What does it mean to grow up?

[Waus]

I've been confronted with this question recently. I'm having to move back to Michigan to work at a new job in Detroit, and taking down all my music posters has brought some issues up.

What does it mean to grow up? Does it mean no longer collecting posters and t-shirts of your favorite bands? Decorating your house with smart clocks and tasteful art and rugs? Putting your consoles in the closet and your designer toys in the attic?

I guess I'm just sort of depressed about the whole thing. I've always kind of agreed with this xkcd strip (http://xkcd.com/150/), and I guess other people don't think the same way.

[b i o n i c]

growing up means finally knowing how to relate. to which degree you know how to relate with someone different from you = yer level of maturity



(imo)

[alien autopsy]

its sad to leave behind your shit from a past life- but you know when its time to do it because you feel a sense of liberation from it at the same time. move forward

[Miho]

Nah, I disagree. Growing up doesn't mean giving up what you enjoy doing. Those should never and will never cease. Gaming, listening to music, collecting WHATEVER: they shape who you are. To me, growing up means having a better informed perspective on the world around you, and keeping an open mind on anything that comes along your way. If we're talking about getting a serious, professional job, still, why should that stop what you like to do on your time off? I'll never let that happen to me, as long as I'm breathing.

[funk63]

its when u grow teh hairz on yer pee pee parts.

[na§tee]

i've been thinking about this recently, too.

out of sheer coincidence an old friend of mine emailed me this morning saying:

"I am at work right now and have only a short moment, but let me tell you this: Growing Up sucks big time."

he is unhappy. so he is going to quit his (very successful) job and take time out. he wished me 'courage and direction'. i wonder what he means about the growing up, though. what is so hard about it. i will enquire fuuurther.

me, i think growing up is responsibility. accountability. the acceptance that sometimes you don't have all the knowledge and answers you may want and need and the ability to make decisions without it, to take risks. you know? maybe i'm being a tad esoteric, ha. here, lists on the internet help:

Here are 20 defining characteristics of a true adult:


Realizing that maturity is an ongoing process, not a state, and continuously striving for self improvement.
Able to manage personal jealousy and feelings of envy.
Has the ability to listen to and evaluate the viewpoints of others.
Maintains patience and flexibility on a daily basis.
Accepts the fact that you can’t always win, and learns from mistakes instead of whining about the outcome.
Does not overanalyze negative points, but instead looks for the positive points in the subject being analyzed.
Is able to differentiate between rational decision making and emotional impulse.
Understands that no skill or talent can overshadow the act of preparation.
Capable of managing temper and anger.
Keeps other people’s feeling in mind and limits selfishness.
Being able to distinguish between ‘needs’ and ‘wants’.
Shows confidence without being overly arrogant.
Handles pressure with self composure.
Takes ownership and responsibility of personal actions.
Manages personal fears.
Able to see the various shades of grey between the extremes of black and white in every situation.
Accepts negative feedback as a tool for self improvement.
Aware of personal insecurities and self-esteem.
Able to separate true love from transitory infatuation.
Understanding that open communication is the key to progression.
Above all, true adults do what they have to do when it is required of them, and they do what they want when they can. They are able to distinguish between the two and manage their time and efforts accordingly.

hmmm.

i am not an adult yet. hah.

[Kid Presentable]

Here are 20 defining characteristics of a true adult:


Realizing that maturity is an ongoing process, not a state, and continuously striving for self improvement.
Able to manage personal jealousy and feelings of envy.
Has the ability to listen to and evaluate the viewpoints of others.
Maintains patience and flexibility on a daily basis.
Accepts the fact that you can’t always win, and learns from mistakes instead of whining about the outcome.
Does not overanalyze negative points, but instead looks for the positive points in the subject being analyzed.
Is able to differentiate between rational decision making and emotional impulse.
Understands that no skill or talent can overshadow the act of preparation.
Capable of managing temper and anger.
Keeps other people’s feeling in mind and limits selfishness.
Being able to distinguish between ‘needs’ and ‘wants’.
Shows confidence without being overly arrogant.
Handles pressure with self composure.
Takes ownership and responsibility of personal actions.
Manages personal fears.
Able to see the various shades of grey between the extremes of black and white in every situation.
Accepts negative feedback as a tool for self improvement.
Aware of personal insecurities and self-esteem.
Able to separate true love from transitory infatuation.
Understanding that open communication is the key to progression.
Above all, true adults do what they have to do when it is required of them, and they do what they want when they can. They are able to distinguish between the two and manage their time and efforts accordingly.


Complete fantasy. And anybody reading that who thinks they truly qualify automatically is being overly arrogant, not confident. I think a big part of growing up is moving away from constantly trying to define and delineate everything about yourself, and getting on with just being.

[ET]

What does it mean to grow up? Does it mean no longer collecting posters and t-shirts of your favorite bands? Decorating your house with smart clocks and tasteful art and rugs? Putting your consoles in the closet and your designer toys in the attic?


Not at all. Physical objects have nothing to do with it. Because you have a gas guzzling SUV, two kids, and a ton of bills in a vanilla white home doesn't make you any more grown up than anyone else. Middle age men can act like spoiled children the same way a 6 year old can. The clothes do not make the man or woman. Na§tee's post also makes good points.

I think waking up really early in the morning has something to do with it though. Ugh.

[na§tee]

Complete fantasy. And anybody reading that who thinks they truly qualify automatically is being overly arrogant, not confident. I think a big part of growing up is moving away from constantly trying to define and delineate everything about yourself, and getting on with just being.
i don't think all of the points are complete fantasy, just some. i posted it because it was one person's attempt at defining it. i wasn't agreeing. of course you can't define something that is on-going. i was just highlighting the fact it is a really difficult thing to list like that.

seeing the good in everything - that's bullshit. the degree a person is pessimistic vs optimistic has nothing to do with maturity, i think.

i still think it's what i initially said about not having all the answers at any one time and retaining the ability to make decisions, however big or small.

[Kid Presentable]

i don't think all of the points are complete fantasy, just some. i posted it because it was one person's attempt at defining it. i wasn't agreeing. of course you can't define something that is on-going. i was just highlighting the fact it is a really difficult thing to list like that.

seeing the good in everything - that's bullshit. the degree a person is pessimistic vs optimistic has nothing to do with maturity, i think.

i still think it's what i initially said about not having all the answers at any one time and retaining the ability to make decisions, however big or small.

I meant that the list as a whole is complete fantasy. Teenagers have none of the answers, and make all sorts of decisions, from what to eat (small) to what study path will lead them to their career (big).

[na§tee]

hmm. perhaps i phrased it wrong.

it's not the ability. everyone has the ability. i have an ability to eat a turkey sandwich for lunch. i guess it's making the best choices at a particular time with all the quantities of information we have available to us. not just any old choice per se. i think that is what people mean by "making adult decisions".

'best choices' doesn't mean adults don't make mistakes, either. i think adults make ACTIONS, not gestures. they deal and learn from the consequences. hmm, this is all getting a bit metaphorical now, claire. ignore me.

like et said though, it doesn't mean getting rid of all these things associated with youth. you can come to work dressed as a clown every day and still be an adult. and you can have a mortgage, 2 kids and a 4x4 and act like a child.

[camo]

The fear of death. I never used to have it but as a young adult it's been slowly creeping into my train of thought a lot recently.

Especially when boarding planes, taking long car journeys, stuff like that.

Also I used to skate a lot but recently I've given up. i'm worried about breaking my now fragile (after my car crash) left wrist, it's like growing up means 'pussying out'.

[Kid Presentable]

hmm. perhaps i phrased it wrong.

it's not the ability. everyone has the ability. i have an ability to eat a turkey sandwich for lunch. i guess it's making the best choices at a particular time with all the quantities of information we have available to us. not just any old choice per se. i think that is what people mean by "making adult decisions".

'best choices' doesn't mean adults don't make mistakes, either. i think adults make ACTIONS, not gestures. they deal and learn from the consequences. hmm, this is all getting a bit metaphorical now, claire. ignore me.

like et said though, it doesn't mean getting rid of all these things associated with youth. you can come to work dressed as a clown every day and still be an adult. and you can have a mortgage, 2 kids and a 4x4 and act like a child.
I hear you. One of the points on that list was hearing people, right? :D

Again, for me it's just the knowledge that you are, without the need to say you are because you do x.

[AceFace]

growing up means finally knowing how to relate. to which degree you know how to relate with someone different from you = yer level of maturity



(imo)

this is a pretty smart answer, i think.

[abcdefz]

I think it has to do with personal and moral responsibility.

[AceFace]

i have quite a few younger friends... they always pick on me b/c i'm so "domesticated". they say that i'm a grown up b/c i like to take care of my house and am a freak about gardening.

so really, sometimes i think as you "grow up" your priorities change. you find that fun has it's place and that fun itself may change for you. i still like hitting the bar on a friday night, but give me a rose bush and i'll be just as happy.

[abcdefz]

When life gives you a rose bush, make lemonade.

[Kid Presentable]

I still believe it's an internal thing. Relating to other people, and defining yourself by other people, that's with us from an early age. Growing up to me is a gradual process of learning enough about yourself through internalising, and taking something away from each life experience while knowing you still have more to go. Really understanding what you are, and how you're going to respond to a broad spectrum of situations, and doing your best to muddle your accumulated experiences into some false state of preparedness for new experiences.

[russhie]

If I think about it, I've been kinda forced into 'moving on' through all of life's stages. Right now I'm struggling with the transition between being a student and a young professional. Maybe I just don't like change?

At this point in time, during my break up, growing up means being more self reliant. From stuff like being in charge of feeling good about myself, to building my own career, to making responsible decisions in regards to the opposite sex - it's all adult bullshit that I didn't see the need for a month ago, and now I'm the proud owner of a million new burdens like this demanding attention all at the same time so I don't derail myself.

So, to me, growing up is essentially just learning to take care of yourself? I guess. Kiddo ^ did a better job of explaining it, I feel the same way about it being a gradual process of muddling acumulated experiences together to try and make the best of new situations.

[ms.peachy]

Growing up means realising that being an adult is far more powerful than being a kid, and that that 's totally not something to fear.

(Doesn't mean you don't get to cut loose from time to time, though.)

[kll]

buying a proper bottle of wine with a cork instead of Carlo Rossi jug with screwtop

preferring to put up artwork instead of rock posters. preferring the keyword

making decisions while weighing the outcome and the pros and cons instead of doing whatever sounds good at the moment

acquiring more sick and vacation days than days you have actually used for sicktime and vacation

not spending all the money on a party night when mortgage is due soon

knowing when you look ridiculous and not having to ask your friend's advice

being able to go to a social event alone and not having to meet your friends ahead of time to make the entrance


i still think it's healthy to indulge in irresponsibility and spontaneity when all of the above occur as much as possible, which isn't that often when you're grown up

[DIGI]

Not pooping your pants in shopping malls.

[taquitos]

not realizing that you are pooping your pants in shopping malls

[DIGI]

Count me out then. :(

[kll]

not realizing that you are pooping your pants in shopping malls

hahahahaha... very nice.


*squirts* ooops!

[gbsuey]

The fear of death. I never used to have it but as a young adult it's been slowly creeping into my train of thought a lot recently.

Especially when boarding planes, taking long car journeys, stuff like that.

Also I used to skate a lot but recently I've given up. i'm worried about breaking my now fragile (after my car crash) left wrist, it's like growing up means 'pussying out'.

i hate that i now have a slight fear of death-mainly 'cause i have kids but i loved being fearless. about ten years ago i was in czeck travelling with a load of friends and their soundsystem and we were staying by this huge bridge over a river and this girl Becky and me decide to jump off it-no idea how deep the water is and being about 70 metres up didn't stop us-i look back now and it makes me want to puke!!
i blame it on a generation x thing-i may be responsible now and am more domesticated than i ever thought possible but i don't feel remotely grown-up. I love gardening and always read weekend papers-even the bits i don't really understand and don't feel the need to learn the words to my favourite songs but i can't imagine really 'growing up'

thinking about it again-of course i've grown up-is it not a scientific fact that teenagers and younger are actually hard-wired to think mainly of themselves?? so i guess to have an increased (and increasing) awareness of the world around you-the bigger picture-is a sign of having grown up a little. but i'm not getting shot of my b-boys t-shirt just yet

[YoungRemy]

releasing the ego

[BangkokB]

When mom quits telling you what your going to wear that day then congratulations Yous all Growns Up

And the fear of death thing is bollocks. Some people dance with death regardless of age because that really gets the juices flowing. Does that make them childish? I don't think so. Just ask Bob, the Bomb Disengager. Or Frank, the Firefighter. Or Stone Buzzworth, professional art thief.

[fucktopgirl]

And the fear of death thing is bollocks. Some people dance with death regardless of age because that really gets the juices flowing.

Yea, death is our best friend/adviser in a way, it tell us that we will eventually become KAPUT and dead in this material world. So, it make us realize that every moment is important and we should just living it to the max.

As for what it mean to grow up, i don't know. But it has something to do with change and evolution. I mean since we are born we grow up, so....

[cookiepuss]

it's when you see an ad for a vacum cleaner or washing machine an you not only think it's the coolest thing since sliced bread, but you want to buy it even more than you want an xbox 360 or a pair of fabulous new pumps.

[BangkokB]

I feel you. To take what you're saying a step further maybe when anyone has the cognitive reasoning skills to separate fact from fiction then at that point they've grown up. But it gets a bit dicey at that angle bc some questions are always up for debates that never end

[ms.peachy]

A couple of weeks ago Noah and I were playing space aliens through out the house with the Nerf guns. At point he looks over at me and says "Dad, aren't we too old to be doing this?" I smile and say "Never."

One should strive never to lose the parts of oneself that are childlike, but endeavor to eliminate those that are childish.

[abcdefz]

I thought it just meant "get taller."

[hpdrifter]

I sent a text to my friend yesterday asking him to go climb trees with me this summer. It just sounded like a fun thing to do. I haven't since I was a kid and I kind of miss it.

Neither here nor there to this conversation, I guess.

[Yeti]

Ha....posters. It made me think of my last move. I was looking thru stuff and found a Fight Like a Brave Chili Peppers poster.....but then of all things I found a 6 foot tall Farrah Fawcett poster. Huh? I am an old man and I had it in my teens. I even found an old Fred Biletnikoff (Oakland wide reciever) football poster when he wore the 1 bar facemask and had stickum all over his arms and hands. I also found a Fishbone poster.

They have been rolled up in a tube for years. I think most poster people frame them when they grow up.