It made ME into a depressive asshole.

I had to distance myself from the situation as much as I could, but I told her that she needed help and to go to a psychologist for her depression (which she always rejected, because she wasn't about to admit "weakness" and say that she had a problem). She's one of these types that is too proud to ask for help, yet clings to people for dear life and has no dependency whatsoever. It's very hard to be in a situation like that. The only thing that worked and why we're friends now is she realized it was no way to live her life. She cleaned up, got a full-time job, went back to school, got her license, and now she's planning to move out of her house finally.

As much as I wish I could say it was because I was there for her...that wasn't the reason. It had to come from her, she had to want to get better, she wanted to get the help and do it on her own. Being her friend and being for her helped somewhat, but I couldn't "fix" her. She had to do that on her own. So while you may want to stay friends with her, don't feel like you have to solve any of her problems, that's for her to do herself.

[Lex Diamonds]

Just having a reminisce.

Happy times. :)

[camo]

BBMB HEART OF GOLD AWARDS NOMINEE 2015.

Aye good thread. Proof that we are/were a good community.

[Lex Diamonds]

Yeah, it's true. Like thanks everyone and shit I guess.