I make a horrible drunk.

[TOY]

After last night's outing, I can already see that I am NOT meant for the whole bar scene-thing...

I nearly got punched in the face after making fun of some girl's (who was about my age, possibly a wee-bit older) 40+ bf. I supposedly told her she had "dead eyes" (in ref to girls in porn/that dead-eyed look some have) and that the bf was short and gross (he was, but I'm assuming he was probably loaded with $$ $ 'cause I've seen some hot 40-something men and he most def was not one of them). I was funny about it, and the way I brought it to the table last night was worded much differently, but smart-ish. (People were laughing, several on my side.) I guess the brawl started after I began mocking her terrible, twangy (the "Scranton Twang"), LOUD and OBNOXIOUS voice. I'll admit though; I was totally jealous, and in the wrong from start to finish. She was waited on hand and foot by her male friends, and I was just the ugly little troll-girl with cheap'o shoes in the backdrop looking all pathetic and shit.

Yeah.. She had no defense. It was like listening to a retard playing the banjo. Her fat friend got in my face, and there was some pushing (though it's kinda blurry, maybe there wasn't any pushing and it was just her gigantic breasts getting in the way???). Needless to say, I got the boot. And then I went to McDonald's.

What was I getting at? Oh. I am totally insecure. I thought I was over it, but no. I can't handle the fact there are women around more attractive than me, especially when I'm drunk. I feel so inadequate, and the claws come out. The only times (so far) I feel somewhat at peace is when I drink with my mom and sister at the sushi bar.

Lame. :(

[DipDipDive]

What was I getting at? Oh. I am totally insecure. I thought I was over it, but no. I can't handle the fact there are women around more attractive than me, especially when I'm drunk. I feel so inadequate, and the claws come out.

I think everyone has dealt with this at some point in his/her life. I did. Then one day, I came to the realization that no one pays attention to my flaws or imperfections except me, and I am more self-centered than the hottest girl in the bar because I focus more on myself and my thoughts than I do on the people I am with who I care about. That's when I stopped caring.

Also, I always find myself engaged in confrontations with idiots in social settings. I think it's fun and oftentimes well deserved. I made some bitch cry at the dj shadow show I went to a few weeks ago because she and her friends kept budging in front of me and stepping on my feet in the coat check line. I kept commenting on her stupid tattoo and she kept saying she didn't care what I thought. Then I saw her crying outside the venue on our way out. hahaha.

[Miho]

There's a lot of fucking cruel people out there.

[DipDipDive]

There's a lot of fucking cruel people out there.

True. There are also a lot of people with no common decency or consideration for others in their environment, and they should be put in their place.

[milleson]

I'm an awful drunk, too. I excel at embarrassing myself in creative ways. For instance, I'm now know as the student who licked the ashtray at a party thrown my one of my professors. (It was unused and made of salt, and thereby warranted a licking.) So, I have since made a vow to refrain from drinking in the company of people who see me on a day-to-day basis.

[TimDoolan]

Try weed.

[DandyFop]

Ohhhh man. If you are insecure there never come to L.A.! Seriously...I have never felt like such a fat unfashionable fuck in my life. It's ridiculous - and the worst part is I can't hate them all. Like the other night I hung out with some girl who is actually a model, thin, blonde, perfect, AND she had an amazing personality. I think she might have been doing coke in the bathroom with her boyfriend though, but anyway she actually made fun of the fact that she's a model and geeked out with me about Star Trek and shit. I mean, WHAT? Fine, take the good looks but at least be a stupid bitch that I can hate or something, geeeeez.

[Echewta]

Try using something else besides playdough. Perhaps a wood carving would make for a better human figure.

[beastieangel01]

You have no reason to be insecure.
And I know that building the confidence in order to not have the "claws come out" is easier said than done. But honestly, you have nothing to worry about.

[Loppfessor]

Maybe you should just go bar hoppin/clubbin with your old pal Lopp...I teach ya how to act right...

[checkyourprez]

your no better than anyone else. and no one else is better than you. there are just things you cant help in life. and thinking about them only makes your situation worse. concentrate on being the best person you can be, that is all you can ask of yourself. :)

[trailerprincess]

I don't know about this. While I appreciate that you have some insecurity issues, I think I would have been mighty mighty offended if a girl who I had never met (I'm assuming), starting slagging me and my companion off. And though you say 'you were in the wrong from start to finish' you don't seem to show any regret for your actions. Maybe I'm just oversensitive about these things and I may well have the wrong end of the stick but that's my piece. Sorry.

[TOY]

I don't know about this. While I appreciate that you have some insecurity issues, I think I would have been mighty mighty offended if a girl who I had never met (I'm assuming), starting slagging me and my companion off. And though you say 'you were in the wrong from start to finish' you don't seem to show any regret for your actions. Maybe I'm just oversensitive about these things and I may well have the wrong end of the stick but that's my piece. Sorry.

Oh, I regret it. I embarrassed and made a fool of myself completely, and many were witness to this which makes my embarrassment ten times worse. But remember I also admitted I "slagged" on the girl because I was mainly jealous/insecure. Granted, that shouldn't be an excuse, but..

I know that if anyone poked fun at me, even if it were as insignificant as my shoe laces, I'd probably cry and harp over it all day/night/week. I guess maybe it stems from said girls in school always picking on me over retarded shit, so now I feel it time to step up to the plate and be a "bully"???

Whatever! I was drunk.

[alien autopsy]

i've done shit like that before. i think we all do, its a part of establishing ourselves i guess. you have to go through the shit to build up your own character and become more secure. its not like it magically happens and all the sudden you wake up secure for the rest of your life.

personally, id probably rather hang out with you, rather than someone who is fronting some illegit bullshit ego. cheers. (y)

[funk63]

I've never met a drunk girl I didnt like, if that helps.

[alien autopsy]

or you might be a pyscho hosebeast

[Yetra Flam]

Hey, if anyone knows about feeling insecure compared to other girls, it's me. I think about this shit wayyy too much.
However, the best compliment i've ever received is that I'm more interesting, easier to talk to and cooler than any of those pretty/hot girls. To me, that seems a lot better than just being good looking or having attention from a lot of men. I try to remind myself that when i feel like a dog.

[russhie]

I'm ok looking and I've got a good personality.

Go me.

Also, what trailerprincess said.