flirting tips

[Dorothy Wood]

so, I have a problem. I am really bad at flirting. I'm taking things slow and not really interested in dating anyone for serious, but I tell you what, this is the longest I've gone without getting laid in probably 4 years, so I'm a little antsy and I do have a crush that I have been trying (in vain) to flirt with for a couple of weeks now. and I am inadvertently acting like a 12 year old.

my flirting goes a little like this:

dude: can you hand me one of those?
me: there's a $5 handling charge.
dude: okay, put it on my tab.
me: *hands thing*

AND

dude: *standing on some steps, putting hand out to me for low five*
me: *puts head down and prepares to ram dude*
dude: *moves aside*
me: *stands up straight*
dude: I wasn't sure what you were doing, so I moved aside
me: yeah, I was going to ram my head into you and knock you off the stairs.
dude: that's not cool, that would have ruined my summer, summer in a neck brace is no fun.
me: neck braces '08! later dude! *hops on bicycle*
dude: see ya


so, like, what am I doing wrong? why won't this guy ask me out?

hahahah ahahhahhh

[Loppfessor]

gain a lot of weight....word on the street is fat girls are getting lots of dates

[ET]

That is almost how I flirt. The thing is that girls flirt back like that and I don't recognize it. I would need a properly formatted (double space MLA format) essay documenting that the girl I've been flirting with the last 3 months likes me back.

Although I went into Gadzooks recently and this girl behind the counter was giving me the "fuck me" face. Usually I look away for a second and go :o but we maintained eye contact for a few seconds. Then I remembered that I was with someone. :confused:

[paul jones]

so, like, what am I doing wrong? why won't this guy ask me out?

hahahah ahahhahhh

He doesn't realise how brilliant you are,that's all

[Dorothy Wood]

ah, thanks dude.

I also think it might have something to do with both of us being socially awkward.

so far nobody's said anything about the head ramming being weird...so maybe I'm on the right track. maybe he's thinking...wow, she's acting very childish around me and cornering me at parties drunk, talking about math...maybe I love her?

I dunno what I'm worried about. I never change my personality, it's not like I can do anything about this. there's no way I could trick someone into thinking I'm a regular person. I say and do stupid things every day. boo fuckin hoo.

[paul jones]

ah, thanks dude.

I also think it might have something to do with both of us being socially awkward.

so far nobody's said anything about the head ramming being weird...so maybe I'm on the right track. maybe he's thinking...wow, she's acting very childish around me and cornering me at parties drunk, talking about math...maybe I love her?

I dunno what I'm worried about. I never change my personality, it's not like I can do anything about this. there's no way I could trick someone into thinking I'm a regular person. I say and do stupid things every day. boo fuckin hoo.

don't worry about it.regular people bore the shit out of me too;)(y)

[RobMoney$]

I have no flirting tips for you Dorothy.
I think the gift of gab is something you either have or you don't.


Did you say you work with this guy? Because dating someone you work with is a bad idea.
It's possible he recognizes your awkward flirting but doesn't want to persue it with you due to the whole work thing.

[Drederick Tatum]

I just ask questions. bitches love talking about themselves.

[Pres Zount]

What are you doing wrong? Well, generally you don't put your head down and ram someone when you flirt, but I like your style. Although the fact that he got out of the way is a bad sign. If he liked you he would have let you ram him, so that he could pretend to be hurt. Then THAT would have been great. HE fucked up, OR he doesn't like you.

Was there REALLY a $5 handling charge, or is that just you making up some funny? I can't tell, but that doesn't mean that that isn't good flirting. I wasn't there! If you were joking about the $5 charge and he laughingly said back "put it on my tab", you should have said "Your tab is all maxed out on prostitutes/drugs/used underwear - you could pay me back later though".

If there really was a $5 charge, then I guess that's some pretty bad flirting.

THEN he would come back later and ask to pay you back by taking you out somewhere. You have to set him up, but still make him feel like he is the one doing all the thinking.

All this is hindsight though. Not helpful. I think you need to laugh more WHILE flirting, and when you do, you need to make yourself sound all giggly, and push him away while you are giggling in a playful way. THEN say "Oh stop!"

Or maybe that's just a movie I saw.

[funk63]

I just call girls princess alot and offer them cigs. Then draw them a picture or two then slowly work the gazumba.

[AceFace]

after he said "put it on my tab" you should have said "it's time to pay up, your tab is overdue... i can except it in other ways too." wink wink. something like that. oh oh! and that rhymed.

to me it seems like you're being too much of a "buddy" and not letting him see the girly side (if you have one). the head ramming was def a bubby buddy thing to do.

him:"low five!"
you: "as a rule i don't give low fives, but i'll make an exception for you."

i love me some flirtin'!

[Yetra Flam]

i thought that i was bad at flirting as well, but that's because i was doing it without realising i was doing it. make them laugh and joke around with them. smile a lot. you don't need to do this girly "wink wink" bullshit. that's corny.

[Loppfessor]

so, like, what am I doing wrong? why won't this guy ask me out?

hahahah ahahhahhh


maybe he reads the BBMB and thinks you're nuts

[na§tee]

make your hand lightly brush his balls by accident. they love that.









nah. just playin'.

maintain eye contact and just be yourself. i get accused of flirting just by cracking jokes with strangers and being a general hoot. don't 'act' anything. be natural, don't act like a try-hard jackass.

[yeahwho]

I always ask girls what to help me out with music, music is personal and fun plus a great ice-breaker. It gives each player a common emotional bond. Humor, laughter and my uncontrolled awkwardness usually does the trick, because chicks dig total geeks.

What Rob says is true, I dated several girls from the workplace, one ended up in a two year relationship from hell. Never, ever again do I want to mix work and relationships again. If it starts going south.... theres nowhere to hide.

Also sometimes if you ask what a french tickler is that works

[abcdefz]

About the easiest all-purpose way to flirt is pretty unwavering eye contact. Not staring, but meet their eyes and hold it.

That isn't always innately flirting, of course, but it's an easy way to let the other person know you're interested.

[Kid Presentable]

Tell a racist joke and then pass it off as irony. gets all the dorks hot these days.

[HEIRESS]

making derogatory comments has always worked for me. oh and wearing yoga pants. its all about lycra on the bottom.

[Kid Presentable]

Isn't it true that there's no such thing as an accidental female touch? So you should touch him. Don't cover his mouth and go "shhh" though....

[Echewta]

^ I'm old and that one still throws me off. Did you hug me and then brush my side with your hand as you were walking away just cause or what or :confused:
Then again, guys over analyze that stuff so it probably was just an accident.

[bigblu89]

my flirting goes a little like this:

dude: can you hand me one of those?
me: there's a $5 handling charge.
dude: okay, put it on my tab.
me: *hands thing*



Next time, follow that up with "Is there anything else that needs 'handling'?"

I saw it on a porno once. It worked like a charm.

[abcdefz]

"Care to plumb my pipes?" does the job, too.

[Dorothy Wood]

well, we don't work together, but we are a part of the same cult.

there was not a handling fee. it was a joke.

I do make him laugh sometimes. he was talking about going on this nude bike ride that happened the other day and I asked him if he was naked, and he said, "almost", so I said, "so, just a t-shirt and nothing on the bottom?" and he laughed pretty hard. and I do the eye contact thing. and I do believe that I'm the only person he gives fives to on a consistent basis.

I put my hand on his back at a party once when he was trying to decide what song to do for karaoke, but I just felt awkward about it.

I dunno, I guess I'll just keep trying to talk to him. he is a mega nerd after all, I will have to tear down his resistance.

[abcdefz]

Maybe not "resistance" so much as "shyness."

[Dorothy Wood]

well yeah, see, he's shy, but sometimes he isn't. it's weird. I guess I'm the same though.

maybe I should pat him on the bum sometime. or ask him if he wants to make out and then run away sometime.

[Waus]

The only successful flirting I've ever done was always just good natured ribbing. Arguing and making fun of each other has always led to relationships for me.

[Echewta]

:mad:Kid P and I had a question that wasn't answered. :mad:

[Dorothy Wood]

:mad:Kid P and I had a question that wasn't answered. :mad:

about female touch never being an accident?

yeah, I suppose that might be true. but some people are just touchy feely, so maybe it isn't true for everyone. I touch my male friends sometimes though and I'm not flirting.

[insertnamehere]

about the female touch never being an accident... i accidnetally bump into people a lot, especially at work, so yeah it can be an accident. i never intentionally touch people but it happens.

as for the flirting, i dont think there's really any advice anyone can give you. i feel like forcing it doesnt work and you just gotta go with the flow and whatever happens happens, ya know? then again, i've never actually been on a real date, so i dont know that you'd want to take my word on that, as it seems that i myself am doing something wrong. but yeah, i dont believe in that whole going out and actively looking for guys thing.

i dont think dating people at work always has to be a horrible idea, if you can both be mature. sometimes thats the only place you really get to meet people.

[funk63]

wait, so youve never intentionally touched someone?

[insertnamehere]

I intentionally touched people but it's not like, everyday I'm plotting every time I'm going to brush up against someone. Like, I'll put my hand on someone who's about to run into be to be like "hey guy I'm standing right here"... I jokingly hit people, and the other day I had this dude at work crack my back for me, but that's hardly like, intentional me going out of my way to touch people because I like them or whatever, which is what I feel like Chewie was saying... that any time a woman touches you it's because she wants to be touching you and she's attempting to flirt.

[russhie]

I think RobMoney's right on this, you either got it or you don't.

I don't do too badly I guess - fair bit of eye contact, touching their arm or leg or something, playing with my hair a bit, laughing, smiling...generally just showing them you're having a good time in their company works. You just gotta find the right mix of sexy and cute. But yeah I think it comes more naturally to some than to others.

[Lex Diamonds]

make your hand lightly brush his balls by accident. they love that.
Haha, yeah. (y)

It's been a while since I was in the game but back in the day I used to be on it like Sonic. The main thing I would remember is making people laugh as much as possible and striking the right balance between acting like you don't give a fuck about them/showing them your soft side. But I guess it's different from the ladies' point of view.

But of course, we all know how wrong it goes when people try and use other people's tips to flirt. There have been literally hundreds of comedy films based around it.

[abcdefz]

Subtly hump their leg.

[camo]

Subtly hump their leg.

Fido is that you?

[abcdefz]

*pees on hydrant*

[camo]

fetch!

[abcdefz]

I am fetching.

[Dorothy Wood]

well, we've got a big festival to hand out pamphlets at this weekend. maybe I'll rig something up so my face accidentally falls on his penis.

[adam_f]

If your face accidentally falls on his penis, I'm gonna say he'll finally get the idea you may like him.

And speaking of penis, a girl friend of mine reached in my pocket for my cell phone last week because hers died and mine was about to but she didn't care. I was waiting for a call and didn't want her to use up the battery. So she got my phone herself and I couldn't help but think that's the closest I've been to getting laid in a long time.

[abcdefz]

Stuff cash in his G-string.

[adam_f]

How the hell did you get 21,000 posts?

[abcdefz]

One foot in front of the other, Grasshopper.

[adam_f]

You're a wise me, a-z.

Dorothy, let's get married.

[Dorothy Wood]

*head butts adam in chest*

[adam_f]

*accepts the fact my chest now hurts*

[Dorothy Wood]

no! I was accepting your proposal!

sheesh :/

[monkey]

adam, you dirty little polygamist. im divorcing you.

[beastieangel01]

The only successful flirting I've ever done was always just good natured ribbing. Arguing and making fun of each other has always led to relationships for me.

I have noticed I do that a lot myself.
And sometimes I act like I'm 5 and I'll get physical via a push or smack on the arm.

But that's not always the case. I've been told I am a flirt but I don't really know what I'm doing.

I'm kind of self deprecating but in a light-hearted "haha I'm a nerd" kind of way or something. I dunno.

Sorry I got nothin ;/