when two friends are into the same dude

[Dorothy Wood]

I'm no where near ready to be dating anyone...but there's this kid that I know that I've flirted with since I've met him. he's a big dork, but he laughs at almost everything I say, so it's easy for me to like him. one of my best friends is into him too. and we used to talk about flirting with him and making him uncomfortable for fun. but now that I'm single, she's all, "YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM! HE'S MINE!" and she gave me a mean look the other day when he and I did a super awesome perfectly timed high five that was so good he asked for another one that turned out to be even better.

so I think she's serious about me not being allowed to go after him (even when "going after him" equals high fiving). I don't know what to do. I don't like it when people are mad at me, but I don't like it when I have to change my own behavior. being single is too hard, me no like it.

[jabumbo]

its okay, you can have me

[TurdBerglar]

if she had access to him first/longer then you need to back off

[NoFenders]

Do what comes naturally. The high five can be mistaken for a quick shag in the coat room, so I can see why your friend would be upset, but if she hasn't made a move, then he's open game. Has he made a move??? He might be gay ya know.

:cool:

[Dorothy Wood]

we have both had access to him the exact same amount of time. ha. access. although I was dating someone 90% of that time.

she makes joking moves. he has not made a move, he is shy and awkward. I make no moves. He did ask me once if my ex was my boyfriend, and at the time he was. I told my ex that and he seemed to think that meant he was coming on to me and it made him frown.

everything is very vague and none of us are going to date each other, we're all weirdos.

[TurdBerglar]

well you didn't have access to him longer since you were dating someone 90% of the time. you had less access...

your friend has the rights to this dude

[cookiepuss]

baaahhhhh. rights? there are no rights over falling in love with a person. it either happens or it doesn't. alls fair in love and war.

seriously, you friend needs to mellow out. she doesn't need to make it into a competetion, unless she just likes the drama.

[TurdBerglar]

no need to hurt a friend's feelings over some dude. a friend is more important than some dude.


bros before hoes... or um... you know what i mean

[cookiepuss]

"bros before hoes" is a guy thing. most chicks don't abide by that.

but you make a vaild point...I guess she has to decide for her self which is more important to her...friendship or love interest.

I still think the friend needs to mellow out a little though.

[TurdBerglar]

"bros before hoes" is a guy thing. most chicks don't abide by that.


and we all know how well women get along with each other...

[cookiepuss]

^ EXACTLY.(y) you feel me.

[Dorothy Wood]

I'm not out to hurt anyone's feelings. It's just going to be hard to stop flirting with a person I've been flirting with for months! the harmless kind...like, telling him he's stupid or barring him from using the drinking fountain unless he pays me money. you know, elementary school stuff. that stuff never results in anything. if it did, every dude I've punched in the nuts would've become my boyfriend. it's not my fault he likes getting punched in the nuts :(

[wanton wench]

turd is right :eek:
no need to ruin a friendship. you both should agree to sit back and let him make the first move.

[beastieangel01]

chix before dix

[TurdBerglar]

there we go

[cookiepuss]

chix before dix

heh. that might be something womens say, but they don't do it. Personally it's not something I would do to a friend...but I've observed countless women who say shit like that then turn around and stab their friend in the back. I'm just saying....

women are not to be trusted. :mad: heee hee.

[NoFenders]

Blow his mind with a threesome. (y)


:cool:

[DandyFop]

Cookie I think you're being a leetle too general saying that. Sure some girls do. Some girls don't. Same with dudes. In fact I know more guys that have gotten themselves in trouble with this kind of situation, much more guys.

I do have a friend that like, boned her friends bf in the gf's bed while the gf was in the shower. How the fuck do you do something like that!??

Anyway, Dorothy, I understand flirting is fun but you gotta look at it from your friend's perspective. She's liked this guy for a while too and now that you're single you come in and start flirting with him again, well I would probably want you to back off as well.

[kaiser soze]

do you really want to ruin a friendship or two for a rebound?

[abcdefz]

Have you ever tried discussing something openly?

You know: being direct, being honest?

Just a thought.

[cookiepuss]

Blow his mind with a threesome. (y)


:cool:

sharing is caring.(y)


Brabs....you are correct. I am over generalizing. but I know most of us here are smart enough to pick up on that and take my statment with the grain of salt that it rightfully deserves.

[NoFenders]

Anyway, Dorothy, I understand flirting is fun but you gotta look at it from your friend's perspective. She's liked this guy for a while too and now that you're single you come in and start flirting with him again, well I would probably want you to back off as well.


Very good point. Never thought of it that way. :cool:

[Yetra Flam]

High fiving and whatever else you were doing doesn't sound all that much like flirting to me. I certainly would not read it as that

[Rock]

If he is showing interest in one of yous, then the other should back off. If no interest is being shown to either of you, and she has been working at it...its kind of weird if you TRY to get him to put his wiener in one of your orifices.

[hpdrifter]

Its up to him, not you guys. He's going to go for who he likes, maybe you, maybe her, maybe neither of you. Its unfair to try to make the decision for him.

He may not like her and like you. So if you back off he still may not date her. Its up to her at that point whether she's going to be bitter about it. And/or vice versa.

And if she is bitter, its up to you whether you want to preserve her feelings and not date him.

You know chix b4 dix and all that.

[Dorothy Wood]

I don't think I want his wiener in any of my buns. I had a dream about him the other day where I cradled his head to my bosom and patted his head. I don't know what that means. Perhaps I would just like him to be my child? weird.

and, dandy, I flirted with him throughout my relationship. but like I said before, in an elementary school way. heck, I flirt that way with all people I like, boys and girls, my coworkers. It's like involuntary.

I guess my point is, that when I had a boyfriend, it was just kind of funny and now it's like, a thing. I honestly think that if anything happened between him and I, she would be pretty mad.

we should probably just have a fist fight and tell everyone it's about him. and then he can go running and screaming for the hills away from both of us. :)

[ms.peachy]

Have you ever tried discussing something openly?

You know: being direct, being honest?

Just a thought.

WTF? What good would being mature and sensible be?

Sheesh. Some people.

[Dorothy Wood]

Its up to him, not you guys. He's going to go for who he likes, maybe you, maybe her, maybe neither of you. Its unfair to try to make the decision for him.

He may not like her and like you. So if you back off he still may not date her. Its up to her at that point whether she's going to be bitter about it. And/or vice versa.

And if she is bitter, its up to you whether you want to preserve her feelings and not date him.

You know chix b4 dix and all that.


I like your opinion.



also, A-Z, perhaps we should talk about it. although I know that basically she likes him in a casual way (she's not head over heels and neither am I), but no matter what, it sucks when someone you like even a little bit goes for someone else. and there is precedence of him expressing a bit more fondness for me than her...which was fine when I wasn't single. but not so fine now.

blah, she's one of my favorite ladies, I'll just keep my pants on.

[hpdrifter]

Well that's a bummer. I still think its unfair of her to get in the way if you two like each other (even a little bit) but you're a good friend for looking after her first.

[ms.peachy]

blah, she's one of my favorite ladies, I'll just keep my pants on.

Seriously, there's your answer. Next time you guys are hanging out, just say to her "Listen, I want to ask you something. Are you really interested in Joe? Because if you are, I can respect that. But if you're not, then tell me, because sometimes I feel like he's kind of flirting with me and I can't say I mind."

[Dorothy Wood]

Seriously, there's your answer. Next time you guys are hanging out, just say to her "Listen, I want to ask you something. Are you really interested in Joe? Because if you are, I can respect that. But if you're not, then tell me, because sometimes I feel like he's kind of flirting with me and I can't say I mind."


ha, yeah. well, she already knows/sees the mild back and forth flirting business. I have that with a few boys though, but mostly just because I like boys in general. interacting with them that is, because I'm a tom boy at heart. the more I think about it, the more I realize that I basically flirt with everyone. yuck.

I should ask her if she intends to truly pursue anything with him though. trouble is, he doesn't drink, so it's not like we can get him drunk and find out the real truth. what a square!

[trailerprincess]

My best friend slept with this guy she knew I really liked and who I thought might have had a small chance with (this was on my birthday I'd like to add) and then had the nerve to call me to tell me all about it the next day, while they were still in bed together. And then she put him on the phone to say hello. That wasn't a nice conversation and though I don't care so much that they hooked up then, and dated for a while afterwards, I still can't get over that phone call. We don't talk so much now.

[hpdrifter]

That's kind of a wack thing to do if she knew you were into him.

[Dorothy Wood]

yeah, that's horrible. I wouldn't do that. one time my best friend made out with a boy I liked and then our other friend made out with the boy my best friend liked at the same party. and then I took off crying and ran all the way home. we all got over it, but it sucked.

I honestly don't think I could even kiss a person other than my ex without bursting into tears at this point anyway. and we all know how sexy that is.

[Dorothy Wood]

okay so last week, a bunch of us went to a play, but my friend and that guy were supposed to go to dinner first and make it like a date. and I was like, "oh shit", she's really going for him. but then they didn't end up eating beforehand, but they sat together at the play. but then like, this other girl was trying to talk to him a lot and I was all, "omg! he's not that cute! are there no other single guys around?!" besides I'm pretty sure that girl only likes him for his ironic moustache.

and then the next day, there was an event a bunch of us attended and he came right over to me and put his stuff by mine said, "hey! we're friends on the internet now!" because he approved my friendship that I'd requested a few days before. and we high fived. and then he was being all nice and trying to talk to me and complimented me and stuff. and I felt all weird and bad about it. later on I tried to make him yell really loud, but it didn't work. I got our friend to yell for like 2 minutes straight, but he's already prone to yelling.


so yeah, I think I'm officially bowing out. too complicated. ugh. I hate boys.

[Yetra Flam]

fuckin hipsters and their fuckin ironic moustaches

[Dorothy Wood]

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d185/mrnohr/blog/misc/horseshoe.gif


it's that kind though, I like that kind. In college, my friend trimmed his beard into one of those as a joke and it ended up looking really good and he got way more chicks with it. no kidding. ah heck, I like a moustache on a man, as long as it looks like it belongs there and not like the person is just trying to have a moustache to be "cool". they can be very dapper. although I'm pretty sure everyone my age with a moustache started one as a joke. If someone's taking their moustache seriously, they need to calm down.

[Yetra Flam]

yes, that's exactly the kind i see all the guys in this neighbourhood wearing. ironic fuckin moustaches

[Bob]

fuckin hipsters and their fuckin ironic moustaches

yeah you're not losing anything here

[Dorothy Wood]

well, I danced all that night with a super gay guy with a goofier moustache than that and a very tight sweatshirt anyway. I'm gonna start being a fag hag.

and you guys know I'm a hipster. there's nothing I can do it about it!

also, I kind of like the irony of ironic things not being ironic anymore.

[Yetra Flam]

it's just that i live in a neighbourhood (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Williamsburg%2C_Brooklyn) with a ridiculous over-saturation of hipsters and i can't take it anymore.

[Dorothy Wood]

ah, then why did you move there?


I've heard that new york hipsters are worse than chicago hipsters though. My friend went to grad school there (for photography) and said that he couldn't go anywhere without being judged because everyone's trying so hard to be the next big thing. he'd wear a tie to class and people'd be like, "you trying to bring ties back?", and he'd be like, "no, I just felt like wearing it".

I told him the other day that he was a hipster and that we were all hipsters and he got really mad at me. :/

[Bob]

in 1997, my neighborhood was ranked as one of the fifteen hippest places to live in the united states

it's true, it's really hip out there. the other day i got to work and looked in the mirror and noticed i had an ironic mustache. i must have caught it on the subway or something